Love Me Like You Mean It
by faithangel3
Summary: Being in love was never a problem for Clarke and Lexa but life had a plan of its own. AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Title is from my favourite Kelsea Ballerini song because for the first time ever I could not come up with a single title.

A/N: My first Clexa AU and to be honest when I first started writing for this pairing I couldn't imagine them living in any other world outside of the 100 verse. However after reading some amazing stories, I've been inspired.

 **Love Me Like You Mean It**

 _6 Years Ago_

 _Clarke took off her sweat pants and climbed into bed, her sweater still on to keep her warm as the cold New York winter air burst through her window. You would think she'd get up and close it but she liked the breeze as she slept. Coming from California, it was a nice change from the heat she was used too. She let out a soft yawn before rolling over on her stomach to grab her phone. Sure enough as if on cue her phone began to ring. It never ceased to amaze her that just when she was thinking of her girlfriend a message of some sort or a phone call always followed. It was endearing even though it was slightly creepy, in the best possible way._

" _You are so cute." Was the first thing she heard as she bunched her pillow up under her arm._

" _Hi beautiful." She answered with a shy laugh as she leaned her phone against her pillow, her head resting gently in the palm of her hand. In that moment she was almost certain that the smile on her face was the wattage of the sun._

" _I think I should be the one saying that. You're up late, I thought I had missed my window of opportunity."_

" _My girlfriend would be really disappointed in me if I didn't answer the face time call of a total knock out."_

 _Clarke watched as her girlfriend scrunched her nose up, another endearing trait her girlfriend had. Then again all her faces were perfect and Clarke was positive she knew them all by heart. Even if she didn't see them she knew what face she was getting by the tone of her girlfriends voice alone and almost every time it made her giggle softly. "You're probably right, I mean she can't be selfish and keep your beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, intelligent attention to herself."_

 _Even after years of being together, somehow her girlfriend always managed to put the biggest smile on her face and managed to keep it there. "I miss you. I used to look forward to coming home after a long day of studying and curling up next to you in bed."_

" _I miss you too. More than I will ever be able to express." She tried to stifle the yawn that managed to escape. "It's three a.m. there, why are you still awake my love?"_

" _Just got home from school. We had a group lab that was due so of course people left their parts to the last minute. What's got you up so late?"_

" _I couldn't sleep and I was studying for my next test. Have I ever told you how much I dread property law?" To drive her point home the women on the other end of the line held her up textbook that had post it notes all over it."_

 _Again all Clarke could do was smile but she was pretty sure it was mostly her body craving sleep. "Mm, I love when you get all sexy and sophisticated with your colour coordinated notes, and those glasses. Let me tell you how lucky you are that there are 3000 miles between us."_

" _And how does that make me lucky?"_

" _Are you flirting with me?" She raised her eyebrow, which only caused the woman on the other end of the line to laugh._

" _I wouldn't want to be flirting with anyone else, but I want to hear about your day before you fall asleep and leave me sexually frustrated."_

 _Clarke smiled as she felt her cheeks warm up. Even after being together for the better part of their lives her girlfriend still managed to give her butterflies and make her extremely nervous, especially when she was half asleep. "For starters, I would never do such a thing and my day was long, being an intern sucks. I'm basically the hospital bitch…is it bad that I love it?"_

 _Her girlfriend smiled, her eyes brightening as she listened to Clarke talk about her work. "From where I'm sitting, that's a good thing, I'm so proud of you Clarke."_

" _How was your day?"_

" _Oh you know, the usual. I had a date, his name was…" She looked down at her text book before looking back up at the camera on her phone. "Jamieson."_

" _And two minutes ago you were saying that I you wouldn't want to be flirting with anyone else."_

 _They were silent for a moment as Clarke's eyes involuntarily closed. "How could I when I have you. The only thing you don't do is pass my exams for me, hence, I gotta sleep with this guy."_

" _Okay, fine but I want a nice house in the hills as an apology."_

" _Says the next greatest surgeon."_

 _Silence filled both rooms as they laid there, looking at each other through half lidded eyes. "I miss you, I miss you so bad. I know I've already said it but four days at Christmas wasn't enough."_

" _I miss you too but I'm right here, keeping your side of the bed warm."_

" _Stay with me tonight?" It was a simple request but it was the only thing they had that made them feel just a little closer together._

" _You never even had to ask. Sleep love, I'm going to study a little bit more but I promise to be quiet."_

 _Clarke was barely able to nod her head as her eyes closed. Her girlfriend sat there for long moments with a sleepy smile of her own before picking up her text book._

 _Twenty minutes later a faint whisper was heard. "I love you Lexa." It was groggy at best, the rasp in the blondes voice made it near impossible to understand but to Lexa it was loud and clear._

" _I love you Clarke."_

 **XOXO**

She was hit with the warm California air as she took her first step off the plane. It had been awhile since she had been home, so long that it didn't really feel like home at all anymore. It had been just over three years since the last time she had decided to visit and if her mother hadn't called with a great job opportunity it probably would have been a lot longer.

When she had originally decided to go to New York it had been to get away from her mother. The last thing she wanted to build a name for herself based on who her mother was, so she only applied to the top medical schools on the east coast. She figured it was less likely that someone would recognize her based on her mother on the other side of the country. She needed to prove to the world and more importantly to herself that she was either going to fail or excel at being a great surgeon because of her own talent, not her last name. That was a lot harder to do when your mother was one of the leading cardio thoracic surgeons in the country, maybe even the western hemisphere.

The choice to leave had been hard; she was leaving behind her home, her friends, the family dog and her girlfriend. That was almost eight years ago.

"I hopped off the plane at LAX, with a dream and my cardigan…" And just like that Clarke's somewhat heavy moment was erased with her best friend singing in her ear, loudly in her ear.

"Really Octavia?" She raised an eyebrow at the woman.

"You're from here, I'm not, let a girl have her moment Clarke."

Octavia was the first person Clarke had me when she first got to New York. The story behind it was quite simple. Clarke needed a place to live and rent wasn't cheap so she went through a long list of potential places until she found Octavia, bold, brash, and honest, just her kind of girl. They had hit it off almost immediately, considering they didn't see much of each other. Neither girl spent a lot of time in the apartment, which is probably the main reason their friendship had blossomed.

A half hour later, they sat in the cab on their way to Clarke's family home in Laguna Beach.

"I jumped in the cab here I am for the first I look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign." Octavia started to sing again, leaning into Clarke as she did so. "Loosen up Clarke, you know you love that song, don't act like you don't because I caught you singing it in the shower."

Clarke could only roll her eyes as a slight smile crept over her features. "How is it you go from being a bad ass cop to a singing a fool?"

Octavia shrugged. "All part of my charm."

 **XOXO**

 _7 Years Ago_

" _Octavia." Lexa nodded curtly into the camera of her phone as she saw her girlfriends room mate lean in over her shoulder._

" _Sup Lex. I'm going to be home for the next two hours before I go out to meet Lincoln, so please hold off on the phone sex until after I leave. I do not want to hear that again."_

" _It was one time." Both Clarke and Lexa said in unison as Octavia walked away laughing._

" _I like her." Lexa said once she heard the door in the background close._

 _Clarke grinned like a fool. "I'm glad, I can't wait for you to meet her, outside of a phone call that is."_

" _I love seeing you so happy."_

" _You don't need to lay it on thick, you already won the best girlfriend of the year award."_

 _They heard Octavia making puking noises as she came out of her room and back into the kitchen. "Damn I really thought I was giving her a run for her money."_

" _You aren't the only one that rides a motorcycle." Lexa joked as she secretly took a screen shot of Clarke looking over at her roommate._

" _But I am the only one that does her laundry when her head is neck deep in her textbooks."_

" _Total unfair advantage of your current living situation."_

 _Clarke sat back as she held the phone in Octavia's direction. Ever since her and Octavia had gotten close, Octavia and Lexa had started an ongoing battle of who was better at arguing. At least that's what it sounded like to Clarke but she was pretty sure it was just their weird way of bonding._

" _Well I can rap. Always a crowd pleasure."_

" _You the girl from law school raps?"_

 _Clarke laughed, indeed her girlfriend was known to bust out a few rhymes. "West Coast, all the way, I'm not just a privileged girl from a gated community. Besides who do you think taught Clarke?"_

 _Octavia looked at her roommate. There had been a few occasions where she had come home to the woman dancing around the house, rapping to Eminem. "I need to see it to believe it."_

 _Lexa winked. "One day, if you're lucky."_

" _I'll be getting lucky tonight so it seems as though luck is on my side." A slap on the leg. "Ow. Clarke, okay fine, I'm going to get ready. Bye Lex Luther."_

 _Clarke looked back at her phone to see Lexa giving her a knowing grin. "What?"_

" _You know what." A look. "Don't scrunch those eyebrows at me Clarke Griffin."_

" _Or what?" She stuck her tongue out with a laugh causing Lexa to shake her head with a smile._

 **XOXO**

Later that week while Clarke was at the hospital Octavia decided to take a walk around the small coastal town and get acquainted with where she'd be living. Clarke had shown her a few places but she needed to stretch her wings, or at least that's what she had told Clarke when she had texted her an hour ago.

First on her list was trying to find the best coffee house. Which she figured shouldn't be hard considering that there really weren't that many, especially compared to what she was used too.

"Octavia." The barista called out her name as he set her latte on the counter. She put a lid on the cup and turned to leave. She turned too fast and nearly walked right into the person walking through the door. These California folk walked way too slow for her liking. There was definitely no hustle and busy in Laguna.

"Octavia?"

"Lexa." A moment passed as both women looked at each other. "I don't know whether I should hug you or hit you."

 **TBC…**

A/N: I've had this idea for a while so we'll see where it goes. Recently inspired by Eliza's periscope Q&A. This is going to be a little time jumpy so I hope it all makes sense, if it doesn't please feel free to ask me anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"You're in Laguna." It wasn't a question, Lexa was hoping that if she said it out loud that her brain would process that Octavia was, in fact in Laguna. Octavia nodded slightly, a fire burning in her eyes that Lexa knew she didn't want to ignite any further. "What finally brought you here?"

Octavia shook her head and clenched her jaw. There were so many things she wanted to say but she knew Clarke probably wouldn't approve of more than half of them. "I got a job offer in L.A." A pause. "You know what screw it. I don't owe you anything. You told me you were going to propose, not break up with her."

 ** _XOXO_**

 _4 Years Ago_

 _Octavia was sitting in the kitchen when she saw Lexa's name show up on her caller I.D. "Hey Lex what's up? You know Clarke's at the hospital right? I still haven't killed her."_

 _Lexa laughed at the way Octavia answered the phone, she was always straight to the point. Lexa figured it was the New York way, and she happened to like it. "That's why I'm calling you now but it'd be much easier if you let me in and we could speak face to face."_

 _Before Octavia could process exactly what Lexa had said she heard a knock at the door. She got up so quickly that she nearly tripped over the chair she had just pushed back. She pulled the front door open so quick she nearly put a hole in the back behind it. Sure enough she found a smiling Lexa standing in front of her._

 _"Well holy shit. Look what the cat dragged in." Lexa rolled her eyes._

 _"It's only been three months, that's not that long."_

 _Octavia raised an eyebrow. "You deal with a mopey 'I miss my girlfriend' Clarke for a week and see how long three months really is. She didn't mention you coming in though. Where are your bags?"_

 _Lexa rolled her eyes as she moved into the apartment. She took a deep breathe in, remembering the exact way the apartment smelled. She knew it was a little weird but it sort of felt like coming home. "That's because she doesn't know that I'm here. I came to see you."_

 _Octavia pointed at herself. "Me? Why? What did you do?"_

 _"I haven't done it yet because I wanted your opinion on it first."_

 _The shorter brunette's eyes went wide. "Where is it? Let me see it right now Lexa Callaway."_

 _"See what?"_

" _The ring Lexa, let me see the damn ring!"_

 _Lexa laughed and rubbed the back of her neck. "You are too smart for you own good, how did you know?"_

 _Lexa received a pointed look as she sat down at the kitchen table. "I've known you for awhile now and you aren't as hard to read as you would like to think, so come on let me see it."_

" _That's actually why I'm here. I wanted your help picking it out. Well more of your opinion, I think I know exactly what she wants but your feedback would be beneficial."_

" _Me? What about Raven?"_

 _Lexa smiled as Octavia's comment, knowing that Raven was Clarke's best childhood friend. "I asked Raven, she gave me her blessing and so did Abby but you're the closest to her, you see her the more and dare I say you know her almost better than I do."_

" _So you what… Want to go ring shopping?" Lexa nodded. "I am all for spending your money and depending on what you pick out we'll talk about you actually giving it to her. When do you want to go?"_

" _How does now work?"_

 _Octavia looked down at her watch. "Lucky for you, I have some time. Let me grab my bag and then we can go. Have anywhere in mind?" She yelled from her bedroom._

" _Tiffany's?"_

" _Seriously? Can you afford that?"_

 _Lexa laughed. "Yes, but do you think it's a good idea?"_

" _Every girl dreams about getting a little blue box and seeing as though that's Clarke's favourite book I'd say that's a good place to start."_

 ** _XOXO_**

"If it wasn't for the sake of my job, you'd be on the floor right now."

Lexa stood up a little straighter and took the harsh words as stoically as she could, she knew she deserved them. Then she felt a hand rub up and down her back and a kiss on her cheek. "I thought you'd be out by now, your parents are waiting."

Octavia shook her head with a snarky laugh. "Amazing, you aren't the person I thought you were." She brushed by the woman standing in front of her, she had had enough and it had taken all her self-control to not do something that could get her arrested.

"Octavia! Wait!" Lexa called out, ready to go after the woman she once considered a friend but a hand on her arm stopped her from moving out the door.

"Come on, we gotta get to your parents for brunch."

"Can you get the drinks Costia, I need some air. I'll meet you in the car." Without another word to walked out the door and didn't really allow herself to think under she was in the confines of her car. She let out the breath that she had been unintentionally holding. She tried so hard to not think about the past but the past has, almost literally, punched her in the gut and knocked the air out of her lungs.

 **XOXO**

"You're home early." Octavia smiled as Clarke walked into the kitchen and threw her purse on the table.

"I worked a 12 hour shift, how is that early?" Clarke laughed as she moved into the living room and flopped down on the couch next to her friend.

"You usually work a lot more than that, so for you, early."

Clarke leaned her head back onto the couch, her eyes closed as she visibly relaxed. "What is it you aren't telling O."

Octavia rolled her eyes, her friend knew her far too well. "Remember the other day when we had that conversation about her who shall not be named?"

"What about it?" She didn't open her eyes.

"And you told me that we'd run in to her sooner rather than later and I laughed because I told you that the world is bigger than that. To which you said life hates you and is always bringing you two together somehow?"

"Stop rambling and spit it out."

Octavia took a deep breath. "I ran into her today at that café on…" Octavia paused trying to remember the name of the road.

"The Beacher, on Pine Street. It's her favourite." Her tone held no information like she was reciting words from a textbook. It was a fact and she stated it that way.

"Yep, that one."

Clarke opened an eye as she looked at her best friend. "Did you hit her?" The other woman shook her head causing Clarke to shrug. "Told you, life likes to play these jokes on. It's like I'm cosmically tied to her and believe me I really wish I wasn't."

"But you haven't run into her yet."

"Because I'm being smart about it. I go to the hospital and then I come home and I only stop for coffee once I'm in the city."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Clarke got up and went upstairs to change. She came back down ten minutes as walked out into the backyard. Only then did Octavia get up and meet her outside. The Griffin's had a large back yard that was accompanied with a large deck. Clarke was leaning over the railing of the deck, looking out at the water beyond her fenced backyard.

"You okay?"

Clarke nodded as Octavia moved to stand beside her. "I knew it was a matter time before once of us saw her. It's been almost four years I can't afford to let it get to me anymore. The past is the past so life can shove it. I'm going to go down for a walk, want to come?"

Octavia nodded as she followed Clarke back inside to get thin hoodies and slip on their sandals. Ten minutes later they were standing on the beach, it was only then that they broke their easy silence. "How did she look?" It was a genuine question.

"Shocked, I don't think she was expecting to see me today." Clarke continued to look down at the sand.

"Really though."

"She looked okay, I wasn't really looking because all I was picturing was the ways I could make her suffer."

Clarke let out a small laugh. "You're the best, you know that right."

"I told you that I would be here for you through all of this. I know you feel like you should be over it by now and that you have to deal with it alone but you don't. I'm here and so is Raven. This is your home too, and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide from it. But I did leave something out."

"She was with her." Clarke didn't need to look up to see Octavia nod her head slightly.

"You're not surprised?"

Clarke shook her head. "No." To anyone else it would have seemed like a simple answer but Octavia knew the true complexity behind it.

 ** _XOXO_**

 _4.5 Years Ago_

" _Costia is blowing up your phone tonight." Clarke said as she looked over at her girlfriend's phone that was sitting on the bedside table._

" _She'll be waiting a while for a reply." Lexa answered without bothering to open her eyes._

 _The two were lying in bed after a long day. Clarke had been stuck in the hospital and Lexa's flight had been delayed. So they agreed that they were happy to stay in and curl up in Clarke's bed. It had been almost four months since the last time they had seen each other. Their schedules were only becoming more and more hectic making it increasingly harder to find the time to fly across the country._

" _At first I thought she was just trying to be your friend, now I'm almost certain that home girl is in to you."_

 _Lexa let out a laugh as her arms tightening around Clarke's waist. "Home girl? You hang out with Octavia, way too much."_

" _We live together."_

" _Exactly my point." Clarke smiled as she felt Lexa draw a heart on her back with her fingertips. Suddenly Lexa felt Clarke's weight shift and before she knew it her girlfriend was straddling her waist. Finally opening her eyes Lexa looked up only to see shimmering blue looking back at her. "I am so in love with you that I don't see anyone else so even if she was into me, which I don't think she is. I wouldn't notice because you are everything to me Clarke. I would be lost without because more than anything else you are my best friend." She reached her hand up from Clarke's waist and brushed her hair behind her ear as she leaned up on her arm._

" _How do you do that?" Clarke smiled as she leaned their foreheads together._

" _How do I do what?"_

" _How do you still manage to give me the craziest butterflies, even now?"_

 _Lexa let out a laugh. "I told you before, I have them on speed dial. Little guys are always willing to help a girl out."_

" _You are the world's biggest dork."_

" _But I'm your dork and a sexy one at that." Her hands started to trail up Clarke's sides under her shirt._

 _The blonde raised an eyebrow. "You're alright I guess. Don't give me that cocky look, you aren't as big a bad ass as you think."_

" _I can definitely be bad."_

" _Oh yeah?" This is what made them work; they battled each other, even when it was for fun. "Prove it."_

 _Clarke's attention was diverted when Lexa's phone started vibrating on the table. "Ugh, seriously." She heard Lexa whine. "Whoever it is, get rid of them."_

 _Nodding the blonde reached her arm out and grabbed the phone. Without looking at who was calling she swiped her finger across the screen. "Lexa Callaway's phone."_

" _Hi, can I speak to Lexa please?" Clarke was having a hard time responding as Lexa leaned up and started peppering kisses up and down her neck._

" _I'm sorry Lexa is…unavailable at the moment." She tried to keep her voice even before her girlfriend was making it hard. Before she could say another word, Lexa moved Clarke off her lap and stood up. "Can I take a message?" Clarke asked as Lexa shook her head, turning on Clarke's stereo. She started mouthing the words to the song as she took her shirt off. "Can I take a message?"_

" _Don't be afraid, cause I won't bite. I promise to give it to you just the way you like and who can love you like me?" She whispered the lyrics of the song into Clarke's ear as her hands went to Clarke's waist._

" _Can you please tell her to call Costia back at her earliest convenience." Clarke couldn't help the squeal that came out as Lexa's hands trailed up her sides, gently tickling her._

" _I'll make sure she gets the message Costia. Is there anything else you'd like me to pass along to her?" Clarke said her name on purpose so that Lexa would know who she was on the phone. Backing away from the bed Lexa slid her pants down before stepping out of them, clearly not caring about who was on the phone. She started to move backwards towards Clarke's bathroom and Clarke was finding it almost impossible to pay attention to her phone conversation._

" _If you could tell her that it's important information about the case we're working on that would…" Before Clarke knew it Lexa took the phone out of her hand, hit the end call button and threw her phone onto the bed._

 _She reached her hand out and pulled Clarke up. "She was leaving you a message."_

" _I'm on vacation and I really could not care less, especially right now because my girlfriend is about to be very naked in the shower with me."_

 _Clarke couldn't help but grin as she let Lexa lead her into her the bathroom after turning the stereo up._

 _Five minutes later Clarke couldn't remember the phone call she had just taken let alone anything else. Her arms were gently being held above her head, one leg wrapped around her girlfriend's waist bringing them closer together. Lexa's lips were on her neck, nipping and biting softly as the rest of their bodies moved together. The hot water ran over them, steaming the glass of the shower as they got reacquainted._

 **TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Two weeks passed without Clarke seeing Lexa, which was longer then she'd anticipated but something she was more than happy about. She really had no desire to see the other woman. There was a permanent sketch of her in Clarke's mind, one that she had tried to erase a million times but it never seemed to leave for good. Instead, she kept it locked a box that she had no intention of opening.

She stepped through the hospital doors and immediately relaxed, the hospital was her safe zone. Even though if it hadn't been for the hospital she wouldn't have been back in California at all. Her mother needed a favour and Clarke wasn't exactly one to turn down an opportunity. If it had just been her mother's asking, she may have felt differently but she was promptly informed that the board of directors were the ones who brought the idea up to her mother. Her mother, that now happened to be the chief of surgery. So when the chief of surgery from Cedar Sinai Hospital calls you, you answer regardless of who the chief is to you personally. You just don't turn down a job at one of the best hospitals in the country. Being a general surgeon wasn't exactly the specialty her mother expected her to take but she loved it. She thought herself to be well versed in cardio but she didn't want to deal with hearts for the rest of her surgical career.

"Hey Clarke, I thought today was your day off?" One of the nurses, Harper, said with a smile as Clarke approached the nurses station.

"It was supposed to be but they needed someone to cover the E.R. I decided the over time wouldn't hurt."

Harper smiled at her as she handed her a chart. "You know no one here thinks you got the job because of who your mother is. We've all heard great things about you, don't kill yourself trying to prove something to people who's approval you already have."

"Thank you, Harper, that means a lot." She smiled as she looked the chart over. Motorcycle accident, a few lacerations but nothing too serious.

"Bed 4." Harper added before Clark could ask her.

Clarke walked towards the right bed and pulled the curtain open just enough for her to walk through. "Hi there, I'm doctor Griffin, I'm going to be looking after you tonight Miss…" Clarke finally looked up from the chart with a smile not seeing a name on the chart.

Her heart stopped. This couldn't be happening, not here, not in her safe place. She knew she must have looked like a deer in headlights as piercing green eyes looked back at her. "Callaway, but please, call me Lexa." She wasn't the only one in the room who's heart stopped.

"Well Miss Callaway, I'm going to do a quick examination and we'll get this cleaned up and then you can be on your way." Clarke said professionally as she took in the look of the laceration on Lexa's leg before asking her to sit up. She had to keep reminding herself who was sitting in front of her because she forgot just how sexy the other woman's voice was. Taking her stethoscope from around her neck she put it on before holding the end to Lexa's back. "Can you take a deep breath for me please?" A pause. "Your lungs are clear, that's a good sign. She steadied her nerves as she moved to check the woman's heart rate. The tension in the air was thick, neither woman knew what to say or how to act. "Sorry this is going to be a little cold." Clarke figured if nothing else she was going to be professional even though what she really wanted to do was run as fast as she could in the opposite direction, jump on a plane and go right back to New York.

"It's okay." Was all Lexa offered, she was too stunned to function as she watched Clarke work around. This had really not been how she expected her day to go.

"You're heart rate is a little fast but nothing serious enough to worry about." Lexa cursed herself in her head, she had been trying to calm down but apparently it hadn't worked. The minute she had seen Clarke walk into the room her heart sped up and it clearly had yet to slow back down. "Everything else seems to be fine."

"I had my riding jacket on." Lexa informed her, Clarke had always told her that she didn't care how hot it was outside, she needed to wear the jacket.

"Good, you'd be surprised how many people don't wear one. I had a patient come in paralyzed all because he wasn't wearing a riding jacket. Too many people ignore motorcyles like they aren't on the road at all." Clarke wasn't one for small talk but it was all she could do to pretend that Lexa was just any other patient. "Your leg is going to need stitches but I need to clean it up first."

Lexa nodded, she really didn't know what to say. She was having a hard time taking her eyes off the blonde doctor. A part of her wanted to reach out and hug her and tell her how proud of her she was that she had accomplished her goals. The other part of her wished she had never gone to the hospital because seeing Clarke, especially Clarke in that white coat, looking all professional took her breath away. "You can get an intern to take care of that. I won't sue the hospital for malpractice."

"There's no one else here, which is why I am. Believe me I would have already called them in here." Clarke hadn't meant to be harsh but this was awkward and they both knew it. "Besides it needs to be cleaned properly in order to avoid infection. It's not like I think you're going to rest it and take it easy." The last part just came out, even after four years, a habit was a habit.

"This is going to hurt isn't it?" Clarke nodded as she sat down in the chair next to the bed Lexa was in. She moved the small metal table next to herself and put out the gauze, antiseptic and tweezers. "So you're finally home, I mean you're back." A part of Lexa wanted to tear up, she was pretty certain Clarke was never coming back to California.

Clarke nodded as she started to clean the cut on Lexa's leg. "Yes."

"I had a feeling, I ran into Octavia. She didn't mention anything but I figured the only reason she'd be here was if you were." She was rambling, she always rambled to Clarke when she was nervous and what was worse was that she knew Clarke was well aware of that.

"She got an offer from S.W.A.T. She couldn't pass it up."

Lexa's eyes went wide. "Seriously?" Again the blonde doctor nodded without looking up, far too focused on her task. "That's amazing and incredible. We're all very lucky to have her, and you too of course since you're working here." More rambling.

"You're going to need stitches but outside of that, you'll be just fine." She turned around and got the needle ready without showing it to Lexa. When she turned back around, she finally looked at her patient, their eyes locked and it was hard for either of them to look away. There was four years of emotion and pain behind both their eyes. "I'll be back in a few minutes to close you up." Clarke said as she stood up from the chair finally breaking their look.

"Aren't you going to freeze it?" Lexa asked nervously, needles had never been her strong suit even though she had a few tattoos.

"I already did." Clarke stated as she held up the empty needle before dropping it into the hazard bin. With that she walked out, leaving Lexa alone with her thoughts. Clarke had purposely held her gaze and not told her about the needle. She still knew her.

 **XOXO**

 _8 Years Ago_

 _"_ _It won't be that bad, I promise I'll hold your hand the whole time and kiss it better once it's done."_

 _"_ _I don't want to get a tetanus shot though." Lexa whined from her seat in the doctor's office._

 _Clarke shook her head with a smile and placed a soft kiss on her girlfriend's cheek. "You shouldn't have stepped on a rusty nail then."_

 _"_ _How was I to know that a rusty old nail was going to assault my shoe?!" She pouted as she rested her head on her girlfriends shoulder. "I'm going to sue it."_

 _Clarke kissed the top of her head. "My big bad lawyer, scared of a needle and mad at a nail. Here I thought you were fearless."_

 _"_ _Mockery is not the product of a strong mind Clarke."_

 _"_ _You'll survive."_

 _Lexa looked up with at her girlfriend with a grin on her face. "I know what will make it better." She wiggled her eyebrows as the doctor called her name out._

 _They walked into the room together to which the doctor laughed. Before Lexa could see the needle Clarke cupped her cheek and turned her head before softly taking Lexa's lips between her own. Lexa had been so swept up in the kiss that she barely felt the needle go into her arm._

 _"_ _All done." The doctor grinned and gave Clarke a thumbs up._

 _"_ _You sneaky mom!" Lexa joked as they both stood up from the bed._

 _Clarke rolled her eyes. "Let's go get you some ice cream."_

 _"_ _Yes." Lexa cheered as she followed Clarke out of the office._

 _Fifteen minutes later they were sitting on the bench near the beach eating their ice cream cones. "I told you it would make me feel better."_

 _"_ _You really are three years old." Lexa shook her head and held up four fingers. "Adorable, I'm dating a toddler." She rolled her eyes as they intertwined their fingers._

 _"_ _You really do always know how to make me feel better, thank you for coming with me. I know you should be studying."_

 _Clarke smiled and kissed Lexa's temple. "Some things are more important than school but if I fail, you better be ready for me to be a housewife."_

 _"_ _If you were a housewife, I'd come home to the house on fire because you tried to do god only knows what, probably with Raven to boot."_

 ** _XOXO_**

Sure enough five minutes later Clarke moved past the curtain once again as Lexa put her phone down. "How's the pain Miss Callaway?" The way Clarke said her last name almost brought a smile to herself but reality set in far too quickly.

"It's fine, I've had worse." She thought back to the way her heart broke 4 years ago, if she never had to suffer through that pain again then she was doing just fine.

"Did you feel that?" Lexa shook her head no as Clarke gently touched the area near the wound. "Good, if you feel anything at all please let me know right away and I'll make sure to take care of it."

Lexa could only nod as she watched Clarke get to work. There was so much she wanted to say. More than anything she really wanted to tell her just how proud of her she was because more than the pain of losing the woman she was proud of her for making her dreams come true. It was a thought she couldn't quite get passed. She had watched how hard the blonde had worked and it clearly had paid off. "You know this wasn't exactly how I pictured seeing you after four years, you know, under these circumstances." More rambling.

Clarke stayed silent as she continued to stitch Lexa's leg up. She was mad, she was furious, she wanted to scream and shout but more than anything to she wanted to wrap her arms around the woman lying on the bed and let her know that she was thankful she was okay. She had always warned her about being careful on her bike because people were reckless. She had seen far too many motorcyle accidents that ended with a lot worse than a few stitches. Octavia definitely hadn't been telling her the whole truth when she had said that Lexa looked okay because in reality she looked amazing but instead of allowing herself to feel every emotion there was she focused on doing her job.

"Take it, it was the job that brought you home?"

"I'm almost done here Miss Callaway."

"Clarke, come on, this isn't easy for me either. Especially since I showed up a bloody mess, literally a bloody mess and I now have my ex-girlfriend stitching me up."

Clarke stopped momentarily as she heard Lexa say her name. Something about the way her name rolled off her ex-girlfriends tongue always got to her and apparently still did but she wasn't going to let Lexa know that. "There we go, all done." Clarke applied a bandage to cover the fresh stitches before standing up.

"Please see the nurse before you leave to get instructions on how to keep the wound clean and if you have any questions or concerns feel free to come on back in."

"Will you be here?"

Clarke shook her head. "Probably not, I'm just doing the hospital a favour tonight." She started to clean up as Lexa grabbed her phone off the table. "The nurse will be right in to see you."

By the time Lexa looked up Clarke had already left the confines of the cubicle. Sure enough just as Clarke had left the nurse came in with discharge papers for Lexa to sign. The nurse helped her into the mandatory wheel chair and rolled her out to the desk. Lexa went through her belongings and pulled out health card. "Lexa Callaway, of the Callaway Group?" The nurse asked politely.

Lexa smiled. "Yes ma'am." Clarke couldn't help but notice just how charming Lexa still was when she wanted to be.

"Do you have a ride home? I wouldn't advise riding your motorcycle."

"Someone is coming to get me." Lexa said politely as her phone continued to light up. She ignored it as she signed the papers and spotted Clarke behind the desk. Rolling herself over to face the woman she cleared her throat.

"Everything alright Miss Callaway?" She looked up from her chart with a less than amused look on her face. Lexa had to scorn herself for momentarily thinking about how hot that look was.

"I just wanted to say thank you." Her phone was still lighting up every other second.

Clarke gave her a curt nod. "No need for thanks, it's my job. You should probably answer that, I'm sure it's important. Excuse me I need to go, have a nice night." With that she walked away without looking back

A few minutes later Lexa looked up when she heard the clicking of heels on the tiled floor. "You haven't answered your phone, are you okay?"

She felt a kiss on her cheek. "Sorry, I'm still a little out of it."

"Are you in pain, do I need to get them to give you anything stronger for it?"

Lexa looked up and saw a quick glimpse of Clarke looking in her direction. "No, no they took really good care of me. No pain at all." Costia looked in the same direction Lexa was looking in.

"Okay, good, let's get you home."

"Yeah, sounds good." Costia pushed her towards the doors, as they passed Clarke once more who was helping a young girl that looked as though she had a broken arm. She didn't look up as they passed her but Lexa had a hard time looking at anything except the blonde. She couldn't believe that after all this time that Clarke was home.

Once they were in the car, Lexa relaxed into the seat and closed her eyes. "So she's finally home, that was Clarke and she's home."

Lexa nodded as Costia took her hand in her own. "Apparently so."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a long day and you don't have anything to worry about, Clarke and I were done a long time ago."

Costia kissed the back of her hand. "I thought you were over it?" Her tone wasn't accusatory but it wasn't entirely sincere either.

"It's easy to be over someone when you don't have to face the other person. That won't be the last we see of her, so I'm going to have to get used to it."

"What do you mean? Are you two suddenly going to be sorority sisters again?"

Lexa shook her head. "We always end up running into each other, it's inevitable. I gave up trying to figure out why a long time ago, but I just know it's going to happen."

"I see. So that Octavia girl from the coffee shop, that's Clarke's best friend." Lexa nodded again, she really didn't want to go over this right now.

"Yeah, but I'm really tired Cos, wake me when we get home k?" Lexa looked over at her girlfriend with a small smile before closing her eyes again.

 **XOXO**

"Octavia?" Clarke yelled as she walked through the front door of her family home. It was noon so she figured the other woman would be up. "Octavia, I really need to talk to you so get your ass into the kitchen!" As she walked further into the house she realized that it was far too quiet. That's when she heard laughing coming from outside. Opening the back door she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Bought time you got home Griffin, so nice of you to visit by the way!"

"You were in Texas Raven!" They embraced in a tight hug. "I missed your ugly face."

"I can't help that I'm literally a rocket scientist but I missed your exhausted face too. Now tell us what you were yelling about."

Clarke looked between her two best friends. "First tell me what you two are up too? I heard laughing, you two laughing is never a good thing." The two had hit it off right away when Raven had visit their apartment one weekend just after Clarke had moved in. Sadly for Clarke they had been friends ever since.

"I was telling Octavia some stories, that's all. They may have been about how when you first tried to learn to surf, you may have ended up needing the life guard to save you."

"You never told me Lexa saved your life Clarke, that's something real big to leave out."

"This is why I don't allow you two to spend more than a weekend in the same room!" Clarke rolled her eyes as she sat down at the patio table. "Speaking of Lexa, guess who needed to be stitched up last night?"

Octavia's face fell. "Seriously? She was at the hospital?" Clarke nodded as she took a sip of Octavia's not so much orange juice.

"Damn that's strong O."

"Raven made it." They both said in unison as the other woman grinned. "Mostly vodka." Octavia added as if Clarke hadn't already figured that out.

"You know mimosa's are supposed to be champagne and orange juice right, vodka and orange juice is a screw driver."

Raven gave her an annoyed look. "I'm quite aware, I do own my own bar after all. Now continue with your story and by the sounds of it you need the vodka."

"She got into a motorcycle accident last night and I had to stitch her up, there was no one else that could."

"How romantic, now you've both saved each other." Octavia grinned earning a high five from Raven.

"We're almost 30 and you two are still high fiving? You could have warned me how good she looked O."

"Yeah I didn't think that was a good idea. I can rearrange her face though if you want." Octavia shrugged as she took another sip of her drink.

"Forget that, what did she say? What did you say?" Raven asked as she leaned forward, getting ready to hear the story Clarke was about to tell them.

A half hour later they were still sitting on the porch, enjoying the weather in silence when Octavia finally asked the one question she had been dying to know since they had gotten into town. "Who the hell owns that house up there on the hill, the mafia? And if so are they single?"

"One you have a boyfriend, you know Lincoln?" Octavia waved her hand dismissing Clarke's comment.

"Second," Raven started, "that's the Callaway house."

It took a minute for the dots to connect in Octavia's head. "That's Lexa's house?" Both Raven and Clarke nodded.

"Damn Clarke Kent, you really know how to pick em." She rolled her eyes at her friend and stood up.

"I'm going for a nap. Wake me up in a couple hours so we can all go do something we probably shouldn't."

Raven grinned. "Those are always my favourite things to do.

 **TBC…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It had been a really long day at the office for Lexa. She had gotten stuck in meeting after meeting. It wasn't what she had in mind when she told her father that she would step in as CEO in his absence. Really she wanted to get back to practicing law but she loved her father and would do anything to help the family.

Her leg was still sore but sitting all day wasn't her style so she decided to walk the short distance to her condo in the city. She had bought it for nights like this, when she was too tired to drive back to Laguna. It helped that her best friend lived in L.A. so it made for a good excuse to stay.

"Hey hobbles." She smiled and hugged her best friend as they stood out front of the restaurant they had agreed to meet at. "I do love getting your last minute dinner invitations but I hope you know I expect to hear about that leg of yours and how a certain blonde doctor stitched you up."

"Did you get a table Anya?" Lexa asked as her stomach grumbled.

"No I just got here." Lexa gave her a look. "What? I was out with Gus."

"But we're gonna have to wait and I'm hungry."

"Suck it up Commander." She hated that nickname but Anya had started calling her that when they were little and it stuck.

Lexa rolled her eyes as Anya held the door open for her. "Have you heard from her at all?" Anya nodded as they walked up to the front desk. "For two please." Lexa smiled at the hostess.

"It'll be about ten minutes, if that's okay." The hostess said with a smile.

"That's fine." She turned back to her friend and folded her arms across her chest. "Well…"

"Nothing really to tell she was letting me know she was in town and that if it was okay with you and I wanted to grab coffee to let her know."

"And do you?"

"Do I what? Want to see someone who was one of my good friends, even though her perky nature drives me crazy."

"She's not perky."

Anya laughed as Lexa stood up for her ex. "Old habits die hard don't they? That's a change in tune from the 'we hate Clarke Griffin' phase."

"I'm trying to be mature and I guess this is her home too. It can't be easy to come back after being gone for so long."

"You're totally into her still." Anya realized as they were escorted to their table. "She's still that attractive eh?" The taller woman wiggled her eyebrows as they sat down.

"I'm not into her, I'm in a committed relationship and have been for almost three years. When are you going to accept Costia?"

Anya shrugged, she had struggled with Clarke and Lexa's breakup almost as much as Lexa had. "I accept it, I've just seen you really happy Lexa and as happy as you have convinced yourself you are there's no fire in your eyes. I told you, I support your decisions but Costia and I are never going to have the relationship Clarke and I had. Especially since we all grew up together, don't forget it was me that used to invite her to your parties."

"It's okay, if you want to see her. You should see her, she seems to be doing well for herself. You have my blessing." Lexa realised that Anya was right, Clarke and Anya had been closer than her and Clarke until they got to University.

An hour later the two best friends hugged once again outside of the restaurant. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?"

"It's literally three blocks away. I can handle it, thank you though."

Anya nodded with a smile. "Before you do what you're about to just do me a favour and really think it through. Don't rush into something because you think that that's the only way to truly move on. There was a time when you would have left work or the library at 2 a.m. and still driven home, just so you could be with someone. Yet here you are at 11 p.m. about to crash at the condo because you're too tired to go home."

"What are you trying to say Anya?"

"I'm saying maybe that means something, maybe it doesn't but you would have literally flown across the country to fall asleep with Clarke for an hour."

"I was young and dumb, text me when you get home."z

"You got it captain." Lexa shook her head as she watched her friend walk away before turning in the opposite direction. Just as she was almost passed the glass windows of the restaurant she had just come out of she saw blonde hair tilted back laughing. She shook the cobwebs out and took another step telling herself not to look because she was acting crazy. She was usually good at reasoning to herself but tonight curiosity got the better of her. Turning towards the window she thought she was trapped in a nightmare. Sitting by the front glass was Clarke. Her head tilted back laughing in the way only she could when something was really funny. Then she saw who it was that was making her laugh and her heart stopped momentarily. Tears welled up in her eyes causing her to look up and compose herself. Clarke had him and she had Costia. If Clarke was going to be back in town then they'd definitely run into each other and that would have to be okay. Or at least that was what she attempted to tell herself.

Twenty minutes later she relaxed in her bed after a quick shower. It had been four years, four hard years but they had their own lives, they had moved on but still all Lexa could think about was what Anya had said, not that Lexa would ever admit it to anyone else.

 **XOXO**

 _5 Years Ago_

 _They had both had classes all day and were utterly exhausted but that hadn't stopped them from making sure they made it home to the other. Sometimes life got hectic, between work, school and friends it was hard to manage time together so they had come up with a pact. No matter what, they would try their hardest to make it home to each other at night. Even if it was just a face time call._

 _Clarke rolled over with a hum of approval as she drapped her arm over Lexa's waist and looked up at her girlfriend. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun, her glasses sat low on her nose as she read over her case notes._

 _"_ _When did you get here?" She asked, her voice raspy from just waking up._

 _"_ _Late last night, or I guess early this morning. Octavia left the key out for me."_

 _Clarke leaned up and kissed her cheek, barely gravzing the corner of her lips. "You should have waken me."_

 _"_ _You should kiss me properly, I did have a long flight after all."_

 _"_ _Only if you put that down. I know you have studying to do but you can do that after you get some more sleep with me."_

 _Lexa smiled wider than she had in weeks. "You're trouble, you do know that right."_

 _"_ _The best kind." Clarke grinned as she moved her hand up and grabbed the notes out of Lexa's hand, tossing them onto the floor. "Don't worry, their feelings won't be hurt. So how long do I have you for?"_

 _"_ _Roughly, 36 hours," Lexa answered as she looked over at the clock._

 _Clarke reached up and undid Lexa's hair. "Mmm, that's better," she husked as the curls fell down past Lexa's shoulders. "Not that I am at all complaining to waking up to my crazy beautiful, intelligent girlfriend, but are you okay? What brings you to my end of the country?"_

 _"_ _Honestly? No judgment?"_

 _The blonde leaned up and kissed the tip of her nose. "No judgment."_

 _"_ _First all of you forgot to add sexy as hell to your list of my qualities and I haven't been sleeping very well. I'm so stressed with school and dad teaching me about the business that I can't sleep. Then I come home and you aren't there and I know this sounds absolutely pathetic but I miss you so much more at night. It used to be our unwind time and now with time difference, it makes it hard sometimes."_

 _"_ _You flew all the way our here because you couldn't sleep?"_

 _Lexa blushed, now that Clarke said it she heard just how crazy it was. "Is it too psycho girlfriend if I say yes?"_

 _Clarke laughed. "No, maybe to some people but when you've been together as long as we have I think it's normal."_

 _"_ _You'd think after almost two years I'd be used to it but I'm not. Don't get me wrong as hard as this is sometimes, it's worth it and I've never thought otherwise. It did get me thinking though."_

 _"_ _Oh no, you thinking can be a scary thing Commander."_

 _Lexa looked down at her girlfriend pointedly. "You've been talking to Anya again haven't you? I thought she was my best friend?"_

 _"_ _You and Octavia talk for hours on the phone sometimes."_

 _"_ _Yeah about kick boxing and muai thai!"_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes and she leaned up on her girlfriend so that her chin was resting on Lexa's chest. "Still, and I know you have coffee with Raven, and dinner with Raven."_

 _"_ _Raven doesn't count! Her and I have been friends since preschool."_

 _"_ _Yeah but she's my best friend, anyways what were you thinking?"_

 _Lexa laughed, Clarke always had a way of making her forget her point, something that was so uncharacteristic of her. "When we graduate we should get an apartment together, here in New York. That way when I come visit we'll have our own little hideaway."_

 _"_ _Seriously?"_

 _Lexa nodded. "Yes, it's not like we haven't lived together before."_

 _"_ _In college, that hardly counts but I'd like that. For now how about we turn on some cartoons and get some more sleep."_

 _"_ _I was working on my notes you know?"_

 _Clarke raised her head back up from where she had just laid it down on Lexa's chest. "You work too hard, I hereby give you at least an eight hour break. Then you can study while I run to the hospital to pick up my lab reports and then you are all mine again because you didn't fly for four hours to work on your notes plus I know you worked on them on the plane."_

 _"_ _Deal, but that means no work for you either."_

 _Clarke shook her head and placed a feather light kiss on Lexa's collarbone. "That sounds like a great game plan. I'm so glad my girlfriend is loaded."_

 _"_ _That you are and that your girlfriends even more loaded parents happen to adore you."_

 _"_ _That reminds me, I need to text your mom about our dinner date."_

 _Lexa sighed as she ran her fingers up and down Clarke's back under her shirt. "Why am I not surprised you have dinner with my mother when they're in town."_

 _"_ _Sometimes your dad comes but your mom usually likes the girl time."_

 _"_ _Tell me about your day yesterday." It was a gentle request. One that Lexa often made when she was tired. She loved hearing Clarke's voice and she was always genuinely interested about her girlfriend's life outside of their relationship._

 _Five minutes in Clarke looked up at her girlfriend and smiled at her sleeping form. Sometimes it was clear that this was what life was meant to be like. Outside of friends, family and careers, it was about the simple moments that took your breath away and in that moment as Clarke watched her girlfriend sleep she found herself breathless._

 ** _XOXO_**

"I can't believe it, you really are home." Anya smiled as she embraced her friend in a tight a hug.

In that moment Clarke had realised how much she had missed Anya. She reminded her a lot of Octavia, she was hard headed, stubborn, said it like she saw it and loved just as fiercely. She squeezed her friend back before they ordered their iced coffees and sat out on the patio. "I can't believe it either to be honest. I really never saw myself coming back. You'd like New York, it's really bad ass."

Anya laughed. "You look older, in a good way and I hear you got that fancy medical degree you were always talking about."

"Facebook could have told you that Anya."

"You did a good job with the stitches but I would have made it hurt more."

Clarke nodded as she took a sip of her drink. "She told you about that."

Anya's eyes went a little wide accompanied with a laugh. "Only you two would run into each other after four years that way but I don't want to talk about her. I want to talk about you. Make up for lost time, you never called."

Clarke's throat was suddenly really dry. "I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't hear the disappointment in your voice too. I couldn't come to you with it, she deserved to have someone outside of Costia."

"Could you say her name with a little more venom?" The blonde rolled her eyes. "There's my preppy girl." Her only response was Clarke's middle finger. "New York has changed you, I approve. I know you don't want to talk about it but for the record, we've always been friends Clarke, even before you two. We all grew up together, yes her and I are closer but I love you too. An email every now and again checking in doesn't cut it so you have a lot of making up to do!"

"I'm sure Raven will be throwing a party within the week. You would think being a rocket scientist would keep her busier."

"Right?" Anya agreed with a shake of her head. "Lets cut to the chase, who are we dating these days? Would I approve?"

"And I'm the preppy perky one?" Anya shrugged and waited for Clarke to tell her what she wanted to know. "His name is Mr. Brosnan and I just removed his appendix. He's 73 years old, has two children and 3 grandchildren and he says my eyes remind him of the sea. No not the ocean, the sea." Anya gave her a look that meant she was not impressed but that she secretly was.

"Is he rich?" There was the devilish smile Clarke loved so much.

"You know it." They burst out into a fit of laughter as they remembered their old high school days and how they used to talk about how much easier life would be if they just married a rich old guy.

"Anya?" They both locked eyes and immediately tried to stop laughing.

"Hey, Costia." She said as the other woman stepped up behind Clarke.

"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt, I just wanted to say hi."

Clarke finally turned around and she took pleasure in the way Costia's facial expressions changed. "You weren't interrupting. Hi, Costia." Her name came out strained even though Clarke had tried not to let it.

"Clarke." She said with a half smile. "Welcome back. I'll let you ladies get back to your coffee. Oh and Anya don't forget about the party on the 25th."

"Already in the calendar."

She was about to turn and leave until her head swiveled back around. "You should come Clarke, would you mind giving her the details A, I'm late to meet with a client."

"Sure will." Anya smiled and Clarke knew it to be the fakest smile Anya could muster. Once they were sure she was gone, they started laughing like school girls again.

"What the hell was that? A?"

It was Anya's turn to roll her eyes. "Fuck, I hate that she calls me that. I really have tried to like her Clarke but I can't, I can't stand her. 'Mind giving her the details?'" She mocked. "Yeah bitch, I do." Clarke bit her bottom lip as she tried not to laugh. "What?"

"Nothing, I just wasn't expecting that, I mean at all and then your reaction. By the way there is no way in hell I am going to that party."

"I just find her so weak. Don't get me wrong, she can be nice enough but I can't, I feel like I have a cavity every time she talks. But about that party, you may actually want to go. It's for Mrs. C's birthday."

Clarked laughed once again and it was clear to her that no matter how much time had passed some people picked up right where they left off. "I'll take her out for dinner afterwards. I'm not about to show back up like I never left. I did leave and I've come to terms with that and what I lost because of it."

"Your mom is going to be there and I'm sure everyone else would love to see you. You know she'll be late, I can text you and let you know her whereabouts. Think about it, please?" Clarke nodded with a heavy sigh. "Now back to the real question before we were so rudely interrupted. Does shit like that happen in New York? Running into your ex's current?" Clarke shook her head no this time. "Anyways, back on track. Name, and social insurance number."

"There's no one, I went on a couple dates about a year ago but no one can handle my schedule. So for now, career first and we'll see where life takes me. Besides don't you think Octavia already would have had every single detail about anyone?"

"True, and I hear her and I are going to be co-workers." Anya had decided to join the police force after University, it suited her hard ass personality.

"Frankly, that scares me. How about you, still with Gus because the last time I got on facebook and creeped it seemed like maybe there was a ring on the horizon." Clarke wiggled her eyebrows.

Anya finished her drink as she scoffed. "Maybe one day but not any time soon but things are really good. Don't think I haven't see the pictures of you and that guy on your instagram either. I don't know who is he because he isn't tagged but he's decent looking, if you're into that."

"Who? There are a lot of hot men in New York, a lot of hot women too." Clarke watched as Anya picked up her phone, made a few taps and then showed Clarke a picture. "Jesus Christ Anya that's Bellamy."

"Wait that's Bellamy?" Clarke nodded. "And you two are just friends?"

"He's Octavia's brother! Why does everyone think there is something going on?"

Anya shook her head and held up a finger. "You have that rule… that you'd never date your friends siblings because it's too messy. I remember because we were trying to set you up with Monroe's sister."

"Golden rule, it's done me well. So you aren't going to get in shit for being here right?"

"He might be worth breaking that rule for, again if you're into that." Anya grinned with a shrug and a laugh, still shocked at who the guy turned out to be. "We aren't actually in high school anymore Clarke. Besides, I asked her, she said it was okay. Not that it would have stopped me either way. I'm proud of you. You left to discover yourself and become a doctor and now you're so much more. She won't say it to you and maybe it doesn't mean anything but she's proud of you too. I could tell when she was showing me the stitches. 'Oh my god, so Clarke is totally this amazing doctor and look how good these stitches are. Like she's cured cancer and everything.'" She mocked with an eye roll.

"For starters she has never sounded like that and for another, not cancer, not yet but I am great at my job. Cedar Sinai don't fly any resident out for nothin'." Her Brooklyn accent needed work but to a non New Yorker it sounded decent.

"She sounds like that when she talks about you."

"When she used to talk about me, now she hates me."

The gears were moving behind Anya's eyes. "Wait, rewind, they flew you out?"

"Not to toot my own horn but yes. They want me as one of their attendings next year. No I haven't made a decision yet, I really do love New York but we'll see, it wasn't something I could pass up."

"Always an over achieving smart ass."

 **XOXO**

"You are the biggest fucking dumb ass this world has ever met!"

Lexa shook her head as she answered her phone without getting the chance to say 'hello'. "What did I do this time?"

"You ruined a perfectly good relationship because you suddenly became insecure. She wasn't cheating on you dip shit but that's all I'm going to say on the subject because otherwise I'll verbally berade you for at least an hour and I don't have time for that."

"I take it you just had coffee with Clarke."

"You're damn right. I missed that woman, did you know that she really is a bad ass doctor and me mocking her for being a bad ass doctor now makes me seem like the ass?"

Lexa shook her head as she rubbed her temple with her hand that was free. "It seemed like she was doing. You always sounded like an ass, now can I get back to my work since I know you aren't about to tell me anything about your cryptic message."

"Be gone." Was all Anya said before Lexa heard a click on the other end of the line. She tried not to think too much about what Anya had said because she knew it would only hurt her head.

 **XOXO**

 _4 Years Ago_

 _Octavia told her exactly where Clarke would be but she had texted her girlfriend just in case she changed her mind. It tended to happen when she was at work and didn't have any concrete plans. She felt like the ring was burning a hole in her purse but she had it all planned out in her head. She had asked Abby, her parents, Raven and Octavia and not one person had said no or hesitated in promptly hugging her._

 _"_ _You can do this Lexa, you're a ruthless warrior in the court room, you got this." She kept repeating the same line to herself for at least four blocks. She probably should have taken a cab was she was just too nervous. Clarke was as career driven as she was and she didn't want anything to lead either of them off course. When it got to the point that making Clarke her wife was all she could think about, she knew she had her decision. She was going to surprise her at dinner, then take a walk through central park to where they showed old movies on a projector. She maybe made a few calls to make sure that the movie being played tonight was 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. Finally when everyone had cleared out of the park she'd slip the box over for Clarke to open only to find it empty. At which point she'd be on bended knee holding the ring up._

 _She had thought about it for so long that she was seriously starting to doubt herself. Then the rain started and she tried to ignore it and not take it as a bad sign. She was a block from the restaurant so there was no point in her hailing a cab._

 _Looking at her phone and then up again she realized she was at the right address and waited to cross the street. Then she felt her heart break into a million tiny pieces. Outside the restaurant Clarke was hugging a tall guy with curly black hair. It wasn't just any hug, as he started twirling her around before placing her back on the group and kissing her. It was a brief kiss but Lexa would know Clarke's smile anywhere, in any lighting and Clarke was smiling bigger than Lexa had seen in what felt like months._

 _The tears fell down her face, there was nothing she could do to hold them. She couldn't believe this, she didn't want to believe it. She couldn't breath, she couldn't see straight, all that she knew was that she was in more pain that she ever had been. In that moment she would have rather jump into a bed full of needles then deal with the pain in her chest. She was frozen in place as she watched the pair get into a cab after the man held the door open for her. Once her feet finally started listening to her brain she left and she never looked back._

 **TBC…**

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for the love of this fic, I'm honestly in love with writing it and that hasn't happened in a very long time for me so it makes me so happy that you all like it too. I have to admit the hate for Costia has made my night even though I'm not intentionally writing her that way, I think it's great that's how she's being received.**

Also please feel free to drop me a line if there's any particular flash backs you want to see and if I'm not already planning them I'll do my best to get them in.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Hey, where are you off to so late dressed like that?" Costia asked as she walked into the kitchen of Lexa's condo and noticing that Lexa was wearing baggy USC sweat pants and a matching sweater, her hair was up in a bun. She had one headphone dangling down so Costia picked it up and held it up to her ear. "What is with your obsession with RnB and old stuff."

Lexa rolled her eyes with a laugh as she took her headphone back. "I'm going to the gym, for starters because I can't sleep and it's Motown, not old stuff. I love the classics, you know a little groove." She bounced her shoulders with the beat in her ear but instead of joining her Costia grabbed a yogurt from the fridge, kissed her cheek.

"It's old stuff, have fun at the gym even though I've barely seen you all week."

"I'm sorry, I know I've been busy but I promise to make it up to you this weekend."

Costia nodded as went to sit on the counter. "Off my counter woman!" Lexa shook her head as Costia rolled her eyes before getting down.

"Yes Commander."

"You know the rules only Anya can call me that, and sometimes Raven."

Costia opened her yogurt and looked down at it before looking back up at Lexa. "Speaking of Anya I really don't think she likes me. I mean it's been years and she still barely looks at me."

"That's just Anya, I told you that."

"Maybe so but she has coffee with Clarke." Lexa looked up from her gym bag with a questioning look. "I ran into her and she was having coffee with Clarke."

Lexa stood up and kissed her girlfriends forehead. "Don't read into it, they've been friends since we were young. You have to remember that we all grew up together in a really small community where everyone pretty much knows everyone. Anya likes you, like I said it just takes her awhile."

Costia reached out to pull Lexa closer by her sweater but instead it caused Lexa to pull back. "No pulling on old faithful, if this thing rips, I'll probably cry."

"I'll never understand why you love that old thing so much, it's so faded. I can buy you a new one you know."

Lexa nodded. "I know but we've been through too much together. Long nights studying, running across campus to get to the library before it closes. Lots of adventures. I'll be back eventually, but don't wait up. Love you."

"I love you too." Costia said as she heard the front door close.

 **XOXO**

Clarke was certain she was one of the only people on the planet who went to the gym after a 6 hour surgery. Surgeries just made her feel so alive, the adrenaline it caused her needed to be worked off somehow so even though it was an ungodly hour of night she decided a good run would do her some good.

When she walked into the 24 hour gym she was disappointed so see that it was still busy. She wasn't exactly the most athletic person in the world. She used to try and surf but she was never any good at, hence her near death surfing experience. It was Octavia that got her into power walking and running because she 'needed a partner in crime fighting'. After changing she put her headphones in and wrapped her ipod around her bicep in it's holder.

She stretched briefly before going over to the treadmills and putting on her favourite work out playlist. She found that the only way she could really work out for any length of time was if she could mentally sing a long to every song on the list. So she compiled some of her favourites and now it was a main stay on her ipod.

She had been lightly jogging on the treadmill for about a half an hour, just long enough to build up a little sweat when she saw someone get on the treadmill next to her out of the corner of her eye. She didn't bother looking over, she just liked to be aware of her surroundings, for a surgeon she was a bit of a klutz so she liked to be extra careful.

Her head moved slightly with the beat of the music as she tried to fight the urge to start singing out loud. It wasn't that she was embarrassed or ashamed but she found that people tended to not want to hear it at the gym. Sure enough as she was lost in her thoughts she knocked her water bottle out of its holder without really noticing, too caught up in the song that was playing.

"Excuse me miss, I think you dropped this." Clarke kept running, not hearing that she was being spoken too. It wasn't until she felt a gentle tap on her arm that she was brought out of her focus. Taking a single ear bud out she turned her head as she kept running.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." The other person looked up and Clarke tried extra hard to stay on her treadmill.

"I said I think you dropped this."

"You have got to be kidding me." Clarke rolled her eyes. "I swear this city is not big enough! Thank you." She finally said as she shook her head at herself and took the water bottle.

"Your welcome Clarke." Lexa looked away as she got back onto her treadmill, the only free one left in the entire gym. It crossed her mind that she should just leave, Clarke had been there first and it was clear they didn't want to be around each other.

Clarke put her water bottle back in the holder before she finally took notice of what the Lexa had been wearing. Without spending any more time thinking about she turned her attention back to her workout. Turning off the machine she wiped it down before moving to another part of the gym. Only in this state would she run into Lexa more than she liked. It was as though she just couldn't shake the woman, life clearly hated her.

A half hour later Clarke was in the change room packing her bag back up and changing back into her scrubs. She turned around to leave and smacked right into a body. "I'm sorry." They both said in unison as Clarke took a step back.

"Working late?" Lexa asked as she moved aside so Clarke could pass her.

"Yes, you shouldn't be working out on your leg yet." It was barely cordial but at least it was something.

"Clarke wait, are you walking back to the hospital at this hour?" Lexa asked as she noticed the direction that Clarke was leaving the building from. The blonde nodded. "You shouldn't be walking alone in this city at night, the crime rate keeps rising."

"Noted but I'll be fine, I'm from a bigger city than this one. Have a nice night." With that Clarke started to walk down the street after putting her headphones back in. The street was empty even though the gym had been busy so even though the hospital was in the opposite direction of her apartment she walked quietly behind Clarke. She could faintly hear her hum whatever song it was that she was listening to and it wasn't until they got three blocks from the hospital that she finally turned around. Anger on her face. "Seriously, do you not have anything better to do than follow me? You have doctors orders to stay off your leg, walking ten blocks on it, isn't staying off it, especially after working out. I mean it's bad enough you're wearing my sweater, you don't need to escort me around too. If I wanted to be around you, I would have called." She wasn't trying to be rude, it was just too hard for her to be near the other woman and seeing her in her sweater made a lot of memories flood her mind.

 **XOXO**

5 Years Ago

 _Lexa yawned as she unlocked her front door but stopped as soon as it was open. She could faintly hear the sounds of the Temptations playing. She quietly took her shoes off and moved further into the house. The only explanation she had was that she had left the radio on while she was studying but she thought she had turned it off when she went to get herself a coffee. Her parents were away on a vacation so she had the big house all too herself. It was going to be a long night of studying and she hadn't been able to get a hold of Clarke was hours so she was pretty certain that the other woman was at the hospital so she had turned the radio on to help her focus._

 _She stopped dead in her tracks as she finally made her way into her kitchen and saw a petite blonde sitting on the counter eating right from the tub of ice cream. She was frozen in shock, scared that if she moved she'd wake up from the dream she thought she was in._

 _Clarke grinned as she continued to eat her ice cream. She knew Lexa was stunned behind her and she was incredibly proud of herself for pulling off this surprise. "No love love, don't come easy, but I keep waiting, anticipating for that soft voice to talk to me at night. For some tender arms to hold me tight, I keep waiting, I keep on waiting but it ain't easy, it easy but momma said you can't hurry love." She sang through a mouthful of ice cream as she swayed back and forth from where she remained seated on the counter._

 _Lexa couldn't help the smile that took over her features as she moved towards the woman sitting on her counter. "Do I need to call the police?"_

" _And tell them what?" Clarke asked, her mouth still full of ice cream._

Lexa stood in front of her girlfriend. "And tell them that someone is stealing my ice cream!"

" _That's fine I'll just tell them someone stole my sweater so this made us even."_

" _You broke into my house."_

 _Clarke shook her head with a grin. "It's not breaking and entering if I used a key, a key your parents gave me since this is technically their house. Besides if I really wanted to do you harm I know exactly how to kill you and make it look like an accident." She stuck her legs out and wrapped them around Lexa's waist bringing her as close as she could before giving her a spoonful of ice cream. They got lost in the others eyes as Clarke finally put the ice cream down and wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck before kissing her softly. God she had missed what that felt like. "Mmm, much better than ice cream."_

" _You didn't tell me you were coming."_

" _Believe me, when I'm coming you'll know it." Clarke wiggled her eyebrows as she moved her hands down Lexa's back and tapped her on the butt causing Lexa to shake her head._

" _I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for you baby. But I don't know about that, cause there's many times that we've loved and we've shared love and made love. It doesn't seem to me like it's enough. It's just not enough." Lexa mouthed the words into the spoon she took out of the ice cream as the song changed. She backed out of Clarke's grip and started dancing around the kitchen, using the spoon as a microphone. Instead of getting up Clarke leaned her hands back on the counter and watched her girlfriend dance around like a fool. This was exactly why she came home and exactly what she had needed._

 _After another minute Lexa waved her over and the blonde knew that when her girlfriend was in this kind of a mood it was best if she just went along with it. So she finally hopped off the counter and started dancing around with the other woman. Both of them in sweat pants and hoodies, reminiscent of what their nights in university had been like. Lexa wrapped one arm around Clarke's waist as she held the spoon in her other hand._

" _You smell like me." Clarke whispered once the song finally changed._

" _Just the way I like it."_

 _Clarke shook her head. "But I like when you smell like you, even though my sweater does look pretty damn good on you."_

" _It always has. How long to I have you for?"_

" _One whole week." Lexa's eye lit up._

" _Really?" Clarke nodded as she felt herself being lifted and spun around. "Good thing my parents are on vacation, I don't even care about the case I have to work on now."_

" _One, you still need to do your work and two, I know, we sort of set it up that way."_

" _They were in on this?"_

 _Clarke smiled. "They may have been tired of you moping around like a sad puppy."_

" _I don't mope."_

" _You mope." Lexa pouted before they were brought of their playful argument by the sound of Lexa's phone ringing. "Answer it."_

 _Lexa rolled her eyes. "Yes ma'am, so bossy." She moved over to the counter where she had set her coffee and phone down. "Hello." She put her phone on speaker and set it back down on the counter._

" _Lexa, where have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you, you were supposed to call me when you figured out your part of the case."_

" _Sorry Costia but I came home to a bit of a surprise." Her and Clarke continued to dance around the kitchen, trying to hold their laughter in._

" _A surprise? Is everything okay?"_

" _Everything is perfect, I'll definitely send you those notes by the morning right now, there is a beautiful woman standing in my kitchen that flew 3000 miles to see me." Before the other woman could get another word in, Lexa reached over and hit the end call button. She knew that she definitely wasn't going to be getting any more work done any time soon._

" _Somebody has a crush on you." Clarke teased. From the moment she had met Costia in Lexa's first year of law school she knew the other woman had developed a crush on her girlfriend. She couldn't blame her, she knew Lexa was as close to perfect as anyone could get, at least to her so if someone else saw that she couldn't get jealous, she could only smile because Lexa was hers._

" _She doesn't, she knows how in love I am with this blonde med student."_

" _Even though she lives on the other side of the country." Clarke asked jokingly._

" _Mhmm, she could live on mars and I would still love her, her only downfall is that she eats my ice cream."_

 _Clarke's eyes darkened. "I could eat something else too."_

 _Lexa raised one of her eyebrows, "perv."_

 _They both broke out into a fit of laughter. "You love it."_

" _I do."_

" _As much as I love you in my sweater, I think it's time for me to get you out of it."_

 _Lexa didn't hesitate before picking her girlfriend up. "No objections here."_

TBC…

 **A/N: Only a small filler chapter while I set some bigger things up. Hopefully I'll have more soon, until then, lots of love and take care.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"You ran into her at the gym? I mean the fact you were at the gym to begin with is hard to believe." Clarke threw the grape she was about to eat at her Octavia.

"I will get my mom to kick you out!"

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "She wouldn't, she's never here, I swear if we didn't come and go I would have thought this house was abandoned."

"Anyways, she ended up following me to the hospital because it's not safe outside. I mean for someone who just decided they didn't want to be with me anymore and almost literally just up and left I don't understand why she wants to follow me around. I would expect her to run, literally run in the other direction."

"I know you aren't going to like this but I think it's pretty clear…Girl misses you, one look at you and she knew she fucked up. Cause Costia ain't got nothin' on you. Not only that, you guys were best friends. I used to dream of having what you had. She used to call you to tell you everything and not because you were her girlfriend but because you really were her best friend, you knew her better than anyone. I know it's her fault but that's gotta be hard. Lexa is a creature of habit, you and me don't work that way so we can't understand it. Remember that time you decided to 'take a break'?"

Clarke nodded. "Yeah, longest two weeks of my life."

"Exactly my point. You barely lasted two weeks without talking, multiply that by four years."

"She's moved on so none of this should matter and it infuriates me that the world hates me and wants to rub it in my face. Like I'm sorry what the fucking fuck did I do in this life to deserve this cosmic torture? I save people for a living, even people who I don't always think deserve it."

"Ever think maybe it's not your karma." With that Octavia stood up and walked outside to go for a run leaving Clarke alone with her thoughts.

XOXO

 _5.5 Years Ago_

 _"Maybe we should take a break then." Clarke had tears in her eyes as she held the phone to her ear. "I mean if you aren't happy and this isn't what you want then maybe we should. All I have ever wanted was for you to be as happy as you make me and if you aren't happy I will not hold you back from that no matter how much I love you."_

 _There was a long pause as Lexa processed what Clarke had said. The last couple years had been tough on them. Distance didn't make it easy, especially once you threw the rest of their busy lives on top of it. "Maybe we should."_

 _"So that's it then, call me when you're ready to talk Lexa because lately the only person you're talking to is Costia. Maybe you should give it a try with her." It didn't come out malicious or jealous, it was simply clear that Clarke was deflated._

 _"That's our problem, you keep saying that, every time we fight you say that."_

 _"And every time you say that and I say that you should look into why I feel that way. I have never been jealous, you know that. In fact I generally think it's hilarious when you get hit on because you come home to me. But you don't come home to me anymore Lexa, and I don't mean actually home before you make a smart ass comment about how it was me who chose a med school on the other side of the country. You go to school with her, I get that but you spend every other waking moment with her outside school. You've barely seen Anya and I know because she asked me what was going on. Take the time and figure it out Lexa, I know that I left and that maybe I deserve all of this for leaving but I had a plan before we got together and I promised my father that I would live up to that. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad or to justify my actions. I'm saying that because I'm proud of myself for sticking to my promise, to him and myself. Do what you need to do."_

 _"I'm sorry Clarke." Was all Lexa could think to say. She didn't want to be mad at her girlfriend for where she chose to went to school, she had encouraged it and she knew that it was the hardest on Clarke, being in a brand new place with brand new people._

 _"Me too." Was her only response before Lexa heard the phone click._

 _1 Week Later_

 _"You haven't talked at all, in a week?" Anya asked, eyes wide with shock._

 _Lexa looked down at the coffee she had barely touched. "Not even a single text message. I had a huge exam yesterday and she didn't say a word about it. She usually sends me a 'you'll kick this exam's ass' message and then an 'I'm proud of you no matter what but I'm sure that exam will show up in the E.R. for me to piece it back together because you beat it up so bad' message when it's done."_

 _Anya couldn't hold in her laughter. She knew her friends were huge nerds when it came to each other but she could literally picture Clarke's face as she typed or said those messages. "You miss her so pick up a phone."_

 _"This was my idea. I don't know what I was thinking. No one compares to her, sure as hell not Costia."_

 _"Lexa, I mean this in the best possible way. That girl is bad news for you because she's easy and she's here. She also has a huge lady boner for you."_

 _"Why do you all keep saying that? We're just friends."_

 _"You are her friend, she wants more than that whether she says it or not. Imagine how you would feel if Clarke had someone there that clearly was into her and you couldn't be there to take her to a movie, or to dinner."_

 _"She has Octavia." She argued._

 _Anya rubbed her temples. "Lexa, I love you, but we both know Octavia is as straight as an arrow. I'm only going to ask you this once. Do you think you may have feelings for Costia? I won't judge you, I'm asking for your sake because if you do you aren't being fair to yourself or to Clarke. I've got training but think about it."_

 _2 Weeks Later_

 _"Clarke's not here. She has a practical at the hospital." Octavia said as she opened the front door and grabbed her purse. "Do I need to hurt you?" She whispered as she pulled her gun out of her bag. Lexa shook her head, she really wasn't all that surprised that Octavia had a gun on her. "Good. I'm going to Lincoln's for the night, if I come home to her upset I won't keep my mouth shut anymore. It's your relationship and I don't want to get involved in it but she's become my family."_

 _"I appreciate that but I really hope she isn't upset because she's my family too, she's my person."_

 _"Good, Anya and Raven said you finally got your head screwed back on. But she really isn't here, she's at the hospital, I don't know when she'll back. I don't have all night Lex Luther, do you have your key or do you need mine?"_

 _Lexa dug into her pocket and pulled the key out. "I've got it."_

 _"I'm leaving then. Don't destroy my house if you end up having crazy wild make up sex." Lexa chuckled as she walked into the house and Octavia walked out, closing the door behind her._

 _It had been months since she had been in the apartment but it didn't seem like much had changed. Some new artwork, which she knew was Clarke's. She didn't know much about art but she had come to have an appreciation for it because of Clarke. She rolled her suitcase out front of Clarke's room but couldn't bring herself to bring it inside. She wasn't sure how Clarke was going to take her being there. She had wanted to get a hotel room but Anya had told her that that was stupid._

 _Taking a look down at her watch, she looked up the directions to the hospital Clarke worked at on her phone. If it was L.A. she would have walked but being so tired she figured she'd cab it over. Twenty minutes later she got out of the cab and walked across the street. It was rather cold out, especially for her since she wasn't used to the change in weather. She walked into the store and picked up a couple of things before walking into the hospital. She knew this was how Clarke usually left from the all the picture messages she would get so she took a seat in one of the chairs and waited._

 _People had come and gone, an hour had passed and still Clarke hadn't emerged. Lexa was about to text Octavia when she heard a familiar laugh. Looking up she saw the blonde step off the elevator with a few of her colleagues. A large grin on her face, even though she looked tired but Lexa figured they were all tired by the looks of them. Hearing her laugh sent chills up and down her spin. It was a sound she had taken for granted and even though it had only been two weeks she felt like she hadn't heard it in years. As she sat there waiting for her to get closer, she was sure that Clarke's laugh was one of her favourite sounds._

 _xoxo_

 _"Hey Clarke, who's the total babe?"_

 _"Maya, I know we're all sleep deprived but what the hell are you talking about?" She watched as the girl nodded her head towards the brunette that just stood up. Flowers and a coffee in her hand. "Why would you think I would know?"_

 _"Because she's looking at you like you're the only person in the room and the room isn't exactly empty. Plus she looks exactly like the girl that was the wallpaper on your phone, you know the one you talk about all the time."_

 _"I don't talk about her all the time." Her group of colleagues looked at her. "Okay, maybe I talk about her a little bit."_

 _"Go on, we'll see you later."_

 _Clarke shook her head, she was still mad and hurt. "We were all supposed to go celebrate though."_

 _"Look at us, please give us an excuse to go home and crash."_

 _She took a look around. "Okay, fine. I'll see you all later, get some rest."_

 _Taking a deep breath she finally looked up and Lexa who was standing still. Slowly, she took her first step towards the woman._

 _"Hi." Lexa said softly as she ran her fingers through her hair._

 _"Hi." Clarke motioned her head towards the nod as she started walking around. "What are you doing here?" She asked once they were outside and away from prying eyes._

 _"I wanted to congratulate you on finishing your exam."_

 _Clarke looked at the flowers in Lexa's arms. Orchids. Her favourite. "You could have called."_

 _Lexa looked down at the ground before looking back up with a shake of her head. "I was an idiot, I never should have suggested we take a break. A break from you is the last thing I ever want. When you didn't call or text me after my exam it hit me smack in the face. I was trying to be stubborn but I can't be stubborn with you. My life isn't the same without you in it. I understand where you're coming from about everything and you're right. And yes that's hard for me to say." She smiled as she saw Clarke shake her head with the cutest little laugh. "I don't want to waste anymore time being away from you, more than we have to be. Losing you scares me, I'm scared that you've got this new life and maybe you'll realize there isn't a place for me in it but it's irrational of me to take myself out of the equation if that's what I'm scared of. I have nightmares about you never coming home, that maybe this is your home now and someone is going to come along and sweep you off your feet. I know we have our own lives but you're the one I want to share it with. You make everything better, like my life is vanilla and you're the sprinkles."_

 _"You don't like sprinkles." Clarke said as she surprised Lexa and wrapped her arms around the woman's neck pulling her in for a tight hug. "More like strawberry sauce and cherries."_

 _Lexa inhaled deeply. "I promise to be more secure and more bad ass Lexa."_

 _Clarke pulled back and took her flowers out of Lexa's hands. "You've never been bad ass Callaway but you have to trust me. I know life is hard and I made it harder but please trust me."_

 _"I do trust you Clarke." They looked each other in the eye as goose bumps covered Clarke's arm from the way Lexa had said her name._

 _"Good, or I'll have to kick your ass."_

 _Lexa shook her head. "Octavia already threatened my life."_

 _Clarke shook her head and closed her eyes before looking at Lexa again. "Tell me she didn't pull the gun out."_

 _Lexa's eyes widened as she nodded her head. "She showed me the gun."_

 _"You've been warned." She smiled. "We still have a lot to talk about but let's go home so you don't freeze."_

XOXO

Clarke let out a yawn as she sat in the busy coffee shop. It wasn't her favourite one in Laguna but she also knew it wasn't Lexa's and that was good enough for her. It was harder than she expected to come back. Everything she passed reminded her of Lexa or them. All the memories she tried to bury for years were wanted to boil over and she just couldn't let them. The pain was still to real, even though she was sure after four years that it would have subsided.

She took her book out and began to sketch. She was trying to kill sometime until Octavia got home from training so they could go out. Normally she would have gone to the hospital but her mother had told her to take the day off and that she wasn't allowed a single step inside the hospital. Looking out the window she could see the ocean across the street and she'd be lying if she said she hadn't missed the view.

"I'm sorry can I sit here?" She looked up at the woman and her heart stopped, not again.

"Why me?" She said under her breath as Lexa's eyes widened in shock.

"Sorry, I didn't know it was."

Clarke shook her head and went back to her sketch. "It's fine." Her answer was dry but it was that or yelling at this point. "Are you going to stand there all day Lexa or are you going to sit."

Lexa gulped, she hadn't heard Clarke say her name in years. She closed her eyes as she sat down. She had to remain cool, calm and collected, she was not about to let Clarke know she affected her. "Thanks." She sat down and pulled out her iPad.

They sat in complete silence for a half an hour before Clarke couldn't take it anymore. "What are you doing in here?"

"Working." Lexa answered without bothering to look up from the screen in front of her.

"Why would you pick the busiest place in Laguna to get work done?"

"Why would you pick the busiest place in Laguna to sketch?" They still weren't looking at each other but they didn't have to, they knew the exact look on the other's face.

Clarke slammed her book shut, though it was barely audible since the coffee shop was so busy. "Because I was being respectful, not that you deserve it, but this is your home and I was being polite"

"If you want to drink coffee at the Beacher, drink your coffee at the Beacher. It's your favourite too, this was your home."

"Yeah, was but it's always been your home so continue about your normal routine. We both know we're going to run into each other but I can't avoid you if you keep switching what you do."

"How would you know what I do? You haven't been around in four years."

"And whose fault is that? Enjoy your work." With that Clarke grabbed her bag and stood up leaving Lexa alone to finish what she needed to get done. She truly hadn't meant to keep running into Clarke but like always she couldn't seem to avoid it.

XOXO

Later night Lexa pulled into her family driveway and shut her car off. Opening her car door she raised an eyebrow at her best friend who was standing against her own car. "What do you want? I'm tired."

Anya clearly didn't care, as she didn't budge. "Come on we're going down to the Hennessey's."

"I worked all day."

"I don't care, I've barely seen you and I want to go out."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Call Gus."

"He's working. Get changed, I'll meet you there in an hour. If you aren't there by then, shit will go down. Raven and I will make sure of that, especially since Octavia looks ready to kill you anytime your name is mentioned." Lexa's face was unchanging. "That doesn't scare you?"

Lexa shrugged and she moved towards her house. "It should but I got the whole, I have a gun thing years ago. Effect starts to wear off after awhile and I don't like you two talking by the way."

"You said it wise fine that I had coffee with Clarke."

"Not Clarke, you and Octavia."

Anya laughed. "We're technically co-workers so tough, see you in a bit. Look like less of a lawyer please, you scare people."

"Then I suppose you should wear a mask." Anya threw up her middle finger at her friend as she got into her car.

"One hour Lexa." She yelled as she pulled out of the driveway.

XOXO

Exactly fifty-five minutes later Lexa walked into the bar to the sounds of an acoustic guitar being played and some really bad vocals. "Fucking open mic night, really Anya." She cursed under her breath as she looked for her friend. Of course she wasn't there yet. She hated open mic nights, it reminded her of too much but Anya had been right, they really hadn't spent much time together recently.

"Boo." Lexa turned around after she ordered her drink and immediately wrapped her arms around her friend.

"How's it going Ray? I heard you were finally back from Texas."

Raven smiled and leaned across the bar ordering two drinks. "Yeah, I figured everyone here missed my good looks."

"Why, they had me?" Lexa shook her head as she sipped on her drink.

"Please ladies, they've always had me and let's face it, legs for days wins every time." They both shook their head at Anya.

"Double fisting already?" Lexa asked as Raven picked up the two drinks the bartender set on the table for you.

"Nope, that weird shit isn't mine, it smells like moonshine."

Octavia rolled her eyes as she stepped up behind Raven. "It's bourbon."

"I swear I didn't know she was going to be here." Anya leaned over and whispered in Lexa's ears as they heard someone start singing."

"We're gonna go get sit down, you ladies have a good night." Raven smiled as her and Octavia went back to their chairs.

"I felt this coming for a month or two, you don't look at me like you used to do. So when you leave it's gonna be too soon, give me a minute, while we're still in." They heard the male voice start singing again, neither Anya or Lexa paid much attention to it as they found a place to sit.

It wasn't until they heard a familiar female voice that their heads shot up. "Lie with me, hold me like you need it. Kiss me like you're lovin' only me tonight, make me feel like it ain't over. Go a little slower baby one last time. It ain't the truth's gonna set me free, come on, come on, lie with me." The sound of their guitars picked up as Lexa's mouth went suddenly dry. Looking over at her best friend she realized the woman looked mortified, she clearly had not planned this.

"That's him." Lexa swallowed as Anya looked over at her to see if her friend was okay. Lexa's attention was brought back to the stage when they heard Clarke's voice. "Go put your favourite Motown record on. Do what we need to feel it all night. Make me believe you ain't already gone, let's make our last time our best time. Lie with me, hold me like you mean it." Her voice captivated everyone in the room. It wasn't perfect and that's what made it so special. At the mention of Motown, Anya looked over at Lexa, she had clearly figured something out that Lexa hadn't. As she watched the two friends on stage she could see why Lexa would have gotten the idea she had but at least to her it was clear just how platonic the duo was.

Once the song was done the room erupted into the sound of cheers and clapping. Clarke laughed into the mic and shook her head as she adjusted her guitar on her lap. "You guys are too kind, I haven't done this sort of thing in years so thank you and it's been about that long since I wrote that song so I'm glad you liked it." As she got up to leave the group chanted one more.

Even Anya caught herself repeating the words with everyone else earning her a glare from her best friend. "What, she's good. I haven't heard her sing in awhile."

"Then have a bon fire. Ugh I need to permanently move to L.A."

"Knowing you too, you'll have to make it China."

Lexa rolled her eyes and finished her drink. "China it is."

Clarke started to strum her guitar again. "Oh hey, boy with your hat back, mmm I kinda like that. If you wanna walk my way, Imma shoot you straight up, show me what you're made of. I don't have time to waste on the boys that are playing the games, leaving the girls crying out in the rain. So tell me baby, do you got what it takes? If you're gonna hold me, hold me like I'm leaving. If you're gonna kiss me, kiss me like you need it. Baby if you're not your best get to leaving. If you're gonna love me, love me like you mean it. If your gonna talk the talk you better walk it. If you wanna keep me, keep me like you lost it. If you're gonna say and make me believe it, love me like you mean it."

The next time Lexa looked around the room she saw people started to stand and clap their hands in time with the beat. Looking back at Clarke, she saw the woman singing to the table in front of her and immediately noticed something she hadn't before. Talk dark and moody was wearing his hat backwards with a large grin on his face. "I'm sorry Anya, I gotta go."

"Hey sugar, where are you going so fast?" She was stopped by the feel of someone's hand on her arm.

Looking up she smiled at her girlfriend. "It's too crowded in here for me tonight, you should stay have fun though."

"No, I came looking for you. Your parents said you mentioned something about coming here. Want to go for ice cream and a walk?"

Lexa shook her head. "I kind of just want to go home and rest. I've had a long few days. What do you say we finish prepping for mom's birthday?"

Costia kissed Lexa's cheek. "That works, but why are you leaving so fast, who ever is singing isn't half bad for once."

Lexa stepped out of Costia's way so she could peer into the room. It took a minute but once the crowd broke she nodded. "She's everywhere, I can get you a restraining order if you want."

"Not necessary. Like I said this is her home too."

"New York is home, she left her home here, she left you here. So this isn't her home anymore."

Lexa fought the urge to argue with girlfriend because she knew it would just be a fight and she just wasn't up for one of those at the moment. "Can we go home please?"

Costia nodded as she linked arms with Lexa. "Home, we go. I'll drive since you smell like tequila."

"I didn't drive here anyways, so sounds good and blame Anya for the tequila." She really had to find a way to avoid Clarke because as much as she wanted to be civil if she was going to parade around town with him of all people she didn't know how civil she could keep it.

 **TBC…**

 **A/N: Since it seems to be the new thing I now have a tumblr, that I really don't know how to use but if you want feel free to stop by, say hi or ask me question about this fic or any other my others. Blog handle is... faithangel_3 (I clearly really like changing things up) Until next time... Cheers.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Anya, why are you sitting over there? Get your sexy ass over here." Raven said as she walked by her friend.

"I was with Lexa but she left." Her tone was dry and it was clear that she wasn't impressed with her friend so she stood up and followed Raven over to the table her other friends were sitting at.

"Lexa ditched her, so she's hanging with us now."

Clarke took another sip of her drink, she definitely needed it." Lexa was here?"

Anya nodded. "Nice song though, write it about anyone special?" She smirked at her friend.

"You know, I think I need another drink." In the blink of an eye Clarke was up at the bar as Bellamy sat down in her place.

"Anya, this is my brother Bellamy, Bell this is Anya."

Bellamy smiled as stuck his hand out. "It's nice to meet you, princess has told me some good stories about you all."

Anya's eyes narrowed as she shook his hand firmly. Raven laughed at Anya not saying anything. "I see you've met my brother." Octavia laughed as she sat down between the two of them.

"What brings you to town?" She didn't mean to be sound like she was interrogating him but it was part of her job to find out the truth and as much as she knew Clarke wasn't into Bellamy, she didn't know if that worked both ways. "And princess?"

"Ugh, really Bell! Anya does not need anyone's help in coming up with nicknames."

"Yeah, Bell, besides mine is better, right Clarke Kent!"

Anya couldn't help but laugh. "Clarke Kent? As in superman? This one?"

Octavia shook her head with a laugh as Clarke sat down next to Anya and Raven. "Clarke Kent, as in the reported, because she's all creative with her painting. But technically she is a superhero, she does save lives for a living."

Clarke tilted her head slightly with a large grin on her face. "Octavia Blake, did you just compliment me?"

"I'm living in your house, consider the compliment, rent money." They all laughed as Clarke shook her head with an eye roll. "My nicknames are always spot on, especially considering the other one. Sorry I know she's your best friend but I got that one right."

Anya looked over at her curiously. "Do not tell her, because she will start calling her that." Clarke warned.

"I won't, come on, what is it." Anya was interested now, she had briefly met Octavia before but she was really starting to like her.

"Lex Luther." Octavia said with a smug shrug, as she leant back in her chair, taking her beer with her.

They all waited in suspense for Anya's reaction. "Nope, Clarke was right, I'm definitely calling her that from now on."

Most people would be mortified at that revelation but Octavia loved it. She couldn't physically harm Lexa so she figured her best friend making fun of her would have to do.

"I really hate hanging out with women. I swear one minute I'm being asked a question, twenty minutes later I still haven't said a word." Bellamy joked with a shake of his head, he had gotten used to female banter.

"Not to worry Bellamy, I didn't forget about my questions. You should answer them now."

He gulped, and took a drink. "I'm in the National Guard so I move around a lot but I had some time off so I decided I'd visit my annoying sisters." Anya was about to ask about whom the third Blake sibling was until she saw Clarke and Octavia both flip him off. "Oh and princess because I used to call her Malibu princess but that got to long."

"She's not even from Malibu idiot." Raven rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I know, which is why it would piss her off even more." He grinned.

Anya shook her head. "God, you three really do act like siblings. You did always want those Clarke, guess you found the cream of the crop." She drank her beer with a raised eyebrow.

"I like your sarcasm," Octavia noted as they went back to talking about Clarke. "I'm confused, if you all went to high school, middle school and all the schools together, how did you and she who shall not be named not start dating sooner?"

"Oh, I got this one." Raven grinned as she put her drink down.

"I'll fill in whatever you miss." Raven gave Anya an agreeing nod.

"We've all always been friends for the most part but that's because Anya, me and Raven used to be neighbours growing up. Anya is best friends with Lexa, which you know but that didn't happen 'til about middle school. Lexa always had a different group of friends, same general crowd though. So Clarke and her were cool with each other but they didn't really, really know each other. We all went to the same parties, same events, our parents were all friends too but they just never hung out just the two of them."

"Except that one time, senior year on the boat cruise." Anya added. "We ended up getting a little too drunk off of Monty's moonshine and they ended up having to sneak us back into our houses."

"Not an easy feat, for mere mortals." Octavia and Bellamy let out a light chuckle at Anya's pleased expression with the description. "Then they ended up being in the same class at USC."

Clarke set her empty glass down on the table. "And the rest you are well aware of."

"Is she though?" Raven asked with a questioning glare. "Because she looked mighty confused as to why Lexa left."

"Yeah Clarke, what are you not telling me?"

Bellamy stood up. "I'm getting another round, don't worry princess, I got you." She gave him a thumbs up.

"When did she tell you they had their first moment?"

"In class, about some quiz."

Raven and Anya both let out boisterous laughs. "Seriously Clarke, you did her that dirty? Didn't even tell the girl about your first date?"

"I did, we had wings and wine in my dorm room."

Raven shook her head. "No sweetie that wasn't your first date, even Anya agrees. We all know why Lexa left tonight and it wasn't just because you were here. She clearly doesn't have a problem being in the same room as you as evidenced by the hospital, the gym, and the café."

"I'll save you the trouble Clarke, I'll tell it. Lexa told me everything about that night in pain staking detail, more than once."

"You and I will talk about you leaving things out, later!"

 **XOXO**

 _Freshman Year – USC_

 _Lexa had been exhausted from her first couple weeks of university. Everyone had told her that it was a different environment but she hadn't realized how true her family and friends had been. She thankfully had a single room on campus but she found herself almost missing the craziness of having more people around. It was hard to focus in dead silence, and even music wasn't helping. So she decided to do what any responsible young adult would do, she found the nearest coffee house with wifi that was just off campus, ordered something with high levels of caffeine and attempted to read her book. She really needed to finish reading this book._

 _That is at least, until she realized that she had just walked in on an open mic night. She only thanked her luck that she had chosen a place off campus so she probably wouldn't run into any of her classmates._

" _Hey everyone I'm Clarke and, I don't usually do this outside of bon fires, so you may want to get ear plugs ready." Lexa's head shot up from her book. Had the voice just said her name was Clarke because it definitely sounded like Clarke. As Lexa peered around the people that were blocking her view of the stage she felt her heart stop and then speed up really up quickly as the blonde on stage began to sing. It took a minute to realize what song the girl was singing because of how quiet the mic was but Lexa was impressed._

" _I like the way you work it no diggity." Lexa watched as Clarke sang, her blonde hair hung over one shoulder, wavy like she just spent a day at the beach, and her voice, god she hadn't realized how raspy it was before. She also happened to sing one of Lexa's favourite songs, and surprisingly didn't butcher it. As she finished the song Lexa clapped along with everyone else. She sat mesmerized as she watched the blonde navigate across the bar, smiling at people who told her she had sounded good._

 _In that moment she scolded herself for not realizing sooner just how beautiful Clarke Griffin was. They had grown up together, their parents had been friends for a long time and yet she never saw her the way she did right then and there in the little café. There was suddenly something very sexy and elegant about her all the same time._

" _Lexa?" Looking up from trance she smiled at her high school friend. "Second time in less than a week. Here I thought it was a pretty big school." Clarke laughed as she took in Lexa's appearance. Jeans and hoodie, it all fit her so perfectly that in Clarke's opinion it was sexier than any of the little dresses she had ever seen Lexa wear before._

" _Hey, you're awesome. I didn't realize you were that good." Lexa grinned as she motioned for Clarke to sit down in the empty chair next to hers._

 _Clarke laughed and Lexa heard it differently than she heard before, maybe it was the lack of sleep or maybe it was this quaint café, but whatever it was she liked it. "It's probably because you're sober but that doesn't make sense because most things are better drunk."_

" _Like the time you filled Monty's hot tub with bubble bath?" Lexa questioned as Clarke made a shocked face._

" _Me? I would never! But who told you it was me?"_

 _Lexa shook her head with a laugh. "No one, I was walking home from Anya's and I saw you and Raven with the bottle, might I add that it was empty."_

" _We had to recycle it, Raven would have had a fit. His parents still to this day, thought it was him." There was a pause but it wasn't uncomfortable, neither felt as though they needed to fill the silence. "Okay, I gotta know, did you come here to read or to get up there?" She tilted her head towards the stage with a grin._

" _To read, I didn't realize it was open mic night because I definitely can not sing."_

" _But you can rap." Lexa's eyes widened in shock "Seems as though we both know secrets about the other."_

" _I will kill Raven or Anya, which one of them was it?"_

 _Clarke shook her head. "No bloodshed this time. I was dropping something off at your place one day and I may have heard you. To be fair your mom told my mom to tell me, to let myself in because she didn't think you'd be home. Seemed like you were having a good time studying though."_

" _It's a talent."_

" _I'd say. Makes sense why Anya calls you the Commander."_

 _Lexa groaned, her book long since forgotten about. "I will never, ever live that down."_

" _For a second I thought you were going to say that we are never ever getting back together."_

" _I would use way better Taylor Swift lyrics."_

" _Are you flirting with me Callaway?" Clarke grinned widely as she peered at Lexa with a long that could only be described as the cutest sexy Lexa had ever seen._

 _The brunette let out a laugh as she leaned her head back against the chair. "Are you flirting with my Griffin?"_

 _Clarke pondered if for a minute, moving her head from side to side, trying to hold back the smile. "I think an innocent by-stander would consider this flirting." Clarke gave Lexa her signature raised eyebrow with a wink. "Is that enough to get you to go up on there and show this place who Laguna's next best rapper is, with the sickest flow."_

" _No." She shook her head with a laugh._

" _Too much smolder?" Clarke smiled, her heart starting to speed up at the way Lexa laughed._

" _Nope, I think it was the right amount. The wink is a nice touch. Since you asked, I need to as well. What made you go up there?"_

 _Clarke shrugged her shoulders. "Seemed like fun, I haven't been out much yet and I figured I needed to put myself out there in some way. Move past my comfort zone and take life by the horns."_

" _That sounds like something that came out of Raven's mouth."_

" _It did but she's right. New city, new school, might as well live it up while I still can. In four years I'll be headed off to med school at Columbia or Yale. Does Yale have a med school?"_

 _Again Lexa shrugged. "You know, I have no idea." She reached down and picked her book, she really did need to read._

" _I'm sorry, I'm distracting you. I'll let you get back to it. You have my number, give me a call sometime."_

 _Lexa watched as Clarke's back turned and something snapped inside of her without her realizing it. "You don't have to leave unless you were planning on it anyways." Clarke shook her head. "Then please, sit."_

 _An hour later, Lexa hadn't read much of her book, she tried she just couldn't get into it. Clarke had silently watched people go up on stage as if it was the most amusing thing on the planet, it wasn't but Lexa found looking at Clarke was. She really had no idea what came over but as the night started to wind down she saw Clarke yawn out of the corner of her eye. "Think you got one last song in you?"_

" _Hmm?" Clarke moved her head to look at Lexa as she sipped on her coffee that clearly wasn't doing her much good._

 _Lexa smiled and set her book on the table. I'll be right back." Clarke nodded in her half asleep daze as Lexa walked away. Clarke figured Lexa was going to the washroom, that is until she heard someone pick up the microphone and turn it on. The minutes the words started flowing her gaze was fixed on the stage in front of her. Lexa was standing on stage in her black skinny jeans, the perfect over sized hoodie, glasses sitting on top of her head. Clarke couldn't help but laugh at the view in front of her._

" _I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe. If your girl steps up I'm smackin' the ho. Words to your moms, I came to drop bombs. I got my rhymes than the Bible's got psalms. And just like the prodigal son I've returned. Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned. Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none. So if you come to battle bring a shotgun. But if you do you're a fool cause I duel to the death. Try and steps to me you'll take your last breath. I got the skill come get your fill. Cause when I shoot to give, I shoot to kill. I came to get down, I came to get down so jump out your seats and get done. Jump, Jump, Jump, everybody jump."_

 _By the last chorus everyone was out of their seats and jumping around, even the barista was bobbing her head to the beat as Lexa rapped it effortlessly, like she was born with insanely good flow._

 _When she finally got back to the table a few minutes later, she smiled at the way Clarke was looking at her. "That, that was impressive, I can't lie. I think you have a following now."_

" _You know it, but I figured it was the least I could do since you kept me company all night. It's weird not having as many people around."_

" _Agreed but no need for thanks you saved me from the creeper, left side of the bar. Lexa pretended to sit before she sat down as she scanned the bar for the person Clarke had mentioned._

" _You are so very welcome because no, no don't ever let yourself get that desperate."_

" _Aren't you actually going to sit down?"_

 _Lexa slowly shook her head, she really didn't want to leave but she knew she probably should, it was 1 a.m. and she couldn't hold sleep off much longer. "I need my bed, so badly, I've been cheating on her and I told her I'd be home tonight. Gotta stick to my word."_

" _That you do, especially with your bed and because it sounds serious."_

" _I'll see you in class tomorrow?" Lexa picked her book up off the table in front of the chair she was sitting at and threw it into her bag._

 _Clarke yawned once again. "I think sleep might be a good idea, and I should be there as long as I don't sleep through my alarm."_

" _I hope for my sanity you don't. I can only take the sound of that Prof's voice for so long."_

" _I'll try to save you."_

 _It was Lexa's turn to wink, "did you want to maybe come over some time, to study? Or we can watch a movie, relax, whatever." The rambling was starting and Lexa knew that that was a bad sign but the way Clarke smiled at her question eased her nerves._

" _That sounds really good actually, you supply the pizza, I'll supply the wine?"_

" _It's a date." The words fell out of Lexa's mouth before she could even think about what she was saying._

" _And I'm the flirt." Clarke laughed with a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes._

 **TBC…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"What's up Lex Luther?" Anya asked as she walked into Lexa's kitchen? "I was surprised to see your car in the drive way."

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her friend who now sat on her counter. "I take it you met Octavia last night. My mom is going to kill you, get off her counter, and I have the day off because I need to make some international phone calls later today."

Anya nodded as she opened the bottle of water Lexa threw at her. "I like that girl, she's funny and you used to let Clarke Kent sit on the counters all time. Plus I've been sitting on this here counter for years, can't break old habits."

"Quiet with that, Costia is sleeping."

Even though she knew she shouldn't Anya burst out into a fit of laughter. "I can't believe you don't let her sit on the counter. It's a comfy counter. When are you going to realize that you don't like it because it reminds you of someone else and not for the sanitary reasons you claim." Anya yawned and shook her head when she finished talking.

"How late did you stay out?"

Anya shrugged. "We had fun, you should have stayed, it was like old times. Raven is throwing a party at the club next week for everyone. Monty and Jasper are coming home from god only knows where so it'll be the first time we've all been back at the same time."

"A party? Do you know how busy I am?" Lexa looked at her best friend as she took a bite of the apple she grabbed out of the fridge.

"A party sounds like fun though." Anya looked up to see Costia walk up behind Lexa and wrap her arms around her waist. "Please?"

Lexa shot Anya a look, she clearly knew exactly what her best friend was thinking and that it consisted of a rude 'you weren't invited'. "Yeah Lex Luther, a party sounds like fun."

"Lex Luther?" Costia asked.

Lexa shook her head. "An old friend used to call me that but I don't think it's a good idea. I don't want to parade around Clarke."

"Is that why we've barely gone out since she's been home, because you don't want to 'parade' our relationship around? Christ Lexa it's been four years, she cheated on you remember? Why should you have to hide around?"

Anya took that as her cue to leave. She silently got down off the counter and waved her arm in the air. She definitely didn't want to be around for that fight, except she sort of did but she knew Lexa would kill her if she pulled out some popcorn and started watching.

"I'm not hiding around, we have our life Costia, but that doesn't mean I want to make this harder for everyone. I don't want to fight with her and I've been trying really hard to make it cordial and then you went and invited her to my mom's birthday party without even asking me. You weren't doing it to be nice, you were trying to stick it to her."

"Is that what Anya said?" Costia folded her arms across her chest. "She doesn't like me, she's never going to like me but she sure as hell loves Clarke. She came in here talking about how awesome it was and how great Clarke is. Some best friend."

Lexa closed her eyes, trying to swallow all the things she wanted to say. "I get it, you're upset, it's hard for you that she's back but I told you when we got together and I'm saying it again Clarke and I are done but we have a mutual life. We've always run in the same circles, me trying to be nice to her is to show you that I'm over it. It's me trying to be a supportive girlfriend. I'm sorry that you're taking me not wanting to parade us around as something more but it's not. It's called courtesy. Her mom is here, most of her friends are here and I don't want us to be the reason she turns down a great job opportunity."

"So it's not because you're ashamed of us?"

"No, it's not because I'm ashamed of us, it's just difficult to explain. We have a lot of history and I know you know a lot of it but not all of it. She's like a second daughter to my parents, especially after her dad died so while her and I weren't close back then, they have that relationship and I know that that's something that's important to her. I'm trying to be an adult about all of this. What's really going on?"

"You let Anya sit on the counter. You used to let her sit on the counter. I remember how quickly you used to answer the phone if she called, or how you'd ignore my calls if you were with here."

"We were in a long distance relationship, we barely had us time together so when we did we tried to make the most of it. I was a kid, I didn't have the same responsibility I do now. People change, I'm not the same person I used to be, I got hurt really badly but is all this really about people sitting on the counter, because Anya does it to annoy me."

Costia turned around as a tear fell from her eye. "I used to have the biggest crush on you, and I used to think you were the perfect girlfriend, the perfect person but you're so different with me than you are with her."

Lexa exhaled, she was never going to win this battle. She didn't think she was that different but she had grown up, she had changed. Her life wasn't the same. She moved behind her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. "That's because you're different people, yes I loved her once and there will always be a place in my heart for her because of all the history. I care about her life but I'm not in love with Clarke Griffin anymore. I love you Cos and I'm sorry that I didn't realize how hard her being back here was on you. I know how hard you have tried with Anya and you have to know how much I love that about you but Anya will be Anya."

Costia nodded as she turned around in Lexa's arms. "She cheated on you and hurt you so bad. It broke my heart to watch that happen to you and Anya acts like nothing happened, like it was okay. It bothers me that she's all chummy with someone who hurt you so badly."

"I appreciate that you're being protective but you don't know their relationship or understand it and neither do I. It's between them it really doesn't bother me that they're still friends. I would never expect Anya to take sides.

"You still stick up for her, you make excuses for her now the same way you did back then."

Lexa back away and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm not making excuses I'm calling it exactly how it is. I don't know why you do this, you compare yourself and our relationship to Clarke. I'm not dating Clarke, I'm dating you. You don't have to remind me that she cheated on me, I'm well aware. I can't do this with you right now, you need to figure out if you can get over my past, when you decide let me know. I'm going down to the beach, I don't know how long I'll be."

With that Lexa walked towards the door, picked up her small bag and exited her house before Costia could say another word.

XOXO

" _What's wrong Lexi?"_

 _Lexa inwardly groaned, she hadn't that nickname but was far to polite to say anything about it. "Waiting for Clarke to call, we were supposed to talk tonight but it doesn't look like that's happening."_

" _Everything okay in paradise?" Costia asked as she sat down next to her friend and now colleague._

" _I honestly don't know. Sometimes I think I hold her back and I don't want to. I want her to be free, I don't want to be the person that stops her from accomplishing her goals and her dreams. I just miss her and I know it is so stupid but sometimes I'm not sure she feels the same._ "

" _She'd be a fool not too." Lexa looked over at her friend with a sad smile. "I hate to say this but you deserve better than that. You deserve so much more than she's giving you. To be honest it seems like she's started a new life and left you in this one and I know that's not what you want to hear."_

 _Lexa shook her head, she really didn't want to believe that. "I think I'm being crazy and over dramatic. She's worried that you have this secret crush on me and maybe I'm deflecting that by thinking she has someone too."_

" _Someone too?"_

 _Lexa nodded. "Yeah, a good friend outside of our regular circle that she can talk too." She didn't see the look that washed over Costia's face but if she had she probably would have realized in that moment just how accurate Clarke's accusations had been._

" _I'm glad you think we're close enough that you can talk to me about these things."_

" _You don't really think she'd cheat on me do? I mean that's crazy. We've talked about getting married one day, settling down in Laguna, not that I think either of us will ever really settle down." She chuckled at the thought of them being Laguna housewives, they both loved work too much._

" _I'm only being a good friend when I say this but she's been acting shady. She never calls you back, she's barely ever home, she used to text you all the time and now I rarely ever see her your phone flash with her name on it."_

 _Lexa seriously thought about Costia's words for a minute but that was all it took. "No. She's busy at the hospital, residencies are grueling, every time I talk to her she sounds exhausted, not like she's been out gallivanting around New York City."_

" _I just don't want you to get hurt, so I hope for your sake that she comes around and figures out what she has before it's too late. Be careful Lexa, I know you trust her but I don't."_

" _It's a good thing then that I trust her completely." She appreciated Costia being there for her but no one was going to put Clarke down, especially when she hadn't done anything to deserve it. She knew she was being crazy, and that she just missed her girlfriend and more importantly her best friend._

 _XOXO_

Clarke sat on the beach, drawing the scenery around her. It had been awhile since she found the down time to draw but her shift at the hospital didn't start for another 8 hours and she was bored. Octavia and Raven were both at work, her mom was at the hospital and she didn't want to walk around town only to have more people approach her about how sad they were when they found out about her and Lexa but that they were glad she was finally home. So she retreated down to the private beach where tourists were absolutely not allowed. She put her headphones in and tried to let her body relax and soak up the sun.

She saw someone out in the water, waiting for the right wave to come in but they were too far away for her to see whom it was. It reminded her of when she used to draw as Lexa surfed with Jasper and Nyko. Without thinking anymore her pencil started to draw lines on the paper and before she knew it she looked up to see the person out in the water start to paddle in. She looked back down at her page and continued to draw. When she looked back up again she saw the person stand their board in the sand and untie her hair, flipping it back over her head. She was slightly mesmerized by the water the droplets of water caressed down the woman's body, over exposed abs.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she forced herself to look away. Shaking her head she flipped the page and let her pencil do the work. She knew who was standing in front of her but she couldn't stop her pencil from drawing perfect lines on the page, she looked up one more time to see the woman with a smirk on her face, head tilted slightly, curly hair flowing over her shoulder looking right at her. She tried to look past her at the water but she couldn't so instead she forced herself to look back down.

She felt her sit down next to her but her music was too loud of her to hear anything. After a minute she felt the woman tap her shoulder. She pulled one ear bud out and looked over at the woman.

"Are you going to give me a face or are you calling this one the faceless surfer?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "I think it's better like this. I'm sorry I didn't realize it was you at first."

"It's fine, I'm just messing with you but I do have a great face so it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to draw."

"Lexa? Shut up." It didn't come out rude, and Clarke was glad that instead of saying anything else Lexa laughed in response. "Why is it you find me no matter where I hide from you?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Why are you sitting here Lexa?"

Lexa shrugged. "Just kind of happened and I wanted to see what you were drawing and I'm avoiding going home." Clarke nodded without asking why. She didn't need to, she knew Lexa was upset. "I hate that you know. I didn't say anything and you know."

"Sorry." Clarke didn't bother looking up from her paper. "I should go. Feel better." She closed her sketchbook and stood up.

"Clarke, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you. Stay, I'll leave." Lexa stood up and inadvertently caused them to be a little too close.

"It's fine, I need to get ready for my shift anyways."

"Are you going to Raven's party?" Lexa wasn't sure why she asked but it slipped out without her thinking.

Clarke nodded. "I don't really have a choice Octavia and Raven say I work too much and now they have my mother agreeing and since she is currently my boss they're all making my life a living hell." Lexa bit the inside of her cheek as she nodded slightly. "If you want to go you should, it's a big club, we can avoid each other."

"Okay."

"Okay."

XOXO

An hour later Lexa finally walked back into her house. All was quiet and she figured Costia had left. She knew she should go after her but she needed to clear her mind. Seeing Clarke on the beach felt all to familiar, it was easy for her to hate her when she was on the other side of the country but seeing made it hard for her to remember how much pain she had caused her. Every time she talked to her she hoped that it would make being angry easier but thus far it had had the opposite effect.

She started to peel off her shirt as she walked into her room. She tossed it into the corner where her laundry hamper was and saw Costia sitting on the edge of her bed. "Sorry, I thought you had left."

The woman didn't looked up and Lexa realized she was looking at something in her hand. "I found this in your desk drawer when I was looking for your notepad." Lexa didn't know what to say, she wasn't expecting this to happen this way. "Yes."

"What?" She was pulled from her thoughts.

"My answer is yes."

XOXO

Jasper wrapped his arm around Clarke's shoulders as Monty handed her a drink. "So now that you and Lexa are officially no more, how about you finally give your good buddy Jasper a shot at love?"

Clarke rolled her eyes as she sipped on her vodka tonic. "This drink isn't strong enough for me to agree to that and we've been officially over for four years."

Jasper shook his head. "Wasn't official until you came home."

"You saw me in New York less than a year ago! You know when I found you on our roof pretending to surf because you had way too much to smoke."

Across the room Anya was standing next to Raven who had one headphone on and the other resting against the side of her head. "I don't think, that's how those work." Anya joked as she leaned in so that Raven could hear her.

"I'm spinning, I need too hear what's going on out here and what's going on here." She pointed towards her turntable. "Otherwise you'll be bitching at me about bad transitions."

"True."

"Have you heard from Lexa? Is she coming? Because if she is we need to work on getting Clarke a lot more intoxicated."

Anya laughed, she knew exactly how true that was. "It wouldn't be a reunion without us all getting drunk anyways but she did say she was coming but who knows. Speaking of getting drunk though, I'm going to get a drink, you want?" Raven nodded as Anya started to walk away.

xoxo

" _When do you think they'll admit that they're dating?" Raven asked as she leaned against the bar next to Anya. They were currently watching Clarke and Lexa, who happened to be in the middle of the dance floor, dancing like it wasn't a packed club._

" _From the looks of it they are way more than dating." Anya answered as she watched Clarke's arm wrap around Lexa's waist pulling them closer together. Her head was tilted forward over Lexa's shoulder. Clearly whispering something as they continued to move._

" _And that it's been happening for awhile because it looks like they've practiced this." They were moving in perfect sync._

 _xoxo_

" _They're watching us, it's a little weird." Clarke whispered into Lexa's ear._

" _I'd watch us to." Lexa laughed as she leaned her head back on Clarke's shoulder before turning around in her arms as she started to sing the words to the blonde in front of her. "Baby us dancing so close ain't a good idea cause I'm gonna want you now and here. The way that you shake it on me makes me want you so bad sexually oh girl."_

 _Clarke leaned her head back and laughed as Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke's waist. She so badly wanted to lean forward and kiss the side of her neck but they hadn't told their friends about them yet. Clarke smiled as she looked back at her and rest her arm across her shoulder before leaning in. Lexa could feel her warm breath against her ear and it sent a chill down her spin. "Screw it." Before she could process what Clarke said she felt her head being tilted forward and soft lips on hers as they continued to move together._

 _XOXO_

"I don't see them." Costia leaned into her fiancé's as she looked around the main room.

Lexa shook her head with a laugh as she ordered them both drinks. "They wouldn't be in the main room. Raven is probably spinning upstairs, if I know them at all."

"Raven is a DJ? I thought she was a rocket scientist?"

Lexa nodded as she handed Costia her drink. "She's a woman of many wonders. I know you prefer top 40 but I promise a little old school won't hurt you."

Costia smiled. "I invited some of the girls if that's okay? They'll be here a little later."

"That's fine, I know this is a little awkward for you."

"I want you to have fun, don't worry about me, let's go find your friends." Lexa took a hold of her hand and led them upstairs. "How do you know this place so well? We've barely come here."

Lexa turned her head and smiled as she wiggled her eyebrows. "I never used to be so boring and Raven owns the place so I've spent my fair share of time here."

"She owns it?!" Lexa laughed as she pulled her into the next room where sure enough they saw Raven on stage, nodding her head along with the music as she looked down at her turntables.

The sounds of 90's hip hop and RnB filled their ears, the bass was deep, the sound was loud and Lexa had to admit she had missed the environment. She was well out of her party days but she definitely needed to let loose and she was a little excited to see her friends. As she moved further into the room she saw Anya standing next to the bar.

"Boo." She yelled in her ear as she walked up behind her friend, letting Costia's hand go.

Anya turned around ready to kill but smiled once she saw who it was. "You made it!" Anya wrapped her friend up into a hug before giving Costia a small side hug to appease her best friend. She watched the as the other woman put her glass on the bar and saw the diamond on her finger. Looking between Costia's hand and Lexa, Anya raised an eyebrow.

"I'll explain later." Lexa leaned in whispered.

"Congrats." Was all she could say to Costia who grinned like a fool.

"Where are Monty and Jasper?" Lexa followed Anya's gaze out to the dance floor and sure enough there were Monty and Jasper dancing around like fools. She couldn't help but notice that they were dancing with Clarke and Octavia. Her eyes trailed down and saw took in the white dress that Clarke was wearing, her hair curled perfectly, age had definitely done her justice. She couldn't help the laugh she let out at Monty and Jasper trying to get in between the two girls. Something's never changed, Monty and Jasper were prime examples of that.

"Well if it isn't the Commander." Lexa barely heard the words but she had heard them as she turned around.

The smile that took over her face couldn't be explained as she wrapped her arms around her old friend. "Echo! Holy shit."

"Surprise."

"What are you?"

"Doing here?" Her friend finished as she leaned so that she could be heard. "Gustus just picked me up from the airport. Come on, it wouldn't be a reunion without me here now would it and I heard you just got engaged, congrats but what's she doing over there with dumb and dumber?" It took Lexa a minute to piece it together before she realized whom Echo was talking about. She heard her let out a laugh. "Kidding, congrats though."

"Thank you, Costia," she reached out and touched her fiancé's arm making the girl turn around. "This is Echo, Echo this is Costia." She leaned into both of their eyes as she spoke.

"She's not bad Lex, good job."

Lexa nodded with a smile as Anya handed her another drink before dragging Gustus out onto the dance floor towards Clarke and Octavia. She felt someone bump into her as they tried to get to the bar. "I'm so sorry." He turned around and apologized with a sincere smile. Her heart stopped as she realized who he was. She nodded as she turned back towards Costia and Echo.

Lexa's face lit up as she heard the song changed, she loved this song. "I see you Commander." She heard Raven say over the microphone. Laughing she leaned in towards Costia. "I apologize for what's about to happen."

"Ohh shittt." Echo yelled as Lexa's head started moving with the music.

"I said a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie,to the hip hip-hop, and you don't stop.  
The rock it to the bang-bang, boogie say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Now, what you have here is not a test, I'm rapping to the beat and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet. See I am Wonder Mike and I'd like to say "hello". To the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow but first I gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie. Say up jump the boogie to the bang-bang boogie. Let's rock, you don't stop, rock the riddle that will make your body rock. Well so far you've heard my voice but I brought two friends along and next on the mic is my man Hank. Come on, Hank, sing that song." Lexa finally took a breath and Echo high-fived her. There was a smile on Costia's face but she wasn't quite sure what to make of seen.

"So you can rap!" She heard Octavia's voice in her ear. She saw her take the drink of tall dark and brooding's hand before telling him to being the other over to Clarke who was still out on the floor. "Thanks, cause because of you I've had to deal with that for years."

As if on cue they heard Raven's voice again. "Ah Lexa still has it! Let's hear it Clarke Kent!"

Clarke laughed as she took the drink from Bellamy. "Check it out, I'm the c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a and the rest is see, I go by the code of the doctor of the mix and these reasons I'll tell ya why. Ya see I'm six foot one and I'm tons of fun and I dress to a T, ya see I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali and I dress so viciously. I got bodyguards, I got two big cars that definitely ain't the whack.I got a Lincoln continental and a sunroof Cadillac. So after school, I take a dip in the pool which really is on the wall. I got a color TV so I can see the Knicks play me talking bout checkbooks, credit cards  
more money than a sucker could ever spend, but I wouldn't give a sucker or a bum from the Rucker. Not a dime 'til I made it again, you go hotel motel whatcha gonna do today. I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spanking, drive off in a def OJ. Everybody go, hotel motel holiday inn. Say if your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend. Master Gee, am I mellow, it's on you so what you gonna do?"

"Alright everyone, usually me or A-Boogie take over but since we have a very special guest in the buidling tonight I'm gonna throw this one out to here. Let's go New York, you got this ya little Yankee, bring us home!"

Lexa looked over her shoulder at Octavia with a smirk on her face. Octavia finished the drink she had just gotten and gave Lexa the finger. "Well it's on and on and on on and on  
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn. I said m-a-s, t-e-r, a g with a double e. I said I go by the unforgettable name. Of the man they call the Master Gee. Well, my name is known all over the world. By all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls.I'm going down in history as the baddest rapper there could ever be. Now I'm feeling the highs and ya feeling the lows. The beat starts getting into your start popping ya fingers and stomping your feet and moving your body while you're sitting in your seat and the damn ya start doing the freak. I said damn, right outta your seat. Then ya throw your hands high in the rocking to the rhythm, shake your derrière. Ya rocking to the beat without a care. With the sure-shot m.c.s for the affair. Now, I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang but I rap to the beat just the same. I got a little face and a pair of brown eyes. All I'm here to do ladies is hypnotize. Singing on and on and on on and on, the beat don't stop until the break of dawn. Singing on and on and on on and on. Like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie. Pop da pop pop ya don't dare stop. Come alive y'all gimme what ya got. I guess by now you can take a hunch and find that I am the baby of the bunch but that's okay I still keep in stride 'cause all I'm here to do is just wiggle your behind. Singing on and on and on on and on the beat don't stop until the break of dawn. Singing on and on and on on and on. Rock rock y'all throw it on the floor. I'm gonna freak ya here I'm gonna freak ya there I'm gonna move you outta this atmosphere cause I'm one of a kind and I'll shock your mind. I'll put t-t-tickets in your behind. I said 1-2-3-4, come on girls get on the floor. A-come alive, y'all a-gimme what ya got 'cause I'm guaranteed to make you rock."

Once she was done, Octavia ordered another drink and looked at Lexa. "Now that's how you rap Lex Luther! East coast style!"

They both laughed as they cheersed their glasses. Raven changed the song and everyone screamed. Looking up Lexa saw Clarke dancing with Mr. Broody who surprisingly had a smile on his. His hand resting on her hip as they moved with the music.

"Lexa! You finally made it!" Monty yelled over the music as he hugged friend.

"Hi Monty, have you met Costia before?"

Monty shook his head before shaking Costia's hand gently as Jasper threw his arm around Lexa's shoulder. "So when are we getting married?"

"Take it Clarke turned you down already?"

"You know you're the only one for me."

"She's taken!" Costia yelled over the music and held up her ring finger for everyone to see.

Monty, Jasper and Octavia all looked over at Lexa. Shaking her head, Octavia walked away without another word. This was definitely not the way she wanted her friends to find out about her engagement.

"He was just joking." Lexa said as she leaned into Costia.

"I know, I was trying to get in on it." Lexa nodded as Jasper and Monty hugged her and then Costia.

"Guess it really is a party tonight." Jasper joked as he got another beer. "Let's get your sexy booty out on the floor Lex, come on."

Lexa looked back at Costia. "Go, I'm going to go see if the girls are here yet." She pecked Lexa on the lips before walking away.

XOXO

"Come on, you two used to know the words to every single song!" Anya yelled at her two friends who couldn't have been standing further apart.

Clarke was having a hard time keeping her eyes off of Lexa in the tight green dress she was wearing. Her hair was wavy, toned down from her natural curls but it still suited her. She had to remind herself that she was no longer hers and that it was partially her own fault.

"Move bitch, get out the way." She felt Octavia push her arm, bringing her out of her revere.

They were all smiling and dancing like no time at all had passed, Except it had because Lexa and Clarke hadn't looked at each other in awhile and everyone could feel the tension even though the two exes were trying their best to not let it affect everyone else.

Lexa couldn't help but watch as Clarke sauntered over to Octavia, her hands were in her hair as she moved towards her friends, swaying her hips mouthing the words to the song. She tried to forget the memory of how it felt when she would dance up to her like that. The only thing she was grateful for in that moment was that it was Octavia she was dancing with and not someone else.

They all continued to dance and Lexa accidentally backed up in to Clarke as they moved to the music. They turned their heads at the same time, and Lexa mouthed an apology. Clarke offered her a small smile in return but she could feel the burn in her back from where she had bumped into the blonde.

When she turned around again she noticed that Clarke had made her way over to the bar. She knew that by now she had heard about her engagement and she knew she needed to talk to her herself. So she made her way through the crowd towards the bar where Clarke was waiting for her drink. She had no idea what to say, the alcohol was starting to get to her and she knew she didn't have much of a filter left.

"You always were the most beautiful woman in the room." She heard the words come out of her mouth but she couldn't stop them.

"Don't, don't say that, don't do that. You have no right. You left me so you don't get to do that." Clarke willed herself to be strong, to not show any signs of weakness. She clutched her drink in her hand and took a deep breath.

"You cheated on me." There it was and Lexa knew she couldn't stop where this conversation was going now.

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I'm not having that conversation again, if you don't want to believe me then don't."

"You parading around town with him says enough." Lexa spit out as her blood started to boil.

"You're one to talk Lexa, hope you and Costia have a great life. She was over here telling everyone how you just got engaged so maybe you should be telling her she's the most beautiful girl in the room and not the girl whose heart you broke four years ago." With that she left in a blur of blonde hair as Lexa was left standing in shock. She rubbed the back of her neck like she usually did when she was anxious and nervous.

A second later her feet started to move but not in the direction her head was telling her too. Instead she followed her heart out the door and across the street to the pier. Sure enough she could see a petite silhouette standing at the end of the pier. She stood still for a moment, whether it was to gain courage or to take in the fact that Clarke was standing in front of her.

She was the youngest CEO of a fortune 500 company and a pretty damn good lawyer. People didn't make her nervous, tough situations didn't make her nervous but Clarke Griffin definitely made her a nervous wreck. In the beginning she used to over think everything she said to the other woman, so much so that it came out as almost robotic. It didn't matter that they had known each other for practically their whole lives, once she realized just how much she liked the blonde she was done for.

Her feet started moving again even though she kept telling herself she should go back inside, she had just gotten engaged and all. But alas her feet moved in the only direction that seemed to matter in that moment. She chalked it up to old habits being hard to break, and she saw the hurt in Clarke's eyes even though the blonde had been trying her hardest to not let anything slip.

"What are you doing Lexa." She stopped walking once she heard Clarke's voice.

She shouldn't have been surprised Clarke always knew when she was around. "How did you know?"

"I can smell your perfume, it hasn't changed." Her voice was cold and even. She didn't bother to look in Lexa's direction as the other woman stood next to her. "You should be inside because we really don't have anything to talk about."

"Maybe we do, like how my father had a heart attack three years ago." She wasn't sure what made the words come out but they did, she supposed she was still angry even though she thought she had gotten past it. She knew the alcohol didn't help; she never could keep her mouth shut when was drinking. She expected Clarke to have a reaction but she didn't even flinch.

"I know he did, my mom told me."

"And you couldn't even call! You can be pissed at me or hate me but my parents loved you, they do love you."

Still Clarke didn't waver. "I know which is why I visited when he was in the hospital and why I took your mom on a shopping date the last time she was in New York on business."

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat. "They never told me."

"It wasn't yours to know. I didn't just lose you, I lost them too and I pay for that every day. It was my own fault but it still hurts Lexa, it all still hurts, being here hurts so you don't need to throw things like that at me. Don't you think I wished I could be here for them, for you but you made the choice to end it. You can blame me for leaving you can blame me for being busy for not trying enough but you can not blame me for ending it."

Lexa could see the hurt now, it was so clear. She had been right this was all harder on Clarke than the blonde showed. "I don't want it to be like this Clarke." Her voice quivered causing her to stop and take a deep breath. "We're going to run into each other and I would really like it if it wasn't entirely awkward. I'm not saying we need to stop, say hi and have a pathetic attempt at a conversation, I just mean, I just want it to not always be a fight, I don't want it to be this awkward."

Clarke's gaze was still trained on the water in front of them. "We aren't fighting."

"You're being difficult now."

"I'm saying it like it is." Lexa knew that tone, it was her fiery tone, the one that meant business. Sure enough Clarke finally looked over at the woman standing next to her. "We aren't fighting, we have nothing to fight about. You left me, you left me standing in the rain in my best dress. You made your choice Lexa, now you have to deal with it."

Lexa clenched her jaw, she really didn't want to do this. She didn't want to have this fight again. "It was four years ago Clarke, we've both moved on, for the sake of our sanity can we please just be formal at best. I mean we were friends once," she looked up and saw the expression on Clarke's face. "I'm not saying lets try and be friends, just friendly. It's a small town and we know all the same people. If you're back I don't want it to be insufferable for you to be here, for you to be home."

"This isn't my home, not anymore but fine, whatever you want Lexa." She turned to walk away and then stopped. "Congrats. That friendly enough for you?" Oh yes, Clarke was pissed and hurt.

"No, it's not because that's you pushing my buttons, like only you seem to know how to do!"

Clarke turned her head and looked her ex-girlfriend dead in the eyes. "Nice ring by the way, was that the one you bought for me?" Lexa clenched her jaw as she watched Clarke turn and walk away. Clarke was in a cab by the time Lexa processed what had just happened. She could only watch as Clarke drove away and she was pretty sure she knew exactly where she was going.

She closed her eyes and smoothed out her dress before going back inside. "Do not come near me." Octavia told her as she walked up to the other woman, "because I will throw your ass in jail for something."

Usually Lexa would have made a smart-ass comment about how it would never stick and she would use legal jargon to prove it but she knew this was not an instance where she could joke her way out of it. "I'm sorry but right now I can't do this."

She started to walk away in the direction of her fiancé except Octavia grabbed her arm. "You don't get to act like you care about her so go and be happy with that bitch but don't for a second think you and I are okay either."

"Octavia, it's not worth it. Come on, let's go home. Leave Lexa to handle her business." Lexa snapped her head up at the sound of the voice, there were so many things she wanted to say to the man standing in front of her but she couldn't. Clarke and Octavia were right, she had no right. Instead she turned her head and smiled once she saw Costia looking at her.

"Everything okay?" The woman asked her once she moved beside her, kissing her cheek.

Lexa shook her head. "Not really, I wasn't expecting her to find out like this."

Costia shook her head with a smile. "It's fine, but remember you don't owe any of them anything. They all covered for her, lied to your face and then stood up for her once she got caught."

"You're right, I just don't want it to be like this. This was supposed to be a good night, all of us back together." The shorter brunette kissed her fiancés cheek and wrapped her arm around her waist.

"If you want to leave we can." Costia told her.

She shook her head no. "You stay, your friends just got here, you should celebrate. I'm going to go home and try to sleep off the alcohol."

"I don't mind leaving with you."

Lexa smiled. "I'm sure, have fun. Enjoy your crappy taste in music." She tried to joke as heard the top 40 music that was being played in the main room.

"Love you." Lexa smiled as she kissed her cheek and turned to walk away. This was not how she was expecting the night to go.

 **TBC…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Lexa meant to stay home, she meant to stay in bed but after changing into some more comfortable clothes she found herself on a slightly drunken walk. Clarke's words played over and over again in her head. The hurt in her eyes bore into her soul and she couldn't erase the image. Without realizing it until she heard the creak of the wood she looked down the dock at one of her family's boat. The sailboat was always her favourite. There was something serene about it, like it didn't matter how long it took to get somewhere because the fun was in getting there.

As she got to the end of the dock where the boat was tied she noticed movement on the boat across from hers. "Come all the way down here to continue to fight? Seems like a hassle."

Lexa is shocked by the voice coming from the other boat. She silently scolds herself, she figured Clarke had gone to the beach not the boat. "What are you doing here? You usually go to the beach." Yep, she's still drunk.

"I've had enough of the beach for a few days. So you actually didn't know I was here?"

"I didn't. I'll leave you to it." They weren't being nice, their words were direct and to the point but not nice.

"It's what your best at." Yep, Clarke was still drunk too.

"I'm not the one that moved across the country."

"Yeah well I'm not the one who cheated on the other and took off to explore Europe. I'm also not the one who purposed to said other person, with the ring I was going to give someone else."

That was it. Lexa snapped. "I saw you with him in the restaurant. Everyone said that maybe, just maybe I was missing something and I stood up for you. Then I come to propose to you and you're kissing another guy. How the hell did you even know what I was going to do anyways and how would you know where I went afterwards and why would you care?"

Thus far she was arguing with shadows but she slowly saw Clarke's figure start to appear. From the light of the dock she can see that the other woman had clearly been crying. "You should have trusted me, you should have talked to me and you didn't. You were looking for an excuse to leave because things got hard and you've never hard things be hard. Oh and I knew because the stupid guy called Octavia while she was in the shower and I answered for her. He said that the ring was in and waiting to be picked up and that it was a great choice. He also said that she should tell you that it was a pleasure helping the both of you and that he wanted Octavia to tell you to bring me in after you did it." The tears started to well up in her eyes and she couldn't control them from falling.

Lexa was still mad, she was still furious but seeing Clarke this upset was never something that was easy for her. "I would never give anyone else that ring, that ring was yours and now it's the oceans. I meant what I said, I don't want to fight with you and we're both drunk still. You're clearly happy with him and I'm happy too so let's leave it at that. Goodnight Clarke." She wanted to go home, she wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep but she was just too tired so she moved the five steps across the dock and got onto the boat. From beneath the deck she watched as Clarke turned around and moved back into the shadows. She wanted to hash everything out but it hurt too badly and she had done everything in her power in the last four years to get the hurt to stop.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Junior Year_

" _I came home because you keep saying how we haven't spent much time together lately. Then to my surprise you aren't here when I get home because Wells was in town visiting. Who just so happens to be your high school sweet heart."_

" _Yeah because I thought you were going to be in class and the library all night. Like you told me you were going to be. Had I known you were going to be here I would have stayed in and made dinner because I do miss you." Clarke's voice quivered, she was tired, Lexa could tell. Usually Clarke put up a good fight but she clearly didn't have it in her right now but Lexa was still mad and when she was mad she was extra stubborn._

" _Well you haven't exactly talked to me today so how the hell would you know?"_

 _Clarke shook her head. "Lexa if you're so unhappy then just leave. There's the door, I don't have it in me to fight with you right now."_

" _Fine." Lexa grabbed her back and walked out their apartment door, slamming it behind her._

 _A few hours later Lexa opened their apartment door and set her bag down closing the door quietly behind herself. Taking a deep breath she checked the kitchen and then the living room. All the lights were off and it looked like Clarke hadn't been in either area for hours. Going into their shared bedroom, the lights were all off and to Lexa's dismay Clarke wasn't in bed. She rubbed her neck and thought about where the other woman may have gone._

 _Making her way up to the roof of their apartment, she smiled slightly as she saw blonde hair up in a messy bun. Clarke was sitting on one of the lawn chairs, knees to her chest, blanket wrapped around her. She clearly hadn't heard the door open because she didn't even flinch so Lexa made her way back downstairs only to reemerge minutes later._

 _When she opened the door again, she pulled out her phone and took a picture of her girlfriend. Something about how the moonlight was hitting her made it the perfect picture, even though it was clear she was upset. Putting her phone back into her apartment she silently walked over and sat down next to her girlfriend._

" _I was wondering if you were going to say anything." Clarke mumbled from the depths of the blanket she was clutching around herself._

" _I went to get you something." She was used to Clarke knowing when she was near, but it never ceased to amaze her. "I made you this." Lexa sat almost perfectly still on the edge of the chair as her arm reached out to hold the mug of tea in front of Clarke._

 _It took a second before little hands snuck out from under the blanket and took hold of the mug with two hands. "You came home."_

" _Were you worried I wouldn't?" Clarke nodded briefly as she held the mug up to her lips. Leaning forward Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and placed a gentle, barely there, kiss on the back of her neck._

" _I will always come back to you Clarke Elizabeth Griffin. Besides we can't go to bed angry, it's in the rule book."_

 _Clarke relaxed a little and leaned back into her the warmth of her girlfriend. "I'm sorry too. I love you." She spoke softly as she leaned her head back on Lexa's shoulder to look up at her._

" _I'm more than sorry my love."_

 ** _XOXO_**

Lexa tossed and turned for at least an hour but it was clear sleep was not going to be her friend tonight. Fighting with Clarke was eating at her, even though she knew it shouldn't be. She should be at home with her fiancé. But she wasn't. She was far from it. Her mind was only on the woman no more than fifteen feet from. With the alcohol still in her blood to give her an extra boost of courage, she flung the covers off herself and stood up. Her hair was a mild mess but in this moment she didn't care how she looked.

When she got outside she noticed the lack of shadow on the boat opposite her own. "Clarke Griffin get out here, please." She added for good measure. "I know you're still in there, these boats are not at all sound proof."

A moment later, Clarke emerged from below deck. Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. "Can't a girl get some damn sleep?" She let out a yawn and then shook her head. "What do you want Lexa?" Her voice was raspy, Lexa loved her voice when she had just woken up.

"We can't go to bed angry. I can't go to bed angry."

Clarke rolled her eyes. She was clearly too tired and too drunk to give a damn about hiding her emotions and being friendly. "We've gone to bed angry for the past four years, let's not ruin a good thing. If that's all I'm going back to bed." And with that she turned around and started to make her way back inside. "I am angry Lexa, I know I shouldn't be but I'm still angry and it's great that you aren't, that you got over it all. Really, I'm happy that you've found the person to spend your life with but that doesn't mean I'm not still angry." She didn't turn around as she spoke, she didn't want Lexa to see how much the words hurt. "Goodnight Lexa." With that she went back inside, it took a minute longer but after the words finally sunk in Lexa went back to bed. Her heart was heavy; this was never how she wanted her life to turn out.

 **XOXO**

Two weeks later Lexa found herself sitting at dinner with her best friend after a long day at work. "Let's rewind, how did you go from thinking you might propose to actually proposing?"

Lexa took another sip of her red wine. "She found the ring." Anya's face went wide-eyed and she could see the daggers about to be thrown in her direction. "No, god no, not that ring. Why does everyone think it was that ring? I would never. That wouldn't be fair to Clarke, or to Costia."

Anya let herself breathe again. "You are so lucky because I would have killed you and I would have let Octavia and Raven help."

"You three hang out far too much."

"Sorry that our best friends are too busy for us. 'I'm at the hospital. I'm at the office.'" Anya rolled her eyes as she mocked her best friends.

"I don't sound like that and I'm pretty sure Clarke doesn't either."

"Except you do." Anya said taking another bite of her salmon. "So because she found the ring you decided to just go for it?"

Lexa shook her head. "It just happened, she was sitting there all upset and I went with it. I really did not intend for you all to find out that way, I didn't intend for Clarke to find out that way."

"Then you went and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the room. You're such an asshole." Anya laughed as she watched Lexa drink her wine.

"It just came out. I was drunk, and I'm sorry that I'm human. I mean have you seen her legs. I'm engaged not blind. We both know physical attraction was never our problem, except now she looks at me like she wants to kill. I'm actually surprised she didn't when she was stitching up my leg."

Anya shook her head. "She loves your parents too much to do that plus you told her you didn't want to go to bed angry." Anya laughed once again as Lexa looked down at her plate.

"She told you that?"

"Raven did, Octavia told her so I'm guessing Clarke told Octavia or maybe Bellamy did. I don't know who Clarke told to be honest."

"Bellamy is in town, Octavia's brother?" Lexa asked as she picked up her wine glass and finished the last of the glass.

Anya nodded. "You know who he is?"

"Of course I know who he is. Octavia talked about him all the time, but I never met him. He's in the National Guard, seemed like a nice enough guy though from what Clarke said."

Anya kept shaking her head. "You are the worlds biggest idiot."

"You keep saying that but I don't understand why."

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough and I am going to stand by laughing when you do."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Or you could be a good best friend and just tell me."

Anya shook her head. "No can do. Not my place and this is something you need to find out on your own but yes Bellamy has been in town visiting. He's quite the looker, if Gus wasn't around I totally would have gotten on that."

Lexa rolled her eyes as she finished eating her dinner, her best friend was a real piece of work.

 **XOXO**

"Clarke, you have to come, you don't work until later tonight." Abby shook her head at her daughter who was currently sitting in the living room, cross legged on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in her lap, hair a mess.

"I don't think it's appropriate that I show up to my ex-girlfriends moms birthday party."

"No but it is appropriate for you to show up to a family friends birthday party, and one of your mothers closest friends. You two go shopping all the time, she even sleeps at your apartment when she's in New York."

Clarke leaned her head back against the couch. "Only twice and only because we had girls night in."

"Get up, get dressed and let's go! I want to see if these Laguna parties are all you made them out to be." Octavia walked into the room in her black romper and took the popcorn bowl off Clarke's lap. "Now! Move it!"

Clarke crossed her arms without budging from her spot on the couch. "Does that mean I got dressed up for nothing princess? Here I thought I was being nice and accompanying you so you didn't have to face your ex alone only to get stood up." Clarke over at the doorway to see Bellamy dressed in a pair of slacks and a purple dress shirt. His hair was actually styled and not the usual curly mess.

"Sorry to disappoint." Clarke shrugged as she went back to watching the television. "Callie and Arizona are about to go on their first date so if you don't mind, goodbye and have fun."

Abby, Octavia and Bellamy all looked at each other. They were certain that Clarke would have relented by now. Octavia watched a smile grew on Abby's face, she knew that smile it was the one Clarke made whenever she was about to win an argument. "Get up, get dressed, and meet me at the Callaway's or I'm not letting you near an operating room for a week."

Clarke's head turned so fast that Octavia thought it was going to snap off. "You can't do that! That's my education, I need all the O.R. hours I can get."

"I can and I will. See you all soon." Abby grinned as she grabbed her clutch and headed out the front door.

"That was such a bitch move." Clarke grumbled as she pulled herself up off the couch. "Text Raven and make sure spawn of Satan and Satan's fiancé aren't there."

"I take it she's still mad." Bellamy said as he took the popcorn from Octavia and sat down on the couch.

Octavia nodded and sat down next to her brother. "Pissed, especially about the whole 'we can't go to bed angry line'.

"Laguna is a soap opera after all, just like we always teased her about." He laughed as he tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth as his sister nodded in agreement.

An hour later Clarke finally made her way back into the living room. "Thank god, can we party now?" Octavia asked as she stood up and finished zipping up Clarke's dress.

"Are you trying to make a statement? Because if you are, this dress is the right one. I didn't know you went back and bought it." Octavia noted as Clarke sat down to put her black heels on.

"If you weren't my sister, I'd agree." Bellamy said as she stood up and set the popcorn bowl on the table.

"I did, I figured I deserved it." Clarke said of the silver dress that she was currently wearing. It sat at a perfect height on her thighs, revealing enough leg to make you wonder but not so much that her ass was hanging out. "I wear my pain like stilettos so let's go because these stiletto's already hurt."

"I like Laguna Clarke, she wears more than scrubs and leggings." Octavia grinned as she earned a smack on the arm from her best friend.

"I told you, I clean up well now let's go before I lose out on cutting people open."

Bellamy gave her an alarmed looked. "You mean saving people."

"Yeah that, let's go. I already called the cab."

"It's a five minute walk?" The Blake siblings both said in unison.

"It's a ten minute walk and I'm not walking that far in these. Now move it before I change my mind."

The siblings looked at each other as Clarke made her way out of the house. "Raven says she hasn't spotted Lex Luther yet so she's safe."

"She's safe?" Clarke asked as they made their way into the cab.

Octavia nodded. "We're both very good with guns." She pointed between herself and her brother.

 **XOXO**

"Fucking eh. No wonder you had parties here in high school, this place is massive." Octavia's eyes were wide as they walked into the Callaway home.

"You get used to it after awhile, doesn't seem that big anymore." Clarke answered dryly as she felt Bellamy put an assuring hand on her back. They moved into the house and Clarke instantly looked around to make sure that Raven hadn't been lying to her about Lexa being there yet.

"She's not here yet, she got stuck in traffic so you can breathe." Anya smiled as she gave Clarke a hug.

"Thanks, you look good." She winked at her friend as they linked arms and made their way into the kitchen, leaving Bellamy and Octavia alone to wander around the house.

"I should really find Elizabeth and give her my wishes before it's too late and I have to leave."

Anya nodded. "You work tonight right?"

"I do. Night shifts are always fun." There wasn't a single hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"I'll make sure to shoot someone for you then."

They both laughed as they made their way through the kitchen and into the backyard where most of the guests were. She smiled at her mother who she saw talking to a few people. She gave her an approving nod before she focused her attention back on the people she was speaking with.

"There you are. I got you this." Gustus smiled as he walked up and placed a kiss on Anya's temple. "Hi Clarke."

"Gus Gus." She smiled back at him as she gave him a hug. He squeezed her and picked her up off the ground like he always.

"I didn't know you were here or I would have gotten you something too."

She raised a hand and smiled. "Clarke works tonight so she has to be sober for all of this."

He grimaced. "Ouch, that's rough."

"Tell me about it but I'm going to go and say hi to the guest of honour." She took a deep breath as she moved away from her friends and made her way towards the birthday girl.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I came to say hello." Clarke apologized as she had interrupted a conversation.

"Clarke! You are home! You're mother had said so but I told her I wouldn't believe it until I saw you." Before anyone knew what had happened Clarke was being brought into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you could make it. I miss you." The woman said as she held Clarke at arms length and look her over. "That dress is gorgeous, you get more and more beautiful every time I see you."

"Thank you Mrs. Callaway and happy birthday. I wouldn't have missed it."

The woman gave her a look and pulled her in for another hug. "Sorry mom." Clarke corrected herself without realizing that Costia was standing behind her.

"That's more like it. Jeffrey! Jeffrey, come here." She called for her husband as she turned around and excused himself from the guests he was talking to. "Squirt." He grinned as he wrapped Clarke up into a hug of his own.

"Hi, Jeff," he squeezed her a little tighter. "Hi, pops." She corrected herself as he let her go. "You're mom threatened to take away your surgeries didn't she?" He asked with a knowing smirk.

Clarke looked between her ex's parents. "I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about."

They both smiled at her knowingly as they started to ask her questions about work, and if she was seeing anymore. "We are so proud of you, and everything you've accomplished." Elizabeth gushed and that was all it took for Costia to walk away. She had been standing there for what felt like forever to speak with Elizabeth but it was clear they weren't going to notice anyone else anytime soon.

"Thank you, that means so much to me. Octavia and Bellamy are here as well but I left them in awe of the house so I'm sure they'll come and say hello shortly."

"Oh good, I'm sure Octavia is happy to have him around for a little bit."

Clarke nodded. "She is. It's nice having him around, even though he drives us both crazy." They all laughed, Clarke had told them a lot about Bellamy and how he had turned into an older brother to her. They had told her that they were glad she had someone else to look out for her and that it was something her father would have wanted.

"I can't wait to finally meet him." Elizabeth smiled as she was handed another glass of champagne.

xoxo

Back inside Lexa finally emerged from her bedroom after having just changed. Traffic had been far crazier than she had expected it to be and she knew if she were any later her parents would skin her. So she rushed out of her room and downstairs as she tried to put her heels on. From her place on the step she could see Clarke outside talking to her parents and she willed herself too look away from the blonde and focus on walking but it was too late. She bumped right into someone's back. "I am so sorry." She began to apologize as he began to turn around.

He smiled and helped steady her. "It's not problem." She looked up at his features and pulled her arm away from his touch rougher than she had meant to.

"Lexa, you look great." Octavia smiled as she stepped out from behind the man. "Have you met my brother yet?"

"Bellamy. Nice to finally meet you." He grinned as he extended his hand. "You have a very lovely home." Lexa was frozen in place. Had Octavia just said her brother and did he just say his name was Bellamy. Her heart stopped, time felt like it was standing still and she wasn't sure she was still breathing. She shook her head and rubbed her temple. He was definitely the man from the restaurant and the one she had seen Clarke. "She has a rule."

"What?"

Shit. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. "I'm sorry. My head's a little all over the place. Thank you and Lexa. It's nice to finally meet you Bellamy. Sorry, I need to go and check in with my mother. Please make yourselves at home."

 **TBC…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Lexa walked through the crowd of people as if she was stuck in a dream. She knew people were moving around but her mind was still reeling. Clarke had never broken her rule and she would never break her rule, especially with Octavia's brother. She was entirely numb, she didn't know what to feel, how to feel. She wanted to break down, to scream at herself, to cry and cry some more because she ruined everything. She freaked out and ruined it all. It was her fault, not Clarke's. The hurt in Clarke's eyes, the way she could barely stand to look at her made more sense. It wasn't guilt, it was anger and hurt and she deserved it all.

"Hey boo bear, there you are, you look amazing." She heard Costia, she felt her hand on her arm but she wasn't sure if she had looked at her. "Lexa?" She heard her ask a little louder.

"Hmm?" She finally turned, eyes still on Clarke who was still talking to her parents.

"I asked if you were okay?"

Lexa shook her head and tried to remind herself exactly where she was. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just need to talk to my parents before they think I'm still not here."

"They're outside talking with your ex." She could hear the bitterness in Costia's voice and usually she'd make a smart remark but not right now, not after what she had just realized.

"Yeah, they're all close, You knew that though." Lexa kept looking to make sure that Clarke was still talking with her parents.

"Did you know she still calls them mom and pops? I don't even call them that."

Lexa finally looked at her fiancé. "They're close, I can't change that. I'm sorry, they've also known Clarke since she was a baby. Our parents have always been close."

"But you and Clarke weren't I thought? I mean growing up."

She really didn't have time for this conversation right now. "We just didn't have the same group of friends until we were in our senior year really. We got a long but we didn't generally hang out, doesn't mean that she didn't see my parents. Our parents all went to school together."

"Your mom looks at her like she's another daughter."

The sadness in Costia's voice brought Lexa momentarily out of her haze. "She might as well be, Clarke's named after her, that's how close our parents are, I'm sorry I'll explain more later." With that she moved past the other brunette and outside.

"Lexa! There you are! We were just catching up with Clarke, did you know she finished top in her class."

Clarke tried to breathe as she heard Lexa's father say his daughter's name. She hadn't gotten away in time and now she was stuck. "I didn't actually, that's amazing Clarke." She didn't want to look up at the Lexa but she did to be polite and the smile she received almost knocked her off her feet. She hated Lexa's proud of her smile, it always made her feel things and she no longer wanted to feel anything when it came to Lexa.

"I'm sorry I'm late, traffic was a mess, I hate driving the car and not my bike."

"Well if it wasn't for Clarke, you wouldn't have a leg!" Her mother told her with a shake of her head.

Lexa rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Do you mind if I actually steal Clarke for a minute?" She asked her parents without looking at Clarke.

"If she hadn't just snuck away then maybe but it seems she's outsmarted you monkey." She looked at her dad and then where Clarke had been in standing.

"How does she do that?" She asked her parents; she hadn't even felt Clarke leave.

Her mother shrugged. "Be careful Lexa. You know we love you, and we support you in whatever your choices may be but Clarke is putting on a brave face and I hope you can see that."

"I know, and we'll talk about your New York shopping trips later." Lexa gave her mother a pointed look before smiling and kissing her on the cheek. "Especially since you didn't bring anything home for me but I really do need to speak with her."

Her parents both nodded as she excused herself and moved back into the house. Looking around she spotted her dancing with Bellamy and Octavia. She didn't know how she hadn't seen it before, but looking at it now it was clear that Clarke was not into Bellamy, not the way she thought at least. It still didn't explain the kiss but it meant Clarke hadn't lied to her.

"Dance with me?" Her head slowly moved away from what she was looking at and towards Costia.

She wanted to say no, she wanted to say she had to talk to Clarke but she had to get her priorities right. It changed the past but it didn't change the present. This was her life now, a life she chose, it was her bed and she had to lie in it. "Let's dance." She smiled as Costia took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor.

A half hour later, Lexa had to excuse herself. Her head was starting to pound, it felt like it was over loading. As much as she tried to calm her nerves and clear her mind, she couldn't so as she noticed Clarke saying her goodbyes she excused herself from the conversation she was having and ran outside after her.

"Clarke! Clarke wait!" Finally the blonde stopped walking. "Where are going, it's only early?"

Clarke turned around with the most annoyed face Lexa had ever seen. "Work. I have the nightshift."

"Thank you for coming, it meant a lot to mom."

Clarke nodded as she waited for the cab to pull in. "What is it you really want to say Lexa?"

Before Lexa could get a word out, they were approached by an older gentleman and his wife. "Lexa, Clarke. My you two have grown."

"Mr. Livingston, nice to see you." Lexa extended her hand before Clarke did the same.

"Honey, you remember Lexa and Clarke right?" He asked his wife who smiled sweetly and nodded.

"Yes, I've heard great things about you both. Clarke I hear you're a doctor?" She asked as she looked towards the blonde.

Clarke smiled, grateful for the interruption. "Yes, a surgeon more specifically."

"That's fantastic and Lexa here, took over the Callaway group and might I say you're doing a wonderful job. We're all very happy with what you've accomplished."

"We heard you were in New York Clarke, I'm surprised you came back to Laguna, New York is a magical place." Mrs. Livingston said, her eyes lighting up, clearly she was found of New York. "But with a woman as beautiful as your fiancé, I can't blame you. You know I used to live in New York and I moved to L.A. for Jimmy."

"They don't want to hear that story dear, but I would love to take you out for dinner to talk business when your schedule allows it, possibly a double date so we can all catch up. I'd love to hear more about what being a surgeon is like." He looked at Clarke who smiled politely, unsure of what to say.

"That sounds wonderful but…"

"Perfect, it's settled then, I'll have my secretary contact yours. It was lovely to see you both again." With that the Livingstons walked away leaving Lexa and Clarke both shocked at what had just happened.

"I'm so sorry, he just cut me off. I don't know why he thinks that we, I mean he's met… I don't get it." Lexa rambled without finishing a full sentence. "I'm sorry, I'll make sure I set him straight."

"It's fine, not your fault. Have a nice night." Clarke managed to let out as her cab pulled up.

"Wait, please." It was the 'please' that made Clarke turn around, something had changed in Lexa's voice and she was somewhat curious as to what it was. "I met Bellamy, I didn't know he was in town and I didn't know who he was when I saw you with him before and I didn't know he was Bellamy when I saw you at the restaurant."

"What are you talking about Lexa? What restaurant?"

"Four years ago in New York. I saw you having dinner with him and he kissed you and I freaked out and I got mad and I walked away. You said you didn't cheat on me and I didn't believe you and I hurt you because I was hurt but I wouldn't listen. I saw him kiss you and I lost it but you have a rule and you've never broken the rule?" She was rambling again and she hadn't meant for it to come out as a question.

Clarke tried to make sense of what Lexa was saying. She tried to remember why Bellamy would ever kiss her. She thought about telling Lexa that she had broken her rule, just to spite her but she was above that. And that's when she remembered. "He kissed me on the cheek because I told him that I was about to get engaged to the love of my life. He was in town visiting and I asked him to go out to dinner because I couldn't tell Octavia I knew, she'd be too upset so I told the next closest person to me that was in New York. We were celebrating because I couldn't contain how happy I was and waiting for you was killing me. I'm sorry I can't do this right now, I can't look at you because you're telling me that you ruined us, tore my heart out because of something you thought you saw. You should have trusted me."

Before Lexa could say anything she heard the cab door close and once again she was watching Clarke disappear into the distance.

"Everything okay with you two?" She felt Costia wrap her arm around Lexa's and lean her head on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I just found something out but we'll talk about it later." Costia smiled at her and rubbed the inside of her arm as they walked back inside. "Thank you, for understanding that it's complicated and doing this for my mom."

"Of course."

 **XOXO**

All she could hear was sirens, all she could see was her mother crying and Abby rushing to her fathers side. Her head was spinning, she didn't know what to do how to act, she wasn't going with this sort of thing.

"Go, I'll take care of everything here, go with your mom." She knew Costia was speaking to her so her head responded by nodding but she was on autopilot as she watched them put her father into the ambulance and Abby jumping in after him. Her mother was crying and she thought she was holding her but she wasn't sure. At some point she told her mother to go with him in the ambulance and that she'd meet them there.

She wanted to get on her motorcycle, she remembers trying. She hears Anya and Costia trying to talk her out of it. She even hears Raven and Octavia tell her she'd be stupid but she's putting on her helmet, she's numb. She keeps telling them it's the fastest way to the hospital. Then she hears Octavia say something and she nods moving back.

She feels the bike stop and Octavia tap her on the leg. Her body takes over and she gets off the bike. She stops in front of the hospital doors unable to go any further. "Hey, Lexa, come on. I'll go with you. Take a deep breath, it's going to be fine. Abby is the best. Your mom needs you okay."

"You didn't kill me." She's not sure why she said that but it seemed fitting.

Octavia let out a chuckle, there was the woman she knew, always being a smart ass. "Not today. Now come on, you got this."

"I can't do this again." She says softly as they make their way into the hospital and into the elevator.

"Yes you can. Don't make me kick your ass Lexa, because your ass looks good in that dress." A weak smile, her colour started to come back slightly. "That's more like it."

She closed her eyes once more and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes she her mind finally snapped back into reality. "We have to find my mom." Octavia nodded as they made their way to the nurse's station The nurse pointed them in the right direction and Lexa took off running.

Once they made their way to the waiting room she engulfed her mother in a hug. When she pulled away and they sat down her mother wiped away her tears and looked at her daughter. "Tell me you did not ride here Lexa!"

Lexa shook her head. "No, no, Octavia drove. I don't know how she got me to listen but she did."

Elizabeth looked up. "Thank you, Octavia."

"Of course momma C."

 **XOXO**

It had been three hours since they had gotten to the hospital. Three hours and no updates. Octavia had tried to find Clarke but the nurses had no idea where she was and she wasn't answering her phone. Anya and Gustus arrived a half-hour after Lexa and Octavia. They told her that Costia was taking care of the party guests and that she would be there as soon as she got everyone to leave.

Lexa was starting to pace the room and Anya was pretty sure she was wearing out the tile floor.

"Clarke!" Hearing her mother speak made Lexa's head lift up. Clarke was walking towards them in her scrubs, scrub cap still on, looking as though she just got out of surgery. Lexa was certain she had never moved so fast.

"I'm sorry I haven't been out sooner but it was important we got the bleeding under control."

Lexa shook her head as she and her mother stood in front of the blonde doctor. "We? You're in there with him?"

"Yes, I know I shouldn't be and if you'd like me to get another doctor I will but I was the only one free when he came in. I promise you I know what I'm doing and my mother is the best."

Without another word Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Clarke and held on tight. Clarke's eyes never left Lexa's though and it was the safest she had felt since the whole thing happened. "I wouldn't want anyone else in there Clarke." Elizabeth said through a few tears.

"Sit down and I'll give you an update okay." Clarke felt Elizabeth nod as she pulled away and sat down. She kneeled in front of both Callaway women and took Elizabeth's hands in her own. She explained what had happened and what they were doing to fix it. She tried to tell them as much as she could before kissing Elizabeth on the forehead and offering Lexa a soft smile. "I'll send someone out to update you as soon as I can."

"Will you do it?" Elizabeth asked, "will you update us."

Clarke nodded. "I can do that." She went to walk away and was half way down the hall when she felt fingers graze her arm. Turning around she felt Lexa wrap her arms around her and she couldn't help but do the same in return. "Everything is going to be okay, I'm here now and I promise you it will be okay. You are one of the strongest people I know. So use your stubbornness and keep telling yourself that it's going to be okay, because it is." Lexa nodded as Clarke held her at arms length. "I'll come back out soon."

Lexa shook her head. "Do you have to go? Can you stay and talk me through it so that it makes sense because it doesn't make sense. I need it to make sense."

It took a minute but Clarke finally nodded. "Of course." She knew how Lexa's mind worked and she also knew that her mother would be okay without her for a little while. "Let's go sit down though because I'm the tiles already need to be replaced from where you were pacing." Lexa looked up at her with a questioning look.

'How did you know I was pacing?"

Clarke chuckled softly as she wrapped and arm around Lexa's shoulder as they walked and gently rubbed up and down her back. "You pace when you're anxious and you don't know what to do." Lexa nodded as they rounded the corner and sat down in an empty hallway.

"This isn't the waiting room."

"You didn't want to be in the waiting room. So we'll sit here, I'll explain what's going on and then I'll walk you back. You can make sense of it to momma C and I'll go finish helping my mom."

Lexa nodded as she leaned her head on Clarke's shoulder without thinking. "You're a real life doctor."

Clarke let out a soft laugh. "I'm a real life doctor."

She waited a minute for Lexa's breathing to even out before going over exactly what was happening in the operating room and what she would be doing once she went back in.

"I know you hate me, hell I hate me right now but thank you for being here, for talking it out with me."

"I could never hate you Lexa and you don't have to thank me for doing my job.

 **XOXO**

 _5.5 Years Ago_

 _Clarke woke up to the sound of an alarm going off. She groaned as it kept beeping. "Babe, turn it off." She grumbled into Lexa's neck where her head was lying._

" _Mmm." Was all Lexa could manage to get out as her hand reached out and hit the snooze button on the alarm. She felt Clarke get closer to her, if that was even possible. Their limbs were a tangled mess underneath the ruffled covers but somehow Clarke managed to get closer. "I have to get up."_

" _No." Clarke whined as she felt Lexa start to run her fingertips down her exposed back._

" _I told you I'm here for business, means I have to do business."_

" _Business can wait until after we've had morning sex." Lexa raised an eyebrow, her eyes still closed and Clarke's fingers gently ran across Lexa's bare stomach, pulled her closer._

" _Morning sex eh?" She grinned as she kissed the top of her girlfriend's head._

 _Clarke nodded as she ran her finger tips down Lexa's thigh. "Mhmm."_

" _Ugh, I really do have to get up though."_

 _Clarke shook her head. "What if I told you, you still have two hours before you have to even think about getting up?"_

" _What do you mean?" Lexa lifted her head off the bed and looked over at the clock._

" _I may have changed the time the clock so that I could have you all to myself this morning."_

 _Lexa smirked and rolled her girlfriend over so that she was now straddling her. "Sneaky Griffin."_

" _But so worth it." Clarke grinned as she opened her eyes and looked up at Lexa. Her hands moving down to grab the back of Lexa's thighs._

" _That's going to cost you."_

 _Clarke grinned. "I was hoping it would."_

 _Two hours later, Lexa's second alarm sounded. Turning it off as quickly as she could she slipped from underneath the covers as the morning sun shined in through the blinds. She looked back at her girlfriend as she started to change into some clothes. She wished she could draw the way Clarke could because she wanted to remember how the blonde looked in this moment. Peacefully sleeping, blonde hair sprawled out onto her pillow, arms stretched across the bed where Lexa had been lying moments earlier. Lexa knew she couldn't be more in love if she tried. Being apart from Clarke had taught her one very important thing, she never wanted to be apart from her again once they were both done school. It didn't matter where they were as long as they were together._

 _When she came back from her shower she smiled at the Clarke's still sleeping form. She put her navy blue pencil skirt on and a white tank top as she looked around for her matching blazer. She was attempting to dry her hair some more when she heard Clarke start to stir. Smiling she looked over and saw her smiling up at her with the cutest sleepy grin she had ever seen. Leaning over she gave her a soft peck on the lips before kissing the tip of her nose then her forehead._

" _I hate that you have to go, do you have to go?"_

 _Lexa grinned like a fool. "Sadly I do, being an adult sucks. I'll be back before you know it and tomorrow we can spend the whole day in bed. I love you beautiful."_

" _Love you." Clarke mumbled into Lexa's pillow as she pulled it toward herself._

 ** _XOXO_**

Two hours later Clarke walked back out into the waiting room. Costia was sitting next to Elizabeth, Anya and Octavia, Lexa had taken to stand against the back wall. Lexa moved from the wall immediately after seeing Clarke. She watched as she took her scrub cap off and waited for her to speak even though she didn't have to say a word, Lexa already knew what she was going to say.

 **TBC…**

 _ **A/N:**_ _I know, I know, I'm a big ol meany. Hope you all like it even though I feel like I'm going to need to get much better at catching rocks. Thank you all so much for your kind words, I really truly read every single comment and I'm slowly getting the hang of this whole tumblr thing so I've been answering everyones questions over there too. I'm also going to try and start posting some BTS stuff, where I get my ideas from on there as well if anyone is interested._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Lexa instantly wrapped her arms around the blonde doctor and kissed her forehead without thinking about what she was doing. Turning around she looked at her mother who was standing beside them very confused.

"He's going to be fine, he'll need a lot of rest and a lot time to recover but he's as tough as ever." Clarke smiled. She liked when she got to give good news, especially when it was a patient she cared about. "My mom is cleaning up and then she'll be with him during recovery, you should be able to see him in the next couple of hours as long as he stays stable and I'll be here all night, and I will check in on him myself when I can."

Her face went into shock as both Callaway women wrapped their arms around her. "You're the greatest doctor in the whole world." Lexa whispered into her ear.

"That would be my mother, I only helped a tiny bit."

"You were there, he loves you like you are his own daughter and you helped more than a tiny bit Clarke."

Clarke smiled at Elizabeth as Costia finally moved next to Lexa and wrapped her arms around the slightly taller woman's waist. "I have to get back to work but if you need anything at all, please ask one of the nurses to page me, I'll come running."

They watched as Clarke walked away, giving a small wave to Octavia and Anya before she turned the corner.

"We're going to head out, does anyone need or want anything before we do?" Anya asked as she moved in to give Elizabeth and then Lexa a hug.

"No thanks dear, but thank you for staying."

Lexa shook her head as well. "Thank you both," she looked at Octavia who nodded.

"Don't mention it."

 **XOXO**

Two hours later Abby comes to get them but tells them that only one person is allowed in the room at a time because she's breaking hospital policy by letting anyone in. They nod and Lexa tells her mother to go in.

She's sitting in the waiting room chair, still in her dress and heels with Costia's head on her shoulder. "You should go home and get some rest."

"I'm okay, I'm not tired." Costia lifts her head off Lexa's shoulder.

"What's wrong? Dad's going to be okay?" Lexa says with a smile.

"It's nothing." Is all Costia can say.

Lexa gives her a worried look. "Talk to me, what is it?"

"I tried everything to get you to not get on that bike but you weren't listening."

Lexa's eyes softened as her hand came up to hold the side of Costia's neck. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, it's all a haze to me."

"It's not that, do you know what Octavia said to get you to step back?" Lexa shook her head and Costia could tell she was being honest. "She told you that your mother and Clarke would kill you if she let you get on that bike, and that she'd drive you on the bike instead."

Lexa closed her eyes and tried to remember but she couldn't. She barely remembers getting to the hospital. "I'm sorry Cos but you have to trust me when I say that there is nothing between Clarke and I."

"I know, it's just the way you gravitate towards her. You don't even mean too."

"You're right and I'm sorry, I really am. It's not something I realized."

Costia nodded as she leaned her head back down on Lexa's shoulder. "I know you don't. Lately I've been feeling like I come second, like I'm the backup plan and now really isn't the time to talk about this because all that matters is that Jeff is okay."

"Thank you, for being here, for taking care of things back at the house. You aren't second and I'm sorry you think that but that's not how it is. Now that she's home it's weird, I forgot our intertwined our lives are here. There's a long family history between the two of us but that's all it is. History, of the past."

Costia let out a small laugh and a yawn. "You're such a nerd."

"I like to read, it's fun. Now please go home, get some rest for the both of us. I'll be okay here but I'll feel much better knowing you're getting some sleep especially with your case tomorrow."

"I don't mind staying."

"I appreciate that more than you know but please, take the car home, get some rest. Love you."

"I love you, more than anything." Lexa smiled and stood up to kiss Costia one last time before she left. She watched her leave before taking a deep breath and swallowing the lump in her throat. She slumped back down into the chair, she was drained and her feet hurt way too bad to stand anymore.

"Hey, Lexa, wakey wakey." She let out a yawn as she started to wake up. "Lex." The nickname came out easily, too easily for Clarke's liking. She was still mighty pissed, angry, and hurt but she had more than one rule, and maybe it was her most important rule. No matter what you put your anger aside when your family was hurting and as much as Clarke hated to admit it the Callaway's were her family, Lexa to a degree was still her family.

"Clarke?"

"The bear wakes, you can see your dad now." Lexa nods, still in her half asleep haze. "I'll walk you there."

Lexa shook her head. "It's okay I can find it I'm sure you have lives to save."

"Stop arguing. Where's Costia? Should we wait for her?"

The brunette shivered. "No, no, I sent her home hours ago. She has a case tomorrow, she needed sleep and I hate people fussing over me but I guess you kinda knew that."

Clarke offers her a gentle smile in response as they make their way onto the elevator. They fall into somewhat of an awkward silence but it was nowhere near as awkward as it should have been. In times of trouble they always seemed to set everything else aside.

"The room is straight down the hall, left hand side, room 12. If you need anything, ask the nurses, they'll get it for you."

Lexa walked off the elevator and turned back around to face Clarke almost as the doors were closing. "Thank you, Clarke. For everything."

"It's my job, no need to thank me. Give Jeff a hug for me and tell him I'll come see him soon.

 **XOXO**

 _6.5 Years Ago_

" _Who invented winter because they seriously need to be bitch slapped with an icicle._

"So much anger." Clarke grinned, her mitten covered hand trying to figure out the best way to hold Lexa's.

 _Lexa scowled with a pout. "No pouting."_

" _I'll pout if I want to because my face is frozen in this position. Couldn't you have picked a med school in, I don't know, Hawaii or Maui?" She shivered and sniffled slightly. She definitely wasn't used to the cold._

 _Clarke leaned into her girlfriends arm, pulling them as close together as she could. "But it's almost Christmas which means, fun window shopping and building gingerbread houses."_

 _Lexa pulled her hat as far down as she could in order to trap in some of the heat. "Or we could go be on a beach somewhere, all nice and warm. Bikini bodies on full display but no instead we're window shopping and freezing." If she was being honest Lexa really didn't mind the window shopping or walking the streets and exploring with Clarke but she really, truly, with every fiber of her being hated the cold._

" _If your cold it just means I can warm you up later." Clarke grins and Lexa remembers how much she loves that grin and hates the fact that she can no longer see it everyday, though they make it a habit to try. "You know, by the fireplace, spiked egg nog, your favourite Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer cartoon on the tv."_

" _Okay okay you win but I expect a lot of cuddling." Clarke grins wider than Lexa has seen in awhile and she doesn't need anything else because her heart feels like it's on fire in the best possible way. She'd deal with the cold for Clarke because she wouldn't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. She promises herself to make Christmas in New York their new tradition, even if that means she has to deal with the cold._

 _XOXO_

Lexa sat next to her dad's bed for a while, holding his hand as he and her mother slept. She watched over them both, a tight feeling in her chest. All she could think about was how time didn't stop and that the world didn't slow down and wait for you to catch up to it. She thought about how much she had been working and how this wasn't what she expected her life to be.

At some point around 3 a.m. Lexa wakes up because of a pain in her neck but she realizes she's no longer cold. Which is good because she hates the cold. When she opens her eyes it's too her mother smiling at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep, is everything okay?"

Her mother nods. "Everything is fine dear, you needed the sleep."

"You know we're your parents right? Not the other way around?"

She looks over at the voice and she has the hold back the tears that are threatening to come out. She can't speak, not yet because she knows if she does she'll start crying. "I know dad."

"Where's that other daughter of mine? I need to thank her for saving my ass."

Elizabeth shook her head with a slight laugh. "She said she'd be back in later to check on you."

"Clarke was here?"

"About an hour ago, how do you think you got the blanket? She also left some clothes for you, she said she was sorry but that's all she had in her locker." She looks over on the table to find a pair of sweat pants and a Columbia Medical sweater.

There was a gentle knock at the door and Lexa looked up hopeful but to her dismay it was the wrong doctor Griffin. Abby apologized for coming in so late but that she wanted to check in and let the Callaway's know she was headed home for the night.

Lexa excused herself to change into what Clarke had left her because as much as she wanted to be stubborn she was no longer comfortable sitting around the hospital in her dress and heels.

"You okay Lexie?" Abby asked once Lexa came out of the wash room.

"As okay as I can be."

Abby smiled and motioned for her to meet her in the hall. "I didn't just mean with your dad, I mean with everything else." It took a minute but Lexa nodded.

"It's weird but I'm glad she's home, I know you've missed her."

"I have, but I know you have too. I'm not saying that in a 'you were almost engaged to my daughter' way but in a concerned mother way because engaged or broken up you are still another daughter to me. I've watched you grow into an amazing woman and I want you to know how proud of you I am regardless of what happened between you and Clarke. I know I've said it before but I also know how hard all of this is on you. You were the only person who understood how it was when she left."

"I'm okay. It's a little hard to believe, that she's back, that she's here, that she's a doctor and all her dreams came true but I'm happy for her. I really am, this is everything she always wanted."

Abby held back the 'almost everything' that was begging to slip out. "Come with me, I want to show you something."

Lexa looked back at her parents through the glass and nodded in Abby's direction before following her. Five minutes later, on the other side of the hospital Abby led her up a small flight of stairs. When she walked into the room with the large glass window she could have sworn she walked into a scene on Grey's Anatomy.

"Stay in the back row of seats and she won't see you but I wanted you to see what you helped her accomplish. I know you like knowing how things work and this is how she works. Though I don't know how she manages to listen to such crappy music sometimes." Abby laughed as they heard the sound of bass and beats coming from downstairs. "She says it helps keep her alert. I much prefer when she's listening to Motown."

Lexa lets out a laugh she wasn't aware she had been holding as she looked down at Clarke, hands bloody, surgical tools in hand. A smile on her face and Lexa was sure she was probably singing the words to the song even though there weren't many. "Thank you, Abby."

"Anytime. Don't stay up here too long and if you get caught, you found it all on your own."

Lexa nodded. " I understand."

She stays and watches Clarke for nearly two hours before going back down to her father's room. Abby had been right, watching Clarke work did make it all feel more real. Clarke really truly was home, and as Lexa watched her work she realized that they weren't the same people they were four years ago.

 **XOXO**

Lexa wakes up to the feeling of movement next to her. She figures it's just a nurse and keeps her eyes closed. Dreams were so much easier than reality currently and she wanted to stay in her dream haze for just a little while longer.

"You're staring again." She says a few minutes later, somewhat unsure as to why her half asleep self let the words actually come out. When she opens her eyes she can see the smallest of smiles and blonde hair.

"Sorry." It was no louder than a whisper but Lexa had heard it as felt herself let out a slight content sigh.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Senior Year_

 _They had decided to come home for spring break even though that meant leaving their apartment empty and sleeping in different places. Even though they knew they would more than likely end up having juvenile sleepovers every night. Especially with the way Abby worked, it left a lot of time for Clarke to spend at Lexa's. And that's what she did, except when she was hanging out with Raven and her friends._

 _They were healthy in that way. They loved being together but they also loved spending time with their friends, even if it meant that they wouldn't see the other all day. It kept them wanting more of each other._

 _"You're staring again." Lexa croaked out as she stretched her back with a yawn where she was lying on the lawn chair. The warmth of the sun on her skin had put her to sleep in the early hours of the afternoon._

 _"You like it when I stare at you." She smiled as she heard Clarke's voice and felt her move closer. She felt a cold wet drop of water hit her bare stomach causing her eyes to fly open with a scowl as she felt Clarke straddle her waist._

 _"You're going to pay for that, I was all warm and toasty."_

 _Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck as they sat pressed together. "I was hoping you'd say that but come on, we need to go get ready for the bonfire tonight."_

 _"So you woke me up, got me wet only to tell me we have to go and put clothes on?"_

 _Clarke raised an eyebrow and a mischievous grin on her face. "I got you wet did I?"_

 _"Get your mind out of the gutter. You literally got me wet Clarke, such a perv." They both laughed as they stood up from the lawn chair._

 _"If I recall last night correctly, you seem to like it."_

 _xoxo_

 _Hours later they sat on the beach in front of a small fire. It had been a spring break tradition that they had all started back in junior high. Except back then Clarke and Lexa never sat so close to each other. Now Lexa's back was pressed into Clarke's chest, her arms sat on Clarke's legs that were stretched out on either of her as Clarke's arms held her around the waist._

 _"Your hair smells good." Clarke mumbled as Monty played something on his guitar._

 _Lexa leaned her head back on Clarke's shoulder and looked up at her girlfriend with a smile as a flash went off, it didn't pull their attention away. "I took a shower, just for you." They shared a laugh before Clarke leaned and connected their lips in a soft kiss that didn't last as long as they would have liked. Another flash. "Seriously Ray-Ray? Clarke looked up at her best friend with a shake of her head._

 _"Be adorable somewhere else then. One day you'll thank me for my incredible photo taking skills."_

 _"You mean photography skills?" Lexa questioned with the raise of an eyebrow._

 _"No, I said what I want to the first time, smart asses." Raven huffed as she took a swig of her beer._

 _"You want another one?" Lexa asked her girlfriend, referring to the drink in Raven's hand. Clarke smiled and gave her a wink as Lexa stood up._

 _It wasn't until she was walking back from the where the cooler was, two beers in her hand that she realized the hoodie Lexa had been wearing all night. It was dark grey, and she wasn't sure how she missed the bolded blue letters that said COLUMBIA and the smaller letters that said medical. She had gotten a letter from the school a week ago but couldn't bring herself to open. In the craziness of being home she had forgotten that she gave it to Lexa and told the other woman to open it for her._

 _Lexa handed her a beer. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Lexa asked looking around to see if she was missing out on something behind herself._

 _"I got in? I got into Columbia?" Lexa grinned at Clarke's realization._

 _"You got in." She confirmed as the look of shock wore off and was replaced by a look of excitement. She nearly fell over when Clarke jumped up and wrapped her arms around her neck._

 _"I got in." She yelled as everyone stopped and looked over before realizing what Clarke was talking about._

 _"I'm proud of you. You deserve it."_

 _Clarke grinned as Lexa spun her around. "Do I get to keep the sweater? With you in it of course."_

 _Lexa nodded. "You get to keep the sweater, me and it will keep you warm in New York."_

 _"You're the best." Clarke mumbled into Lexa's neck as they held on to each other a little while longer._

XOXO

"I'm sorry, I just came to check his vitals and make sure you were all doing alright."

Lexa rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with the back of her hand. She found the blanket around herself once again and realized that it wasn't her mother who had draped it over her but the woman standing in the door way.

"I thought nurses usually did that?" Lexa asked, slightly confused, still mostly asleep.

"They usually do, except when I tell them I'll take care of it myself. I'll let you go back to sleep." With that she turned and left the room, closing the door behind herself.

"You're still here? That seems like a long shift." Clarke turned in the quiet empty hallway at the sound of Lexa's voice.

Clarke nodded as she tried to ignore the sweater she had given Lexa to wear. "It's been a busy night, I'm not sure when I'll be done to be honest but I don't mind. I'm about to try and get a nap in."

They stayed silent for long moments, unsure of what to say. "Your mom told us. You said it was her that did most of the work in the operating room, she told us it was you that found the tear and you that fixed it."

Clarke didn't know what to say. She was never good at taking credit for doing her job, which was one reason why she had said that Abby had done most of it. "I saw you, in the gallery, I take it that was my mothers idea?"

"I think she knew I was still freaking out."

"And now?" Clarke took a step forward so they weren't so far apart, "Are you still freaking out?"

Lexa took a deep breath. "No, I trust you to take care of him in there and you did. You really are amazing at this, watching you work made it real and for whatever it may be worth, even if it's nothing, I have to say it." Clarke knew what was coming but she braced herself for it anyway. "I am so proud of you."

 **TBC…**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Gross, I don't understand how you watch that show while you're eating." Costia shakes her head at Lexa as she walks by the living on her way to the kitchen. Lexa had decided to stay at her apartment to be closer to her dad who was going to be in the hospital for the next couple days.

"It's only a skeleton with some bugs coming out of the eye sockets." Lexa laughs as she takes another bite of her cereal, eyes still trained on the television. She really didn't see the big deal in watching Bones and eating but Costia hated it and though it probably shouldn't it made Lexa laugh every time.

"It's gross. Tell your dad I'll be by with some of his favourite cookies later today." Lexa laughs some more at the disgusted noise Costia makes as she looks at the television.

"You know just because he's in the hospital, doesn't mean he isn't still on his diet."

"He's lost 50 pounds, I think he's doing just fine, besides Clarke's keeping an eye on him."

Lexa put her cereal bowl down on the table. "You saw Clarke?"

Costia nodded. "She was checking in on him when I brought him lunch. We spoke briefly, very briefly." She answered as she put her last earring in.

"And…"

"And nothing, there isn't much to say between the current girlfriend and the ex girlfriend. She gave me a small update and was very professional. I totally get it, I didn't realize how hot she really was. It's the lab coat, does wonders."

Lexa rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her girlfriend before turning back towards the television. "Should ask her out for coffee then."

"Are you jealous that I said your ex is hot." She snuck up before Lexa and kissed the top of her head.

"Totally, how can I compete with a lab coat!"

"Well you managed to up grade it to a…" Costia leaned over Lexa's back and read her sweater "… a Columbia hoodie that I've never seen before?"

Lexa continued to eat her cereal as she looked down at the hoodie she was wearing. "I meant to tell you about that and I didn't realize this was what I put on this morning." Costia raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Clarke gave me some clothes to wear at the hospital the other night because I was wearing that really tight dress that isn't as comfortable as I thought it was. Actually she gave the clothes to my mom to give to me and I meant to wash them and leave them at the hospital for her but I clearly need sleep."

Costia smiled and pecked Lexa's on the lips. "It's fine, blue looks good on you gorgeous. I have to get to my meeting, call me if you want to meet for dinner and seriously gross." She pointed at the charred remains on the television. "Sometimes I don't know why I love you." She said as she headed towards the door.

"Because I'm amazing!" Lexa yelled after her as she went back to watching her show. She didn't take the sweater off for another two hours.

 **XOXO**

"How cute are you giving her your clothes to wear." Octavia mocked as she sat in the Griffin's hot tub with Raven and Clarke. Each of them with a large glass of wine in their hand.

"Technically she gave her her own sweater to wear." Clarke's eyes went wide as she looked at her childhood best friend.

Octavia smiled, she loved when Raven unintentionally let things slip that she didn't know about. "Do tell princess." Clarke sipped on her wine and shook her head. "Raven would you do the honours then?"

"I would love too!" Raven grinned before going into the story of how Lexa bought the hoodie for Clarke to tell her she got into Columbia.

"It seems you haven't told me quite a lot and I thought we were soul sisters." They all let out a loud tipsy laugh.

"I just can't seem to avoid her, no matter how hard I try."

Raven shrugged as she finished her glass. "Ever thought that maybe life is trying to tell you that you shouldn't be trying so hard to avoid her because it's like the harder you try the more she shows up."

"Raven's right, considering how much you both work you would think it next to impossible that you would randomly run into each other yet it literally happens all the time."

"Pass me the bottle." Octavia and Raven both looked at their friend. "Yes, the whole bottle, I've had a long couple of weeks, pass it over."

"Why is it she was so attuned to you at the hospital, she literally avoided her own girlfriend."

It was Raven's turn to look at Octavia. "Mhmm, girl she was all locked in on our resident blonde. They even took off together for like a half an hour."

"It wasn't that long."

"Actually I think it was longer."

"Stop the banter and speak so I can comprehend after," she held up the a bottle of wine, "two and half bottles of wine."

"Lexa was freaking out so I talked her down."

Raven nodded. "Typical, you were always good at that."

"What she isn't mentioning is that she totally blew past her girlfriend to talk to her Clarke."

Clarke shook her head and drank a little more, her head starting to feel a little dizzy. "You'd be surprised how often that happens, people focus in on the doctors like we have all the answers. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. It wasn't unusual behaviour for someone who just found out that their father had a myocardial infarction…" she received two entirely blank stares, "…a heart attack."

"I hate that when you get drunk, you start speaking all medical and nerdy."

"You're one to talk, you start talking about rocket science, actual fucking rocket science, and before you say anything," she looked over at Octavia who was pointed at herself, "yes you. When you get drunk you talk about shooting people and all the codes you have. Might I remind you of you yelling at me at our last party. 'We have a 947 Clarke, Clarke there's another 947."

"947?" Raven asked as she reached back and grabbed the last bottle of wine.

"Code for suspicious person, every time someone walked into the apartment, that's what she yelled. She invited everyone that came in so I don't know why they were all suspicious. Oh and then there was the guy riding his bike when you went outside to get some air."

"958." They said in unison with a laugh, again leaving Raven clueless.

"High speed chase. She went after the guy… on a skateboard."

Octavia raised her hands. "To serve and protect."

"Don't take offense though O, Clarke and Lexa are good at hiding things."

Octavia watched as Clarke rolled her eyes. "Whatever, get over it, it was so long ago. I'm sorry I didn't call you in the middle of my orgasm."

"Woah! Go back, what?" Octavia downed the last of her glass and held it out to Raven.

"They hid their relationship for awhile. Didn't tell me right after they kissed or anything. Rude."

 **XOXO**

USC – Freshman Year – Christmas

" _Do they think we don't know?" Elizabeth asked as she and Abby looked out the back window of the Callaway home to find Clarke and Lexa lying out in the pool on two floating chairs side by side. Clarke had Lexa's hand in one of hers and was pointing at it with the other._

" _I'm not sure they know yet." Both women looked back out at the their daughters. They watched as they laughed and playfully flirted, at least that's what it looked like to them._

" _Remember how we always talked about if one of us had a boy and the other a girl they'd make the perfect couple? Maybe, we'll get our dream after all." Elizabeth grinned._

" _What are you two staring at back there, are there more construction workers?" Jeff joked as he set his briefcase onto the kitchen island before moving next to his wife and friend. "Why are you two watching the girls?"_

 _Elizabeth rolled her eyes at her husband with a laugh. "We think they may have a thing." Abby answered with a smile of her own as the girls got out of the pool and wrapped themselves in towels before sitting down on the bench swing._

" _What? No way, they've never been close and that's saying a lot since they grew up together." He looked out at the two girls again and watched as Clarke laughed and then set her head down on Lexa's shoulder._

" _A lot changes in university, that's how you ended up with me. Best part of your post secondary studies."_

 _Jeff snorted before kissing his wife and going upstairs. "Don't stare at them too hard or you may scare them apart." He told the two women as he left the room with the shake of his head. He'd never admit it then but he secretly always hoped his daughter would end up with someone like Clarke, level headed, fun, intelligent, beautiful with a kind a heart but it'd be even better if it was Clarke that she ended up with. He smiled thinking about it as he made his way upstairs._

 ** _xoxo_**

" _You two have totally made out!" Anya blurted as they all sat down to eat dinner in Lexa's backyard. She looked between her two friends as Lexa finally sat down and it seemed way to obvious._

" _What are you on about now Anya?" Lexa questioned as she looked at Clarke with a shake of her head._

" _You," she pointed at Clarke and "you," she pointed at Lexa, "have been making out behind my back! Don't you think E?"_

 _Echo studied her two friends for a second, looking back and forth at them for a couple minutes. "Holy shit, she's totally right! What the hell Lexa!"_

" _What's all the yelling about back here? I can hear you from the driveway." Raven laughed as she stole a fry off Clarke's plate before sitting down next to Anya. "Holy shit you two are having sex! You're totally boning each other." She spit out before anyone could answer her question._

" _What?" Clarke sort of laughed as her and Lexa's eyes went wide at Raven's comment. "Seriously what is with you guys?"_

" _You think they're sleeping together? I just thought they had made out that's what I was yelling at them." Anya said as she leaned over and explained the situation to Raven who continued to eat of Clarke's plate._

" _No, they're totally sleeping together, I know because Clarke keeps giving Lexa bedroom eyes and Lexa keeps giving Clarke heart eyes."_

 _Lexa shook her head. "You're all crazy and I don't know why I came home for Christmas."_

" _Agreed. Next time we'll stay at school." Clarke affirmed her statement with a nod as she took a bite of her burger, trying not to look up at Lexa._

" _Yeah so you can keep getting it on. So who's bed is more comfortable?"_

 _Clarke glared at her best friend. "Fuck off."_

" _Nope you two are clearly doing that enough for all of us."_

 _Clarke and Lexa both shook their heads. "Seriously you two how many times a day are you going at it?" Echo chimed in as they all laughed._

 _ **xoxo**_

 _A couple hours later they were all sitting in Lexa's living room, drinking egg nog and enjoying their annual Christmas party. All night Anya, Raven and Echo had been making comments to the two USC freshmen who either avoided their quips or laughed them off but now that the drinks were flowing it was getting harder for Clarke to ignore her friends._

" _Okay, yes, we kissed! Get over it! ." She yelled a little too loudly as the song changed, causing everyone to turn and look at her including Lexa who was across the room talking to one of her other friends. Their glances met and Clarke gave her a 'sorry' look but it only made the other woman smile._

" _I knew it!" Anya yelled back with a laugh as she high fived Echo._

 _Raven raised an eyebrow at her friend without saying a word. "Okay, fine we're sleeping together too! She's hot, get off my back about it because you've put on the freshman fifteen and you're way too heavy." Raven laughed and put up her middle._

" _How long Clarke?" Clarke shook her head and pretended to zip her mouth shut. "Lexa how long?" No answer. "Fine, fine, leave your ol' pal Raven out of the loop. See what happens when I spill all your secrets."_

 _Clarke's eyes went wide. "You wouldn't."_

" _Oh but I would."_

" _What am I missing?" Anya studied her two friends and knew that their best friend code was on the verge of being broken._

" _One." A pause. "Two." Another pause. "Three. Better not let me get to five Clarke."_

" _Lexa, a little help here." Clarke looked at her expectantly._

" _Actually I kind of want to know what comes after five."_

" _Five!" Anya yelled impatiently._

 _They waited a few moments for Clarke or Lexa to say something but they didn't. "Clarke here, has had a crush on Lexa since the beginning of senior year. Oh and you two are standing under the mistletoe. You know the rules."_

 _Lexa looked over at Clarke, whose cheeks were a little red but it wasn't clear whether that was from Raven's admission or the alcohol. "You had a crush on me?"_

 _Clarke nodded sheepishly. "How could I not have a crush on the bad ass Commander?"_

" _Why didn't you ever tell me?"_

 _The blonde shrugged. "I tried to drop a few hints but I figured you weren't into it so I left it alone."_

" _Don't say it." Lexa said without taking her eyes off of Clarke._

" _Don't say what? You can't say that and not expect a girl to fill us in. Anya, I'm certain that was directed at you. Talk."_

 _Anya grinned. "I told you so you fucking dumb idiot! Blind as a bat you are!"_

" _You know I had a crush on her?"_

 _Anya nodded as she drank the rest of her drink. "It was pretty clear, just not to this one over here."_

" _You had a crush on me?"_

" _I had a crush on you for like a minute senior year."_

" _And now?" Raven and Anya looked at their friends and shook their heads, it was clear that they didn't care about anyone else in the room at the moment._

" _Now I think you're alright."_

" _Just alright?" Clarke nodded. "Maybe I can change your mind about that." Lexa went to lean in towards Clarke but before she could she felt a half on her side pulled her closer and Clarke's familiar lips on hers._

" _Mhmm, just alright." Clarke winked before taking in Raven's look. "I hate you."_

" _No, you'll really hate me if you don't fess up because I have way more dirt on you."_

 _Lexa was intrigued and was tempted to let it go on until she saw the look Clarke's face. "Two months." She spit out before Clarke could say anything. "Happy now?"_

" _Two months Clarke! Two months and you didn't tell me?"_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes as Lexa pulled Anya away, not wanting to be anywhere near the best friends. "What did you want me to do call you during?"_

" _Yes!"_

 _The blonde leaned her head back with a laugh. "It was too damn good for me to even think about forming coherent sentences."_

" _It wasn't that good the first time."_

 _Clarke's swallowed the lump in the throat as she thought back to their first time. "It so was, and it's only gotten better since then."_

" _We need to have a serious conversation when the room isn't full of people. A serious conversation! For now, I need to go refill my drink and let me head wrap around all this information." Raven walked away with a shake of her head as she tried to process what Clarke had just told her._

" _You know, I expect to find out what it was Raven was going to say one day as a price for saving you." Lexa whispered in her ear._

" _Never." Clarke grinned as she leaned her head back on Lexa's shoulder._

 **XOXO**

Three days later Clarke found herself sitting in a coffee shop near the hospital waiting for the rain to stop. It was an all out downpour, something she was used to in New York but not in L.A. She watched as the rain continued to pour, the news was saying this was going to be the worst storm that the Los Angeles area saw in years. The sky was booming, the rain drops were bouncing off the ground after impact. She had only left work an hour ago but had every intention of going back in as soon as she could because she knew the storm was going to cause a massive issue.

"Odd place to watch the rain." Clarke's head whipped around after she shook her head.

"Seriously? And not really, I was on my way home from work when this happened."

Lexa smiled. "Seriously. I swear I'm not stalking you, I too just let work and since I practically own this building, I technically own the coffee shop attached to it as well.

"What? No, I didn't…" She let herself trail off as she took a better look at the lobby. She had definitely stepped into the only building in the city she wanted to avoid. "I did." She watched as Lexa nodded.

"They say this thing is going to last all night, already talking about people being without power."

Clarke smiled. "You're father is doing well, he should be able to go home in the next couple days but I'm sure you already knew that."

"I did." Lexa smiled with a slight nod. She really did hate that it was so awkward between them. "But thank you!"

"My job and I happen to be very good at it. I should probably head out though, I've been here long enough. Time to go back to said job."

"You can't go out there, it's a mess, why don't you come back to my place? It's just down the street a couple of blocks, you can clean up and then be on your way. Hopefully the storm will be done by then and you won't get sick. Can't help the ill if you aren't well yourself." There it was again, her nervous rambling. As soon as the invitation came out of her mouth all she wanted to do was throw her hand over her mouth, smile through it and walk away.

"It's okay, thank you for the offer Have a good day." Clarke stood up and threw her cup in the garbage before stepping outside, ready to brace the conditions.

Five minutes later Clarke heard the beeping off a car horn, only to look to her left and see Lexa , head practically out the window like a dog. "Get in the can Griffin, or I'm calling your mother and then mine!" Clarke thought about her options as the car came to a stop. She was already soaking went and tired as all hell. She didn't know why she had told Lexa that she was going back to the hospital the words just sort of seemed to flow out of her mouth. "Cab! Now!" Lexa threw the driver open and Clarke decided that if they were going to try and be cordial she could at least take up the free offer.

"Okay, okay, to your house." She didn't like the idea, she didn't want to say yes but she had and now she found herself sitting in the back of the cab with her ex-girlfriend as the storm waged on. It was the middle of the day, yet the sky looked black and Clarke knew that that always meant trouble, really bad trouble.

 **TBC…**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** I have to dedicate this chapter to my very own Motivational Anon! Thank you friend for keeping me on track and having some great words of wisdom!

 **C** **hapter 13**

Lexa opened the cab door once they stopped at her apartment. She took a deep breathe before running out the cab to the cover of the entryway. It took a minute but Clarke soon followed as they crammed themselves into the small door way. Even though the run from the cab to the door was short they were both soaked as the rain continued to assault the pavement.

Lexa let them into the complex, only to find that all the lights were off. "Great." She mumbled to no one in particular as she reached her hand out until she found Clarke's hand in the dark. She felt the other woman flinch slightly but more than that she felt the warmth of the other woman's hand radiate through her entire body. She practically pulled her down the hall way and up the stairs, only being led by the light of her the flash on her cell phone.

After going up three flights of stairs they finally reached Lexa's apartment. She opened the door and let Clarke in first before walking in herself and closing the door. Clarke stood frozen in the foyer, not sure of what to do. She really hadn't thought this through, all was thinking about was not dying in the storm. A little dramatic sure but a little flair never hurt anyone.

"I'll get you some dry clothes to change into." Lexa said before walking off down the dark hallway.

"Great, just great Griffin, you've trapped yourself in an apartment with your ex-girlfriend." She spoke to herself in the dark as her eyes started to adjust to the lack of light.

A minute later Lexa appeared with clothes in hand. "I was going to bring these home for you but this seems like a better way." Clarke took the blue Columbia sweater and USC track pants out of Lexa's hands. Washroom is the second door on the left. I lit a candle in there so you'd be able to see."

Clarke nodded. "Thank you." She slowly made her way down the hall and into the washroom. She steadied herself again the sink, she really never thought she'd be standing here in Lexa's apartment when she made her way home. She held the necklace that hiding under her shirt and shook her head. At least she was close enough to the hospital so that if they called her could rush over.

 **XOXO**

An hour later the two women sat on opposite ends of Lexa's couch. Candles were lit around the room but they were few and far between. "This is far more awkward than I thought it would be after the hospital." Lexa let out as she stood up and walked over to the fridge. She came back with a full bottle of wine and two glasses and what looked like left over pizza. "It's all I have. I'm not here much, and I usually eat out when I do decide to stay here."

Clarke nodded as she looked up from her ipad. "I'd say awkward is an understatement." They both let out soft chuckles.

"Thank you for taking such good care of dad, Costia said she talked to you at the hospital."

"Yeah, and you don't have to thank me, again, just doing my job."

"Thank you for coming to moms party then. She adores you, sometimes I think more than she adores me."

Clarke shook her head no when Lexa held the bottle up to her. "Storms always mean trouble so I may get a call to go in. She doesn't adore me more than she adores you, she is so proud of you. Every time we'd have dinner or go shopping she'd accidentally mention you somehow and it was only because she couldn't help herself and your father is just as bad."

"They're great parents."

"They are, and they raised a great daughter." The admission left Lexa looking at Clarke with a shocked expression. "Despite everything that has happened, I don't hate you Lexa. You've worked hard and accomplished your goals and then some. I'm just as proud of you as you are of me."

"I appreciate that, thank you."

"Stop thanking me. We are where we are. You were right to an extent, me being angry isn't going to make things any better."

"Is that why you haven't seen you at the gym?"

Clarke laughed. "Yeah I don't go to that gym anymore. I don't mean this in a bad way but I run into you enough, I didn't need one more reason for that to happen."

"Understandable. Pizza?" Lexa offered as she flipped the box open.

"No thanks, not real hungry."

"What made you say yes, to coming here? I could see the hesitation."

The blonde shrugged and took a deep breath. "Probably the same thing that made you ask. Reflex and you live much closer to the hospital than my house."

"You really are great at your job. Watching you work was amazing, it's like an art form."

"Thanks, I've logged a lot of O.R. hours so I'm glad it's paid off."

"Congrats to you too, youngest CEO of a fortune 500 company, that's far more impressive than my operating skills."

Lexa closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch. "You heard that eh?"

"Yeah, it was kind of plastered on a few magazines around the hospital and my friends are assholes. Maya made it her duty to point it out to me quite often."

"How is Maya?"

"She's good."

The conversation went quiet after that, they really didn't know what to say to one another or how to act. It was clear that they were both trying to move forward with their lives but they could both feel something holding them back. A half an hour later, Clarke was reading something on her ipad, and Lexa was sitting on the floor, her back against the couch, files spread out over the coffee table.

When Clarke looked up she couldn't help but remember the first time they had spent time together like this. It was much less awkward then but there was something far too familiar about Lexa reading at the table, pizza box open next to her and a bottle of half empty wine.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Freshman Year_

 _Lexa closed her textbook as she got up to answer her dorm room door. "Hey, sorry to bother you. Raven mentioned that you hadn't been feeling well when I talked to her earlier so I figured I'd bring you a little big of a pick me up." Clarke smiled sheepishly as she held up the box of pizza and bottle of cheap wine._

" _You didn't have to come all the way over here to do that." Lexa said in between sniffles, she was clearly stuffed up._

" _Maybe not but I did in order to bring you the other stuff." She held up the bag that was dangling from her arm._

" _Please, come in and let me grab that." Lexa took a hold of the pizza box and stepped aside so Clarke could walk in._

 _She looked over and admired what Lexa had done with the somewhat small space. "I'm sorry did I interrupt your studying?" She asked as she took notice of the desk lamp on, textbook open on the table._

" _Oh yeah, I have a stupid test tomorrow but I welcome the break. Really, my mind hasn't absorbed anything in what feels like hours. Lexa moved the pizza box to the coffee table and set the bottle of wine down next to it. She gestured for Clarke to sit as she went over to her really small kitchenette and pulled out two regular glasses. "Sorry, no wine glasses."_

 _Clarke smiled and Lexa was sure her heart had stopped. She didn't know she could get butterflies from something smiling at her but as Clarke sat on her couch with a smile on her face butterflies were waging a battle in her stomach. "That's okay, but are you sure I'm not keeping your from studying or sleeping?"_

 _Lexa shook her head as she sat down on the floor in front of the couch and filled the two glasses. "No, trust me if you were, I would have said it. So… going to let the suspense build? What's in that bag of wonders?"_

 _Clarke laughed and reached for the bag she still had dangling from her arm. "First, we have some vicks vapour rub. Second we have some super trashy Laguna Beach magazines. Wonder if the Kim and Kanye are going to name their next child South West." Lexa couldn't help but laugh, she really had never noticed just how funny Clarke was. "Last but not least, we have the first season of Bones, something to binge watch while you're curled up getting better."_

" _You're adorable." Shit. That was not at all smooth. Or so Lexa thought because her comment earned her a shy grin as she watched Clarke's cheeks start to turn a little red._

" _Is that a legit record player?" Clarke asked as she spotted the small machine across the room._

 _Lexa took out a slice of pizza. She really had been starving but had been far too lazy to make anything. "It is, I love the crackling sound, something so soothing about it."_

" _I agree, we have one at home but I haven't used it much lately." Clarke stood up and walked across the room to look at what record was playing. "I've been really trying baby, trying to hold back this feeling for so long and if you feel like I feel baby, then come on, oh come on. Let's get it on." She sang softly as she moved back to wards the couch,_

 _Lexa sat sipping her wine as she watched Clarke sway to the music and she was certain that the blonde didn't even realize she was moving with the beat. "You like Marvin Gaye?"_

" _Love him! One of my all time favourites."_

 _Lexa grinned. "Me too, his voice is just so… perfect."_

" _Agreed." Clarke leaned forward and grabbed a slice of pizza out of the box. She wasn't sure why she was so comfortable with Lexa because she couldn't remember a time where they had spent this much alone time together._

 _They spent the next hour talking about their favourite Motown artists and songs as they finished half the wine and half the pizza. At some point Lexa had gone back to reading her textbook while Clarke had decided to pick up the magazine she had bought for Lexa. They were only sitting together but it felt like greatest thing in the world and they were both certain that something big in their lives were about to change. They just had no idea that it was going to revolve around the other woman in the room._

" _Listen baby, ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low. Ain't no river wide enough baby." Lexa mumbled as she flipped the page in her book._

 _Clarke couldn't hide the grin on her face as she heard Lexa mumbling along with the song. "If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far." She finished her sentence with a wink as Lexa looked up at her._

" _Don't worry baby."_

" _Just call my name I'll be there in a hurry, you don't need to worry."_

 _By the time the next chorus played they were both on their feet dancing along. Lexa was singing into the wine bottle and Clarke was singing into the remote Lexa had handed. They danced around the small apartment as they each continued to sing the song to the other. When the song ended they fell onto the couch in a fit of giggles. Clarke's head ended up awfully close to Lexa's and they both felt the intense surge of electricity between them._

 _Clarke had managed to take the bottle of wine out of Lexa's hands and take a long swig. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the alcohol or maybe, just maybe it was the cold medicine but no matter what it was Lexa watched as her arm reached out to take the bottle away from Clarke as she leaned in._

 _There was a warm unusual feeling in her heart when Clarke moved away instead of moving closer. "I am so sorry, I don't know what came over, I must have read it wrong. I am so sorry Clarke."_

 _The blonde reached her hand out and caressed a strand of hair behind Lexa's ear. "No you read it absolutely right. I want nothing more than to lean forward and kiss you but I want us both to be entirely sober the first time I kiss you and believe me, after tonight I really hope there will be a first time for that."_

" _Keep bringing me pizza and wine and there will definitely be first for that, even though I believe I was supposed to come over to your place."_

" _All's well that ends well?" She asked with a wink, watching Lexa's smile grow. Neither would ever admit how much their cheeks hurt at the end of the night from smiling so hard._

 **XOXO**

Clarke stood at the window, watching the sky light up. Her iPad told her it was around 9 p.m. but the colour of the sky made it seem much later than that. She heard the water stop running and a few minutes later she heard the soft sound of feet padding towards the living room on the hardwood floor.

"Still no power?" Lexa's voice was gentle in the quiet room as she walked in and saw Clarke standing at the window, wrapped up in the large sweater. It felt far too natural for Clarke to be in her apartment, too natural for her to be standing the way she was taking in the darkened city. "Getting inspiration?"

"It's oddly beautiful, the sky so bright from the lightning and the city so dark. I can hear the ambulances."

"Why haven't you gone in yet?" Lexa moved closer to the window and saw what Clarke was describing.

"My mother would kill me, she sent me home to sleep, or at least rest. The problem with having your mother as your boss."

Lexa nodded. "That couldn't have been an easy choice for you, to come back."

"It wasn't, but she's one of the best and the program is one of the best so professionally speaking it was a good opportunity."

"You miss New York?"

Clarke thought for a moment before a smile appeared across her face. "I do. It became home, I love Laguna and being closer to Raven but New York felt like it was mine. Sounds weird I know, Octavia makes fun of me for it."

"Not weird. New York fits you, and you've done well for yourself there."

"It does." Clarke looked over at Lexa and smiled before turning her attention back out the window. They fell into an easy silence as they watched the rainfall and the sky continue to light up.

"At least you aren't out running around in it this time. I much prefer watched it this way."

Clarke couldn't help the laugh that came out. "It never rains here so I had to make it count when it did."

"By dancing around on the beach?" Clarke shrugged. "I couldn't get the sand out of my hair for a week!"

"I never told you that you had to dance around in it with me!" She looked over at Lexa and waited for her response. Nothing. "That's what I thought."

"Anyone dancing around in the rain with you in New York?" Lexa wasn't sure why she asked but the words just seem to come out.

A pause. "There was someone for a little while but sometimes the first time is enough." Lexa gave her a questioning look. "Wells moved to New York, we had lunch, then dinner etc, but it never really got off the ground. We may have been much older but we weren't going to be those high school sweethearts that got married."

"I'm sorry."

Clarke laughed. "Don't be, you never liked him and it was like a year ago. No feelings were really hurt, I think we both just needed someone. Why'd you ask?"

"The song you played at the bar the other night."

"And you thought that was about someone I was seeing in New York?" Lexa nodded and Clarke only laughed. "Some things never change, you'll always be oblivious to anything right in front of you."

"What are you talking about?"

"How much of it did you hear?"

Lexa shrugged. "Enough."

"Go put your favourite Motown record on." Clarke said leaving Lexa with a questioning look.

"I can't, the powers out." A pause. "The lyrics, the song is about me?"

"Welcome to the party." Clarke moved away from the window and sat down on the couch.

"Why am I such an idiot?" She cursed herself a little louder than she had intended. "Must be part of my charm."

Clarke laughed as she leaned her head back on the couch with her eyes closed. "If you say so."

"I do."

"Want to watch a movie? I don't have much on my iPad but it's got 70 percent power and it beats sitting in awkward silence."

"I could watch a movie, since I can't get much more work done in the dark." Lexa moved towards the couch and sat down as far from Clarke as she could. She watched as Clarke moved her iPad so it sat in the middle of the coffee table.

"How's I Know What You Did Last Summer sound?"

"Should I be worried that you're going to kill me?"

Clarke shot Lexa a look as she turned the movie on. "No, if I wanted you dead Octavia and Raven would have already made that happen." She tried to joke but Lexa knew that she wasn't entirely far off from the truth.

"I'm actually surprised Octavia hasn't killed me yet so thank you."

"Your welcome, but you better tread lightly, especially since her Raven and Anya are all getting rather chummy."

"I take it that worries you as much as it worries me?"

Clarke nodded as the movie finally started. "Oh, it does."

 **XOXO**

A half hour in Lexa saw Clarke yawn out of the corner of eyes. "How long as it been since you've slept?"

"I don't know roughly 24 hours."

"So no big deal then?" Lexa let out a laugh. She was well aware of hour many hours Clarke could stay awake and fully alert. Once she went to bed though, it was like waking the dead.

"Not really, last year I think I stayed up for about 72 hours straight, when the hurricane hit. It was a total mess but so much fun. I learned so much it was amazing, I was so wired I couldn't sleep but I think I slept for a solid 20 hours after that. Octavia kept coming in to check on me." She laughed as she remembered it like it was yesterday.

"It's funny to you but you sleep like the dead. Sometimes you barely move, besides have you ever tried to wake you? It's not fun."

"You're one too talk."

"I get up when I'm supposed."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Sorry the rest of the world doesn't like getting up at the crack of dawn to go surfing. A habit that I've seen hasn't changed."

"Have you been spying on me Griffin?"

Clarke shook her head with a huff. "You wish Callaway, but when you people surf on my beach, I notice."

"Whatever, at least you woke up to a great view."

"Wrong again. I went to bed with a shitty view and it gave me nightmares."

It was Lexa's turn to roll her eyes. "Why do I argue with you?"

Clark shrugged and leaned into the couch as the room lit up as another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky. Their conversation ended there as they went back to paying attention to the small screen of Clarke's iPad.

It wasn't long after that that Lexa woke up and realized that she had fallen asleep for at least twenty minutes. Her legs were stretched out onto the coffee table in front of her but there was a weight on her legs that hadn't been there before. Coming to her senses in the dark light, the rain still crashing against the window she saw Clarke's head in her lap. Her first instinct was to get up slowly but she knew that as hard as it was to get Clarke to wake up, the slightest of movements would jar her awake. Instead she reached behind her and grabbed the small throw blanket on the back of the couch and tried her best to cover the blonde lying in her lap.

The situation should have been much more awkward but they had fallen asleep like this too many times. With one of their heads in the others lap, especially after a long day. That's when it all finally sunk in. She had ruined a perfectly good relationship because she was far too insecure, sure maybe it wasn't meant to be after all but she hadn't helped matters. Looking down at the sleeping blonde in her lap she couldn't have been beating herself up anymore. All the hurt and the pain she caused was for nothing. She tried to remind herself that she was where life wanted her to be, with who life wanted her to be with. No she wasn't in love with Clarke Griffin anymore but she knew she had to explain herself, to apologize for the damage she had caused, she had to take ownership and responsibility. Even if it meant that Clarke would never speak to her again, she need to tell her that it wasn't her fault, that going to New York was something to be proud of.

As she leaned her head back against her couch and watched the rain fall she thought of all the different ways that she could tell the other woman how sorry she was for what she had done and in every scenario it left Lexa just a little more broken. She knew they had talked about it briefly and that she shouldn't bring it up again but she couldn't help it. Clarke deserved more than what Lexa had given you the other day and more importantly four years ago.

An hour later, her leg numb from not moving Lexa felt Clarke let out a quiet yawn. It warmed her heart to hear her make such an innocent sound.

"I am so sorry!" Clarke rasped out as she immediately pulled herself away from Lexa as she woke up. "What time is it?"

"3 a.m. and don't worry about it, you were tired and no the hospital didn't call or I would have woken you. I still remember the golden rule."

Clarke pulled her knees up to her chest. "I should let you go to bed, I'm sure you've slept just as little as I have with everything you have going in."

Lexa waved her hand and shook her head slightly. "I'm alright." A few moments passed. "I met Bellamy."

The sudden sound of Lexa's voice pulled Clarke out of her daydream as she turned her attention away from the window and looked at her ex. "Yeah so we've discussed."

"I really didn't know he was Octavia's brother." Lexa could tell she wasn't making sense to Clarke as she watched the questioning look on Clarke's face grow.

"We talked about this Lexa, why are we talking about it again?" Lexa could see the tension building in Clarke and she figured that telling her during a huge storm wasn't the best idea but it was all she had.

"I didn't know what he looked like, the only pictures I had ever seen of him were of him and Octavia as kids. I saw you laughing and touching his arm, then he kissed you and I freaked out. I ran and I never looked back and I never did all the things I should done to keep you. I blamed you, I blamed you for it all. For leaving, for breaking my heart, for cheating on me but you didn't. You've never broken your rule." Tears were threatening to spill out as Clarke stood up from the couch and put her hand out to stop Lexa from doing the same.

"No, no. I must be still sleeping because this is a nightmare, it has to be because we talked about this and frankly, I never want to talk about it again."

"You said you didn't have time for it then but we have all the time in the world right now and I think we need to have this conversation." Lexa could see the anger boiling up in Clarke but she knew it was necessary, they had to get it all out there in the open if they ever wanted to be some sort of okay.

"He kissed me on the cheek that night because we were celebrating me getting engaged, we were celebrating us, getting engaged." She motioned her finger and back forth before the two of them as if there were other people standing in the room. "I trusted you, I played everything over and over in my head for longer than I'd care to admit. I blamed myself, I came home for you. How could do that to me? To us? Then not even talk to me about it? What because Costia told you I was cheating on you? God you are such an idiot. I couldn't exactly talk to Octavia or Raven about the ring because they were both in on it all. You made me feel like I ruined us, like I ruined one of the best things to ever happen to me. You made me think I broke the one heart in this world I was trying to protect and guard with every fiber of my being and now you're telling me that what? You're sorry you made a mistake? That's a pretty fucking big mistake to make Lexa. He's like my brother and one of my best friends! You never knew me at all. And I know I said part of this to you the other night but you have an tendency to not listen to things that you should be hearing loud and clear. For instance how I told you that Costia had a huge thing for you, but it was me that cheated."

She was yelling now and there wasn't much Lexa could do but take it. She deserved this, she deserved this and so much more. "For Christ's sake I came home for you, to fight for us because I went through two weeks of hell. Two weeks of you not answering the phone, a text message, an email, nothing. So you want to have this conversation here and now fine but you damn well aren't going to like it. Every possible way I tried to get a hold of you, you ignored so I got on a plane and I came back here only to find out that you ran off to Europe with some bitch from law school who wanted nothing more than to have you all to herself. Is that what you wanted to hear? That I stood there as your mom told that you have gone on a trip her. That coming back here now was hell because I knew I would run in to the two of you."

Tears streamed down both their faces and the thunder crashed and banged around them. "I saw him kiss you and his hand on your arm. I never, I…" She couldn't get the words out, there was nothing left to come out, there was nothing she could say to make it better, to fix it. "You came back for me?"

"Of course I came back for you! I was so in love with you that I would have given up my entire career if it meant I got to keep you. That's how stupid in love I was with you but let me tell you how glad I am that I don't love you anymore. I can barely even look at you. And to think that I was going to propose." She grabbed her jacket and bag with a sarcastic laugh as she headed for the door. "You cheated on me Lexa, not the other way around but I guess you got your perfect happily ever after."

"We… I…"

"Tell me you didn't sleep with her in Europe, tell me you didn't act all sweet and romantic and buy her a flower and tell her she was the most amazingly, beautiful, gorgeous, talented, breath takingly stunning woman that you had ever seen."

Lexa was standing now, closer to the window than to the door. She couldn't get too close, the blows hurt enough from where she as standing. "I would never say those things to anyone else."

"So you didn't sleep with her in Europe?" Clarke was holding back the sobs and she stalked towards Lexa, making the woman feel as small as humanly possible.

"I… I can't tell you I didn't."

Clarke nodded. "I can't believe you right now. I have no idea what you've become but I can tell you one thing. I really do not like it."

"It's not for you to like." Lexa found the will to speak.

"You're right, it's not. Enjoy your life and stay the hell out of mine. Seriously Lexa stay the fuck out of my life because looking at you right now makes me want to throw up." With that she grabbed her shoes and slammed the front door behind herself. She leaned up against it for a few brief moments before getting herself together to head back to the hospital.

She wasn't far from Lexa's apartment when she felt someone grab her arm. Turning around ready to fight she saw Lexa standing in front of her, tears streaming down her face, rain dripping from her curly hair. "What do you mean you were going to propose?"

"I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I wanted it to start as soon as possible so that I could spend every morning waking up to you because I could barely sleep without you. I went out and searched and searched for this stupid ring, this stupid perfect ring. I didn't tell anyone because I was waiting to ask your parents the next time I saw them." She reached her hands behind her neck and unclasped the necklace she had been wearing and held it in her hand. "I've been wearing this around as a reminder that things don't always work out the way you want them to or the way you planned but it's time for me to let go." She tossed the chain at Lexa's chest as the brunette stood frozen in the warm rain.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Do you feel better now? Do you feel better now that we've talked about it Lexa? Because I sure as hell don't but like always at least you got what you wanted. You have your perfect little housewife and your perfect apartment. But if you think that you saying sorry and trying to explain yourself once again does anything to fix the past it doesn't. I was trying so hard to let it go, to not be mad because of your dad but I can't. I am angry, I'm fucking livid, and yet I have been trying so hard to make amends with you and it because it's the past and I don't live in the past. We both have different futures, do us all a favour and stop trying to make yourself feel better. I don't love you and you sure as hell don't love me so let it go Lexa, just…let it go." Clarke turned on her heels as soon as the words came out and started walking away again. This time Lexa's feet didn't move she just watched her walk away. The rain falling over her head, but it didn't matter she was stuck.

She squeezed her hand around the necklace she had caught. There was something attached to it, something that felt very much like a ring. Closing her eyes she tilted her head up towards the sky and tried to bury the hurt.

It was a long few minutes before she headed back into her apartment, soaking wet. The power was still off as she made her way into her bedroom to change, setting the necklace on her dresser next to a lit candle. Once she was finished changing she looked over as the blue light of the ring caught her eye. Walking towards it she looked at it without picking it up, as if touching it again may have burned her. But there on her dresser sat the most perfect ring she had ever seen. A beautiful sapphire sitting on a diamond encrusted band. Clarke Griffin was going to propose to her.

 **TBC…**

 **A/N:**

Who saw that coming? If you want to see the ring head on over to my tumblr and let me know what you think and check out what's playing on Clarke and Lexa's ipods :)

faithangel3 dot tumblr


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"She seriously thought you and my brother were together, behind her back? That you of all people were cheating on her?" Clarke nodded as she saw the rage build in her best friend. "I'm going to kill her, I'm actually going to kill her. How fucking stupid is she? Did we not know her at all?"

Clarke shook her head as she sipped on her beer on the patio. "I have no idea, I'm just so mad. She's been mad at me for years, literally years because she thinks I cheated on her and yet she's the one that ran off with that fucking girl that I knew was after her! I only have a PhD so I'm a complete moron apparently."

"Did you say you threw a ring at her?" Both Octavia and Clarke looked over at Raven who was staring at Clarke like she was a two-headed deer.

"Yeah hold up, you did say that!"

Clarke smacked herself on the forehead. "Fuck, I didn't mean to tell you that. Stupid rambling." Both her friends were staring at her now. "Yes, I was going to propose when finals were done. I was tired of being apart, I love my life in New York, loved me life in New York but there was always one piece of the puzzle missing. It took me a long time to figure it out and I was the one that left, regardless of whether or not it was the right career move. She deserved to know how much I loved her."

"Clarke I'm going to ask you something and you're going to get pissed at me for it but I'm having a hard time figuring it out."

"What is it Octavia?" Clarke looked at her friend, unsure of what she was going to ask her.

"Did you come back here for Lexa? Is that what taking this job was about deep down?"

Clarke's eyes felt like they were going to pop out of her eye sockets. "Are you fucking crazy? No, I did not come back here for an engaged woman." Raven and Octavia looked between each other. "Seriously, she didn't play a part in me coming back here at all. We hate her right now!"

"Yes we do babe but we also love her." Raven said with a shrug.

"No we," she motioned to all of them, "don't love her anymore, not even a little bit."

"Funny because she still loves you." Octavia spit out without thinking, she had a tendency of doing that sometimes.

"Excuse you?" It is too early in the day to be day drunk but I feel like I'm going to need to be. She's engaged, to someone who isn't me. She thought I could cheat on her so she really doesn't know me at all, I highly doubt she's in love with me."

"Except for the fact that the only reason she didn't get on her bike to get to her father was because O told her that you'd be royally pissed off."

"I would have been that would have been incredibly fucking stupid but clearly she already is."

Raven shook her head. "Okay fine, if that's how you want to see it we won't argue." Octavia shot her a look. "We won't argue but I do want to know why you've been wearing a $5000 ring around your neck and how we haven't noticed." She shot a look back at Octavia. "Especially since some of us are supposed to have an eye for detail."

"I'm sorry, she kept that shit under sometimes at all times."

"It was a constant reminder to move on and then I just sort of liked wearing it. I knew when I could stand to look at it that I was over everything, over her."

"I'm still pissed she thought that you and my brother were a thing, that's gross." Clarke couldn't help but laugh at the utterly disgusted look on her best friends face.

 **XOXO**

"I am the worlds biggest fucking idiot!"

"I take it you finally met Bellamy." Anya smiled as she sat walked through the backdoors of Lexa's family home and sat down next to her best friend.

"At my mom's birthday party."

Anya smacked her friend on the arm. "And I'm only hearing about it now?"

"A lot's been going on. I need a vacation."

"You look like you've been crying? What's going on? Is dad okay?" Anya started to panic a little before Lexa held her hand up.

"Dad's doing much better, he's upstairs resting. Clarke and I finally had it out. She never cheated on me."

Anya nodded. "Yeah, I know. You think her and I would still be friends if she had."

"How did you know she didn't?"

"That girl was so in love with you, the kind of love that movies and books are written about. The healthy kind, the kind that meant she'd do anything for you without giving up herself. She was the best thing to ever happen to you and your player ways."

"That was high school. I should have talked to her, I should have done a million things differently, what the hell was wrong with me?"

"I can't answer that because I've never been able to come up with an answer. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, that's all I could think of and that's not a very good answer oh but beware, Octavia may kill you. I just got off the phone with her and girlie is pissed."

"You and Octavia are friends now?" Anya grinned and it makes Lexa sigh. "Great. More sarcasm."

"Shut up you love Octavia you're just pissed that Clarke got her in the breakup."

Lexa stuck her middle finger up at her friend. "Not making me any better. For four years I've been pissed at Clarke for cheating on me when it turns out I'm the one that cheated on her. How fucked up is that? How fucked up am I?"

"Fucked up, no… fucked… yes." Lexa shot her friend a look. "Sorry but you are. You made a huge mistake and it cost you really big. All you can do now is try and make up for it though I don't know how you're going to do that. Have you told Costia about your giant screw up yet?"

"Yeah the other night but there's something I left out."

Anya looked down at Lexa's closed hand. "I take it whatever it is, is in your hand."

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat and opened her hand so that Anya could take the chain out of it. She held it up and examined the ring that hang down from the chain. "Holy shit, it's beautiful, this isn't the ring is it?"

Lexa shook her head and looked out at the water. "No, it's the one Clarke bought for me."

"What?" Lexa nodded. "Yep, all the extra hours, and time spent at the hospital. It wasn't her cheating on me it was her working her way towards that. Towards our life together and I threw it all away. In return she threw that at me."

"It's perfect for you and I was definitely right when I said that you are the worlds biggest asshole."

"Not helping."

"I'm sorry but you are." She handed the chain back over to her friend and took a deep breath. "It was four years ago and it's biting you in the ass because you didn't deal with it then. You were both young and stupid, four years is a long time, we've all come a long way from where we were to where we are." Lexa nodded, she knew Anya was right but it didn't take away the guilt. "Are you happy with Costia?"

"Yeah…shit what time is it?" Anya looked at her watch before giving the time to Lexa. "Shit, she's going to kill me, I need to be at the venue in a half hour. God damn it. I'm sorry, we'll talk later." She slipped the ring in the pocket of her jacket as she and Anya walked outside.

"Lex, Clarke will get over it but you have to give her some time. Don't push her, she deserves her space."

"Take care of her?"

Anya nodded. "Make sure they have good food." Anya laughed as she watched her friend get onto her motorcycle.

 **XOXO**

"I'm going to kill her Anya, it's really that simple!"

"Not before I do it myself. I just had the shortest conversation with her but for the time being she is beating herself up far more than we could."

"How does someone so smart get to be so stupid?" Raven asked as she sat down with everyone's coffees.

Anya shook her head. "I seriously don't know! I want to run her over, with her own motorcycle. I thought me always disliking Costia would tell her something but it doesn't. I genuinely can't stand her, she makes my skin crawl and the way she talks is straight up valley girl." She cringes at the thought of her best friends fiancé. "How's Clarke doing?"

Octavia and Raven both shrugged as Octavia pushed her sunglasses up onto her forehead. "She works a lot, which isn't unusual. Did Lexa tell you about the ring?"

"Yeah, can we talk about that for a hot damn minute?! How did you never tell me about that?" She looked at Raven with a somewhat pissed off expression.

Raven put her hands up in the air. "I swear I had no idea! She never even mentioned going shopping for a ring. Mind you I barely spoke to her because she was always at the hospital."

Octavia nodded in agreement. "I barely saw her and we live together. She would come home, sleep for a couple hours, get up and do it all over again. She had a really competitive class but I think it was more her way of proving herself. They were always pushing each other to be the best doctors they could be. I can't even tell when she found the time to go shopping. My shipper heart wanted to believe she came back here for her but after all of this, I'm really not sure."

"Have you asked her about it?" Anya questioned.

"We both did, on different occasions, her story never changed and between her investigative skills and my sheer intelligence we'd know if she was lying."

Anya raised her eyebrow. "Basically you'd know if she was lying because you're her best friends?"

"Exactly." Octavia laughed as Raven gave her a bit of a glare.

"My answer was cooler." Both cops rolled their eyes.

"For a rocket scientist you are still the same ol fool you've been since preschool." Anya laughed.

 **XOXO**

"Mom can I ask you something?" Lexa sat across the table from her mother as they enjoyed Sunday brunch together.

"Of course Lexie, what's on your mind?"

Lexa took a sip of her mimosa and looked out over the patio and got a little lost in the water. "How come you never told me that Clarke came back?" She studied her mother's confused face for a moment. "When I went to Europe after broke up, she said she came back and she told me she was going to propose, I'm assuming you knew about that too."

Her mother nodded. "I did know, she took me and your father to dinner and asked for our blessing. As for not telling you, when you got back from Europe you made it explicitly clear that it was over. I tried to tell you but every time I mentioned her name you shut down. Why is all this important to you now Lexa, you gave Costia a ring, that means something. If you're having second thoughts…"

"I'm not, it's just the past has been biting me in the ass. She's so angry with me and I don't like it."

"You two are both far too stubborn. Clarke will come around and maybe you two can be friends."

Lexa looked at her mother with a slight smirk on her face. "How did you know I was talking about Clarke?"

"A mother knows everything. You and Clarke were never just girlfriends, she was your best friend Lexie, it's hard to handle the loss of a significant other but it's even harder to lose a best friend."

Lexa smiled as she reached across the table and took hold of her Elizabeth's hand. "Having her back here, it almost feels like nothing changed, I don't understand how I can feel so at ease around her, even now."

It was Elizabeth's turn to smile. "You've known each other practically your whole lives. You went through a lot together and not just as a couple. You feel that way because you're an adult and you want to see her do well in life."

"How'd you get to be so smart?"

"Comes with the territory." Elizabeth grinned as they went back to eating their brunch.

 **XOXO**

"It's tradition Lex Luther, we always go to the cottage for the 4th. Smores, fireworks, alcohol." Anya wiggled her eyebrows as she sat in Lexa's living room.

"I don't know if I can get it off work, plus we haven't gone to the cottage in years."

Anya rolled her eyes as she ate some more popcorn. "Yeah because you can never get it off work. But this is different because Echo is home to go, Raven is home to go and I even invited Octavia."

"What about Clarke?"

"She isn't going, she couldn't get it off work."

"Oh but I have?" Lexa raised an eyebrow as she looked away from the TV.

Anya nodded. "Yes, because you run the company you work for, so you are your own boss, Clarke's boss is her mother. That's a little tough to deal with and according to her hospitals never close."

"They don't."

"Exactly, which is why you have to excuse to not go. We can consider it your bachlorette party."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "We haven't even set a date yet and you're already thinking about a bachlorette party?"

"Indeed. It's already taken care of."

 **XOXO**

"Clarke you have to come, it's tradition."

"That tradition went out the window after I moved to New York and we know longer need a reason to get away from our parents and drink. We can go out, we can stay in, we don't have to drive three hours to your cottage anymore."

Raven laughed as she sat on the beach with Clarke as she sketched the nights sky.

"I can't crash cottage weekend, besides I'm working and I have nightshift, do you know how much blood there is on nightshift?"

"Lexa isn't even going, she told Anya that she couldn't take it off work because her father is still healing. Some sort of corporate bull crap, but she's not coming so you have no excuse! Don't make me call Abby myself!"

Clarke shook her head. "I'll think about it, but I want my room!"

"All yours." Raven grinned as she pulled out her cell phone to text Anya.

 **XOXO**

Raven Reyes: She's most likely in.

Anya Sanders: Lexa too! This better work or we're going to need a lot more alcohol.

Octavia Blake: I feel like we should be too old for this but I am so tired of mopey, at the hospital all the time Clarke! And I secretly miss arguing with Lex Luther. All systems go.

If Clarke and Lexa were going to act like they were all still in high school then their friends were going to treat them that way. They wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be, where everyone got a long. Clarke was home and both Lexa and Clarke had to deal with that because it didn't seem like it was changing anytime soon. Thus operation Krypton was now in full effect.

 **TBC…**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 _USC – Sophomore Year_

" _Hey, how's girls night in?"_

 _Clarke laughed with the shake of her head. "You know you could have come right, Anya is here."_

" _You needed girl time, away from your girlfriend. I had dinner with my parents and now I'm relaxing in the hot tub." A pause. "Don't squint your eyes at me Griffin, you have your own hot tub."_

" _But it doesn't have you in it."_

" _Always such a flirt." They both laughed._

 _Clarke's cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and it had only been about 24 hours since she had seen her girlfriend. "You're my favourite."_

" _Your favourite what?"_

 _Clarke thought about how to respond for a second. "Person, you're my favourite person Lexa Callaway."_

" _You're my favourite person too Clarke Griffin." Clarke closed her eyes at the sincerity in Lexa's voice. She never would have thought that she would be so in love anyone. She was certain that the kind of love you read about in books and love poems, was entirely fictional. Then her and Lexa started hanging out more and more and now a year into their relationship she was starting to think that maybe that kind of love was entirely real. "While we're on the subject, I have a question to ask you."_

 _Clarke waiting a second before answering. "Okay, should I be worried?"_

" _It depends, how do you feel about dressing up like a princess and sitting through a really boring dinner?"_

" _The dressing up part sounds fun and the other part could be if dinner means what it's supposed and there is food involved."_

 _Lexa nodded to the stars above her. "Lots of food." A pause. "Will you go to the Callaway Group Gala with me?"_

" _As in the biggest party of the year?"_

 _Clarke heard Lexa let out a soft chuckle. "Yes, that's the one."_

" _I would love too, but I have to be home before midnight or my carriage will turn back into a pumpkin." Silence. "Stop shaking your head at me."_

" _You need to stop watching so many Disney movies but as you wish. Now go back to hanging out with Raven before she kills me."_

" _Okay, I'll see you tomorrow for brunch?"_

" _Absolutely. Goodnight, I love you."_

 _Raven stood with her arms crossed, leaning on the doorframe. "I love you, sweet dreams." Clarke grinned from ear to ear getting an eye roll from Raven as she hung up the phone. "What?"_

" _Nothing, nothing. I'm just glad I survived all of high school without the sap fest that is you two."_

 _Clarke let out a laugh. "Yeah because me and the play girl would have been like this in high school."_

" _It was two years ago."_

 _Clarke shook her head. "Still, people change a lot the moment they step foot out of the confines of a high school. College is about finding yourself and becoming you want to be, not the person you think you have to be."_

 _Raven raised an eyebrow. "So you think Lex was a player because she thought she had to be?"_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes. "No, she's just matured."_

" _She's always been way to damn mature." They both laughed at the truth in Raven's statement. "She's not coming over?"_

" _Nope, I'm all yours tonight."_

" _Shit, I was really hoping her and I could sneak off for a quickie I hear she's a damn good kisser." Clarke got up and flipped off her best friend._

" _Watch it Reyes, that's my woman you're talking about."_

" _I'm just teasing while I still can because one day she'll be your wife and then my comments will be really inappropriate."_

 _They both laughed. "Yeah like that'll stop you."_

" _True."_

 **XOXO**

"Hey you, how do you feel about dinner and a movie?"

"It's Thursday, isn't that your typical date night with Anya?"

Lexa nodded even though she knew her fiancé couldn't see her. "Yeah but she already had plans so I have to settle with you."

"You're so charming but I suppose dinner and a movie works. Are you at home?"

"I am."

"Be there in twenty I just left the office."

Lexa smiled. "Okay I'll see you soon."

XOXO

An hour later Lexa and Costia left Lexa's home, opting to walk to dinner instead of driving. The walked down the hill that Lexa's house sat atop hand in hand.

"Maybe we should have stayed in and barbequed because who ever is cooking is making me hungrier." Costia grinned.

Lexa shook her head. "Or you could go and ask them to share."

"Don't tempt me." As they got further down the hill, the smell of the barbeque got stronger and the sound of music got louder. "Maybe you should lead the way, they listen to the same crappy music you do." Costia smiled as Lexa feigned hurt.

"It means they have great taste in music and maybe I'll ditch you and join them."

"Isn't that Anya's car?"

Lexa looked up at the car in the driveway. "Yeah it is." Her eyes trailed up to the familiar door as she heard the sound of laughter coming from the other side of the road. Turning her head she looked at the house across the street.

"Why didn't she invite you over then?"

"It's not her house she's at. She's over here." Lexa nodded her head in the direction of the other house before continuing to walk again.

"Woah, slow down. I take it that's Clarke's house?"

Lexa nodded as they continued to walk. "Yeah, it is."

Costia caught up with her and took a hold of her arm and rested her head on Lexa's shoulder. "I'm sorry that it has to be like this."

"No, it's my fault, I caused this. Karma really is a bitch but I deserve it all."

"What do you mean?"

Lexa shook her head. "I wanted to talk to you about this before but we've both been s busy."

"Lex, what's going on?" They stopped walking as Lexa looked up towards the sky.

"Clarke, never cheated on me."

"What? But I thought…all the avoiding and all the late hours."

Lexa shook her head. "I saw her with Bellamy that night." Costia had a confused look on her face. "Bellamy is Octavia's brother. Clarke has always had this rule about not dating her friends siblings. Bellamy is like a brother to her, I jumped to all the wrong conclusions. They were having dinner to celebrate," she paused and took a breathe, "they were having dinner to celebrate me proposing."

"You hadn't proposed though. I'm sorry Lex but I call bullshit."

Lexa shook her head. "No, Clarke may be hard headed and stubborn but she isn't a liar. It was me that messed up, not her and she has every right to be pissed at me, she has every right to hate me."

"What are you saying Lexa? That you regret what happened?"

"Of course I regret what happened, I hurt someone I used to love for no damn reason."

The tears started to well up in Costia's eyes. "Fine, then why don't you go and be with her then, your one and only true love."

"Costia! Stop, you're doing that over dramatic thing again. I never said I regretted you, just that I regret what happened between Clarke and I. I don't generally like hurting people, especially when it turns out to be for no reason. I should have listened to her but I didn't and maybe she was always right and things happen for a reason but we're here now and that is something I don't regret."

Costia shook her head angrily. "I'm sure you don't, if she wasn't so pissed at you, you probably would have run right back to her because it's always been about Clarke. Everything has always been about Clarke so you know what, go have fun with Clarke since all your friends seem to love her too." With that she turned and started walking back up the hill.

Lexa called after her but she was upset that Costia could think so low of her after she had just explained the truth. She wanted to get mad and yell and she knew that would happen if she chased after her fiancé so she let her walk away, opting to take a short cut to the beach instead getting food. As she walked down the path she could still hear the sound of music and her friends laughing. Her emotions were all over the place and she was actually somewhat excited to about going to the cottage. If she was honest with herself then it'd be easy for her to admit how much she missed Clarke, how much missed the whole group being together but she wasn't about to be honest with herself because she had no idea what any of those feelings really meant.

 **XOXO**

Clarke stood in her backyard in blue jean shorts, a black tank top and a plaid red shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She took a sip of the beer in her hand as Octavia moved away from watching Anya grill to hug her best friend. It was the first time since Clarke had been back that she was truly enjoying herself. The weather was perfect, the beers were cold and the company was stellar, even though she'd never admit that last part to them.

Without warning the two friends started dancing and pointing at Raven and Echo. It didn't take long for them all to burst out into a fit of giggles. They attempted to keep singing through the giggles but eventually the giggles got the better of them.

As the night continued on Clarke couldn't help but feel as though there was something missing. It was so small that she hadn't noticed it at first but the alcohol was clearly starting to go to her head. Grabbing her beer bottle she walked over to the railing of her deck and looked out at the water. It wasn't until Raven came up from behind her and stood next to her that she realized what was missing, or rather who was missing. Being in California without her was entirely too weird and it didn't feel right but it was what it was.

"What's on your mind Griff?"

"Hmm, oh nothing, just starting to get a bit of a headache." She didn't bother looking at Raven, she didn't have too, she knew the other woman would know she was lying.

"Spit it out and no I don't mean the beer."

Clarke shrugged as she sighed deeply without meaning too. "It's all so weird, us all being here and she's not. I am so angry and pissed off at her but at the same time, I kind of miss her. Everything about this place reminds me of her and of us and it all just hurts. It's one of the reasons why I don't visit very often. I know how silly that sounds but it's how I feel."

"It's not silly, it's normal. That's what happens when you break up with someone. Neither of you went through that when it happened, you both buried it and kept walking without stopping to deal with the consequences."

"I didn't want to deal with it, I just wanted the pain to be gone, I still do."

Raven wrapped a supportive arm around Clarke's shoulders. "It will but you have to feel it and get through it in order for it to not let it get to you anymore. You'll come out stronger on the other side. Pushing it away only gets so far, and the fact that four years later you're standing here talking to me about it means that you haven't taken more than a step."

Clare offered Raven a small smile as she leaned her head on her best friends shoulder. "It feels like I can't breathe and all I want to do is yell at her and then yell at her some more. But then I feel selfish because I got everything I wanted when I moved to New York. The perfect apartment, amazing friends and an astonishing career."

"But you didn't get the girl."

Clarke nodded. "But I didn't get the girl and I'm okay with that, I've come to terms with that. I'm happy where I'm at in my life and deep down I'm glad she seems to be happy too. It's all could ever want for her, to be happy, but I can't help but wonder what life would be like it we had stayed together. Then I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and I wouldn't be the person I am if we had stayed together."

"And yet you wouldn't be the person you are if she hadn't been in your life."

"Stop finishing my thoughts." She laughed, lifting her head back up. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to act."

"Sweetie, no one would know how to act in this situation. At some point I think it might be best for you both to sit down and talk it out. You're never going to get anywhere if you don't and it may make you feel better."

"I've gone over and over it in my head and I can't figure out how she could just cut me out of her life. One day we were talking and great then the next thing I know I'm stepping off a plane at LAX four years later. Four years without talking to someone I used to talk to every single day. It didn't matter if my day was great or terrible we talked about it, when I was happy or stressed, we talked about it. She was my best friend and I left her, I left her here alone with a vulture."

"Lexa fucked up Clarke, not you. Sure you moved and yes I'm sure that was hard for her, in fact I know it was but that doesn't condone her doing what she did, and more importantly it doesn't condone how she did it."

"If she wasn't happy she should have just told me. I always told her that all I ever wanted for her to be happy and that I would stop at nothing to see that through."

"There's only one person who can answer those questions, enough time has passed now, and maybe she'll give you a straight answer. She never gave me one when I asked her a long time ago but I was also doing a lot of yelling." Clarke chuckled at the image of Raven scolding Lexa. "For now, let's go get another beer and make Anya make us some more food."

Raven faded back into the distance and Clarke was left to ponder their discussion for a brief moment before taking a deep breath and heading back over to her friends.

 **XOXO**

 _New York – Four Years Ago_

" _Did you see that Bell?" Clarke asked as she looked out the window of the restaurant and across the street._

"See what?" He questioned as she took another bite of his dinner.

 _Clarke shook her head as if that would help her see better. "Across the road, there's a woman that looks a lot like Lexa holding up a bouquet of flowers. I think my mind is seeing things."_

 _Bellamy looked over in Clarke's direction and put his fork down. "Mine must be too because that definitely looks like Lexa."_

 _It was then that she saw the figure start to move further and further away into the darkness. Clarke sprang up from her seat and ran outside without her umbrella, not caring about how wet she got even though she knew it meant Lexa would lecture her about getting sick. She ran down the street after her and even with the rain coming down she knew it was Lexa, she always knew when Lexa was around._

 _She_ called out for her but it was no use. Giving up on yelling she put all her effort into running after her girlfriend. Never had she been so grateful for all of Octavia's insisting they go running. _As she got close enough she watched as the woman got into a cab, taking the last few long strides she stood in place where the cab had just left. Looking over she saw a bouquet of her favourite flowers sitting on top of the garbage bin._

 _Her heart felt as though it was breaking into a trillion tiny little pieces, her breath shortened and she knew she was having a panic attack. She sat down on the curb, the flowers sitting across her lap. She went to pull out of her phone and realized that she had left it in her purse, in the restaurant. It felt like her feet her cemented to the ground so she sat on the curb in her best dress with the rain pouring down around her. She didn't know it then but that would be the last time she saw Lexa Callaway in years, or maybe she secretly had known._

 **XOXO**

" _Here we are, our final destination, the Greek Islands." Costia grinned as she sat her suitcase down in the hotel room and laid down on the bed. "And by far the best bed out of the whole trip. You're going to have to carry me everywhere because I am never getting out of this bed Lex."_

 _Lexa offered her a weak smile and sat down on the edge of the bed. Clarke had always talked about going to Greece and how she wanted to paint the entire country. She let her head fall into her hands and the minute she closed her eyes she saw the blonde kissing someone else. It was haunting her and she didn't know how to deal with it, it hurt way to much and she didn't want it to hurt. She didn't want to feel anything because she didn't want to believe that this was real but it was, she had seen it with her own eyes. The way the blonde had been laughing, her cheeky smile on full display. She kept wishing and hoping that at some point she'd wake up from the nightmare she was currently living._

 _She felt a gentle hand on her back and she stiffened slightly from the touch before relaxing. It was so odd to have anyone else but Clarke really comfort her. "It'll take some time, but the pain will go away." She heard Costia speak, she felt her head nod in response but her heart still ached._

 _Later that night Lexa stood in her black sundress over looking the water. The music was still loud behind her but as she took another sip of her drink she felt the world start to fade away. She had managed to drink enough to numb the ache in her heart. She took her phone out and looked down at all the missed the calls from Clarke, her parents, Anya and even Octavia. She unlocked the home screen and bit back the tears as she looked at her favourite picture of Clarke. She finished her drink and without another thought she threw her phone into the Mediterranean._

" _Come dance with me?" She felt hands on her hips turning her around. She leaned against the railing and drunkenly smiled. She had to let go, just like Clarke had so she let Costia take her hand and lead her out onto the dance floor. She tried to ignore the fact that Clarke would have loved this place, the music, the view, the vibe. She tried to ignore the thought of them dancing and going skinny dipping before messily ending up back in their bed. She wasn't thinking straight, the alcohol was making her head spin so she let her body give in to it's surroundings._

" _You hate this music though." Costia shrugged and in that moment it was enough for Lexa to let go._

 _The next morning she woke up with one hell of a headache. Her head was so fuzzy as she tried to remember how she had gotten so drunk the night before. Slowly she lifted her head off the pillow and reached for her nightstand, certain that there would be a bottle of water and advil there for her like there always was but to her surprise nothing was there. Opening her eyes she realized she wasn't in her room, she wasn't in her bed and she was completely naked. The ache in her chest started to return as she felt the body in the bed with her start to stir. Looking over she saw long brown hair splayed across the pillow. The bed sheets were a mess, clothes were scattered across the floor and instead of feeling better, she felt like her world had just collapsed. Even though she didn't remember how she got back to their room or into bed, it was pretty clear in her mind that she had had sex with Costia. She was confused and hurting but worst of all for the first time in years she had no idea where her life was headed._

 _Getting out of bed she threw on some clothes and went in search of her purse. Finding it under a pile of clothes she reached in for her purse only to find that it wasn't there. Shaking her head she remembered throwing it into the sea and dancing with Costia but as hard as she tried she could not remember anything after that._

 **XOXO**

"Have you left yet?"

"Well hello to you too sunshine." Lexa answered her phone over the stereo in her car.

She could swear she heard Anya roll her eyes. "Can you pick me up please?"

"Raven said you were driving up with her because I need to get the boat. Which I don't understand because Raven has her own boat."

Anya thanked her wit and reminded herself to kill Raven later. "Yeah but I overslept and the bitch left without me, you know how she is with time and everything. Plus she picked up Octavia and Echo."

"Octavia is going to be there?"

"Did I forget to mention that? Don't worry I promise I won't let her kill you in your sleep, or drown you. Though she has threatened all of them." Anya laughed and Lexa could only shake her head.

"I'll be there in ten I'm just leaving the marina now."

 **XOXO**

Exactly ten minutes later Lexa pulled her jeep up to the Anya's house, boat and all. She sent Anya a text before looking out her window where she saw Clarke leaning against Octavia's motorcycle. Bags at her feet. Rolling down her window, letting the sound of The Miracles spill out she called out to her ex girlfriend.

"Why do I think we've been set up?" She was pretty certain she was right with the look on Clarke's face.

"You aren't Anya, that's for sure. She told me she went to the store and would be back to pick me up because I just got home from work."

A long pause as both women looked in every direction other than at each other. "I take it they told you I wasn't going?"

Clarke nodded. "I'll hypothesize they told you the same."

Lexa sighed. "They did. Them being friends is a terrible thing for this world." She wasn't sure why she was being so chatty, she really just wanted to get out and run back to her house. She stayed put. "You're welcome to ride up with me, but I won't take offense if you want to take your own car. I mean I don't have to go at all, you can go. You should go, you work hard." More rambling.

"I don't have my car, Octavia took it and mom is at the hospital. It's fine you should go. I don't mind logging the extra hours at work." Clarke went to pick up her bag as Lexa got out of the jeep to help her. Neither were sure why she had, but they both summed it up to old habits again.

"You can take the jeep. I can walk home from here, not exactly like it's that far."

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "You don't let anyone drive that jeep." It was true, Lexa never let anyone drive her jeep. It was her first car and she cherished it more than anything.

"I let you drive it."

"Twice."

"Better than nothing, but seriously offer stands, it's the least I can do for being a selfish asshole."

Clarke nodded in agreement but didn't say anything else. "Get in the car and drive Callaway, this clearly means too much too them. Plus I really want to find out what they're up too. We don't need to speak, we don't need to make small talk, we can just drive."

Lexa got back into the jeep. "Let's go then Griffin, move your ass before we run out of daylight."

"It's seriously 11 a.m." Clarke threw her bag into the back of the jeep and got in.

"Yeah which means the day is half done." Lexa tried not to smile because none of this was funny or cute, except it kind of was because it reminded her of how the two had been to each other in high school. Sort of friends but not really, but with their family history they knew far too much about the other one.

 **TBC…**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"It's not my fault we hit traffic and then had a flat tire!"

"This has seriously been the longest trip of my life."

Lexa rolled her eyes as Clarke huffed and looked out the window. Apparently their day was destined for disaster the minute they got going. Their 4-hour drive had turned into 10 hours, and neither of them was pleased about it. Between the construction, the car accident, having to stop to eat and the flat tire by the time they pulled up to the cottage they were entirely over it.

Thankfully for them it was clear their friends hadn't waited to get the party started. The red solo's were in the sink and the empty tequila bottle sat on the counter. The remnant of the frozen pizza were still on the stove but their friends, well they were clearly passed out somewhere because everything was entirely too quiet.

"I swear if she didn't leave me my room, I'll kill her." Clarke grumbled as she picked up her bag and headed up stairs. "Thanks for the ride." She threw over her shoulder at Lexa who was moving her bag away from the door.

The brunette nodded as she watched Clarke climb the stairs and disappear around the corner.

"Did she leave you your room? Or shall I get the shovel and body bag ready?" Lexa asked from where she peaked over the couch as Clarke walked down the stairs twenty minutes later.

"She left me my room so no shovel and body bag… tonight." She paused before walking towards the kitchen. "Why is it you're lying on the couch?"

Lexa stretched her legs out so that they were hanging off one end. "The sneaky bastards took the other three rooms and the bed that's supposed to pull out doesn't have a mattress on it anymore."

Clarke poured herself a glass of water before walking back threw the living room towards the staircase. "Wonder how that mattress ended up missing?" She said just before walking up the stairs. She didn't need to see the smirk on Lexa's face to know it was there.

"It was your idea!" She heard Clarke stop at the top of the steps.

"One, I'm still pissed at you so we aren't supposed to be talking. Two. I was joking, I didn't actually mean we should put her in the lake!"

Lexa stifled a laugh. "One, you've been mad at me for years no sense in changing a good thing and besides that I'm a lawyer, we like talking especially when we aren't supposed to. Two. You helped me put Anya in the lake on sad mattress, I just took the blame for it because I'm nice like that."

"You're an ass."

"So I've been told."

 **XOXO**

Two hours later Clarke heard the familiar sound of ruffling downstairs. She knew exactly what it was and why. For a ten hour drive, very little was said between her and Lexa but she hated how even in silence things were far too comfortable between them. Raven's words played over and over again in her head. Everything that had happened, happened four years ago, everything that went wrong went wrong partially because their lines of communication broke down. Regardless her words stood true, she was still very very pissed off that she had shouldered the blame for far too long, intentional or not.

Sighing she got up and started to make the bed, pulling spare pillows out of the closet. Her friends would pay for this in the morning but for now her conscious was taking over because as long as the drive was, she hadn't driven at all and was able to sleep. Walking downstairs she stood against the pillar in the living room and looked at the restless body lying on the couch. "Get up, before I change my mind."

"What?" Came the groggy voice and it took everything in her to not let that voice affect her. "Why are you holding your pillow and Mr. Teddy

"Take the bed."

Lexa shook her head as she sat up. "That's not necessary."

"You drove all the way here, you helped change the tire plus we both know you're a terrible sleeper and that you can't sleep on the couch so go and sleep in the bed before I change my mind."

"I can't take the bed from you, that's your room." Lexa laid back down.

Clarke huffed. "Seriously? Stop being a martyr."

"I'm not, I'm fine, thanks but no thanks Griffin."

"Lexa, please just go and get some sleep. I'm pissed not cruel and you look like you've haven't slept in a week."

"Is that a nice way of saying I look like shit."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Take it however you want, just go because I'm tired and bitchy."

Thankfully for Clarke, Lexa was far too tired to argue anymore so she pulled herself off the couch and headed upstairs. When she got about half way up to looked back down and saw Clarke getting comfortable and a part of her felt far too guilty to take the bed. She deserved the couch in more ways then just the literal sense.

A half hour later Lexa was tired of staring at the ceiling. Her conscious was too much for her sometimes. Climbing out of bed she ran her fingers through her straightened hair. She silently walked down the steps and looked over at the couch only to find the television on and playing softly in the background. She shook her head with a slight laugh, classic Clarke. The amount of times she had fallen asleep while they were face timing or skyping was immeasurable. Clarke used to say that it was because the sound of her voice soothed her when really it was because she liked the white noise of it all.

"You're staring. Why? I told you to go to bed." Clarke groaned, her eyes still closed as Lexa rounded the front of the couch. She shook her head, she should have known Clarke would call her out.

"Because I was trying to be nice by offering you half the bed because that couch is terrible!"

"It used to seem nicer. I'm trying the lounge next though so it's fine."

Lexa shook her head even though Clarke's eyes were still shut. "It's just as bad, I tried it. Take half the bed Clarke, we don't have to like each other to be civil."

Clarke was so tired that she almost didn't care but there was still a part of her that did. "I said it was fine Lexa."

"For once, please don't argue with me, I won't be able to sleep knowing that you're down here uncomfortable, it's the very least I can do."

Clarke thought about it for a long couple minutes before throwing the blanket off herself and standing in a sleepy daze. "Fine but only because this couch really sucks!"

Lexa nodded and waited for Clarke to pass her and go up the stairs. "You made a pillow wall?" Another nod as Lexa approached the room just behind Clarke.

"I figured you would make one anyways so I saved you the trouble."

"Just stay on your side of the bed!"

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Me? You're the one that likes to sleep right smack in the middle of a the biggest bed there is on this planet."

Clarke didn't say anything in response. Instead she set Mr. Teddy down and laid down next to him facing away from Lexa's side of the bed. A minute later she felt the bed dip slightly before evening back out. Neither woman said another word as they both closed their eyes and hoped that sleep took them over quickly.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Freshman Year_

"Can I ask you something?" Clarke asked from her seat on Lexa's couch. Her legs were sprawled out over Lexa's lap as she read her textbook.

" _I don't know why you're asking me that Clarke, we both know you'll ask me anyways."_

"True." Lexa looked over at her with a grin. They had been spending a lot of time together since that night at the coffee shop. They chalked it up to not really knowing anyone else but they had both made other friends since then so that theory was thrown out the window. "I have a crush on you." She blurted out, catching Lexa off guard. "Will you go on a date with me? Because I'm pretty sure you may have a crush on me too and if I've read everything all wrong I'm sorry but I just can't hold it in any longer."

Lexa was speechless, she hadn't seen that coming. She put her textbook on the table with her glasses and moved her hands so they were resting on Clarke's legs. She could see the worry in Clarke's eyes and realized she hadn't responded. Though she couldn't see it herself she felt her cheeks get red and her smile grow bigger than it ever had. "Yes, I'll go on a date with you because I may have a crush on you too."

Clarke's smile grew and Lexa was sure in that moment that she was always going to want to be the one to put that smile on her face. The way her eyes lit up and the look of pure happiness on her face gave Lexa goose bumps in the best possible way.

"You'll really go on a date with me? Like an actual romantic date?"

Lexa laughed and nodded. "Yes, an actual romantic date but I'm not putting out, I'm not that girl."

Clarke let out a loud laugh and jumped up from the couch before pouncing on Lexa and wrapping her up in a hug. "We'll see about the putting out, I'm quite romantic." Clarke wiggled her eyebrows as Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and threw her head back laughing. It took them a minute to realize that Clarke was still sitting on Lexa's lap and that Lexa's grip wasn't letting go any time soon. Without thinking about it Lexa leaned in and softly brushed her lips over Clarke's. She felt Clarke relax under her grip as the blondes hands came up to rest gently on either side of Lexa's neck. Her thumbs barely grazing over Lexa's jaw as she leaned back in. They kissed for what felt like forever, never taking it to far.

When their lips finally parted they both had the biggest smiles on their faces. "I'm sorry I couldn't wait until after the date, I've been wanting to do that since you showed up at my door when I was sick."

"No complaints here." Clarke grinned as she leaned her head down on Lexa's shoulder, feeling Lexa's hands gently rub up and down her back. She was certain that this was the most comfortable she'd ever been with another person. "Promise me one thing?" Clarke grinned from where her head still laid against Lexa's shoulder.

"What's that?"

"Don't break my heart." She let out a soft laugh but in the back of her mind she was scared but she knew that she was already falling.

"Only if you promise me the same."

 **XOXO**

Clarke opened her eyes and found herself looking directly at her ex girlfriend. In that moment she was thankful for the pillow wall the other woman had created because it was the only thing keeping them from being right now to each other. It took a moment for her to realize just how close she was to Lexa. Both their heads were on the edge of the pillow that was separating them. As the sun shone into the room she pushed away a familiar feeling, she wasn't allowed to think about how beautiful Lexa was anymore, even though she was too beautiful to put into words. Clarke had always liked waking up to find Lexa still fast asleep, mostly because it rarely happened that she was the first one up and because there was something about the way she looked, her curly hair a mess on the pillows and the peaceful look on her face.

She closed her eyes and took a breath as she reminded herself where she was and why.

Quietly, she got out of bed and made her way downstairs and was surprised when she found her three friends sitting at the table eating in silence. Raven and Anya both had their sunglasses on while Octavia had a huge grin on her face.

"What the hell time did you end up getting here?" Octavia said in a normal tone.

"Shh. Headaches." Anya and Raven said in unison as Raven put her head back down in her hand.

"Good, that's about what you deserve after the little stunt you pulled!"

"Speaking of that where is Lexa? Did you already kill her?" Octavia grinned as she took another bite of her cereal.

"Upstairs sleeping."

"You shared a bed?" Anya suddenly perked up from her hung over state.

"With a lot of pillows on the bed between us, yes. I'm pissed not evil." The three women gave her a look. "Okay, I'm not that evil. But seriously what the hell were you all thinking? We aren't friends, we aren't friendly and we don't want to be, we just want to live our lives in peace and then you three decide to pull shit like that?"

Octavia put her spoon down and looked at Raven and Anya before finally meeting Clarke's gaze. "We're sorry, we didn't do it to upset either of you. We're frankly just tired of the two of you being so stubborn. Shit happened, but it was four years ago and you have both moved on, something you've both said a countless number of times. If you don't want to be friends fine, but at least grow a pair and talk to each other about everything."

"We have talked Octavia." Clarke turned around to find Lexa standing in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest, hair in a messy bun.

"No you haven't. You've gotten mad and yelled at each other and blamed one another but you haven't really talked things out and apologized. It's about time you two laid everything on the table and truly moved the hell on. If you turn out to be friends one day great, if not then that's great too because at least then you've been honest."

Anya took her sunglasses off and looked at her two friends. "We're tired of having to split our time between the two of you, we love you both but it sucks when we go to a barbeque or dinner or the beach, anything and one of you is missing because you can't stand the sight of the other. We know you haven't ever asked us to choose sides but this has all gotten out of hand. It was different when Clarke was in New York but that's changed and now the two of you have to change. At some point, we aren't saying this is going to be a magical fix and we aren't going to lock you in a closet though Raven wanted too, we're just asking that you find common ground. You're lives are connected in more ways than one and they will continue to be so deal with your shit… please." She put her glasses back on and went back to eating. As she did she held up her hand and waited.

"Holy fuck, no way!" Clarke yelled in excitement as she saw the ring on Anya's finger. Rushing towards her friend, any anger suddenly disappearing she grabbed her hand and held it up. "When!"

Lexa too moved over to her friend and took a look at the rock that Clarke was staring at. "I'm just finding this out now!" She smacked her friend on the back of the head.

"It was a surprise and it worked and watched the head. Octavia poisoned us."

Octavia laughed. "Not my fault you two can't handle your liquor. East coast for the win."

"Gustus has done be proud. Does he have any friends?" Clarke asked with a laugh as she finally let go of Anya's hand.

"None that I would hook you up with. Now can we go back to eating in peace."

"Yeah what she said, I feel like I'm dying." Raven finally piped up as she laid her head down on the table. Octavia laughed and shook her head. "You shut up, because if I die I'm totally haunting your ass from the other side."

 **XOXO**

That night the five girls sat around the living room table, pen and paper in hand. "Why are we playing this stupid game, I think we all know each other well enough." Lexa grumbled from her seat on the couch.

"Because it's fun to play games we used to play when we were younger, plus there's alcohol involved now." Anya grinned as she held up her drink.

"Didn't you drink enough last night?" Clarke questioned as she sipped on her drink.

"Definitely not. Now roll the dance before Missy gets her freak on." Raven instructed as she turned the stereo up slightly.

Lexa shook her head and rolled the dice, it landed on a one and she internally groaned. "Great."

"Karma's a bitch." Octavia smiled from ear to ear. "Clarke your turn." No response. "Clarke, stop rapping and roll the damn dice."

"Hmm? Oh sorry." She smiled, starting to feel a bit of a buzz. Picking up the dice she rolled a three.

"Guess that means we all guess Lexa's favourites. Lexa has to make the winner's drinks for the rest of the night."

Lexa's eyebrows shot up. "What? Since when is that rule?"

"Since now so shut up and write your answers down."

Ten minutes later, they all had their answers written down on torn up pieces of paper. "Whoever got the answer right got a point, whoever got it wrong had to take a sip of their drink."

"What's my food."

Everyone turned their answers around. "Pancakes is right. Clarke is the only one who got it right. How did you not get that right Anya?"

"Sorry Commander but with the extreme amount of spaghetti you eat, I was tricked."

"Next question. Who is my favourite musician of all time?" Everyone turned their papers around again. "Octavia and Clarke got it right. Anya you are no longer my best friend because Marvin Gaye is my favourite not Puff Daddy."

"I should get half points, I said some old guy, that's technically correct."

"Fine, you get half a point!"

"What I want to know is how the hell you knew the answer?" Anya looked over at Octavia who just grinned.

Octavia had to take a minute so she didn't say the first thing that came to her mind. "I practically lived with the damn woman, her alarm used to be Let's Get It On." They all laughed as Lexa smiled and sipped on her own drink.

"Moving on. How many bones have I broken?" They turned their papers around. "The correct answer is seven. Anya, Raven and Clarke got it right. Sorry O."

"But, I remember you told me six."

"That was four years ago. I broke my wrist two summers ago while I was surfing." Lexa shrugged.

Anya squinted her eyes at Clarke who was silently drinking. "How are you winning? You couldn't have known that answer!"

Clarke shrugged nonchalantly. "I read her chart when she came into the hospital moron."

"Final question. Where is my favourite place to visit?" She waited a second before looking through the answers. "Clarke and Raven are right. Venice is the answer."

"Oh but spaghetti isn't your favourite food. I swear you two still cheat! Whatever, you have to make Clarke's drinks for the rest of the night."

"Guess you two still know each other creepily well." Raven rolled her eyes as she finished her own drink. "Wait where did Clarke disappear too?"

Octavia shrugged before noticing the empty beer bottle on the table. "Probably to get another drink because you're voice is turning her into an alcoholic. Let's go real old school and play kings."

"I'm so making these rules." Anya grinned devilishly as she grabbed the pad of paper from the table.

"Don't die before I get back." Lexa shook her head at her friends and she got up and headed towards the kitchen. She looked out the window and saw Clarke standing on the small dock. She finished making her drink before heading towards the back door.

A minute later she stood next to Clarke on the dock as they both looked up at the stars. "I made you a drink."

Clarke looked over at her and gave her a weak smile. "Thanks but you know you don't have to make my drinks all night right?"

Lexa let out a chuckle. "I wasn't going to but it seemed like you needed one. Sure is a nice clear night though."

"Doesn't beat the night of the meteor shower."

"That was a good night. I'll never forget what that looked like because I'm pretty sure I'll never see it again." Lexa watched the smile on Clarke's face grow. "Guess you still know me pretty well. You stalking me again?" She knew why Clarke was outside and she knew that Octavia had been right, they needed to start to communicate better. She had been the one shut down all communication so she figured it was on her to try and repair it.

"I never stopped knowing you." The smile on Clarke's face faded and Lexa silently wished she hadn't said anything.

"I think you've more than proved that but I'm a simple girl."

Clarke took a sip of the drink Lexa had made her and shook her head. "Nothing about you is simple but we should get back inside before they think I've killed you and dumped your body."

"The sad thing about that is that they would probably help you."

"They love you, even Octavia. I think she still cries over your breakup sometimes when she tries to talk to me about Maui."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Maui is an island in Hawaii, muai thai is what you are trying to refer too."

"Yeah that, whatever let's go back inside."

"Lead the way Griffin."

 **XOXO**

As they got closer to the cottage they could hear the bass roaring through the speakers. "I'm not drunk enough for this!" Clarke shook her head as she managed to down the rest of the drink Lexa had made her.

When Clarke appeared back in the living room she heard Anya scream and put her arm in the air. "I'm getting married so we're having a dance party."

Clarke's eyes went wide as Lexa moved into the room behind her. "She's crazy." Lexa whispered in her ear. "And I didn't get a dance party."

"That's because..." Anya stopped herself from what she was going to say, "I'm cooler than you."

"Now that we found love what are we gonna do." Octavia wrapped her arm around Clarke's shoulder as she started to sing.

"With it." Clarke finished with a laugh as she took Octavia's beer and started to drink it.

"Come on Lex, we know you know the words!" Raven grinned as she and Anya moved towards their friend and sandwiched her between them as they started to dance.

"Yeah Lex, I didn't drive all this way for you to be a mute. Let loose like back in the day." Echo grinned from where she stood in the doorway. The girls all screamed as and hugged her before Clarke handed her a beer, telling her she was going to need it.

"Fineee. Give me this!" Lexa grabbed the bottle Anya was holding and held it up. "Now let me take time to set your mind and body free. So why don't you just stretch, stretch for a sec. Shake me shake me baby baby bake me. No need to fake here I am come and take me." She grinned the way she used to when she was trying to pick up girls and it made everyone in the room laugh, including Clarke.

"Wind your body, baby move your body, I see you slip sliding, come on now do it hottie." Anya winked as her and Clarke started dancing together.

"I'm not quite sure as to what is going down but I'm feeling honky dory 'bout this thing that I found." Clarke wrapped her arm around Anya's waist and pulled her closer as Octavia came up behind her and gave her a sloppy kiss on the neck causing them both to burst out into another fit of laugher.

This was the way it was supposed to be, all of them together regardless of her and Lexa's issues. Her friends had been right and it wasn't fair to put them in the middle even though she hadn't intentionally meant too. Looking over she saw Raven, Lexa and Echo dancing around like a bunch of fools and if it wasn't for the alcohol she may have shed a tear because she realized just how much she had missed this. Every person in the room had impacted her life in some way shape or form and she was herself because of each of them.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Freshman Year_

 _Lexa took a nervous breath as she heard her the knock on her door. She had had a busy week, which meant she had barely seen Clarke, something she had come so accustomed too. Even if they only hung out at the library to get some readings or homework done. They hadn't kissed since that first time on her couch but she could still feel it lingered on her lips and the way it felt to have her arms around the other woman. She knew Clarke was worried about her old player ways but in reality she had never truly been as much of a player as everyone had thought. But that was for her and only her to know._

 _"Hi." She grinned as she opened the door and saw Clarke standing in front of her. Her blonde naturally wavy hair rested perfectly on her shoulders on top of her black blazer. "You look amazing." Lexa grinned as she took in Clarke's appearance, she was truly in awe of how beautiful the woman standing before her was._

 _"Hi, thank you and you're beautiful. I love you hair like that, you should really leave it down and curly more often."_

 _"I look like a kid when it's like this."_

 _Clarke shook her head no. "You're breath taking. Shall we?"_

 _Lexa nodded as she stepped out of her room and locked the door behind herself._

 _After a short ten minute walk they ended up back at Clarke's building. "Did you forget something?"_

 _Clarke couldn't help but grin. "Nope, follow me." She grabbed a hold of Lexa's hand and led her towards the staircase instead of the elevator. So they definitely weren't going to Clarke's apartment._

 _"Should I be worried that you're going to kill me because I will be greatly missed." Lexa joked as Clarke led her up the steps to an old door._

 _Rolling her eyes the blonde pushed the door open and let her step through on her. Once she rounded the corner Lexa's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "A picnic on the roof?" Clarke nodded. "And I'm the player? I should have been taking tips from you."_

 _"So you like it?" Clarke questioned giving away just how nervous she was._

 _Lexa shook her head. "No, I love it. This is probably the nicest thing someone has ever done for me, especially for a first date."_

 _Clarke couldn't help the blush that took over her cheeks as they both sat down on the blanket she had set up before she left. "There's one more thing though."_

 _Lexa gave her a suspicious look at Clarke poured a glass of champagne. Which she would never get the answer to how she got it. "What else could there be?"_

 _"Close your eyes." So she did as Clarke stood up. "No peeking!" Another moment passed before she heard Clarke's next instruction. "Okay, you can open them." She told her as she sat back down and had a bite of a strawberry._

 _Lexa's mouth dropped open as she saw the wall of the building light up and the movie start to play. "How did you do that?"_

 _Clarke shrugged. "We had a projector lying around at home. I figured this was the perfect opportunity to pull it out and wipe the dust off of it."_

 _"I'm never going to forget this night."_

 _"I'm never going to forget you." A pause. "I know super cheesy but it works."_

 _"You've got game Griffin, I'll give you that."_

 _They couldn't stop smiling at one another as they finished eating dinner. Once they were done eating they moved closer together as Clarke pulled the spare blanket around them as they finished watching the movie._

 _"I know it's late but do you think we could stay up here a little longer and watch the stars, their my favourite."_

 _Lexa nodded. "I'd love too." She noticed Clarke shiver and pulled her in closer. "Did you want me to grab you a sweater or something?"_

 _Clarke thought for a moment before nodding. "Actually what do you say we go in, change and then come back out in some comfier clothes."_

 _"Now you're speaking my language."_

 _They ventured down to Clarke's apartment and slipped into sweat pants and a hoodies. Clarke knew the moment Lexa put the Laguna sweater on that she probably wasn't getting it back, but she was okay with that. In her opinion it looked better on Lexa anyways. Five minutes later they were back on the roof, cuddled under the blankets looking at the stars._

 _Clarke moved her head just a little closer to Lexa's neck as she reached her hand over and intertwined their fingers. "Lexa?"_

"Yeah?" Lexa turned her head and finally realized just how close Clarke's mouth was to her neck.

 _"Kiss me again?"_

 _Without being asked again Lexa leaned down as Clarke tilted her chin up. Their lips met, softly at first but it didn't take long before Lexa was straddling Clarke's waist. The blanket draped around her shoulders so they were both still covered._

 _"I don't think I'm going to get tired of kissing you so be prepared to be kissed, a lot." Clarke grinned as they finally broke away for air._

 _It took Lexa a couple minutes to respond as her and Clarke stared into each other's eye like a bunch of love sick fools. The kind that make other people insanely jealous. "I can't wait." She finally answered only to be cut off by another kiss that she smiled into._

 **XOXO**

Lexa opened the bedroom door as quietly as she could. Clarke had gone to bed about a half an hour ago, leaving her and Anya to talk about the wedding, among other things. She snuck in and fumbled around her suitcase for her pajamas. She was almost in the clear when she heard Clarke grumble at her. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you, I was just getting some clothes, I'm headed to bed."

She almost had the door closed before Clarke spoke again. "You can sleep in here if you want, I know Anya is sharing with Echo, you shouldn't have to sleep on the couch."

"It's okay, you were nice enough last night, I'll be fine, I'm drunk enough to pass out just about anywhere."

Clarke sat up and leaned back on her forearms. "Lexa stop arguing, the pillow wall is still intact and we both know you still won't be able to sleep. I'm the one that's mad so what I say goes and I say go change and then get in bed and sleep."

"And I'm the commander?" She joked with a nod as she went to the washroom to change.

An hour later Clarke was starting to regret her choice as Lexa turned over. "Okay, what's wrong?" She grumbled once again, scaring Lexa just a little.

"What? Nothing. Sorry I'll be still."

Clarke sighed heavily, telling herself that she should turn around and go back to trying to sleep. "You only toss and turn like that when you're stressed out and something is wrong so what tell me what the hell is wrong so we can both get to sleep sometime before Christmas."

Lexa swallowed. She really wasn't expecting Clarke to call her out and she was more than happy to not talk about it, especially with her ex but she knew between Clarke and the alcohol she wasn't about to win. "Costia and I got into a huge fight the other day. It's just been on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Clarke really didn't want to talk about it but she did feel somewhat bad.

Lexa shook her head and even though it was dark Clarke saw the movement. "Not really, it'll be fine it's just frustrating. It seems like she doesn't know me some times and it sucks but I can't be someone I'm not. I'll never be someone I'm not. I won't apologize for sticking up for the people I care about."

"I don't know anything about your relationship and it's definitely not my place to say anything but no one should ever expect you to be someone else. She has to accept you for who you are, faults and all. I'm sorry that you're fighting."

"Thank you, that means a lot."

"Now get some sleep before I kick you out of the bed and make you sleep with Raven."

Lexa's eyes shot open as she laid back down. "I'll sleep I promise just don't make me sleep with her, she kicks."

"Goodnight Callaway."

"Night Griffin."

 **TBC…**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"You two are being cordial." Octavia noted as she Clarke and Raven laid out on the boat enjoying the warm day.

"I figure you're both right. I'm still royally pissed off at her but what happened was done four years ago and we've all moved on. Being angry is far too draining and time consuming and from what I can tell she's beating herself up about it pretty badly."

Raven nodded. "She really is but does that mean you still have a soft spot for her?"

Clarke rolled her eyes as she turned over onto her stomach. "Not in the way you're thinking. She's always been too hard on herself, she expects herself to be perfect which is totally unreasonable. From the sounds of it her fiancé expects her to be perfect too but those are the choices she's made."

"True but you totally won the breakup." Raven and Clarke both looked at Octavia. "Yes you're single but you're loving it. You have a great career, like really great career, amazing friends. An amazing apartment in the city that, no offense to Laguna, I can't wait to get back too. You're a ten, and Costia is not. Don't get me wrong she ain't ugly but she's no where near as beautiful and intelligent as you are. Hell if I was at all gay I would have hit on you when you first met me about the apartment."

Clarke couldn't help but burst into laughter. "What's got giggles going?" Anya asked as her Lexa and Echo all stood on the dock next to the boat. Clarke couldn't stop her laughter as she turned back around, the sun glistening on her skin.

"We're discussing how hot Clarke is and that she'll find some equally hot doctor to settle down with."

Lexa would have lied if you asked her whether or not she had checked Clarke out in that moment because she totally did. But if she did admit it she'd say it was the sun and bikini's fault.

"Maybe you'll get a real life Mc Dreamy." Echo grinned as she got onto the boat and sat next Raven.

"Nah she'd prefer a McSteamy." Anya winked as she sat down in the captain's seat.

Clarke put her sunglasses back down and closed her eyes with a smile on her face. Her friends at least had decent taste. "I think she'd prefer more of the Erin Lindsey type on Chicago P.D." Lexa finally spoke as she sat in the seat next to Anya.

"Thank you, finally someone gets it. I don't want to date someone I work with. Too messy and god damn that Lindsey is hot."

"Wait." Everyone looked over at Octavia who had actually stood up. "If you're into cops, does that mean?" She trailed off before everyone started killing themselves laughing as she went over and straddled Clarke's lap. "Because hell yeah! Don't tell Lincoln though, he might get jealous."

"You know you're the only one for me."

"What the hell! I thought I was the only one for you?"

Clarke looked over to the other end of the boat at Raven. "You're my sugar momma." She winked at her friend.

"What am I then?" Anya asked, feeling like she needed to get in on this.

"Engaged." Clarke laughed as she stretched her arms out. "Okay are we doing this or not, since you three took forever!"

"Yeah I really want to go." Octavia grinned.

"You're from New York how do you even know how to wake board?" Echo questioned as she handed Lexa her boarding boots.

Octavia rolled her eyes with a laugh. "We do have beaches in and around New York." They all laughed as Octavia pulled out her own board with a grin on her face.

"Hampton's bitch." Clarke stuck her tongue out at Echo as she moved around to the captains chair.

"What?" Anya looked at her with her typical bitch look.

"I'm the captain of this boat."

Everyone went silent as they watched the scene in front of them. "Since when?"

"Since you nearly killed me!" Lexa chimed in from behind Clarke who had a smug look on her face.

"You know for two people that don't like each other you sure as hell still tag team the rest of us."

Clarke grinned from ear to ear. "Our dislike of each other doesn't outweigh our dislike of any of you winning."

"At anything." Lexa added with a smile as she got flipped off by her best friend.

Clarke shooed Anya away with a hand motion as the woman got up allowing her to sit down.

"Thanks, I really didn't want to die today." Lexa said without looking up as she tightening the straps on her boots. "Though she is probably going to kill me when she helps me into the water." She looked over at Clarke who had a smile on her face. "Wanting me dead is a little extreme, should I be sleeping with one eye open?"

"You'll never know."

"Stop your domestic and lets get this party started. Wake tag work for you?"

"Doesn't it always?"

Octavia grinned as she got in the water. "Yeah but you are getting old."

Lexa gave her the middle finger before getting into the water herself.

"Play me my song muffin!" Octavia yelled from the water.

Reaching over Clarke turned on the stereo and started the engine.

 **XOXO**

"You've gotten close with Anya." Lexa noted as she and Octavia sat in the water waiting to be picked up.

Octavia nodded. "Yeah, she's awesome. I can see why you and Clarke talk so highly of her."

"Octavia?" The woman turned her head and looked at Lexa.

It took her a moment but the words finally came out. "I'm sorry. I didn't just hurt Clarke, I hurt you too."

Octavia shook her head no. "It's not me you have to apologize too, you have to apologize to yourself and when it comes to Clarke, no amount of sorry can make up for it. You know her take on things, don't say, just do. You can't make up for losing four years of time, and you sure as hell can't make up for how it ended but if you want to make amends. Talk to her."

"I don't know how. I don't deserve it, I blamed her for four years, I was the one that didn't answer her calls or emails and then finding out she came home for me and I was gone…" she paused as she looked up at the sky, "I don't know how to speak to that. I barely know how to speak to you about it. I missed so much of your lives and I didn't realize how much that meant to me until I saw her standing there in the hospital." She let out a small chuckle. "I came into the emergency room and as they moved me towards one of the beds I saw her standing there flipping through a chart all doctorly. I barely recognized her at first, then she smiled and I knew it was her. I felt frozen, I didn't know how to feel or what to think and all that hit me was I missed her achieving her dreams. I missed you achieving your dreams. I'm just glad she didn't suffer because of me."

Octavia shot her a look and splashed water in her face. "If you think she didn't suffer you are a fool. For the longest time she was like a robot, she'd get up, eat, go to work, sleep and repeat. I can't tell you how many times she played your old voicemail messages just so that she could fall asleep. She loved you like you would never believe, hell I loved you. You walked away from it all Lexa and I'll never understand why but it was four years ago and four years at this point in our lives is a long time. Wounds heal but scars remain. Sometimes those scars hurt and sometimes you put some vitamin E on 'em and move on. It's time we all moved on, I mean hell you and I are wading in a lake and I haven't tried to kill you."

Lexa smile and threw her arms around Octavia. "I missed you."

"Okay there sailor, back up I can only keep one of us afloat at a time and it's gonna be me but I missed you too. Clarke doesn't understand a thing about well anything other than shoes and surgery. Do you know how many episodes of Grey's Anatomy I have had to watch? I could probably recite you verbatim, Callie and Arizona's entire relationship!"

Grinning Lexa leaned her head back into the water and laughed. "At least it usually comes with ice cream."

"Not anymore, now it just comes with paper work. She's boring in her old age."

Lexa shook her head. "She's hiding the ice cream from you, smart girl."

They looked up as they saw the boat coming back around at them. "What?"

"Nothing."

Octavia narrowed her eyes. "You better tell me where she hides it! And if you so much as look at her the wrong way I will drown you next time Callaway. I don't care how much your worth, besides your mother loves me and I'm pretty sure she loves Clarke more than you."

"On that you're probably right. I don't want to hurt her, I just want things to be civil and maybe a little happier."

Octavia nodded. "You aren't entirely forgiven but you're getting there Lex Luther." She offered the girl a smile before the boat stopped in front of them and Anya reached her hand out to help her back into the boat.

"She's still alive." Raven noted as she stood next to Octavia near where Clarke was sitting.

"I promised not to hurt her, this time."

Raven looked at Clarke with a scowl. "You're no fun."

 **XOXO**

"Come on Clarke, you have to for old time's sake!" Echo and Raven both whined as Raven handed her a guitar.

Clarke rolled her eyes from her lawn chair as the group or friends sat around the fire pit. "I didn't come up here as your entertainment."

"Yes, you did." Anya informed her. "Now play."

"Ugh, fine. What do you want to hear, and I don't play as much anymore so go gentle."

Octavia shook her head. "You played the other night at the café."

"That was months ago!"

"Formalities."

At that moment Clarke caught Lexa's eyes as she walked out of the cottage, sweat pants on, curly hair up in a messy bun and two beers in her hands. She swallowed the smile she wanted to give her and settle for a much smaller one instead. She was only human and Lexa was beautiful, sometimes the body did what it wanted, it was scientific fact.

"Are they forcing you to play again?"

"Aren't they always." Clarke smiled as Lexa handed her a beer. "Thank you."

"Figured you'd need it." They smiled at each other and before either knew what was happening a flash went off.

"Really Ray?" Clarke shook her head only to see Raven shrug with a grin on her face. Taking a sip of her beer Clarke started to strum away on the guitar. She tried not to notice it but she saw Lexa seem to relax into the chair next to her. It was something she hadn't really seen much of, Lexa relaxing and though she didn't want it to it bothered her. Regardless of their present and their history she didn't like seeing her so stressed. She had to remind herself that they were different people and that maybe carefree Lexa didn't really exist anymore and that upset her.

"It's seven o'clock on the dot, I'm in my drop top cruising the streets. Ohh ya baby. I got a real pretty thang that's waiting for me. I pull up anticipating, good love don't keep me waiting. I got plans to put my hands in places that I've never seen girl you know what I mean." She winked at Anya as she continued to strum, trying not to laugh. Let me take you to a place nice and quiet there ain't no one there to interrupt. Ain't gotta rush, I just wanna take it nice and slow. Cause I've been waiting for this for so long, making love until the sun comes up baby. Now here we are drivin' round town and I'm comtemplating just where I'm going to lay you down. Girl you got me saying my my my, I wish that I could pull over and get this thing started right now. I wanna do something freaky to you baby."

"Oww Oww." Octavia yelled as Clarke finished strumming.

"Was that good enough for you?" The blonde looked over at Anya who grinned and gave her a small nod.

Echo shook her head. "Nope, what else you got Griffin?"

Clarke thought for a moment and finished half her beer before starting to play again. Half way through the song her friends, including Lexa, joined in. "Now that that don't kill me can only make me stronger. I need you to hurry up now cause I can't wait much longer. I know I got to be right now cause I can't get much wronger." They all laughed as they tried to finish the song but failed miserably.

 **XOXO**

"I really do not understand how we used to do this all night." Lexa yawned as she walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge.

Clarke couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Tell me about it, I can handle the staying up but the drinking all day is another story."

"At least we have sweat pants, which I haven't worn all day in god only knows how long."

"Sorry." Clarke said as she accidentally bumped into Lexa as she opened the freezer. Reaching into the back, buried under some a box of pogos she pulled out a small tub of Ben and Jerry's.

"It's okay." Lexa laughed as she leaned against the counter and saw what Clarke brought out of the freezer.

"Shh, tell anyone and I'll kill you." She grinned as she pulled a spoon out of the drawer before sitting on the counter across from Lexa.

Lexa made a zipping motion of her lips. "Secret is safe with me."

"Good." Clarke said through a mouthful of ice cream. "You want some?"

"You're going to share your secret stash of ice cream with me of all people?" Lexa looked skeptical. "What's wrong with it?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Nothing but fine I'll eat it all myself. You've just seemed stressed I was attempting being nice but I can go back to being bitchy and hating your guts."

"You said you didn't hate me." Lexa said as she took a spoon out of the drawer and moved closer to where Clarke was sitting. "And why do you think I'm stressed?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "My medical degree, and I pretty much wrote the book on knowing what's wrong in the world of Lexa Callaway. It's an old copy but I still wrote it."

"Just work, relationships, all that fun adult stuff we used to be so excited for." Lexa answered as she took a spoonful of ice cream. She watched as Clarke bit her lip in an attempt not to laugh. "What?"

"You kind of just dropped chocolate ice cream down the front of your sweater."

"Shit. This is the only one I brought with me."

Clarke could stifle the laugh any longer. "That was your first mistake but it's all good, you can borrow one of mine, we need to hide the evidence that this ever happened."

"Thanks, but I'm eating more of your ice cream before I change." Clarke nodded as Lexa leaned against the counter next to where Clarke was sitting, the tub of ice cream now sat between them.

"See, you're already feeling better, Ice Cream 1, Stress 0."

Lexa smiled. She hadn't done something like this in ages and it felt really good. "Ice cream always did make me feel better."

"Good ol ice cream." Clarke smiled as she and Lexa shared a look that they both held for just a moment too long.

"Anyways I'm headed to bed, I'm on vacation so I should probably sleep. I'll leave the bathroom light on for you."

Lexa nodded and finished her bite of ice cream. "I can sleep on the couch."

"We've been over this, it's fine. Plus the pillow wall is still standing. And I won't be mad if you need to finish the rest of that so long as you feel better." Lexa smiled as Clarke walked away. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

 **XOXO**

The next day was spent out on the boat, playing cottage drinking Olympics, which involved a slip n slide, flip cup and beer bong amongst other things. The biggest of all being, drinking, lots of drinking. By dinner everyone was sufficiently drunk and giggly.

However, as much fun as they were all having Clarke and Lexa still hadn't taken the time to talk things out. Neither of them knew how to start such a conversation or really what to say so instead they lived in the bliss of ignorance. Of pretending neither were hurt and that neither was angry. It seemed to be working out so far, except under the surface it really wasn't.

"Go and talk to her, make her listen." Octavia said as she nudged Clarke's shoulder gently as she stood on the back porch watching Lexa and Anya talk on dock.

"I might end up yelling, and this weekend wasn't about yelling."

"Maybe yelling is supposed to happen. Get it all out and let the crumbs fall where they may. Then when you're done we'll set off some fireworks."

Clarke nodded with a smile and a deep breath. Octavia was right this needed to happen, but she had liked having it seem as though the last four years had never happened. She took the first step down towards the water and saw Anya get up, thankful that Lexa had remained seated.

Anya didn't say anything as they passed one another but she did offer her a gentle hand on her shoulder and a small smile.

"I brought you this. Just don't spill it on my sweater, actually at this point I think that sweater is more mine than yours." Clarke fumbled over her words as she sat down next to her ex girlfriend and handed her the cup of coffee.

"I did buy it after all." Lexa took the mug from Clarke. "Thank you."

"Everything okay? You and Anya were out here for awhile."

Lexa nodded. "Yeah we were just talking." Looking away from the water she saw the look Clarke was giving her. "What?"

"Nothing, if you don't want to talk about it I understand."

Silence.

"Costia and I are fighting because I told her about our fight and how I was the one that screwed things up. I defended our relationship and she didn't like it but she doesn't have to. It was the past but that doesn't mean that it didn't mean something to me and I thought she understood that but she doesn't. We spent a long time together and I won't let anyone else say a bad thing about it because as bad as the end was everything was more than anyone could have asked for. Being with you changed me, helped me grow and shaped me. She thinks you came back here for me, I explained to her that that wasn't the case and she got angry. We haven't talked too much since."

"I'm sorry, it's never easy fighting with someone you love."

"No it's not. Thank you, for listening and for knowing that something was wrong."

"Pretty easy to notice so don't thank me."

Lexa finally looked at Clarke and held her stare. "Maybe not but regardless, thank you. For listening just now and last night with the ice cream. I don't deserve it."

"We're moving forward right?" Clarke asked, her breath hitched slightly in her throat.

"Yeah."

"Just because I'm mad doesn't mean I don't care about you. I've always cared about you and I will always care about you Lexa no matter what, you will always have a piece of my heart."

"You'll always have a piece of my heart too." The tears started to well up in both their eyes.

"How could you give up on us? When after so long we can still have moments like this. I know I left and it hurt you but you promised you wouldn't give up on us, you promised you wouldn't give up on me." A tear fell down Clarke's cheek as she tried her hardest to keep it together.

Lexa studied the woman sitting next to her for long moments before responding. "It took me a long time to figure out but I never gave up on you, I gave up on me. I felt you slipping away and I felt like I didn't fit into your world and then I saw you and Bellamy and my mind took it somewhere it never should have but never because I didn't trust you. It was all me Clarke, I was being selfish and stupid but I never gave up on you, it just took me way to long to realize who I had given up on and you deserve better than that. You deserve the moon and the stars and the entire galaxy." The tears started to fall as she finally admitted what she had known for awhile. "I was mad at you for so long for so many things. Every time something new happened in my life I'd get mad at you for not being there, like at my graduation, and when I was called to the bar, when my dad got sick, among other things. But as it turned out the only person I should have been mad at was myself, and I think a part of me knew that all along."

"I was at your graduation." Clarke managed to get out before looking up at the nights sky. "I had it circled on my calendar since the moment you told me when it was. So when the day came, I flew home. It took me a long time to decide whether or not to go and I almost missed it. But I loved you, I loved you so damn much Lexa. I loved you enough to take a chance. Even after you went off to Europe, I felt like I owed it to us to try. I sat in the back. I watched you walk across the stage and I can't tell you how proud I was seeing you accomplish your goals. I waited until most everyone had cleared out of the room to approach you and as I got closer I saw Costia walk over to you and I saw you kiss. That's when I knew that my life wasn't a fairytale and you weren't my happily ever after."

Neither spoke as Clarke looked up at the sky and Lexa looked at Clarke. "I was hurt and angry but as long as you were happy then I was happy for you. That's also when I let it all go. I got on the plane and never looked after that. I thought about calling when your dad got sick but I didn't feel it was my place."

"You were there?"

Clarke nodded. "I was there, I was always there. You know Costia isn't entirely wrong. I didn't come back here for you but I did come back to California because of you." Lexa looked confused as she squeezed the mug between her hands. "I applied for this job five years ago. So two years ago when they called I declined but then my mom practically begged and that's how I ended up back here. She told me it was for a couple of months and then I could reevaluate."

"I can never do anything to make up for what I did, what I cost us. You should hate me, you should be angry with me. You were right when you said that we shouldn't be friends."

Clarke shook her head. "Sadly for once our friends are right when they say it was the past, you were right when you said it was the past and that you wanted to move forward. I supposed I needed a little time to be angry with you to your face though. I held it in for so long that when I finally did see you it came out like a hurricane. You know I've never liked Costia and I'm sorry I don't think that will ever change but I do like seeing you happy."

"I like seeing you happy too. When your mom let me watch you in the O.R. I could see it all over your face. How happy it makes you. You've never needed anyone to make you happy." Lexa let out a laugh through the tears. "Well except for whomever is lying on the table."

Clarke couldn't help the laugh that came out. "True. I've never been able to stay mad at you for very long. I hate it."

"You know it's never been the ice cream right?"

Clarke sniffled. "I know." More tears fell as they both looked out at the water and then back at each other. "What do you say to moving on? To living in the now and the future and leaving the past in the past and all the pain with it?"

Lexa shook her head. "That would mean leaving the happiness with it and I'm not entirely okay with it."

"We can keep the good times, there always were more of those anyways."

"I don't deserve it."

"We aren't those people anymore, you aren't the same person that made those decisions. Our lives are nothing like they were. I'm not saying it's okay to be perfect and I suddenly want to get coffee with you every second Tuesday of the month but I'm saying that we can all hang out and that when everyone is together things stay the way they have this weekend."

"I'd like that very much Clarke."

The blonde took a deep breath as the way Lexa said her name sent chills down her spin. "I don't want to be mad at you anymore, at least not about the past."

"Likewise. Can we sit out here for a little while longer though before we go and get drunk off our faces?"

Clarke let out another laugh. "Yeah, that sounds good. You can tell me about being a CEO. The youngest female fortune 500 CEO is as brilliant as they come."

"You saw that?" Lexa started to blush as Clarke recited the headline.

"Saw it, I read it. It was on our fridge for about a month before I got pissed and tossed it." They both laughed as they wiped the last of their tears away.

They stayed outside for another ten minutes before standing up and taking a long look up at the sky and walking back towards the cottage to end their holiday weekend in style.

 **XOXO**

The next morning Lexa woke up to a pounding migraine. She could barely open her eyes and she remembered why she didn't drink like that very often. She felt something warm brush against her leg and as her senses came back to her she slowly opened her eyes a little more only to find herself staring into bright blue eyes. They were inches apart, the pillow wall scattered all over the bed but the only part of them that was touching were their legs and even then it was the faintest of touches but just enough to be felt.

"Morning." Clarke whispered as she backed away slowly. She smiled as Lexa closed her eyes.

"Mm."

"I take it I'm driving back." Another slight nod. "Okay I'll wake you when we're closer to leaving."

 **XOXO**

Two hours later Lexa opened her eyes once again to the same pounding in her head. Rolling over she grabbed her phone off the bedside table and noticed the bottle of white cherry Gatorade and advil. She smiled and gladly took both.

 **XOXO**

Sure enough a few hours later, Clarke sat in the driver's seat of Lexa's Jeep as they pulled into the Laguna marina. Lexa had her sunglasses on and looked like she was closer to being a zombie than a human.

"Thank you for helping me with this and for driving. I hate how much you and Octavia can drink."

Clarke laughed as she got back into the Jeep. "Your welcome and we've spent many years training."

Ten minutes later Clarke stopped the Jeep outside of her house and saw her friends waiting for her outside of Anya's. "What are you all still doing out here?" Lexa asked quietly.

"Waiting for Clarke so we can all go and eat." Lexa nodded as Clarke started moving her things out of the backseat.

"Actually do you want to come with us?" Clarke offered as Lexa started to unbuckle her seat belt. Everyone else looked shocked but Lexa simply nodded and put her seatbelt back on. "Well get in then." Clarke looked at everyone else as she brought her bags inside quickly.

Five minutes later with the radio much louder than Lexa would have liked in her current state the five friends sang their hearts out like they were back in highschool. Their first mistake was letting Raven, Anya and Octavia sit together in the backseat. "Her boyfriend, he don't anything about her. He's too stoned, Nintendo I wish that I could make her see, she's just the flavour of the week." They all laughed as they came to a stoplight, their hair blowing in the wind. Out of nowhere in her hungover state Lexa started playing the air guitar along with the song making them all laugh even though she regretted it the moment she stopped and the pain in her head crept on her again.

They never noticed Costia sitting on the coffee shop patio that was across from the light they were stopped at but she had definitely noticed them.

 **TBC…**

 **A/N:**

I have to be honest, I re-wrote this far too many times, so I hope I did it justice. As always I hope you like it and please feel free to come hang out with me on tumblr and talk to me about this or anything else.

faithangel3 dot tumblr


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"You let her drive your Jeep! You've never let anyone drive your Jeep." Lexa rolled her eyes as she sat at the table across from Costia.

"I couldn't exactly drive because I was hung over and it was like it was the first time she's driven it. That's where you're wrong, I haven't let anyone else but her drive it and I haven't let anyone drive it in a very long time because after her and I broke up, I almost sold her. I'm sorry Cos, but it's not like I just handed her the keys because I thought it was cute. I asked her to drive because I couldn't see straight."

"So you two are good?"

Lexa leaned back in her chair. "Yes we're good, we talked things out and agreed to move on and leave the past in the past."

"Did she admit she came for you?"

"Costia, seriously? I told you, she didn't come back here for me. She came back here for work, which if you haven't noticed she's practically married too. Work is the only love interest in her life and that's the way she likes it. What's with the insecurities?" Lexa stood up and walked over to her girlfriend.

"She's Clarke, I used to listen to you talk about how much you loved her and how amazing she was. It's clear she doesn't have feelings for you, she barely looks in your direction but it's easier to project it onto her than it is to think that maybe I'll never be enough. That you'll always love her more than you love me."

Lexa softened slightly. "I will always love Clarke but not the same way that I am in love with you. We have our own history and our future but you have to trust that. All I ask is that you respect that our lives our tied together. We aren't going to be going for coffee or dinner but we will run into each other and we will be at the same events and we will talk. Can you be okay with that?"

Costia thought about it for a second before nodding. "She's just really really hot."

"Again should I be worried? Because I swear if you take that ring off and propose to her with it I'm done." Lexa joked to ease the tension.

"Can I drive the Jeep?"

"Hell no, no one drives the Jeep unless I am in dire need. The day that happens you will be the first to get the keys though."

"Okay deal."

 **XOXO**

"You're on my beach awfully early this morning."

Lexa nearly dropped her surfboard at the sound of the other voice. "What the hell Clarke!"

Clarke laughed from where she sat on her fence. "Couldn't help it, you seemed lost in thought."

"I was and sorry I wasn't aware that I was on your beach." Lexa raised her eyebrows at the other woman and finally took realized what Clarke was holding in her hands. "Stalking me again? In your scrubs?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Always thinking things are about you. I got home from work not too long ago and figured I get the sunrise on paper before going to bed. It make's the day feel more accomplished."

"Did you only save three people instead of a hundred tonight?"

"Four actually, really quiet night but I hate coming home and just going to sleep. As much as I can stay up all night it doesn't mean I like missing the day so I try and get it down on paper."

Lexa nodded, she liked that Clarke was opening up a little and she found it interesting how different she was but the same all in one. "May I?" She walked over and peaked over at Clarke's sketchpad.

"Sure." Clarke turned it towards her.

"Clarke, it's beautiful, as always."

"Thank you, but no I'm not selling you this one."

Lexa snapped her fingers. "Damnit." She grinned as she picked her board up.

"But, if you want you can have this one." Clarke flipped the pages and pulled a piece of paper out of the book and handed it to the woman in front of her. "Wait, are your hands dry?"

"Yes, now let me see what I'm potentially buying. I'll have you know I drive a hard bargain…" She trailed off as she saw what Clarke was showing her, "…holy shit, Clarke this is, was this from that morning?" Lexa looked at the silhouette of herself standing with her surfboard, the colours of the sun rising above the water behind her.

"It is. I figured you might like it. I was going to give it to your mom but you seemed more suited for it."

"Are you sure?"

Clarke nodded. "I'm sure, it's of you anyways, only seems right."

"No one knows that though and you didn't when you drew it."

"You do, which makes it worth while."

"What else you got in there?" Lexa asked as she sat down next to Clarke.

"You want to see?"

Lexa nodded. "Unless you have to go to bed, god only knows how long you've been awake."

"Only about 27 hours so I'm okay for now."

"These are amazing. New York really is beautiful." Lexa flipped through the pages and was entirely amazed. She had forgotten how good Clarke was at capturing the beauty in just about anything.

"Thanks, it means a lot coming from a woman in a bikini."

Lexa laughed. "I look damn good in this bikini, hottest CEO there is."

"I don't know about that, I've met a few hot CEO's in New York."

"Hottest CEO in Los Angeles?" Clarke wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Fine, Laguna?"

Again Clarke shook her head. "I think that's your dad."

"Ouch, you're feisty in the morning."

"Yeah but you already knew that."

Lexa grinned and stood up. "Touche." Clarke handed her the drawing before standing up herself. "You sure, this could be worth a lot of money one day."

"Money's never been a priority of mine." She winked. "I'm sure, consider it a late graduation present."

"Thank you, but I should get going before I'm late for work and I'll let you get some sleep."

xoxo

"They're totally talking outside on the beach. They even look somewhat flirty." Octavia grinned as she pressed the phone to her ear as she looked out her bedroom window at the exes laughing with one another.

"Looks like our plan worked." Anya smiled from her end of the line with a yawn.

"Yeah now we just need to get rid of prissy pants."

The line went silent. "Raven, we talked about this, this was not about getting them back together it was only about getting them to talk." Octavia shook her head as she rubbed her temples.

"I agree with O, they definitely should not be together but I'm glad they're back to being cordial. Then again I'm all for getting rid of the stuck up one, just to get rid of her. Lexa will get over it." They all laughed at Anya's dislike of her best friend's fiancé before saying their goodbyes.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Freshman Year_

"I am so excited for this. I've been wanting to go for months but Raven and Anya didn't think they'd be able to make it."

" _And yet you still bought the tickets." Lexa laughed as she put her shoes on with Clarke standing in the doorway._

" _It's college I figured I'd make friends and I was right because you are just as excited as I am."_

" _I love music and spending the day with a pretty girl is always a good thing." Lexa put her hand out for Clarke to take as she moved away from the door. She felt Clarke try and help pull her up but instead she pulled her down onto her lap. They both laughed as Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist, holding her in place._

 _Without waiting any longer Lexa leaned forward and kissed Clarke. Her hands ghosted over the smooth skin of Clarke's back as their kiss deepened. They had decided to take things slow, they wanted to do it all right. They wanted everything to be as perfect as it could, which meant nothing more than some heavy making out. Neither women mentioned how hard going slow was because they were so attracted to one another but they wanted to make sure that it wasn't merely physical. Their lives were too closely connected for them to simply spend a night together and for things to fall apart before they even really began._

 _A quiet hum of approval came from Clarke as she felt Lexa's hands trailing a little bit higher on her back. With what little resolve she had left she pulled away with a large smile on her face. "We're going to be late."_

 _Lexa nodded as her grip around Clarke loosened without letting her go. "I think you're right."_

" _Are you going to let me go?"_

 _The brunette shook her head with a smirk. "I don't want to but I guess I will." She finally let go and watched as Clarke got off her lap. Instantly she missed the feeling of having Clarke so close to her but she figured it was for the best. "Let's go get our dance on."_

 _Even without moving Clarke started swaying back and forth. Smiling Lexa took a hold of the hand she was holding out and stood up. She grabbed her purse as Clarke led them out the door. "Lead the way Commander."_

 _Lexa rolled her eyes at the nickname. "I'm not the Commander anymore!"_

" _It's like being the president, once you the Commander, you'll always be the Commander." Lexa gave her a look as they walked down the stairs hand in hand. "Okay, fine I'll just go find myself another sexy Commander."_

" _Sexy Commander?" Clarke nodded. "Okay, I can maybe handle that."_

" _That's what I thought. I win."_

 **XOXO**

"Lex is that you?"

"Yeah it's me mom," she answered as she walked into the family kitchen to find her mother making a pitcher of iced tea.

"Can you do me a favour?"

Lexa nodded as she gave her mother a hug. "Of course, anything for you."

Her mother rolled her eyes with a smile. "Can you bring these back to the Griffin's. Abby brought over some cookies for your father and I always feel bad not returning the Tupperware.

"Abby made cookies and I didn't get any! She makes the best cookies, and you make the best cake and I always miss out."

Elizabeth shook her head. "Good thing Clarke made them then. We're all far too spoiled with her being home but I think I've seen less of her now than I did when she was living in New York. I'm glad to have her home but I do miss that wonderful apartment of hers." She trailed on before she realized that she was speaking with her daughter. "Sorry."

Lexa waved her hand. "It's fine, we talked, and we're on much better terms. I can bring it by and Clarke works, a lot. Which is probably why Octavia has been spending so much time with Raven and Anya." Elizabeth could tell that fine wasn't great but the small smile that appeared on her daughters face was very telling.

"That's a scary thought." Her mother laughed. "Yes she does, but when she speaks of it she gets the biggest smile on her face, she loves it and that's all I could have ever wanted for her. So much, effort and hard work, I'm so proud that it all paid off. Don't worry darling, I'm proud of you too." She winked at her daughter before pouring them both a glass of the iced tea. "Abby said she'd be the only one home tonight, just so you don't have to put make up on before you go over."

"What?" Lexa shook her head.

"You heard me Lexa, don't give me that I do no such thing look because you do. You don't need it though, you're beautiful as you and believe me, Clarke has seen you pretty wrecked."

This time it was Lexa that rolled her eyes. "Seriously? It was one time."

"Is that why you and Costia were fighting about her driving the Jeep?"

"Okay, fine I get it and thank you. I'll bring them by after my run." She kissed her mother's forehead with a laugh as she walked out of the kitchen.

 **XOXO**

Lexa rang the doorbell and waited. After about a minute she rang the doorbell again. Still nothing. She turned the doorknob and walked into the house. She knew she was probably going to get yelled at for ringing the doorbell, Abby was always telling her just to walk in. But as soon as the door was open she heard the sound of music. Curious she moved further into the house towards the music and was not surprised when she saw who was standing in the kitchen. Though she did feel a little bad for walking in on such a moment. With the music being so loud she understood why no one had answered the door.

Clarke was dancing around the kitchen in an over sized grey hoodie and a pair or wonder woman pajama shorts that were barely peaking out from underneath the sweater. She had a large plastic spoon in her hand, which she occasional sang into as she started mixing the contents of the bowl that sat atop the counter. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and her glass of wine was full but the bottle it sat next too was half empty.

She backed away from the counter and danced a little more as she continued to sing. "This is we do it, it's Friday night and I feel alright." Opening the fridge she pulled out a couple eggs before adding them to the bowl and taking a long sip of her wine.

"You gotta get your groove on before you get paid!" She took a pan out and set it on the counter before setting little scoops of what looked like dough onto it.

"This is how we do it all hands are in the air and wave em for here to there." Lexa couldn't help the smile that crossed her face watching the blonde dance around like the worlds biggest goofball. She knew she should probably say something to let the other woman know she was standing there but she couldn't bring herself too. Without realizing it she bit her lip and tried not to laugh. This was the Clarke Griffin she knew and memories that she had tried so hard to forget about suddenly started to flood back into her memory. It made her feel weird but not in a bad way. More than anything it made her want to join in like she used too.

"Holy shit! How long have you been standing there?" Clarke yelled over the music snapping Lexa back into reality.

"Not that long, my mom said your mom was going to be home and she asked me to drop these off. I'm a little sad I didn't get any though." Lexa yelled back with a smile on her face and Clarke continued to move with the music unintentionally.

"Mom got called in so I have the house to myself for once." She realized she was yelling for she turned down the stereo.

"I'm sorry, I rang the door bell but you didn't hear it and Abby is always yelling at me to just walk in."

Clarke nodded. "It's fine, nothing you haven't seen before." Her cheeks were a little flushed and Lexa couldn't tell if it was from the dancing or if Clarke was slightly embarrassed. "Thanks for bringing it back. I can use those now."

"You're welcome." Lexa grinned as she held the Tupperware out to Clarke. "Sorry again for barging in."

"It's fine Lex, really no need to apologize. Starting the run or finishing?"

"Finishing."

"Here a cookie for your hard work then." Clarke handed Lexa the warm, just out of the oven cookie and smiled when she saw Lexa's eyes light up.

Her eyes widened even more after the first bite. "Oh my God, these are still so good. I swear you put something illegal in them."

"Nope, just fun and a little love. But you're ruining my dance party so I'm going to turn the stereo back up."

Lexa nodded. "Thank you for the cookie, have a good night pretty girl." She froze as the words came out, it was far too natural and she really hadn't meant to say them.

Thankfully Clarke laughed it off and turned the music back up. "Have a good one Commander." She waited for Lexa to leave before she finally took a breath, she knew Lexa hadn't meant to say those two little words but she had and now Clarke couldn't stop thinking about it. The way it sounded, the way her heart skipped a beat. Neither of which she had any control over.

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Freshman Year_

 _They had spent the entire day dancing and making new friends with other random festival goers. The night was starting to wind down as the moon took its place high in the nights sky. Clarke had her arm slung loosely around Lexa's neck as they danced together. Her whole body was tingling from being so close to her girlfriend. They moved completely in sync with one another and occasionally Lexa would lean forward and place a feather light kiss on her neck._

" _If you keep doing that, I may not be able to keep my hands to myself."_ _Lexa grinned before placing a kiss on Clarke's lips this time before spinning her around so that her back was pressed against Lexa's torso. Her hands went down to Clarke's hips as they continued to move as if no one else was around._

" _I haven't had this much fun in a long time, thank you for inviting me." She whispered into Clarke's ear causing the other woman to shiver._

" _Thank you for coming with me but I'm actually getting really tired, you ready to call it a night?" Lexa nodded as she fought of a yawn of her own._

 _The drive home was quiet as they listened to the radio. Clarke's head was resting against Lexa's shoulder, their fingers tangled together sat on top of Clarke's lap. "I'm still buzzing from the day, we may need to make this a tradition."_

 _Clarke watched the smile on Lexa's face grow until she was sure it couldn't get any bigger. Yep, this girl was going to be big problems for her. "I'd like that a lot and I know what you mean, I can still feel the base from the speakers."_

" _You're incredibly sexy when you dance, did you know that?" Clarke wasn't sure if it was the lack of sleep that made her say it or the effects of dancing with the other woman all day._

 _She watched as Lexa blushed and squeezed her hand a little tighter. "I have to compete with you somehow because you are always sexy."_

" _Not always, you should see me in the morning. Complete mess."_

 _Lexa shook her head. "Not possible."_

" _Oh it is, believe me."_

" _Prove it." Lexa grinned. "Stay the night at my place? We don't have to take it anywhere, I'm just not ready for this day to be done, and I'm not ready to say goodnight yet."_

 _Clarke thought about it for a minute. "Okay."_

" _Yeah?" Clarke nodded. "You can borrow some of my clothes or we can stop at your place?"_

 _Clarke shook her head. "You're clothes should be more than okay."_

 ** _xoxo_**

 _Lexa had told Clarke to help herself to whatever she wanted as she went into the washroom to change and get ready for bed. When she came back out she saw Clarke, standing in one of her old t-shirts from high school that was three sizes too big. She couldn't tell whether or not she had shorts on underneath the shirt because she was too focused on Clarke's bare legs. Snapping out of it she smiled and moved her way over to Clarke who had just turned the stereo on._

" _I left a new tooth brush out for you." She managed to get out as her eyes met Clarke's._

" _Thank you, I'll be right back." The blonde smiled before she disappeared into the washroom._

 _Lexa got into bed and tried to control herself and her breathing. She had no idea how she had gotten so lucky. A few minutes later Clarke emerged from the bathroom and smiled when she saw Lexa in bed under the covers. Pulling the blanket back she got in and slid next to her girlfriend whose shirt had ridden up ever so slightly. Without waiting for another second Clarke leaned forward and pulled Lexa into a deep slow kiss._

" _Mmm." Lexa hummed as she felt Clarke's hand make contact with the bare skin of her hip. Without thinking she slid her arm around Clarke's back and pulled her on top of herself. Her hands ran up Clarke's back under her shirt and she was now certain that Clarke wasn't wearing any shorts under it. She pulled back slightly and leaned their foreheads together. "I'm sorry, I got carried away."_

 _Clarke moved her hands back down to Lexa's hips and gently scratched her nails over them. "Don't be sorry, I want you Lexa." Lexa had never heard a voice sound sexier in her entire life. The way Clarke had just said her name sent her mind spinning and she had to take a moment to process it. "If that's okay with you, I know we said we'd take things slow but after today, I think we've gone slow enough."_

" _I have been waiting for you to say that all day. I want you too Clarke, as long as you're sure."_

 _Not being able to speak any longer Clarke took a hold of one of Lexa's hands and led it to her stomach before pushing it lower and lower until it was under the waistband of her underwear. Lexa gulped as she felt Clarke for the first time. "I'm sure, are you?"_

 _Lexa nodded not being able to trust her words. She followed Clarke's example and led Clarke's hand from her hip to where she needed her most. "I'm sure too."_

 _Their hands stayed somewhat still as they leaned their foreheads back together, both their breathing was beginning to become a little erratic and a little quicker. "Have you been this wet all day?" Clarke whispered in her ear and Lexa was sure that she could have come right then and there from the sultry way the words sounded coming from Clarke's lips._

" _Have you?" She challenged as she slowly moved her fingers back and forth, watching Clarke's eyes try to stay open._

" _Mhmm, I told you, you're incredibly sexy when you dance."_

" _That's only because you haven't seen you and to answer your question, I've been like this since before we left the apartment this morning." She gulped as Clarke started to mimic the motions she was making._

 _She heard Clarke whimper as she moved her hand up Clarke's body until both her hands were sliding her shirt up. She looked at Clarke who gave her a slight nod letting her know that it was okay. Once it was off she threw it down on to the floor as Clarke did the same to her._

 _They tried to take their time, to explore each other's bodies but they had been waiting for too long and neither of them wanted to wait anything longer. They agreed with a look that they had time for that later but that for right now they just wanted each other._

 ** _xoxo_**

 _The next morning Clarke woke up with a smile on her face and a warm body pressed up against her own. She slowly let her eyes open and found Lexa still sleeping peacefully. Their bodies were tangled mess under the blankets, their pajamas were still in a pile on the floor. Their heads were sharing a single pillow and she was so thankful that neither of them had to get up to go to class because she wanted to spend the entire day like this._

" _Mmm, good morning pretty girl." Lexa husked from her half asleep state, her eyes still closed, her arms wrapping around Clarke just a little tighter before she placed a kiss on tip of Clarke's nose._

" _Good morning beautiful." Clarke grinned and leaned forward to kiss Lexa's bottom lip. "Can we stay like this all day?" She asked putting her head on Lexa's chest,_

 _Lexa shook her head no. "This may be a little presumptuous but can we stay like this always?"_

 _Clarke sighed in relief before placing a kiss on Lexa's jawbone. "Always and forever?"_

" _Always and forever."_

 _Clarke leaned her head up and smiled down at the woman lying in bed with her. She let her hands wander down between them "Did I mention how beautiful you are?"_

" _Once or twice." Lexa leaned up the rest of the way and gently bit Clarke's lip as she felt the woman's hand slide down lower between them._

" _Mmm, what were you dreaming about?" She asked once she reached her destination between Lexa's legs._

" _You." The brunette husked as she rolled them over. "What's your excuse?" She questioned as her knee moved between Clarke's legs._

" _My girlfriend is the most beautiful woman on the planet and she has very, very talented hands."_

" _Girlfriend?" She bit her own lip and her breath hitched as she felt Clarke's fingers run up and down her. Clarke nodded. "I like the sounds of that." She managed to get out followed by a moan._

" _And I like the sound of that." Clarke leaned up and started to pepper kisses across Lexa's collarbone._

" _Best morning ever."_

 **TBC…**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Happy birthday best friend." Lexa grinned as she let go of Costia's hand and pulled Anya into a tight hug.

"Thanks dork."

"Happy birthday A."

The birthday girl smiled as nicely as she could. "Thank you. Everyone is out back."

"Clearly Raven is in charge of the music." Lexa laughed as she heard the familiar sound of bass boom throughout the house.

"As if I would trust anyone else. I'll be out in a minute."

Lexa and Costia both nodded and walked out into Anya's backyard. Scanning the room Lexa looked puzzled when she saw Octavia but not Clarke.

"Hey O."

"Sup Lex Luther." Octavia grinned as she saw the look on Costia's face try to remain cordial. "This is my boyfriend Lincoln?" She pat his leg causing his attention to turn away from the discussion he was having with Gustus.

"Hi, nice meet you Lexa. I've heard a lot about her."

Lexa raised her eyebrows with a grin. "I'm certain none of it was good but it was probably all true. This is my fiancé Costia."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." They shook hands and Lexa gave Octavia a small but approving nod without anyone noticing.

"I'm going to get a drink, did you want one?" Costia asked, getting a nod from Lexa in response.

Octavia laughed as Lexa sat down next to her. "She's in New York, she's supposed to be back at some point tonight but I'm not sure when." Lexa tried to hide the questioning look but Octavia caught on to it. "Yes New York, something to do with work but I have no idea what exactly because she didn't know. They called her and asked her to fly out so she agreed. She didn't leave without saying goodbye, mostly because your mother would kill her."

"Liz would kill whom?" Costia smiled as she handed Lexa a glass of wine.

"Clarke, she's away on business." Octavia grinned as she saw the look on Costia's face change. "She's supposed to be back by now but her flight got delayed. I was just saying she should be here any minute." She added for good measure just to watch Costia squirm.

 **XOXO**

"Come on Commander you know how the dance goes?" The night was winding down and most everyone had left Anya's so Raven had made it her mission to get Lexa to dance.

"She's a suit she doesn't dance anymore with us blue collars." Echo joked as her and Octavia started dancing.

"Maybe later." Lexa grinned as she sat back down next to Costia and kissed her on the cheek.

"Why do they call you Commander? I've never understood it."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Just an old joke that won't die." She said loudly so that everyone would hear.

"Wait does she not know?" Octavia turned around with the biggest smirk on her face.

Lexa shook her head. "You were never supposed to know! Why can't high school die in high school?" As if on cue Raven started playing another song.

"You're getting married, no secrets."

"This will remain in the vault, she doesn't need to see that." To try and change the subject she started rapping to the song Raven was playing. It didn't take long for her other friends to join in. She looked to Costia to see if she wanted to join but the other woman simply smiled and sat next to Lincoln who looked utterly confused but was laughing with Gustus.

"Have they always been like this?"

Gustus nodded his head. "Sadly, it's gotten worse the older they get, I thought Octavia's presence would help but it seems Clarke found the one woman in New York who would make it worse." They both laughed.

"Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound, light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now. I'm going down down baby, yo street in a range rover." They all looked up to see a smiling Clarke standing by the back door in a pair of dress shorts, a fancy tank top and a white blazer. Her hair was pulled back into a loose low bun. It didn't take her long to walk over and wrap her arm around Anya's shoulder and start singing in her ear.

"I'm sorry I'm late, what did I miss?" She asked as she kissed her friends cheek.

"They were trying to get the Lexa to dance but she wouldn't." Lexa turned her head toward Gustus and stared him down as he grinned and drank his beer.

"Yeah Commander, lets see those old moves or do you really not have it anymore?"

She knew it was a challenge, she knew exactly what Clarke was doing but she also knew the same thing that Clarke knew, that it would work. "Play my damn song Raven. I don't know how I'm going to do this in a dress but we're about to find out. Hold my drink Cos." She handed her drink to her fiancé. "Wait," she took it back and finished it before handing the woman her empty glass.

As the beat started to play she started to stomp her feet on the wooden boards of the deck as she clapped her hands. As the beat got faster so did she and she couldn't help but grin at Costia's jaw on the floor. But she really couldn't help but laugh as she saw the look on Octavia's face.

A minute in she saw Clarke and Anya stand beside her and she knew it was a challenge. "Break it down!" She yelled and Octavia spit out her drink as Lexa stomped harder than she had been as Clarke and Anya started following her lead. They went through the entire routine over the next two minutes. When it was done they all looked at each other and burst into a fit of laughter. "State champs for a reason." Lexa put on her cockiest we're the best face as she moved right into Octavia.

"I'm suddenly glad I only walked in on lap dances! Because if I walked in on that probably would have ended up pulling out my gun."

"Looks like you still have it Commander, well done." Clarke saluted her as she grabbed herself a glass of wine.

Costia still looked somewhat confused. "I still don't get it."

Clarke grinned. "She was the leader of our dance team, some teams call it the general, sergeant anything like that. Lexa was the Commander because she's always been a little miss bossy pant that thought she could rule the world. So Commander, like Commander and Chief."

It all made sense then. "How did I never know that?" She looked at Lexa as the woman sat down next to her.

"Some things are better left unsaid. They've been calling me Commander since I was a kid because I was a little bossy."

"A little?" Raven questioned.

"I had to compete with that one, you know how bossy she is." She looked at Gustus who shook his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about, my fiancé is the sweetest woman in the world." He answered correctly as Anya sat on his lap and kissed his cheek.

"You're so whipped." Raven laughed with the shake of her.

"I have to agree you are whipped man." Monty piped in from where he had been standing next to Raven.

"You're all a bunch of assholes." She looked at all her friends before landing on Clarke.

"Me? What did I do? I haven't said a thing!"

Lexa narrowed her eyes at her. "You started it!"

Clarke laughed as she drank her wine and nodded at Costia looked at her for confirmation.

"That I did. When we were six years old. Our parents are best friends, me and this one, not so much. I was learning how to swim and little miss 'I know everything' decided to jump into my pool and started doing laps without water wings! Then commanded me to do it her way! Yes commanded!"

"I was trying to teach you not command you, not my fault you were slow."

"Put a sock in it Commander."

"How did you pass preschool, let alone med school?" Lexa chirped right back.

Clarke let out a snarky laugh without saying a word as her and Lexa looked at each other before they both started laughing because they knew exactly how Clarke had passed med school. "I had a good study buddy." She said as serious as she could muster and thankfully her comment went right over Costia's head.

 **XOXO**

 _New York – Five Years Ago_

" _Seriously, I don't know how I'm going to remember all of this."_

 _Lexa sat on Clarke and Octavia's couch as Clarke paced around the living room. "I have an idea!"_

 _Clarke looked at her and shook her head. "I don't have time for that right now Lex. Believe me I wish I did because you sitting there like that, all sexy and beautiful is not helping."_

" _Trust me and I'm far from sexy in my sweat pants."_

" _Actually those are my sweat pants and you look damn sexy in them." Clarke took in the way Lexa was sitting on the couch, her t-shirt was raised just enough for her hipbones to be poking out. Before her stare could last any longer Lexa stood up._

" _You're positive Octavia isn't coming tonight right?" Clarke nodded as she sat down._

" _Good."_

" _You know if I fail my test, no med school for me and then I'll have to bum around here, like literally become a bum." She heard Lexa laugh from the kitchen and the sound of cupboards opening and closing. "What the hell are you doing in there Lex?"_

" _Patience, and close your eyes. If you peak I will let you fail!" Lexa answered as she poked her head around to make sure Clarke's eyes were closed. She proceeded to turn the stereo on and found her play list on Clarke's ipod. She watched as the smirk appeared on Clarke's face the instant she heard the sound of 112's Anywhere start to play._

" _Can I open my eyes yet?"_

" _Nope. Keep em closed." Another moment and then Lexa was standing right in front of her. Clarke felt Lexa reach for her hand and she had to take a deep breath in order to remind herself to keep her eyes closed. She felt her girlfriend pull hand flat against her stomach. "Without opening your eyes, tell me where your hand is."_

 _Lexa watched as Clarke bit her lip before swallowing the lump in her throat. "Your abs. Mhmm, definitely your abs."_

" _Medically speaking."_

" _Your abdomen, I can't know exactly which because my eyes are closed."_

 _Lexa grinned. "Fine, open them."_

 _Clarke slowly opened her eyes slowly to the sight of her girlfriend standing in front of her in nothing but her bra and panties. "Why the hell did I move half way across the country again."_

 _It was Lexa's turn to smile as she leaned down and kissed her girlfriends cheek as she slowly pushed the woman's shirt up her body before taking it off completely. Glad that Clarke had finally given up arguing with her. "No more arguing?" She asked as she started to slide Clarke's sweat pants off. The woman only shook her head as Lexa leaned her back against the arm of the couch._

 _Clarke reached out for her once Lexa moved back only to watch Lexa shake her head. "But I stopped arguing."_

" _Yeah but you were right, we can't have you fail."_

 _Lexa sat back on Clarke's legs and reached over towards the coffee table and picked up the small paint can and paint brush. She watched as Clarke's face turned to one of confusion before she opened the lip and dipped the brush in._

" _Is that what I think it is?" Clarke asked once she saw what was on the brush as Lexa pulled it out of the can._

 _Lexa wiggled her eyebrows with a nod. "Mhmm, I was saving it for later but this seems like the perfect way to use it."_

" _Have I ever told you how extremely sexy your voice is?"_

 _Lexa couldn't hide the grin that took over her features as she swiped the chocolate dipped brush over Clarke's collarbone. "You may have told me once or twice. Now, it's study time. Where is the chocolate, in medical terminology?"_

 _Clarke's eyes involuntarily closed. "Clavicle." For getting it correct Lexa leaned down and slowly licked the chocolate off of Clarke's collarbone eliciting a small whimper._

 _Bringing the brush back up Lexa swiped it across Clarke's neck. "What is the name of the main artery of these veins run into?" Again Clarke gave her the right answer, or what Lexa thought was the right answer. She dragged her tongue across the chocolate until there was nothing left and gently sucked on Clarke's pulse point._

" _How do you even know if I'm telling you the right answer?"_

" _Are you complaining because you can go back to wearing a hole in the floor."_

 _Clarke shook her head quickly. "No, please continue this is the best study session I have ever had!"_

 _Looking over Lexa noticed one of Clarke's many textbooks on the table. With a mischievous smile she leaned over and opened it before applying more chocolate to Clarke's body._

 _For the next half an hour she teased, helped, definitely helped Clarke study by strategically placing the chocolate in small patches on different parts of her body. Sometimes she'd ask what body part it was, sometimes she'd asked what someone's ailment may potentially be if they had pain in certain areas but she always cleaned the chocolate up, so long as Clarke got the right answer._

" _And what is this?" She placed a trail of chocolate on Clarke's hip and a small dotted chocolate line across her waist to her other hip._

 _Lexa leaned over Clarke, her hands resting on the couch on either side of Clarke's head. "Ilium, ischium and pubis." Looking over at Clarke's textbook she read of what it said. "You don't need to consult the book, I know I'm right."_

" _Yes you are." Leaning down, holding her hair back with both hands Lexa dragged her tongue over the chocolate trail excruciatingly slowly. A hum of approval sounded throughout the apartment but neither Lexa or Clarke could tell you which on them it came from._

" _Fuck Lex." Clarke gasped out in an airy tone as she sat and ran her hands along her girlfriend's stomach and around to her back successfully pushing her back on the couch so that she was now on top. "My turn, because I can not wait any longer to get my hands on you."_

" _But it's study time." Lexa tried to use the sternest voice she could._

" _I'm good, very, very good. So lay back, shut up and let me study your body because it is far better than any textbook and I can assure you I have it etched permanently in my mind."_

 _Lexa was going to protest until she felt the cool stinky substance being dragged down her abs to her belly button. This time there were no questions, no answers and certainly no more waiting because as soon as Clarke put the brush down her lips were taking it ever delicious drop of chocolate that sat on Lexa's abdomen._

 _As soon as Clarke heard Lexa moan she slid her fingers behind Lexa's back and undid her bra. The moment the bra hit the floor chocolate was in it it's place and Lexa was biting her lip in anticipation._

 _Noticing the look on her girlfriend's face Clarke leaned over and whispered in Lexa's ear. "Best study session ever but that's my job."_

 _Lexa was about to ask what Clarke's job was but she didn't get the chance as she felt the other woman's teeth pull at her bottom lip. Pulling it back gently before leaning back in for a long kiss._

 **XOXO**

Hours later Clarke sat on the beach, watching her friends run in and out of the water as the fire they made continued to burn. Raven, Anya, Octavia and even Lexa had decided that they were going to celebrate Anya's 30th birthday the right way. By acting like they were teenagers again. At some point they decided that the beach was always the best go to option but the boys had fallen asleep and Costia excused herself because she had to work in the morning. So the five girls ended up back at Lexa's, grabbed a couple bottles of wine, some red solo cups and headed for the beach.

Clarke was incredibly tired which was why she was the only one sitting by the fire, trying to stay awake, to keep an eye on her friends. Without a word Lexa sat down next to her, not close enough that they were in each other's bubble but close enough to feel the other's presence.

"You're leaving aren't you? You're going back to New York?" Lexa asked after a few minutes of silence. She had been watching Clarke ever since the woman had stepped out the back doors of Anya's house and she could tell some thing was going on inside the blonde's head that she wasn't saying.

Clarke looked at her questioningly before taking deep breath. "How did you know that? And it's not in stone yet but it is a possibility. One of the top general surgeons in the world, yes I said world, not country is going to be starting work in New York and they're trying to recruit me to be his second."

Lexa's throat got really dry and she wasn't sure as to why she suddenly couldn't find the words to speak. "I don't really know what I'm going to do but it doesn't really feel like home here anymore. I wanted it to, but it doesn't. Then I look at them, and my mom and it makes everything harder."

"Do you have long to make the decision?"

"Yes and no, they want an answer sooner rather than later but I was advised to not wait to long."

Lexa nodded. "Whatever you choose, they will all support you but you have to do what's best for you, not what's best for everyone else. It's not their lives."

Clarke hugged her knees. "Thank you, that means a lot."

"Of course."

Before either could say anything more Anya ran over to them like a child running to her parents are park, a huge grin on her face. "Can we go back to your house and watch Harry Potter on the projector outside?"

Lexa let out a loud laugh. "Yeah, we can do that. Who all is coming?" Raven and Octavia threw their hands in the air. "We really have regressed." She joked as she put her hand out to help Clarke up.

Clarke hesitated and Lexa was going to bring her hand back but at the last moment she felt Clarke's hand in hers. "You're more than welcome."

"Damn right she is, she doesn't have a choice in the matter." Anya slurred as she stood in between her two friends, wrapping an arm around each other them. "I can't believe I'm getting married before you two. You guys were the perfect couple but Gus and I are like way more attractiver."

Both women looked at their friend. "It scares me that you protect this city."

Anya laughed. "It scares me that you practically run this city when you have been known to make some pretty poor choices."

The stern tone in Anya's voice made Clarke laugh without meaning too earning her a look from Lexa.

"Sorry, just the way she said it."

"Yeah Commander, Clarke Kent thinks I'm funny because she's the best and you done fucked up when you let her go. You know Clarke if I was into the ladies, I totally would have put a ring on it and not thrown it into the ocean!"

"I love you too Anya." She grinned as she held onto her friend's side.

 **XOXO**

Around lunchtime Costia walked into the Callaway residence to the loud noises of a television. Rounding the corner she stopped as she saw her fiancé and friends lounging around the living room, still in their pajama's eating pancakes and watching Bones.

"Hi." Lexa greeted her from where she sat on one end of the couch, opposite Clarke.

"Hi, having fun?" She asked as she leaned over and kissed Lexa without caring who was in the room.

"Indeed we are."

"Take it you couldn't find anything better to watch while you eat? I'm sorry everyone Lexa likes to watch gross things while consuming food."

They all let chuckled slightly, their attention still focused on the television. "It's okay Costia, we're used to it." Raven finally answered.

"Yeah Clarke does this all the time at home so I'm numb to it at this point too." Octavia chirped in as she stood up. "I'm getting more pancakes, who wants?"

Lexa picked up her plate and held it out for Octavia to take. "Clarke made her famous pancakes, you should have some before they're gone."

"Since when do you like that pancakes?" Costia asked, trying to maintain the smile that was on her face.

"I love pancakes, I'm just choosey with which ones."

"Got it. Well I just stopped in to see how you were doing. I should get back to the office."

Lexa nodded. "You sure you don't want anything to eat?"

"I'm sure, I'll see you later for dinner?" She asked as she leaned forward and kissed her fiancé just in time as Octavia came back into the room and handed Lexa her third helping of pancakes.

"I will meet you there for eight. Have a good day."

"You too. Bye everyone." They all offered her somewhat weak goodbyes as they got back into the show.

 **TBC…**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Los Angeles - 6 Months Later

Clarke rushed through the airport, thankful that she had decided to only bring a carry on with her. She looked down at her watch and tried to take a deep breath. Her flight had been delayed so she had got onto the next possible flight because there was no way she was going to miss this wedding.

An hour later she thanked the cab driver and made her way inside the building. A smile finally taking over her features as she found Raven in the crowd. "You made it!"

"Yeah, barely. I swear I need my own private jet because I have the worst luck with flight times." Clarke sank down into her seat and let her shoulders relax.

"Only you could look that hot having traveled all day."

"Hot is right! It's getting cold at home now."

"And you want me to come visit. Ha. Really not selling it."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Fine, I see how it is. Just remember you can't be mad at me for replacing you if you aren't around."

"Octavia is cool and all but she's not rocket scientist. I'm awesome and cannot be replaced. Speaking of, where is that little Yankee Doodle?"

Clarke laughed. "She couldn't make it out, with her just getting back she couldn't take the time off."

Before Raven could ask her any more questions music started to play causing everyone's attention to turn towards the doors. Once the doors opened Clarke's jaw nearly hit the floor and she had to swallow the lump in her throat twice. Her heart started to beat a little too fast and it took her a moment to calm it down as Lexa walked down the aisle.

 **XOXO**

 _Laguna Beach – Six and a half months ago_

" _Hi champ." Mr. Callaway smiled at her as she walked into the Callaway's backyard._

" _Hey." She smiled as she gave him a hug. "You better be taking it easy!"_

 _Elizabeth laughed as she handed Clarke a glass of sangria. "What brings you by? Not that we mind having you over but I have a feeling it's bad news."_

 _Clarke nodded with a sad smile. "Bad but good all in one."_

"You're leaving again aren't you?" Again Clarke nodded. "I told you Lizzie, New York has corrupted her."

" _Don't mind him, you know he just misses you."_

" _Well now whose gonna take care of my good lookin' behind when my heart starts acting up."_

 _Clarke laughed with the shake of her head. "My mom will take great care of you. She is the expert."_

" _What's taking you away from us so soon? Have you not been telling me about a secret someone."_

" _No, definitely not you know the other thing that can take me away from this place and ya'll is work. I have an amazing opportunity to study under an amazing doctor and I'd be a fool not to take it, mom surprisingly agreed with me so that should tell you how big a deal this is."_

" _That's amazing sweetheart, though we're sad to see you go, it's far too good having you home."_

" _Yeah I guess, if your mom thinks it's a good idea I'll support it." Jeff finally gave in with a smile on his face. "Just remember what I told you, no matter where in this world you live you are our second daughter and if you need anything at all, you call."_

" _Yes pops."_

" _Good." He nodded affirmatively as Clarke and Elizabeth shared a look without him noticing._

 **XOXO**

"Hey you." Lexa grinned as Clarke walked up to her at the reception.

"Hi." She smiled back as they stood in line for the bar. "How were pictures?"

"Not great," Clarke's face changed to slight concern, "cause we both know how much the camera loves me, and I felt bad because today is about Anya."

Rolling her eyes the blonde ordered her drink and then looked at Lexa who nodded before Clarke ordered her drink as well. "Was I right?"

Lexa nodded. "I love whiskey bar limes but I have to admit I haven't had one in forever! I drink a lot of wine now a days."

Clarke laughed as she felt a familiar hand on her back and smiled when she saw her best friend who took her drink out of her hand. "Thanks boo." Raven grinned as Clarke looked over at the bartender and ordered another round.

"For the record I drink my fair share of wine too, but tonight I think we all can let loose. Anya wouldn't have it any other way. I also have strict instructions from Octavia that I either come home with make out stories or she's locking my doors."

"You don't even live together anymore." Lexa looked at Raven questioningly, she really had no idea what was going on in Clarke's life and to be honest she wasn't sure she had known her at all over the past four and a half years.

"She still has a key!"

"You aren't roommates anymore?"

Clarke laughed with the shake of her head. "No, we haven't been for awhile. Her and Lincoln got a place together and I'm pretty sure they'll be the next ones walking down the aisle. After you of course." Clarke wiggled her eyebrows as Raven looked at Lexa with her own questioning look. "Speaking of, when are you taking your walk?"

"Yeah Lex, have you two finally set a date?"

Lexa took a long sip of her drink and was saved by the bell, literally. "Sorry ladies, we're going to get this show on the road and thank god because I am starving."

"Thanks Nyks." Lexa smiled as she finished her drinks. "I'll see you both in there and good luck with the making out stories."

 **XOXO**

"Now everyone get your asses on the dance floor because I'm ready to do what I'm the best at and since there are no rockets up in here, I'll let my spinning take you out of this world. Yes Clarke, that means you better get on the floor right now!"

Clarke rolled her eyes from where she sat at her table with her childhood friends. "I'm going to kill her, and she wonders why I continually put 3000 miles between us."

"She just misses you." Echo grinned trying to hold back her laugh. "Seriously, we all do. We didn't get you long enough."

"So get yourselves up to New York and we'll show you how NYC does it."

Monty, usually quiet and usually on Clarke's side starts laughing. "No offense Clarke but the inside of a hospital doesn't really appeal to me."

"I go out, thank you very much!"

"Prove it." Echo quips as she stands up and puts her hand out.

Clarke raises an eyebrow at her. "Are you and Raven cohorts?"

"You'll never know, now move that pale behind." With a roll of her eyes Clarke took a hold of Echo's hand as she was led to the dance floor.

"Single guys and ladies, Clarke Griffin is now on the dance floor." As soon as she heard Raven's voice she turned towards her friend and flipped her off without anyone noticing except Raven.

 **XOXO**

An hour later Clarke shook her head with a laugh as she finally left the dance floor. Walking to the bar she ordered herself a classic Manhattan and stepped outside for some air. As much as she loved her friends she had had a long day of traveling after finishing a long night shift at the hospital.

Thankfully when she stepped outside on the back deck of the building no one else was around. She leaned against the railing that sat just in front of the small waterfall. Admittedly the venue was stellar and Clarke would have to remember it for if she ever got married. Then again it really wasn't her style but it was still a place to remember.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the door open and close behind her. "Hi there, I'm Lexa is this space taken?" She pointed to the spot directly next to Clarke.

Clarke snapped out of her gaze and turned her head to see Lexa smiling at her. "If we're being scientific then yes technically it is."

"Damn, I really wanted to stand next to the only truly pretty girl out here."

Clarke rolled her eyes even though she had a smile on her face. "I'm pretty sure that's Anya, because hello have you seen that dress?"

"Yes actually, I helped pick it out because I am awesome and have phenomenal taste."

"You're flirty tonight."

Lexa suddenly became hyper aware of the way she was acting. "Sorry, I'm a little drunk. We sort of started early and have been keeping a steady pace all day."

"You're fine," Clarke caught herself as she looked away from Lexa, "it's fine," she quickly covered as she tipped her head back and finished her drink.

Lexa couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as she looked at Clarke for a moment longer before averting her attention to the water. "Did you want to be alone? I just came out to get some air myself but I don't want to interrupt."

"You can stay, I came out here to cool off and have a minute. I love everyone and miss everyone but I have had a crazy long day and to me it is currently," she looked down at her watch, "about 1 in the morning and I worked all night."

"When are you headed back?"

"In about six hours."

Lexa looked a little shocked. "You can sleep if you want and take the jet back tomorrow?"

"I couldn't do that but thank you for the offer. I'll sleep on the plane, or when I'm dead."

"Anytime, might as well use the darn thing, I haven't been to New York in forever."

"Now that is a crime! You should bring Costia, I'm sure she'd love it."

Lexa laughed as she stood straight up. "I'm going to head back inside and make some more rounds before I'm too inebriated to walk, talk or just function in general."

"I'll come with you, it's getting a little breezy." Lexa smiled and held her arm out for Clarke to take.

 **XOXO**

Raven being Raven, noticed Clarke and Lexa walk back in together arm in arm and instantly started to change the tempo of music she was playing. "All right all you love birds, I'm going to slow it down for a couple of minutes so grab someone, hold 'em close and keep dancing."

Clarke gave Lexa a thankful nod as someone came up to talk to the brunette. Clarke saw it as a good opportunity to head back to the bar and then finish the cheesecake that she saw waiting for her at her table.

"Hi, sorry I'm going to steal her for a quick minute Mr. Wallace."

"The bride gets whatever she wants and you look beautiful my dear, you both do." With a quick hug the older gentlemen walked away, leaving Lexa trapped in Anya's web.

"What is it? You can't seriously need to pee again, you went like five minutes ago and that dress is heavy! Recruit someone else to lift it."

Anya gave her friend a pointed look. "One, it's my day and you agreed to be my bitch. Two go and ask her to dance! She's sitting there all by herself."

"No I agreed to be your bridesmaid and I'm pretty sure if I disturbed her while she ate her cheesecake, you would no longer have a bridesmaid."

"Maid of honour, so I suppose bitch of honour, I like it. Go, now or I will ask her for you and that will be really awkward."

Lexa couldn't roll her eyes any harder as Anya let go of her arm and walked away without giving her a chance to rebut anything she had just been told. She was about to walk over to Clarke but instead her feet led her to the bar where she ordered two drinks. Downing the first and giving herself a little more liquid courage she started her trek over to where the blonde was finishing her cheesecake.

"For you." Lexa grinned cheesily as she set the drink down in front of Clarke who was just finishing her cake.

"Thank you, I needed this. Are you reading my mind again?"

"Maybe I am but you'll never know." They both laughed awkwardly. "I feel as though Raven has been playing music all night to try and get us to dance together."

"You picked up on that too?" Clarke shook her head as they both looked over at their friend who was pretending like she wasn't looking at them.

"I did so what do you say we give them what they want. Care to dance with an old friend?"

Clarke looked around, unsure if she should accept or not. "Are you sure it's okay? You're fiancé isn't exactly my biggest fan."

"I'm positive, and it's just a harmless dance although my dance skills have been known to get me lucky a few times."

"You really don't pull arrogant off the same way you used too."

Lexa faked being sad. "Ugh, I really need to work on that some more."

"Please don't." They both laughed as Clarke reached her hand out so that Lexa could help her up. "We'll tell Anya it was her wedding present."

"Deal." Lexa led Clarke over to the dance floor and behind some of the crowd in hopes that they wouldn't draw too much attention to themselves.

It took them a moment to get over the awkwardness of being so close but Clarke eventually wrapped one arm around Lexa's neck and held her other out for Lexa to take. She felt the brunette's other hand rest lightly on her lower back. As soon as they were together the song changed again causing them too look at one another with a knowing smile.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the room." It slipped out as the two exes were almost cheek-to-cheek. "I'm sorry, it slipped." Lexa pulled away slightly but Clarke's grip didn't let go.

"I was going to say that about you."

"How does it feel baby, wanna know how does it feel." Lexa hummed softly along with the music and Clarke felt the woman relax a little.

It all felt a little too comfortable, a little too real even though in the moment it seemed like they were living out a fairy tale. Clarke had to remind herself who she was dancing with and let her anger bubble up to the surface again, just enough to keep her head in check because she could have gotten lost in that dance.

"You really shouldn't sing, stick to dancing."

"Won't you come closer baby, mmm now you already got me where you want me baby." She sang a little more with a smile and a slight laugh.

"Girl it's all on you, have it your way and if you want you can decide." Clarke sang back in tune with the music too prove her point.

Lexa twirled her around before pulling her back in. "Point proven, you win."

"Saying that must taste like vinegar."

"It does, but good thing I like it." Lexa countered smoothly as the song started to come to an end. "Thank you for the dance Miss Griffin."

"My pleasure Miss Callaway."

With that they broke apart and went in separate directions, both of them needed a minute to remind themselves once again of what world they were really living in.

 **XOXO**

Exactly five hours and forty-five minutes later Clarke was standing in line waiting to board her flight. The rest of the night had gone by smoothly and was far more fun than she had expected the night to be.

She smiled at the flight attendant as she stepped up to the podium and handed the woman her ticket.

"Clarke! Clarke! Clarke wait!" It took her a minute but she finally turned around after hearing her name. She searched the crowd before her eyes narrowed in on the arm waving in the arm and a woman running towards her.

"I'm sorry, one minute." She stepped aside and waited. "Are you okay?" She asked with slight concern as the woman knelt over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath.

"Yes, I'm okay. You forgot this." Clarke looked down at the phone in the woman's hand.

"Oh shit. Thank you so much because apparently you're out of shape Commander."

Lexa straightened up, suddenly catching her breath. "I'm in great shape thank you. Let's see you run around an airport at full speed for a half an hour when you're drunk. Besides I just saved your ass Griffin."

"That you did, losing this would have been a huge headache that I don't have time for."

"I'm sorry to interrupt Miss but we're about to finish boarding." Clarke nodded politely at the flight attendant.

"Take it that's your cue to leave."

Clarke finally took her phone out of Lexa's hands and slipped it into her carry on. "I suppose it is. Thank you for the dance tonight."

"Anytime, did you ever get your make out story for O?"

"Sadly no, I don't have the game I used too, probably because I mostly talk to people when they're unconscious."

"Might have something to do with it but you better get going because little miss over there is not looking to pleased. Have a safe flight."

"Thanks, it was nice to see you and good luck with the wedding planning, I'm sure it'll all come together eventually."

Something about the way the words came out of Clarke's mouth stung and Lexa wasn't quite sure why. "Thank you." She smiled and she hoped that Clarke hadn't picked up on the slight change in her tone.

"Feel free to call me the next time you venture out my way. Goodnight Commander."

"Goodnight pretty girl." Lexa said to no one as she watched Clarke walk down the path to her plane.

 **XOXO**

"What do you mean you didn't tell her? Are you really that dense? Don't respond to that because I already know the answer." Lexa, Raven and Anya were all sitting at the restaurant the following morning having brunch before they drove Anya and Gustus to the airport.

"I didn't tell her, I brought her her phone and that was it."

"You say that like you didn't have all night to tell her." Raven added to Anya's statement.

"It wasn't the right time, it was your wedding."

Anya shook her head. "That makes it the perfect time to tell her! God only knows when you're going to see her again and it isn't exactly something you can tell her over an email."

"One day, now can I finish my brunch in piece because this hangover is bad enough. I don't need you two making it worse."

 **XOXO**

 _Laguna Beach – 5 Months Ago_

" _Can I ask you something?" Lexa smiled as she sat down on the couch next to Costia._

" _Of course. Should I be worried?"_

 _Lexa shook her head no as Costia turned to face her. "How on earth did you agree to go out with my after Greece?"_

 _She watched as the look of confusion washed over Costia's features. "What are you mean?"_

" _I couldn't have been that good the first time we hooked up considering I was so drunk I didn't remember it. That alone should have had you running of the hills."_

 _Costia let out a laugh and it caught Lexa off guard. "You think the first time we hooked up was that night in Greece?" Lexa nodded. "Oh honey, no. We were both way to drunk, I'm surprised we found our way back to our room. Have you thought this whole time that that was our first time?"_

 _Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat, unsure of what was happening. "Yeah, I mean I woke up naked in bed with you, also naked."_

" _I knew you didn't remember the night but I never knew you thought we had sex that night. We were naked because we decided to run into the water. You're so cute."_

" _All this time, I thought we hooked up that night and I felt so guilty."_

 _Costia shook her head and pecked Lexa's lips quickly. "No need to feel guilty, you didn't forget any major details. Should have asked me years ago, probably would have solved that."_

" _I would have except I felt too bad."_

" _Well it's all taken care of now. Remember we have reservations tonight for a taste testing and we need to go through the video footage for that montage."_

" _The reservations are already in my phone and as for the montage, watch away. I'm sure mom would love to help with that and she's the one who knows where all the old videos are."_

" _Okay, see you tonight." Lexa smiled and leaned over to kiss the top of Costia's head before she made her way out to her car._

 _Once inside she started it and dialed her best friends number. "I didn't sleep with Costia that night."_

" _What?" Anya asked confused on the other end of the line._

" _That night in Greece, the night I threw my phone into the sea and gave up on any future I may have had with Clarke."_

" _Again you are the world's biggest idiot. I swear I do not understand how someone so smart can be so dumb at the same time."_

 **TBC…**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

New York – 1 Month Later

Clarke laughed as she walked towards the nurse's station with Maya. "What's been going on in there? I swear that meeting has been going on since 7 am." Clarke nodded towards the closed conference room door.

"The fact that you have been here for that long signifies you also need a life and the fact that this is your form of entertainment." Maya joked.

"Yeah Clarke, go the hell home." Fox, the nurse that was sitting behind the computer laughed with Maya as Clarke set her charts on the desk.

"No, I want to know what's going on and I've been going out more than enough lately."

Both her friends shook their heads as Monroe, another doctor walked over to them. "Why are we staring at a door?"

"The counsel has been in there for way too long and I want to know why."

Monroe rolled her eyes as she handed Fox her charts. "Something to do with a new partner for the hospital. Nothing really big, they're just discussing money and all that boring business crap. Now can we please get out of here and go get those drinks we have been talking about all week because I am hella thirsty."

Clarke nodded, still looking at the door. "Yeah I just need to check on one last patient, meet you all downstairs in twenty?"

 **XOXO**

"Hey, sorry sorry. Don't kill me! The kid wouldn't let me leave, she kept asking me questions about her procedure and I felt bad not answering them." Clarke apologized as she walked up to her friends that were waiting in the lobby for her. "What are we all looking at?" She questioned when no one acknowledged her presence.

"Shh. We're checking out the hottest woman on the entire planet."

"Galaxy actually and I'm straighter than an arrow." Fox corrected Monroe as Clarke tried to follow their line of vision.

"I'm confused seriously who are we gawking at?" She watched as Monroe pointed across the room where a group of suits were standing in a small circle talking.

"Lexa Callaway. Hottest CEO there ever was." Fox grinned as the woman finally turned around giving Clarke a clear view of exactly whom her friends were talking about.

It took her a minute to get her voice back as she watched the woman from across the room, her friends now staring at her. "See I told you she was hot." Their eyes connected across the room and Clarke saw her turn her head back towards the group of men she was speaking too.

"She's engaged, possibly married by now." Clarke finally snapped out of it and looked at her friends.

"Nope, her and that lawyer chick she was dating broke up like three months ago. Where have you been?"

Clarke snapped her head towards Fox. "What? No way." Fox and Monroe both nodded.

"Holy shit, she's coming over here! Why is she coming over here?" Monroe started to hyperventilate and it made Clarke laugh more than it probably should have.

Fox's eyes widened as the CEO stood in front of them and smile before turning her attention towards Clarke, a large grin on her face. "Griffin." She spoke finally and Clarke was pretty certain that Monroe almost fell over but the use of Clarke's last name made both their eyes bulge out of their heads.

"Commander."

"Seriously? That's what you lead with?"

Clarke shrugged. "You led with Griffin."

"It's your name." Lexa justified.

Clarke rolled her eyes in her typical fashion. "Yeah and Commander is yours."

Lexa shook her head before turning towards Clarke's friends. "Hi, I'm Lexa."

She extended her hand to each of them and it took them a moment to accept it. "They think you're hot."

"I am." She grinned the most arrogant way she could before her and Clarke both started laughing.

"What brings you back to New York Commander hottie?

"Melting people's hearts." She winked at Fox who nearly fell over.

"Business as usual."

Monroe finally snapped out of her star struck daze and smiled at Lexa. "You sound just like this one, you should come out with us, we're going to a small bar not too far from here. The food is good and the alcohol is cold."

"I'm sure Lexa is far too busy to stroll around New York with a bunch of doctors." Fox cleared her throat. "And nurse."

"Actually my meeting is officially over and my flight isn't until late tomorrow morning and I'm starving. You know we were in that damn meeting since 7 am? They did not feed me sufficiently. I even offered to pay but no luck."

"If you want, I guess you're welcome to come."

Lexa nodded. "I do, I mean if there's good food." Monroe nodded with a smile and that was all Lexa needed. "Let me go and excuse myself and I'll be right back."

They all watched as Lexa walked around before Fox and Monroe turned towards Clarke. "You know Lexa fucking Callaway!"

Clarke shrugged. "Yeah, we went to high school and university together. I'm surprised you two know who she is."

"She's popular amongst the lesbian community, you need to live outside your bubble a little more." Fox explained as a matter of face.

"That doesn't explain how you know her."

Fox laughed. "True, but lesbian," she pointed at Monroe, "lesbians best friend," she pointed to herself.

"Okay, fair."

Monroe was giving Clarke a look that she couldn't quite place but she didn't get the chance to ask about it because Lexa walked back towards them. "We'll talk later." Monroe told her causing Clarke to shake her head.

"Shall we? Before I fall asleep."

"Yeah like you do that." Lexa joked before holding the door open for the three women.

 **XOXO**

They walked to the bar, which was only a few blocks from the hospital. It was a smaller place but the vibe was perfect and Lexa understood exactly why Clarke seemed to like it. The bartender knew her name and they seemed to be quite friendly. The place was pretty busy but they managed to get a small booth.

"Well Monroe what's good here?"

Monroe smiled at Lexa's comment as she passed her a menu. "I'm a big fan of the cardiac burger and it has nothing to do with the fact that I am that is my specialty."

"Burgers?" Clarke quipped receiving a quick kick under the table.

"No hearts." She winked in Lexa's direction. "Why were you friends with this clown? Assuming you were friends."

Lexa laughed as she set the menu down on the table. "With that I'm going to go and get us some drinks, I'll be back, don't talk too much shit about me while I'm gone." Clarke slid out from the booth where she had been sitting next to Lexa and walked over to the bar.

"Anyways…"Monroe trailed off as they watched Clarke walk away.

"Our parents are really good friends, so we grew up together."

Fox and Monroe both nodded in understanding as Clarke walked back over to their booth, drinks in hand. "That was quick." Fox grinned.

"Shut up." Clarke pushed a drink at Fox as she slid back into the booth and handed Lexa her drink.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, and get the slider and wings."

Monroe and Fox looked at each other, both having the same thought.

 **XOXO**

"You were right these sliders are amazing!" Lexa finished the last of her food and sat back satisfied.

Clarke smiled triumphantly as she started softly singing a long to the song that was playing. "Do you remember the day, that sunny day that you first came my way." She waited a minute, taking a sip of her drink. "Love is good, love can be strong we gotta get right back to where we started from." She sang to Fox, her head bopping with the beat of the music. "Don't judge me, I'm delirious from lack of sleep."

"Let's dance it out then." Fox suggested and Clarke's eyes widened in excitement.

She stood up and put her hand out to her friend as they made their way to the dance floor where they bounced around laughing. For her part Lexa couldn't take her eyes off the blonde. It was nice to see her in her natural element. There was something different about her but she couldn't quite figure it out and then it dawned on her. Clarke loved her life in New York, it fit her who she was now as opposed to Laguna fitting her when she was younger.

Looking back at the blonde after finishing her drink she saw her motioning for her to come over. "What do you say Monroe? Should we show them how it's done?"

"Absolutely! I can't believe Lexa Callaway just asked me that." She shook her head in disbelief as she followed Lexa to the dance floor.

"Baby, I got sick this morning, the sea was storming inside of me and baby I think I'm capsizing, the waves are rising and rising." Lexa sang along once she was standing next to Clarke. A minute later they were all singing along to the music as the two exes moved together while keeping a safe distance.

An hour and several drinks later Fox and Monroe walked back to the booth as the song changed once again. This time Clarke and Lexa couldn't help but to look at each other the minute they both realized what song was playing. They couldn't help the way they moved to the music, if you asked them both they'd tell you the same thing, that was reflex.

Clarke watched as a decent looking guy came up behind Lexa and tried to start dancing with her. Immediately the brunette turned around and though Clarke couldn't hear she was sure she was telling him to go to hell but he didn't seem to be listening. Without saying a word Clarke moved behind Lexa and wrapped her arm around the woman's waist pulling her closer.

Lexa was stunned by the close proximately at first but quickly relaxed as they continued dancing. She gave the guy a look and laughed once he walked away. Turning around in Clarke's arms to leaned forward and whispered a 'thank you' in her ear.

Clarke nodded with a smile and let go of her hold on her the slightly taller woman but they stayed close as the song continued to play. "If you're horny let's do it, ride it my pony." They both mouthed as they let themselves get lost in the song. Both trying to not remember all the times they had danced to the same song together in the past.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the ambiance but caution was thrown to the wind as they pulled each other closer, moving their bodies in perfect rhythm. There may have even been a little grinding but they'd never admit it. In that moment they were no longer exes, they were two people enjoying the moment with someone who might as well have been a complete stranger. They were having fun and it felt good, especially after a long day of work.

By the time the song ended, they were both somewhat out of breath. "I'll be back." Lexa smiled as she walked towards the ladies room, leaving Clarke alone to walk back to the bar and order another round.

"How long were you two getting it on for?" Monroe asked as Clarke sat back down in the booth.

"About 7 years but it was a long time ago." Clarke finished half her drink in one gulp. "How'd you know?"

Fox and Monroe both gave her knowing looks. "The chemistry between you too is obvious. We had a feeling the minute she walked over to us at the hospital. I have never seen anyone look at another individual the way she looks at you." Fox added for good measure.

"It's not like that anymore, we had a really bad break up, we just sort of mended the fences a couple months ago."

"Doesn't change the way you are around each other, it's like your magnets being pulled together. That's the best way to describe what we saw out there." Monroe pointed behind her at the dance floor.

 **XOXO**

"I think I'm going to call it a night, it's been one hell of a long day." Fox said as she started to put her coat on, even though it was warm outside.

"Me too, my body is calling for my bed." At Monroe's statement they all stood up and grabbed their belongings before going to put money down to pay for their tab.

Lexa raised her hand and shook her head. "It's on me."

"You don't have to do that Lex."

Lexa smiled. "I know but how else am I supposed to say thank you."

"It was no big deal, you don't have to thank me. He was a drunken idiot."

"Not you, them. They were nice enough to invite me out and admire my good looks."

Clarke rolled her eyes as she put the money down for her tab. "Fine, but you aren't paying for me."

"Fine." They all laughed as Lexa set the money under the empty glass that was sitting on the table.

Once they were outside they all said their goodbyes as Fox and Monroe got into the same cab, leaving Clarke and Lexa standing on alone on the sidewalk.

"Do you want me to hail a cab for you? Since you've always sucked at it."

"No, according to Siri, my hotel isn't far from here and it's a beautiful night so I think I'm going to take it all in, end my day with a walk. Thank you though."

Clarke nodded with a smile. "My place is in the opposite direction."

Lexa couldn't help but smile and she had no idea why. "In that case, goodnight Miss. Griffin."

"Goodnight Miss Callaway. Have a safe flight and please give your parents my love."

"I will. Get home safe."

They smiled at each other before they turned in opposite directions. Lexa got a block away before she felt her arm being tugged on as she was turned around. "Why didn't you tell me you and Costia?"

Lexa's heart stopped as she swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to find her voice. "How did you…"

"Monroe and Fox told me, apparently it was in some article they read."

Lexa looked down at the ground before looking back up at Clarke. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"How long ago?"

"A couple of months."

"Is that why she wasn't at Anya and Gustus' wedding?"

Lexa nodded as she fidgeted. "I didn't tell you then because the day wasn't about me, and to be honest I really didn't know what to say about it."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." Clarke said sincerely, she truly did want Lexa to be happy, no matter who it was with.

"Don't be, it wasn't a once in a lifetime kind of love and it took me far too long to realize that but thank you."

"You're okay though?" Clarke asked studied Lexa's features to try and get a read off of her.

"I am. It's weird, being single, but it's nice." She laughed, her lips curling into a small smile.

"Good, I'm glad but I better head home because surprisingly I really do need sleep. It was nice running into you."

"It was nice running into you as well and please don't be mad at Anya and Raven. I swore them to secrecy because I really did want to tell you myself."

Clarke smiled and fixed the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "I understand, I can give you Monroe's number if you want?" She winked playfully.

Lexa laughed with the shake of her head. "I don't date my exes friends but thank you. May we meet again Clarke."

"May we meet again Lexa, and you know we will."

With a quick nod and smile Lexa watched Clarke chuckle slightly before turning around and walking away, this time for real.

 **TBC…**

 _ **A/N: A short little fluffy chapter, all will start to be explained very soon.**_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 

New York – One Month Later

Clarke sat smiling at the restaurant table as she finished eating her meal. "I am not a princess thank you, it was just a nick name, and as far as where I'm from is concerned, it's not what people think." A look for her dinner partner. "It's not, not everyone from Laguna is rich and stuck up."

"Sure, if you say so." They both laughed as Clarke shook her head and asked the waiter for the bill.

"Just because you're a fancy surgeon doesn't mean I can't pay for the bill." Clarke shook her head as she conceded and let the other person take hold of the bill.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure. Shall we?" The person stood up before moving around to help pull Clarke's chair out. "I'm really sorry that we didn't have time for dessert."

"It's okay, I understand having to go to work when it's busy."

The person shook their head. "No but tonight was supposed to be about you, and you having time a night off."

Clarke laughed and held on to the other persons arm. "It's really okay, I don't like dessert that much."

"It's your favourite part of the meal!"

"We can always have dessert later." She winked as they tried to walk through the crowded restaurant. As Clarke was looking behind her she didn't hear the person she was with try and tell her to watch out as she crashed into the person in front of her as they both tried to exit through the small doorway.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. Are you okay?"

Clarke rubbed her where she had bumped heads with the stranger in front of her. "It's alright, it was partially my fault for not looking where I was going." She looked up and was shocked. "Lexa!"

"Clarke." The blonde noticed the look on Lexa's face.

"What's with the look."

Without thinking Lexa reached her hand up and gently rubbed Clarke's head. "It's a little red." They heard huffs of other people trying to leave and enter the restaurant so they slowly made their way outside.

"You're back."

"I figured I needed to step up my stalking game." Clarke laughed as she noticed Lexa look down at the fact that Clarke was holding someone's hand.

"Oh gosh, sorry. Lexa this is my boyfriend Finn, Finn this is Lexa." She smiled as he reached his head out to shake Lexa's.

At the mention of boyfriend Lexa wasn't sure what she felt but something didn't feel right. It wasn't jealous, but it was something she couldn't quite place, he also looked oddly familiar. "Nice to meet you Lexa."

"Likewise." Lexa grinned as she shook his hand back. "The bartender!" She clued in once she finally placed why he looked familiar.

He laughed as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair as he nodded. "That would be me."

"Sorry I knew you looked familiar but I couldn't remember."

"It's okay."

"I'll let you two get back to your night, it was nice to meet you Finn and it was a pleasure running into you Clarke, as always." She said politely as Finn wrapped his arm around Clarke's waist.

Finn started to shake his head. "Actually I have to get to work so this is the end of our night but you two should totally go for dessert."

"I don't need dessert." Lexa couldn't help the look she gave the blonde. "Do you all think I'm fat or something?"

Lexa and Finn both laughed. "No, but if you could you would eat your weight in ice cream."

"You're one to talk." Lexa put up both her hands in defense with a 'who me?' expression.

"I mean if you aren't busy that is. I feel bad leaving this one when she finally has a night off work."

Clarke was about to interject when she heard Lexa start to speak. "It would be my honour, if you want to that is. I was just going to go back to my hotel room."

 **XOXO**

"How long have you two been together?" Lexa asked as they sat down in the crowded patisserie.

"About a month. He asked me out two days after the last time I saw you but how are you doing with everything?"

Lexa took the opportunity to open the menu that was sitting in front of her. "I'm okay, thanks for asking. Tell me more about Finn."

Clarke shook her head. "Nope, not until you tell me about you and Costia. You went from engaged to broken up in a flash. Dating anyone new?"

"There isn't much to tell, I'm enjoying the single life." Clarke couldn't help the snort that snuck out. "What?"

"You and single don't exactly fit in the same sentence. You aren't capable of being single."

"I'll have you know I have been entirely single since Costia and I broke up."

"Really?" Clarke narrowed her eyes.

Lexa huffed as she put down her menu. "Yes really! It's really no wonder you and Anya are such good friends."

"Mhmm, if you say so."

"I do. I was in a really serious relationship for seven years, then another serious relationship for three years. I need to be single, do me… when I have time anyways."

"Seven years is a long time, what happened there?" Clarke asked with a devilish smirk.

Lexa looked up and held Clarke's eyes. "I royally fucked up, like titantic, ice berg kind of fuck up."

"Way to be. So are you going to tell me what suddenly led to your latest breakup. I mean you'll never get more of my attention then when I'm eating my cheesecake."

"I fear that that is a very long conversation, one neither of us have time for. Plus dessert is supposed to be fun."

"No, no I see how it is, you never want to tell me anything." Lexa rolled her eyes as the waiter took their order. Clarke of course went for the cheesecake and Lexa went for the banana split.

 _ **XOXO**_

 _Los Angeles – 4 Months Ago_

" _Hi Sarah is Lexa available?" Costia asked as she reached her fiancés receptionist._

" _I believe she is, you know you don't have to ask me to see her. She's in her office."_

 _Costia nodded politely as she walked towards the correct room. She softly knocked on the door before opening it. She saw Lexa on the phone but smiled when the other woman waved her in. Instead of sitting down right away she took looked at the newest painting on Lexa's wall. The office was a nice size and was very sterile for lack of a better term, with the exception of the few paintings that were on the walls._

" _This is amazing and it kind of looks like you. Did you have someone do this specially?" She took a minute and noticed how it seemed to match the other paintings. There was one of the Callaway family sailboat at sunset, one of New York, now one of Lexa standing by her surfboard at sunrise. "I thought you said you didn't have contact with the artist anymore."_

 _Lexa mentally cursed herself, she didn't think Costia was perceptive enough to notice that the artist was the same because had she not known better she never would have even thought about it. "I wasn't for a while."_

 _It took a minute but the pieces finally came together. "Clarke did all these?"_

 _Lexa nodded. "She did."_

" _How can you not see that she's still in love with you? Look at this picture Lexa."_

 _Lexa took a deep breath, not wanting to fight at the office. "I really don't want to argue about this again, she is not still in love with me. How could she be when I smashed her heart into a million tiny pieces, there's no fixing that. She can't even look me in the eyes. Regardless of any of that, I am with you and we're getting married. She didn't even know it was me when she drew this originally. It was early in the morning, I didn't see her, she didn't really see me, hence why you can't see my face. She decided to give it to me when left as a sign of mending bridges, it's nothing more than that."_

 _Costia stood coldly without saying a word, which told Lexa she was in for it later that night. "We'll talk when you get home, have a good rest of your day." She placed a light kiss on Lexa's cheek before walking out the door._

 ** _xoxo_**

 _Los Angeles – Later That Night_

 _It was ten p. the time Lexa had finally managed to get back to her condo in the city. She had tried to leave work early but one thing after another kept popping up. The company was set to expand in New York and it was taking a lot more work than anyone had anticipated._

 _With a yawn she closed her front door and slipped her high heels off. Her stomach grumbled as she headed towards her bedroom to change right into her pajama's. This day called for macaroni and cheese for dinner and a really really large glass of wine._

 _After changing she headed into the kitchen and put the pot of water on the stove before pouring herself a glass of wine and moving into the living room. It was then that she noticed Costia sitting in front of the TV looking through old videos, tears streaking down her face. "Holy shit, I am so sorry I totally forgot about our talk. I am the worst fiancé ever!" Lexa quickly sat down and wrapped her arms around the women, not paying attention to what was playing on the television._

" _It's not that. It's everything else. Every time I try and plan something for this wedding Clarke pops up. Seriously every time Lexa and I've been blaming you, I've been blaming her because I didn't want to face the truth."_

" _Hun, what on earth are you talking about, I'm sorry I'm not following."_

 _Costia looked up as she tried to get the tears to stop falling and pointed to the t.v. "You let her sit on the counter, there's a video of you sound asleep on the couch with your head in her lap. I've never seen you sleep like that and then it hit me. You used to fly to New York for a few hours so that you could sleep. You used to talk about how Clarke was your soul mate, that she was the one for you and you felt it with every fiber of your being. I also thought you were crazy, that that kind of love didn't exist. Then you both broke up and I took it as a sign. When we finally got together I hoped that it wasn't just a rebound and now years later I have a beautiful ring on my hand but I can't marry you Lexa." Lexa let her arms fall away from her fiancé._

" _What?" She shook her head still confused. "What are you saying Cos?"_

" _You and I do not have that kind of love. The way you two look at each other, you see the world in each other, I can't be the one to get in the way of that."_

" _You're not, I told you, Clarke and I are over, that ship has sailed."_

 _Costia shook her head no. "Our relationship partially started because you thought we slept together in Greece, sure we've had our fair share of fun and we had a good run but Lexa look." She pointed at the television again to see her mother, her and Clarke singing happy birthday to her father. "I never meant to keep you apart, I was just so attracted to you that I didn't want to see what was really in front of me. I'm partially to blame for your breakup. I should supported you because you were my friend but I saw you unhappy and I didn't like it. After really meeting Clarke, and seeing her, that connection is still there whether you want it to be or not. I want you to have that once in a lifetime love, I love you enough to let you go because you were never really mine."_

" _You're breaking up with me?" Lexa asked as she sat back confused, the sound of Clarke laughing coming through the television._

 _Costia nodded, not able to get the words out. "You always told me that no matter how hard you tried you and Clarke's paths always crossed. You both tried to avoid it for so long but fate always wins, love always wins. I never meant to be the bad guy, I never intended for you two to break up but I seized the opportunity when it presented itself."_

" _You were being my friend."_

" _I was, but I was also very much in love with you."_

 _Lexa finally looked at the other woman. "And now?"_

" _I'll always love you Lexa but after seeing that painting on your wall, I knew. I'm not the one for you, our friend groups don't mesh, our parents are entirely different. We come from two entirely different worlds. That painting is amazing because of how much love is in it, the way she captured you, you can feel the emotion, even without seeing your face. I believe you when you said she didn't know it was you but something always pulls you back together. It's time I let it, or at least gave it a try. I won't do that to you, and now with the business taking a biggest leap in New York, it's perfect."_

 _Costia took her ring off and placed it into Lexa's palm as she kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, I'm at a loss."_

" _That's because this is what's right. Fall in love with her all over again. You may not be her knight in shining armour right now but she's yours." Lexa shook her heads, words still unable to come out. "I know you don't want to believe but you know it's true, the one person whose opinion means more to you than anything outside of your parents is Anya. What does she say about it?" Lexa went to speak but Costia stopped her. "You don't have to tell me, just think about it. Watching you in these videos has only proved to me that we aren't on the same page, hell we aren't even in the same book. We were more like the bookends, holding each other up without ever being right next to each other."_

 _Costia stood up and grabbed her coat and for the first time since Lexa had some home, she saw the suitcase sitting by the door._

" _Wait." She called out as she finally got her feet to move. "Keep this, it belongs to you." She handed her back the ring in her hand. "For the good times."_

 _Costia sniffled as she nodded and wrapped her arms around Lexa. "Take care of yourself Lexa, and I really hope you get the girl, I'll be rooting for you."_

" _What if we never get back together?"_

" _Give me a call in ten years and let me know how it's going." Costa winked as playfully as she could through the tears._

 **XOXO**

"…and that's how it happened. She was right it was the right thing to do." Lexa continued to tell Clarke what had happened, specifically leaving out the details about her and Lexa supposedly being soulmates. Clarke sat transfixed on the story as she ate the rest of Lexa's cookie, and the ice cream on top of it.

"Are you sure you're doing okay? That's a lot."

Lexa shook her head. "It's weird if nothing else, I have to start all over again." She said in an exasperated tone that made Clarke laugh. "I mean I can't be too upset over it, she wanted our wedding song to be that Bruno Mars song."

"Uptown funk?" Clarke asked, nearly chocking on a piece of cookie.

"No," Lexa laughed, "the other one." Clarke shook her head. "Just the way you are, what kind of wedding song is that?"

"It's romantic…enough." The waiter dropped their bill off at their table and they both reached for it at the same moment. "Rock, papers, scissors." Clarke nodded affirmatively as if that was their best option.

"You cheated!" Lexa pouted as Clarke smiled triumphantly taking the bill and paying for it.

"Not my fault you suck."

Both women stood up from their seats and headed out the front door. "At least the music in there was good."

"You're company was awesome too and by you're I mean you having me at dessert, not me having you at dessert."

Lexa shook her head, slightly confused. "It's too late for you to be hurting my head. But yeah that was pretty much it, Wasn't meant to be, but that song choice should have been the ultimate red flag, I mean obviously you have to go with…"

"… My girl…" They both said in unison before they both busted out laughing. "Not Ain't no mountain high enough?"

"No, if I recall correctly that was our song."

"Not that you ever got the words right."

"Well lyric police why don't you just shoot me, sorry we're not all crazy good singers."

Clarke nodded as went to hail a cab. "Again, not my fault you suck. This one is for you, I'll get the next one."

"Actually I'm just going to go for a walk, enjoy New York at night."

Clarke studied Lexa for a moment. "Mind if I join you? I think I'm getting a sugar rush."

"Then I definitely mind, you're like a child when you're hyped up on sugar." Clarke slapped her across the arm playfully as she waved the cabbie off.

"Shut up and start walking. I want to know more about how everyone found out and how I'm always the last to know."

"Not this, time my friends. Octavia still doesn't know, at least I haven't told her and I'm guessing she doesn't because if she knew you would have known."

Clarke thought for a minute. "You're right, this time and only this one time!"

 **xoxo**

An hour later Lexa and Clarke were standing outside Lexa's hotel room. "I feel like I should be the one walking you home, because if you get mugged Finn is going to come after me and I'll have to be forced to throw down Cali style."

"You really think it's Finn you need to worry about when my best friend is a police officer with several guns and more friends with guns."

Lexa gulped. "No thanks, I'll continue to pretend to worry about Finn, that's again for dessert and the walk home."

"Thank you for telling me what happened and I really am sorry. I really do just want you to be happy with all that life has to offer you."

"The same goes for you, who knows maybe Finn is 'the one'. The Nathan to your Haley."

"No, he's not hot enough to be Nathan but seriously thank you, that means a lot coming from you."

"Just know that if her breaks your heart, I do have ways of making people disappear."

"Duly noted. Get some sleep Miss. Callaway."

"Text me when you get home please?"

"I will." They went to shake hands but Clarke tentatively wrapped her arms around Lexa and gave her a little squeeze. "You'll find someone absolutely breathtaking and mesmerizing one of these days."

"I hope your right."

"I'm always right." Clarke winked before turned around to hail a cab, leaving Lexa standing on the sidewalk in front of her hotel.

 **TBC…**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"What do you mean you haven't told her yet?" Anya groaned from her end of the phone.

"I'm not just going to spit that out, isn't it enough that I told her Costia and I broke up."

Anya rolled her eyes and even though Lexa couldn't see her it was as if she could hear it from across the country. "No it's not enough! You're such a stubborn idiot!"

"I'm pretty sure we've established that, several times over. I'll tell her, eventually."

"If you don't, I will."

"Anya, it's really not that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is! Fine, as usual don't listen to me!"

Lexa couldn't help but laugh. "I won't but I'm going to bed, it's late and I work in the morning."

She heard Anya huff. "Okay, bye, love you, even though you're an idiot."

"Love you too." She shook her head as she hung up her phone and stared at the ceiling of her hotel room.

 **XOXO**

New York – One Month Later

Lexa smiled politely at the barista as she took her morning coffee and walked over to the nearby table to add her cream and sugar.

"Back in New York for business so soon?"

Lexa nearly jumped out of her skin and the sound of the woman's voice in her ear. "Christ Octavia, way to scare a girl."

Octavia leaned against the counter and laughed as she sipped on her coffee. "How long has it been?"

"What?" Lexa questioned as she moved out of the way.

"How long has it been since you moved to New York?"

Lexa's face went flush. "I'm in town on business."

Octavia shook her head. "See this little badge here, it means I'm not entirely stupid. This is the coffee shop you used to visit when you were in town for a couple days, now seeing as though it's near my place and out of the way of the hotel that you were staying at, I'm certain that no one visiting for business has the time to trek across town to get coffee. Not even important CEO types."

"You got all that from me getting coffee? And how do you know what hotel I'm staying at?"

Octavia grinned as they both sat down on the same couch. "I'm just that good, plus a little birdie told me you secretly moved here. Which I'm pissed about because I didn't get a call asking me to go for a workout."

"Would this little birdies name be Raven? Because I swear if she tells Clarke I will kill her!"

Octavia hummed and shook her head. "I don't want to hear this! And no the little birdies name was Anya."

Lexa threw her arms up in the air. "Seriously! Why do I tell her anything, she's supposed to be my best friend."

"She also told me Costia dumped your ass."

Lexa looked around the busy coffee shop before looking back at Octavia. "Is there anything she didn't tell you and shouldn't you be, I don't know, working?"

Octavia shook her head. "Shouldn't you?"

"My meeting doesn't start for another two hours and now I'm going to need to stop by a bar because this coffee isn't strong enough. I don't miss having you ruin my mornings."

Octavia laughed as she recalled the many times she and Lexa would bother Lexa while she read the morning newspaper. "Bullshit, you love it and you love me, otherwise you would have already gotten up and left. I also heard you took Clarke Kent out for dessert, romantic."

"It wasn't romantic, I ran into her and her boyfriend."

"Finn, yeah he's alright. Better than that Keenan girl she was with for like a year."

Lexa's eyes bulged. "What?"

"Oh shit." Octavia took a long sip of her coffee. "She never told you about Keenan."

"Explain."

Octavia looked down at her watch and attempted to stand up. "Look at the time, I better be going." Lexa pulled on her arm causing her to sit back down.

"Speak."

"She was seeing this girl for like a year, they met at some art gallery, it was very romantic comedy-esque without being overly romantic. Chick broke up with her because she said Clarke cared more about her work than she did about her. So of course instead of taking a break from work she worked harder then we got on a plane and ended up in L.A."

"That's bullshit, she clearly didn't deserve Clarke then. Yes, she works hard but she's going after her dream." Octavia couldn't suppress the smile on her face as she listened to Lexa defend Clarke.

"Simmer down Luther, it was awhile ago and Clarke is well over it. Finn is cool though, but he's kind of boring."

"He seemed polite enough."

Octavia thought for a second before nodding. "He is, but as long as she's happy I'm happy. He treats her right and understands her busy schedule but I don't see them getting married. You should call her, tell her you're around, she'd like that."

Lexa shook her head. "I wouldn't even know what to say."

"Hi Clarke, it's Lexa. So you know I've recently moved to New York and was wondering if you wanted to get coffee, or food. She never says no to coffee or food."

"It's not quite that simple."

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "What is it you aren't telling me?"

"I don't want her to think that I moved here for her, not that I think that would be her first thought, I'm scared of ruining whatever relationship we've built."

"Lex, you're thinking way too hard about this. It's Clarke, she's possibly the easiest person to get a long with. Spend the time getting to know each other again, four years is a long time. You're both in good places and you could use the friends in town. I don't want you focusing solely on work because you have no other distractions."

"Thank you Octavia."

"Don't mention it, like seriously don't mention to Clarke that I knew because she'll murder me. Call me later in the week, we'll go to a class or something, I'll show you what it's like to live here." Octavia stood up with a smile as she threw her now empty coffee cup into the garbage. "Don't miss me too much while I'm gone doll face."

"You know you'll miss me more buttercup." Lexa joked as she finally stood up from her spot on the couch as Octavia waved bye over her shoulder and exited the shop.

 **XOXO**

Exactly ten hours later Clarke stood in the very same spot Lexa had earlier that day as she ordered her coffee to start her last night shift of the week. She yawned into her arm as she smiled at the barista when she saw that her name was spelled correctly.

"Thanks Jimmy."

"No problem doll, and I threw in an extra shot for ya." He winked happily as he continued to make the order. Clarke made her way to the exit and as she was leaving did a double take. She could have sworn she saw Lexa standing near the counter ordering but when she looked again the woman was gone. Shaking her head she continued to make her exit, she really was starting to think she needed more sleep now that she was getting older.

 **XOXO**

"Hey are you done off today? Because I just finished a six-hour surgery and I am starving. I need pancakes O, I need pancakes!"

Octavia laughed as she answered her phone, not even getting a hello in before Clarke went on her rampage. "No I'm not working but I'm at a class right now with," Lexa's eyes widened as she shook her head, "a friend." Octavia gave her a weird look before shaking her head.

"But I want pancakes." Clarke whined. "And who the hell would you get up for so early if you aren't working? You aren't cheating on Lincoln are you because I will disown you! I love him."

"You love him because he cooks you breakfast!"

"No, and because he cooks me dinner to take to work, which you don't do."

"Yeah well you moved out." Octavia defended. Lexa let out a laugh before covering her mouth quickly.

"Seriously who are you with?"

Octavia glared at Lexa. "No one important, but we're almost done here, eighth and Main in say twenty minutes?"

"On my way there now, invite your friend. I don't care who comes as long as I get my food."

"Okay, I'll invite her." Octavia smiled at Lexa as she hung up the phone. "Pancakes and a cheery, happy Clarke because she just saved yet another life."

Lexa shook her head. "You know I would but I have work to do and I don't feel like getting the third degree as to why I'm in New York, again."

"Fine but you're missing out on pancakes!"

"Next time." Lexa grinned as she finished changing.

"How do you go from sweaty gym clothes, hair a mess to looking like a corporate goddess?"

Lexa laughed as she finished putting her hair in a bun. "I got it from my mama."

"I can't even argue that because I love your mom."

They both laughed as they picked up their gym backs. "Same time next week?" Lexa asked one they walked outside.

"You know it buddy, I really am glad to have you here. For as long as you're staying."

"So far, I like being here. I can see why it stole her heart. I'll see you later, you know how she gets if you keep her from her pancakes." Lexa waved a goodbye as her and Octavia both put their helmets on before driving off in opposite directions.

 **XOXO**

"What took you so long?" Clarke groaned as Octavia slid into the other side of the booth.

"I told you I was in a class and traffic is a bitch even though it's Saturday."

Clarke shook her head. "Well I ordered food already because I am starving."

"Yeah I can see you're really withering away to nothing."

"Shut up ass hat. Where's your friend?"

Octavia shrugged as she ordered her food. "She had work."

"On a Saturday? What did you tell said person about me?"

"All I said was that there probably wouldn't be any food left by the time we got there because my best friend is a hungry hungry hippo. Anyways, have you heard from Lexa at all since your last run in?"

Clarke shook her head as she drank half her orange juice. "No, I told her to give me a call the next time she was in town but my phone has yet to ring. Why what have you heard?"

"Not a whole lot, was just curious. How's things with Finnick?"

"Finn." Clarke corrected with a raised eyebrow.

"Finnick sounds cooler."

"Have you been reading hunger games again?" Clarke asked, her eyes lighting up as she saw pancakes coming in her direction.

"Hell no, I've been making Lincoln watch it. Me read, you're cute Clarkey."

Clarke glared at her as she had a bite of her pancakes. "Clarkey? Really? It's like you've been hanging out with Lexa."

Octavia nearly choked on her water, thankful that Clarke was face deep in her food to notice. "I just like annoying the hell out of you."

"Anyways, back to my question, how's Finn?"

Clarke shrugged. "He's good, things are good." She answered nonchalantly.

"Wow, I really sense the fireworks going off."

Clarke shook her head. "It's not that kind of thing, I mean it's all a little intense but not like that. I don't know how to explain it but we're having fun and I like him. It's refreshing."

"But he's not the guy you're going to marry."

"It's barely been a month I can't possibly know that."

"You know that with…" Octavia realized what she was saying, thankful that her food showed up just in the nick of time.

Clarke put her fork down, finally full after stuffing half the pancakes into her mouth like the world was about to end. "That was different, and look how it turned out."

"I'm just saying, life plays all kinds of tricks on us, I just don't want you to settle. I want you to find that kind of love again, this time that lasts. I want you to find someone that loves you like they mean it but I thought we weren't mad at her anymore?"

"We aren't mad at her anymore, but that pain is still there. I want her and I to be friends, but that's it. I can't ever let me heart slide back into the web of Lexa Callaway. Trusting her as a friend is one thing, she's the worlds most amazing friend but outside of that, I can't, I won't even contemplate it."

Octavia took a bite of her food after drowning her pancakes in syrup. "You're telling me, you didn't even think about it for a second after you found out that she wasn't engaged anymore." Clarke shook her head no but Octavia could have sworn she saw a small glimmer of uncertainty.

 **XOXO**

New York City – Two Weeks Later

Clarke stepped out of her favourite café, coffee in hand at around 11 p.m. She had taken the opportunity to run out for a coffee break while the hospital was as calm as a hospital could be. She stopped as she looked up before crossing the road and nearly got run over by the person walking behind her because she stopped in the middle of the road, as she took in the sight of what seemed to be a familiar motorcycle.

Shaking her head she continued to walk as she pulled out of her phone. _I swear I'm seeing things. Things that remind me of Lexa everywhere! What did you do to my brain! Undo it now!_ She quickly sent the text to Octavia and waited for the response she knew she'd get.

 _You woke me up for that! Go bone already and get it out of your system!_ Was the response she got in return.

With the shake of her head she quickly typed out another response, if only to really piss of her best friend. _I'd rather bone you! But seriously I swear I just saw her motorcycle and I know no one has another motorcycle like hers._

She could hear the groan her best friend had made as she read the reply. _It's late, you're sleep deprived and now I'm going to be sleep deprived. If you miss her, call her Clarke._

 _I don't miss her!_ Clarke typed quickly before hitting send as she put her phone back in her work locker. For the rest of the time she could contemplate whether or not she did miss Lexa and in what capacity because there had to be some reason as to why her brain kept seeing things that reminded her of the other woman. She also kept reminding herself to kill Octavia for putting thoughts into her head.

 **xoxo**

Clarke rubbed her eyes as she changed out of her scrubs and into somewhat normal clothes. She was far too tired to care about how she looked and if someone didn't like it, well then they could go to hell on an express flight. She stretched out her back as she slipped her scarf over her head. Over all she was going for comfort, blue jeans, black blazer over her blue tank. She threw her hair up into a really messy bun before closing her locker.

It didn't take her too long to get to her coffee shop. Looking down at her watch she saw that she had made he walk in only ten minutes, maybe she wasn't really that tired after all. She laughed to herself as she let out a yawn at the exact moment she had had the thought. Then, as if her mind wasn't already dealing with enough, she stopped dead in her tracks. She was sure it was the same motorcycle she had seen the night before, it had to be. The purple decals on the rims gave it away. So instead of continuing to move the few feet into the store she stood frozen as the owner of the bike parked and slowly slid of their helmet.

She saw long brown hair fall out from under the helmet and she felt her heart stop, then speed up, a warm sensation filling in her chest and she knew. She knew exactly who owner of the beautiful bike. She wasn't sure how or when it happened in the brief moments since she had pieced it together but she was now standing directly in front of the bike.

"Lexa." It wasn't a question; it wasn't a statement, the name just sort of fell from her lips without being told to do so.

"Clarke, hi." Lexa smiled as she got off the bike, helmet in hand. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth it out from the helmet head she knew she most likely had.

"Why is Orchid here?" Lexa looked back at her bike, moving her hand up to rub the back of her neck. "

"She's here because I moved to New York a little over a month ago."

 **TBC…**


	24. Chapter 24

"You're living in New York?" Clarke asked still a little shocked.

"I am."

"Since when? Why didn't you call and tell me?" Clarke questioned.

Lexa paused for a minute, knowing she was about to get it. "Since I ran into you at the hospital." She answered sheepishly as she watched the expression change on Clarke's face, thankful that the girl was clearly too tired to really lay into her.

Then it really hit her and Clarke wanted to do nothing more than reach into her bag that was slung over her shoulder and call Octavia. "You're Octavia's 'friend'."

"I don't know what you're talking about snarky Clarkey."

The blonde's eyes narrowed as she pushed her sunglasses up to rest on the top of her head. "Why didn't you tell me? We could have gotten coffee or dinner or something."

"I didn't know how too. What was I supposed to say, hey Clarke, by the way I'm in your city?"

"It's not my city exactly."

Lexa shook her head with a smile. "You know what I meant but how about I buy coffee to make up for it and explain myself?"

"Oh you'll be buying me coffee and then dinner because it's going to take a lot longer than coffee for you to explain yourself Callaway."

Lexa nodded as they started to move towards the coffee shop. Lunging forward at the last moment Lexa opened the door for Clarke to walk through first as they made their way inside.

"Hey Clarke." Jimmy said with a smile and a wink once he noticed whom she was standing with.

"Hi Jimmy, this is Lexa. Lexa my favourite barista of all time, Jimmy."

"Hello." Lexa smiled politely.

"Our strongest blend with an extra shot of espresso, three sugar?" Jimmy said as he looked at Lexa. "But only in the morning! At night it's usually a herbal tea of some sort."

"Damn you are good."

Clarke looked over at Lexa. "How long have you been coming in here?"

"Let me pay and then you can interrogate me."

Lexa smiled as she handed Jimmy a twenty. "Keep the change, you deserve it for putting up with this one for so long."

He laughed and thanked her before moving aside to make their drinks.

Ten minutes later Clarke was grilling into Lexa. "First off, why did you move to New York? You hate New York."

Lexa shook her head. "No, I hated what New York had that I didn't and there have been talks to expand the New York side of the business for a long time now. Dad was originally the one that was going to do it, which is why he was here so often and why he had me running things from the west coast. With his health, he can't take on that kind of responsibility, or rather that stress so the board thought that it should be me. After everything that happened I decided New York would be a fresh start. California is home but it's a nice change."

"And you couldn't tell me this why?"

"I didn't want you to feel pressured or think anything."

Clarke raised her eyebrow. "What like you moved here to get me back?" She noticed the look on Lexa's face and laughed. "Sweetie the thought never crossed my mind. That ship sailed into the Bermuda triangle and is forever lost." She laughed and was happy when she saw Lexa start to relax. "I know how scary this city can be alone, when you don't really know anyone and it seems like everyone else knows the entire city."

"It really does seem that way!"

Clarke nodded as she sipped on her coffee. "Now tell me why you had the guts to tell Octavia but not me? Because if anyone would come to that conclusion it'd be her!"

Lexa leaned back in her chair. "I didn't tell her! Anya did. Which reminds me, I need to kill my best friend."

Clarke laughed and Lexa felt that weird stirring feeling in her stomach again. She didn't want to think about what it meant so for now she ignored it as best she could. "I'm starting to think you just like when I'm pissed at you."

"Definitely not! You pissed at me means I need to sleep with one eye open."

Clarke smirked as she took another sip of her coffee. "You'll be buying me dinner at your earliest convenience to keep that from happening. I want a fancy steak dinner with lobster!"

"Yes dear, I'll also make sure the dessert is on point."

"You know I've been seeing you all over the damn place and I thought it was in my head so you're damn right the dessert will be on point!"

They talked for another hour before Clarke yawned and the need for sleep took over. As they stood outside as Lexa put her riding jacket back on Clarke gave her a brief hug goodbye. "I swear my phone better ring Lexa or I will call your mother."

"I promise. Get some sleep." Clarke nodded with a smile as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder before turning on her heels. She got half way down the block before she heard her phone ring.

"Hello?" She answered unsure of who it was because the number was one she didn't recognize.

"Hi Clarke, it's Lexa. So I sort of just moved to New York and I don't really know anyone so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner, show me the ropes?"

Clarke stopped walking at the sound of Lexa's phone and shook her head with a laugh before turning around to see Lexa leaning against her bike with a cute little smile on her face. "Cute, real cute Lex. Save the charm for your future wife."

"Maybe I'm talking to her." Even from a distance Clarke saw the over the top cheesy smile on Lexa's face that she knew girls loved. "How's tonight at 8 sound?"

Clarke thought for a moment as the two exes stared at each other from down the street. "Tonight works."

"I'll text you the address of the restaurant."

"You aren't picking me up?"

Lexa laughed. "I'm not trying to get in your pants Clarke, you can walk."

"So you're working until 7:45?"

She saw Lexa look down sheepishly before looking back up. "You know me too well. I'll see you then sleeping beauty."

"Bye Lex." With that Clarke held her phone up for Lexa to see her hit the end call button before turning around and heading home.

 **XOXO**

 _Donatello's work for you?_ Clarke read the text with one eye open, a smile taking over her face.

She stretched her arms out with a yawn before she replied. _Sounds great but do I even wanna know how you got last minute reservations to one of the most popular restaurants in Brooklyn?_

 _No, you don't. See you there for 8 ;)_ She shook her head at the wink Lexa had added purposely at the end of her sentence as she tossed her phone onto the other side of her bed before realizing she needed to call and yell at Octavia.

Grabbing her phone once again she scanned her recently called list before finding the name she wanted. It rang a couple of times before she heard the click of someone answering the phone. "Hey asshole!"

"Hi Clarke."

"Sorry Lincoln is the thing you live with around? I need to yell at her."

A pause. "She is, do I even want to know what she did this time?"

"Probably not but I want you to walk up to her casually and turn the phone on speaker."

"Okay, you're good to go."

"Evening asshole!" Clarke yelled before smiling when she heard the sound of clattering dishes.

"You're dead Lincoln!"

"I think you may be dead first. Enjoy your talk, I'm going for my run." Octavia took the phone off speaker and held it to her ear.

"Morning sunshine, I take it the cat's out of the bag?"

"You could have warned me. All that shit about me thinking I was seeing Lexa, when I really was seeing Lexa! You had me thinking it was all in my head!"

Octavia leaned against her counter. "She asked me not to tell and you said we weren't mad at her anymore."

"That doesn't mean you two are allowed to gang up on me any more!"

"Whatever, I love toying with you, it's all the fun I get to have sometimes."

Clarke narrowed her eyes even though she knew Octavia couldn't see her. "Then I won't tell you how dinner goes tonight."

"Dinner? What? With who? Lexa? Bitch I swear to god!" Octavia heard her best friend laugh before the phone clicked and the end call screen came up on her phone. "Women." She huffed to herself before calling Raven.

 **XOXO**

Clarke took over an hour to get ready later that night. She slipped on one of her favourite white blouse and a pair of tight fitting dark wash jeans that hugged her curves in all the right places. She curled her hair until it fell in perfect loose waves around her shoulders. Nodding to herself in the mirror she grabbed her leather jacket off the back of her couch, slipped on a pair or red pumps and headed out.

A twenty-minute cab right later she found herself standing outside the restaurant. It was a beautiful cool night without being too cold. She looked down at her watch and realized she was a little early. She contemplated going inside figuring Lexa might be a little late, especially if she was coming from work but before she could make a move she got the feeling she normally did when Lexa was around.

"Hi." It was a short reply but it was one that knocked the breathe from Clarke's lungs as she turned around to find Lexa standing in front of her. Smile on her face in the a little blue dress with a white colour. Her hair was pinned back so that it was out of her face but hung loose down her back. "You clean up nicely."

Clarke raised her eyebrow and smile. "You look lovely too Lexa." It was a little snarky but mostly it was genuine.

"Shall we?" Clarke nodded as Lexa opened the door for her before stepping in behind her. "Two for Callaway." Lexa told the hostess as the sounds of soft jazz could be heard playing in the background.

"I love this place." Clarke mumbled to no one in particular. Lexa couldn't help but smile at her. "What?"

Lexa shook her head. "Nothing, it's just nice to see you so happy."

"You could have seen it a lot sooner had you not been so stubborn."

"Ah yes, the real reason for this dinner."

Clarke nodded as the hostess led them to their table. "Would you like a bottle of wine to start?" The two shared a look before Lexa moved her hand, a sign Clarke knew to mean that she could order whatever she wanted. She smiled an ordered a bottle of pinot noir, knowing that both her and Lexa liked that type of wine.

 **XOXO**

"I didn't steal you away from Finn tonight did I?"

Clarke shook her head 'no' as she sipped on her second glass of wine. "He's working tonight, we don't have plans until tomorrow."

"Things are going well then?" Lexa asked, finishing her dinner and pushing the plate away from herself.

"Yeah, it's still light and easy so things are okay. How's the non dating going?"

Lexa laughed. "Pretty well actually. I don't have too much free time outside of work. It's mostly work and sleep and occasionally Octavia and I will go to a work out class of some sort."

"Ah that explains why I haven't been getting pestered to go to the gym. Thank you for that. You liking the city so far?"

"I have been here before you know?"

Clarke nodded. "I remember but it's different when you live here."

"It is, but it's been a nice change though it is getting a little cold for my blood."

"I'm sorry for interrupting ladies but my wife and I were just wondering how long you've been together? We sort of had a bet going." The older gentleman excused himself, nearly making Clarke choke on her wine.

Lexa smiled politely. "You're both very sweet…"

"We've been together for about 7 years?" Clarke interrupted before Lexa could finish her sentence.

"See Anthony, I told you it wasn't just young love. Are you planning on getting married?"

Lexa nodded, deciding to play along. "Someday, when the time is right." She looked over at Clarke, their eyes locking for brief moments before looking back at the elderly couple in front of them.

 **XOXO**

"I can't believe you told them that." Lexa laughed as she and Clarke walked out of the restaurant arm in arm laughing.

"I couldn't disappoint them. Did you see how excited they were? Gosh I hope that when I'm that age I'm still that in love with someone."

"With someone, or work?"

Clarke frowned slightly as they started aimless walking, Clarke finally letting go of Lexa's arm. "Someone, smart ass."

"Are you implying Finn isn't the one?"

Clarke laughed and looked up at the sky. "I don't think so, I don't get that feeling with him."

"You make a cute couple though, what's the problem?"

Clarke shrugged. "It just lacks that spark, you know. Especially in the bedroom."

"Oh?" Lexa looked over at the blonde with an excited expression.

"He's just, how to do I put…" Clarke trailed off trying to find the right words to say. "He sucks in bed, and not in the good way. In the very very bad kind of way."

"Tell me you have not been faking it!" Lexa asked, her eyes bright under the shine of city lights. The expression on Clarke's face said it all. "No way."

Clarke nodded with a shake of her head and a laugh. "He tries, he just isn't good at it and I don't have the heart to tell him."

"You have to tell him, help a guy out. He probably has no idea, which is saying something because your fake orgasms are terrible."

"How would you know?" Lexa raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I can honestly say I never faked it with you, thank you."

It was Lexa's turn to shake her head. "Except that time we faked it to piss of Octavia."

Clarke's eyes lit up in remembrance. "I completely forgot about that! That was a fun night."

"Don't feel too bad though, sometimes you just don't mesh with someone sexually even if you have an emotionally bond."

Clarke studied Lexa's features. "No, you and Costia weren't having fun between the sheets?"

"I didn't even remember the first time we did, until I found out that it was because it didn't happen." The words came out without Lexa thinking about it, she also said too much when Clarke was around because it was all too easy.

"Wait, I thought the first time you two were together was when you were in Europe?"

Lexa took a breath as she stopped walking. "I did too but I was also blackout drunk. Turns out I put the wrong pieces together."

"I called you, you know? Like a million times while you were gone." Clarke started walking again.

"I didn't know, I sort of threw my phone into the sea. Yep, got so drunk and threw it right into a large body of water. I wanted to call you when I got home, but I couldn't face you after that. I'm sorry, for being such an asshole."

"It was a long time ago." Lexa nodded, sensing the tone in Clarke's voice change.

"Ice cream?" Lexa asked once she saw the ice cream truck.

The smile reappeared on Clarke's face. "Do you know how much food we just ate and you're asking me if I want ice cream?" Lexa nodded and smiled once she saw the smile on Clarke's face get bigger. "Of course I want ice cream, but only a small one."

"Swirl?" Clarke nodded as Lexa walked up to the window.

A minute later she strode back over to the blonde and handed her the small cone as she started to eat the one in her own hand. "Thank you. Shall we continue walking?"

"I'd like that."

 **xoxo**

A half an hour later they found themselves sitting on a park bench looking out at the park lights. The sound of street performers could be heard in the distance. "You did not defend me too her?"

"Oh I did, never a good idea to defend your ex to your current."

"Yeah, no wonder she dumped your ass."

Lexa laughed. "It's fine, it wasn't meant to be. I just didn't know how to end it myself. We kind of got engaged by accident."

"But you said you had been thinking about it, thinking about it enough to buy a ring."

"Yeah but looking back at it, it was never a good idea. It was what I thought I wanted because it was easy but there wasn't any of that spark you were talking about. We were too much like friends."

Clarke shivered slightly. "I know what you mean."

"Speaking of exes, how come you never told me about Keenan." Lexa watched as Clarke flinched slightly at the sound of her name. "Please don't kill Octavia she didn't mean to tell me, it sort of just came out."

"That's a long story but I was very much in love with her. She was a great girl but she didn't understand me. The things she said to me hurt really bad, so it's sort of a sore subject."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine Lex. It too was a long time ago and I learned a lot from it but I'm never going to let anyone dictate my life. I was working so hard to fulfill my dream and looking back on it, it was a great decision. She gave me an ultimatum, work or her. I chose work."

"I'm proud of you, have I told you that?"

Clarke nodded as she shivered once again. "Once or twice." She sniffled a little without intending too.

"Good, sounds like someone is getting sick. We should get you home."

"No, it's my night off, I want to enjoy it."

"That's your sick sniffle Clarke."

Clarke gave Lexa a look as she stood up. "Bitch you don't know me!" She used her best attitude voice as Lexa stood up next to her.

"Who's the bitch, bitch." They both laughed as they continued to walk until the spotted the street performers. They joined the crowd of people watching as the sounds of the trumpet filled their ears. A few couples were dancing and Lexa couldn't help but extend her hand to Clarke.

Clarke pointed at herself causing Lexa too nod. "Why I'd love too." She said in her best southern accent as she took a hold of Lexa's hand.

Lexa pulled her a little closer as they started to dance. "You just say those and we'll beat those birds down to Acapulco Bay. Come fly with me, let's fly away." Lexa sang jokingly as she spun Clarke around.

"This song reminds me of that party your parents made us go too in junior year."

Lexa leaned her head back as she laughed. "It does, the first and last time I ever got drunk off champagne."

"Is that because you ended up walking around in the fountain or because you woke up with a killer migraine?"

"Both and if I do recall correctly you were in the fountain dancing with me."

"Shh, that's a secret." They both laughed as they continued to dance.

 **XOXO**

"This is me." Clarke said once the cab stopped. "Thank you for dinner and the walk."

"Thank you for the company and the mini tour. I had a great time."

"Me too, don't let it be the last time okay?"

Lexa smiled as Clarke opened the cab door and got out before closing it. "I promise, and feel free to call me too. Phone works both ways." Lexa said through the rolled down window.

"Only if you promise not to throw your phone into the sea."

"Touché but I promise."

"Text me when you get back to the hotel?"

"I will. Goodnight Clarke."

"Goodnight Lexa."

With that Clarke backed away from the cab and waved as it started to pull away from the curb. She watched it drive way for a minute before heading up the front steps of her apartment.

A half hour later as Clarke laid down on her couch, fresh from her shower she saw her phone light up on her coffee table.

 _Home. Thank you again for your company tonight._

She smiled to herself as she read the text. _Glad you're home safe. The thanks is all for you, even though you deserved to pay for that meal after not telling me that you were in town. Which I'm still mad about so it's still going to cost you. I mean you could have been enjoying my amazing presence way sooner._

A couple minutes past before she saw her phone light up once more. _You should know by now that I'm an idiot but just so you know Keenan is the real idiot. Anyone that truly loves you will understand your dreams and goals and support you in accomplishing them._

Clarke couldn't help but smile as she read Lexa's words. _Thank you, that means a lot. It all worked out for the better anyways. Life seems to have a plan for me, even if I don't know exactly what it is._

 _You and fate, it's meant to be._

Clarke laughed at Lexa's response. _Funny, real funny Lex Luther. Have a good night._

 _Are you going to bed already?_

 _No but I thought you might be since I know it's probably been a long day for you._ Clarke replied, keeping her phone in her hand.

 _I think I have a sugar rush from that ice cream. No sleep for the wicked._

Clarke shook her head as she got comfortable on the couch and put on a movie as she replied to Lexa once again. Two hours later she was fast asleep on her couch, her phone sitting right beside her hand. Yeah, she definitely liked having Lexa as a friend. It was easy and carefree and something about it just felt right.

 **TBC…**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"What are we gonna do for my bitches birthday?" Octavia laughed as her and Lexa ran through the park.

"You're asking me this why?" Lexa answered with the shake of her head as they stopped to buy some water.

"It's her dirty thirty I figured we needed to go big."

"You just wanted to say dirty thirty didn't you?" Octavia nodded happily as they both chugged back half their bottles of water. "Finn doesn't have anything planned?"

"Hell if I know, I've met him twice. I think he's scared of me and I think Clarke is scared to bring him around Lincoln and I."

"That's probably a wise choice for obvious reasons."

Octavia shrugged. "You were never scared of me."

"I was around before you two got close, and you didn't have a gun when we first met."

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "Yes I did and a tazer but who's paying attention to detail."

"And you all wonder why I don't sleep. Anyways, shouldn't you be asking her other friends? She seems to have enough of that, I can't keep up. I'm trying to learn all their names from when she talks about them but I mostly end up nodding my head."

"They'll all tell her plus you've been spending the most time with her lately."

"I have not." Octavia looked at her running partner. "Okay so we've gone out a few times."

"A few? It's like every other day Lex Luther. Either on her lunch break or for dinner, and late night coffee."

Lexa blushed slightly, not realizing just how much time her and Clarke had been spending together. "To be fair, you and her are the only people I really know here. It's been kind of nice getting to know you both again."

"Mhmm, you can peel your lips off my ass now."

"You seriously need to stop talking to Anya and Raven." At the mention of her friend's names Lexa's eyes lit up.

"Oh shit, I know that look and I'm pretty sure I'm going to like it." Lexa smiled and wiggled her eyebrows as she threw her water bottle out and took off running leaving Octavia to groan and chase after her.

 **XOXO**

Laguna Beach – 4.5 Years Ago

 _Clarke took a deep breath before reaching forward and pressing the doorbell. It felt weird for more than one reason but she couldn't remember the last time she had rang the doorbell at the Callaway house. Even before her and Lexa had started dating she was always told to walk right in and would get into some serious trouble when she didn't._

 _She waited for a minute before she heard the sound of footsteps inching closer to the front door. She held her breath unintentionally as the doorknob turned and only let it out once she saw Elizabeth standing in front of her._

" _Clarke! It's so good to see you sweetie! Please come in." Clarke nodded trying to hold back the tears._

" _Hi. Sorry to stop by with no warning."_

" _Oh please honey, you don't ever need to apologize for coming over. Especially when you live across the country!" Once again Clarke found herself nodding as her throat started to dry up. "Jeff isn't home but he should be home shortly."_

 _Clarke sat gingerly on the chair in front of the island in the kitchen as Elizabeth went to the fridge and got poured her a glass of water. "Is she home?" Clarke finally had the courage to ask._

" _I'm afraid she isn't." Before the first tear could fall from Clarke's eyes Elizabeth's arms were around her. It wasn't long after that that Clarke broke down in the older woman's arms._

 _Elizabeth held her for at least a half an hour before Clarke finally got a hold of herself. "She's not coming home is she?" Elizabeth was speechless; all she could do was shake her head no._

 _An hour later as Clarke sat in the kitchen absentmindedly watching Elizabeth cook dinner Jeff Callaway came home and took no time at all to cross the room and give Clarke the biggest hug he probably ever had. Clarke had been his second daughter long before her and Lexa even thought about dating so he knew by the look on her face that she was hurting and he didn't like it._

" _She's with her isn't she?" Clarke finally asked after a somewhat wordless dinner._

 _Elizabeth and Jeff shared a look. "She's in Europe of with Costia." Jeff finally said, knowing that his wife wouldn't be able too. They were both ready to move to Clarke's side if need be but in true Clarke fashion she swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her chin up._

" _I guess she's made her choice then." A pause. "I don't know what she's told you both but I truly have no idea what happened or why. I have tried calling, I've tried emailing, I don't know what more I can do to get through to her but please know how much I love her and that that has never changed. I would never intentionally hurt her."_

" _We know sweetheart. For what it's worth we hope that whatever happened gets resolved. You two are too perfect together to be apart but heaven forbid that doesn't happen know that you are always welcome here."_

 _Jeff nodded along with every word his wife was saying. "And that we will love you no matter what happens between you and Lexi. You will always be a part of this family Clarke, you won't lose us."_

 _Clarke bit her lip as she tried to hold back the tears as she got up and hugged both the Callaway's. "I love you both so much." Elizabeth kissed the top of her head as Jeff rubbed her back gently. They loved their daughter and hated to see her in pain but seeing Clarke like this they knew whatever Lexa was battling was not something that Clarke had truly done, even if Lexa thought so._

 _ **xoxo**_

" _Should we tell her you were here when she gets home?" Jeff asked gently as they pulled up to the airport._

" _No, if she doesn't know because her and I talked then I'd like to leave it at that if that's okay."_

 _Elizabeth and Jeff nodded. "Of course, whatever you want. We'll visit soon."_

" _Octavia will be happy to hear that. I love you both so much, thank you for always being there for me too." With that Clarke grabbed her back from the backseat and stepped out of the SUV with the feeling that everything was going to be entirely different the moment she stepped onto the plane back to New York._

 **XOXO**

"Hey what are you doing right now?" Lexa asked once Clarke answered her phone.

"It's three a.m. what do you think I'm doing?" Was Clarke's sarcastic reply.

"If I had to guess, I'd say walking out of work."

Clarke stopped walking and looked back at the building she had just exited. "Are you stalking me again?"

"It's not stalking if you like it."

"Who said I did?"

Lexa smiled to herself at Clarke's response. It always made it more fun when someone could give her back what she gave out. "The smirk that is currently plastered over your face."

Clarke's face turned from smirking to questioning as she took a look around the parking lot of the hospital before seeing a light start to flicker. Shaking her head Clarke walked towards the light. "What are you doing here?" She asked over the phone.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to get something to eat because I'm starving!" Lexa answered, hitting the end call button on her phone as she sat leaning against her bike. Helmet in her hand.

"You could have called Octavia."

"I did, she's stuck working the beat tonight so I had to settle with you. She told me you'd be done work soon, hence why I'm here."

"Great, so I'm second best?"

Lexa laughed. "Not at all, you're third. George, the hotel doorman was stuck working too but I told him I'd bring him something back with me. So you're actually third."

"You want to eat alone don't you?"

"I mean if you aren't hungry." Lexa grinned as Clarke shook her head as Lexa passed her the extra helmet. "Climb aboard."

Clarke took the helmet from Lexa's hand before putting it. It had been awhile since she had been on the back of a bike but some things came back to you naturally. Sort of. Lexa moved her hands up to tighten the strap of the helmet for Clarke before putting her hand out to help Clarke on.

Without thinking about it Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist and leaned into her as she started the bike. Something about it felt so comfortable even though this was the closest she had been to Lexa in a very long time.

Lexa took a deep breath as she started the bike, the feeling of Clarke's warm hands radiated through her jacket. Her heart sped up and she could only hope that Clarke didn't feel it beating through her chest. Leaning back a little she grinned as she gave Clarke a thumbs up. A second later Clarke reciprocated with the same gesture before returning her hand to where it sat around Lexa.

 **XOXO**

"What do you mean she didn't say anything?" Octavia asked as she continued to jump on Clarke's bed like a child.

"She didn't mention it at all. Not a single word, or gesture. I even paid for breakfast. I'm pretty sure she forgot!"

Octavia stopped jumping and sat down on her knees next to Clarke. "Even if she did forget, why is it bothering you so much?"

Clarke glared at Octavia. "What? It's a fair question."

"We were together for seven years and she's known me my whole life how could she forget my birthday!"

"Well are you facebook friends?" Clarke shook her head no. "Are you instagram friends?" Another no. "Are you friends on any social media platform?"

"No but that's not the point she shouldn't need social media to remember someone's birthday that she's literally known her whole life. It bothers me because we were supposed to be friends." It was Octavia's turn to give Clarke a knowing look. "What?"

"Supposed to be friends my arse!"

Clarke buried her head under the covers as she tried to hide from the world and more specifically from Octavia. "She always made such a big deal about my birthday. She always made it about me, and making sure that I knew I was loved so for her to not even so much as send a text message is bullshit and it sucks."

"Maybe she has her days mixed up. With the amount of hours she works that is very possible."

"No O, she straight up forgot!"

"There is nothing straight about Lexa."

Without removing herself from her make shift cave Clarke grabbed her spare pillow and smacked Octavia with it. "I guess I've been forgetting that we're not the old us, we're not Clarke and Lexa always and forever. We're just Clarke and we're just Lexa but it's hard because when we're around each other we fall back into this easy carefree rhythm. I keep having to remind myself that that isn't who we are. We're exes trying to be friends."

"And yet it bothers you that she seemingly forgot your birthday?"

Clarke finally emerged from her hiding spot. "I think I'm just being emotional. Thirty is such a daunting age and it's really scary."

"Thanks way to make me want to catch up to you! Seriously though Clarke, I think you're putting too much thought into this. She'll remember by the end of the day. Did Finn at least get you something pretty." Octavia wiggled her eyebrows.

"Ugh, no. I got a brief happy birthday around midnight, just after yours and Lincoln's. I think things may be fizzing out a bit but who knows we'll see where it leads."

"On that depressing note I'm going to go and make you your favourite omelet and get you a cup of coffee. You stay here, not that I think you're going to move." Octavia laughed as she pounced up from the bed and out the door. It had been tradition for so long now that Clarke was used to it. Every birthday they would wake the other up and make them breakfast as sort of an apology for a years worth of having shitty roommate moments.

 **xoxo**

"She totally bought it! She thinks you forgot." Octavia spoke as quietly into the phone as she could so that Clarke wouldn't be able to hear her.

"I feel really bad, it's really hard for me not to say it. It's been hard the last four years not to say anything today but now that I'm here in New York and we're friends it's brutal!"

"Then don't say anything and be very busy at work." Octavia heard Lexa's groan and tried not to burst out laughing. This was the part of the plan that was Octavia's idea and she was loving it far too much.

Ten minutes later she walked back up to Clarke's bedroom and dropped handed her the plate. "These smell really good O."

"I'm awesome, you don't have to tell me."

Clarke rolled her eyes as Octavia turned the television in the bedroom on and crawled into bed next to her best friend.

 **XOXO**

"Have you heard from Raven yet? Is she coming up next weekend?" Octavia asked as she and Clarke got ready for dinner later that evening.

Clarke frowned. "Yeah she called and wished me a happy birthday and said she was so sorry but that she wasn't going to be able to make it. Something about Pluto and building something, I don't know. She said she's going to make it up to me as soon as work settles down."

"I'm sorry that sucks donkey balls."

Clarke shrugged as she put her earrings in. "It's fine, I guess that's what happens when your best friend is a rocket scientist. They aren't easily replaceable." Octavia put a supportive arm around Clarke and kissed her cheek.

"Dinner is going to be amazing and Lincoln is paying. I told him we should be making Finn pay but Linc said that was rude." Clarke laughed as Octavia hailed a cab for them.

"Thank you."

Octavia smiled. "What for?"

"Being here." Octavia winked at her.

"Stop being so sappy, it's your birthday and just because your crush forgot about it doesn't mean she isn't in to you."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "She's not into me and she is certainly not my crush. Remember that conversation we've had about a hundred times about how that ship has sailed, and sunk? Raven will build an actual space ship before Lexa Callaway and I will ever happen again."

"You wouldn't know considering how much time you two spend together."

"We don't spend that much time together."

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "If that's what you tell yourself at night when you fall asleep. Actually she's probably what you think about when you put yourself to sleep since Finn isn't…"

"…do not finish that sentence Octavia or I will throw you out of this cab."

Octavia bit her lip and tried not to laugh. "Sorry is it a sensitive subject?" She continued to chuckle to herself as Clarke ignored her and looked out the window.

 **XOXO**

"Holy shit! Mom!" Clarke grinned as she saw her mother sitting at the head of the table.

Abby smiled and stood up to hug her daughter. "Happy birthday Clarke." Clarke pushed her mom back slightly so she could look at her still a little shocked. "You didn't seriously think that I would forget your birthday, especially your 30th."

Clarke smiled sheepishly. "I'm just glad you're here. You didn't warn me that thirty sucked! I feel so old!"

Abby shook her head as Clarke finally let her go. "Thirty is actually where life really starts."

"I'll take your word for it." Clarke smiled as she sat down between Finn and her mom, finally starting to feel a little better about her birthday.

 **XOXO**

"I don't understand why we have to stay at your place when mine was closer."

"Birthday traditions Clarke! We've always spend birthday's here, we can turn the barbeque on and make smores and watch shitty rom coms until the sun comes up."

"I'm tired, we could have done that at my place too."

"It's your birthday, stop being whiney and be thankful you got the day off work." Octavia put the key in the lock and started to open the door.

"I love work, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I mean even Finn couldn't get someone to cover his shift tonight." Clarke stepped into the dark apartment that she was so familiar and instantly knew something was a little off.

 **XOXO**

"SURPRISE!" The lights came on, almost blinding her for a moment before she took a look around the room to see everyone she loved in the same place. Raven, Anya and Echo had the biggest grins on their faces as Raven ran up to her and gave her a huge hug.

"Did you seriously think if work told me that I wouldn't tell them to go float themselves?"

Clarke almost wanted to cry tears of joy as she hugged Anya and then Echo before Gustus came over to pick her up and spin her around, instantly making her laugh.

Once she was back on the ground Clarke took another look around and saw her mother sitting back smiling but it was who was next to her that made Clarke's heart jump. Moving over she wrapped her arms around Elizabeth and Jeff. "What are you both doing here?"

"I was flying with my doctor, so I figured I was safe. Especially since we're visiting the doctor who saved my ass."

"I think it was your heart dear." Elizabeth joked. "We wouldn't miss your dirty thirty." She winked causing Clarke to laugh with the shake of her head.

"Mom, please don't ever say that again."

Just as Clarke was about to say something to Lexa Octavia walked over with a large bottle of champagne in her hand and pulled her away.

"Alright girlie, make a wish and pop it open."

Closing her eyes for a second she laughed as she pushed against the cork in the bottle. A loud _Pop!_ and the cork went flying as everyone cheered a 'happy birthday'. Looking around the room once again Clarke's eyes landed on Lexa who was leaning against the kitchen counter next to their parents, a large smile on her face.

 **TBC…**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Lexa quietly sat down next to Clarke after the blonde had been missing for about twenty minutes. She silently handed her a glass of wine before looking up at the sky with the girl.

Clarke finally looked over at her with a smile before looking back out at the city lights. "How'd you know I was up here?"

"I'm smarter than I look." Lexa chuckled as she bumped her shoulder against Clarke's.

"This is your get away from the world place, at least in New York."

"And yours is on the beach near the pier by my house, at least in Laguna." Lexa laughed with a smile and waited until Clarke was ready to speak. "I just went from hating my birthday to loving it in the span for a second. It's a little overwhelming to have everyone I care about in the same room. That sounds really weird but it's just a lot of emotion."

Lexa shook her head. "I totally get it, being pulled in twenty different directions at once but over all, surprised?"

"Very much so. I don't know how Octavia managed to keep it a secret or where she came up with the idea but I definitely owe her one now." Clarke smiled as she looked at Lexa and tried to read her reaction. "It was really nice of her to invite your parents too and for them to come."

"My parents love you, almost as much as they love me. Actually sometimes I think they love you more."

"They were never close with Costia?"

Lexa shook her head. "No, I mean they were friendly and welcoming but that bond was never there. It's always been different, you know that."

"My dad used to go and watch your soccer games so it's only fair that your parents are close with me."

"I remember that." Lexa laughed. "I'm pretty sure our dads were more like my soccer moms than any of the actual moms there."

Clarke nodded and Lexa could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she looked up at the sky. Without thinking about it Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke as the other woman rested her head against Lexa's shoulder. "You knew that was why I came up here didn't you?" Clarke finally said a couple minutes later.

"You're an open book at this point." Clarke raised an eyebrow without raising her head off Lexa's shoulder. "Don't worry I'm the only person who has a copy of it."

"Thank you."

"No need for thanks."

Clarke leaned back and finally moved to stand up. "Shut up and accept it." She chugged back the glass of wine Lexa had brought her and smiled. "I guess I should get back inside before they think I've escaped and send a search party." Lexa grinned as she stood up without saying a word. "Wait, you were the search party."

Lexa grinned with a shrug. "I volunteered."

"Easy Katniss."

"Wait." Lexa stopped her before she reached for the door causing Clarke turn to around as Lexa took a step closer to her. "Happy birthday Clarke."

Without warning Clarke threw her arms around Lexa and brought her in for a tight hug. "I kind of thought you forgot."

"Octavia told me. I could never forget your birthday. It was always the hardest time of year. Every year at midnight I would grab my phone on reflex or something and go to text you but I just could never bring myself to."

"So this year you show up with Orchid and make me pay for my own damn late night breakfast?" Clarke grinned and her and Lexa stood in close proximity.

Lexa shook her head. "No the money is in your bag, you just haven't found it yet. I paid for it when you were in the bathroom. I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner, I've been struggling with it all day."

"You sneaky mom!" Clarke smacked her on the arm playfully. All the wine and champagne starting to go to her head.

"I couldn't let you pay on your birthday, I was raised better than that. My mother would slap me upside my head so quick."

"Speaking of, we should really get back before our parents prove they can out drink our friends."

Lexa nodded with a large grin plastered on her face. "Good call, I do not want to find our moms playing beer pong again."

"That was definitely not a good night."

Both women started laughing at the memory. "Sobered us up real fast didn't it?"

Clarke nodded as Lexa held the door open for her.

 **XOXO**

A couple hours later, almost everyone had left, including Lexa and Clarke's parents, both opting to stay at a hotel rather than cramp their kids style.

"I'm going to head out and let you have girl time." Finn whispered in Clarke's ear with a smile as he kissed her cheek.

"Okay, thank you for being here."

He nodded with a grin. "Of course." He turned to all the ladies left in the room. "It was very nice to meet you all." He waved before Clarke walked him to the door.

"What's with his hair?" Anya asked once Clarke was back in the living room.

"His hair was kind of cute, good job Clarke." Raven hi fived her as she sat down and leaned her back against the couch.

Octavia walked back into the room and set the last two bottle of wine onto the table. "Thank you guys for coming all this way."

"It's about time we got the New York invite." Echo said as she leaned up to the table and started to fill everyone's cups.

"That's what I've been saying!" Anya smacked Clarke on the arm as she stuck her tongue out at Lexa. "Seriously, it's been how many years and this is the first time I've gotten an invite. Rude."

"Where'd Gus go?" Octavia asked as she looked around the room, suddenly realizing that he wasn't around.

"I got rid of him. He and Lincoln went god only knows where. They'll be fine." She laughed as Octavia shook her head.

"I think they have a bit of a bromance going on and I'm starting to wonder if I should be worried."

Anya shook her head no. "You got me in the deal, I say you're winning." Behind Anya Lexa was vigorously shaking her head. "Excuse you?" Anya asked with attitude as she turned around and looked at Lexa. "Just remember I know all your secrets!"

"Fuck." Lexa groaned under her breath.

"That's what I thought." Anya took a drink of her wine.

"So how's it feel it to join the thirty club?" Echo asked as Clarke leaned back against the couch, her wine glass pressed to her lips.

"Weird and it's only been a day. I'm still in too much shock that you all are here to even think about how it feels to be so old."

Raven grinned and rubbed the top of Clarke's head, messing up her hair. "Well buddy, it has only just begun because we are so going out to the club. We need to show these two how we do it in NYC."

Octavia sat grinning with a nod as she took a swig right from the bottle of wine. "Believe me, as fun at Cali is you two haven't experienced anything like New York."

"Us two? What about her?" Echo pointed to Lexa.

"I live here!"

Octavia nodded. "These two used to roll in at six a.m. back in the day when some of us had class in the morning."

"It happened like twice!" Clarke defended.

Lexa nodded as she leaned across the table so that her and Clarke could cheers their glasses. "Says the girl that used who used to have full fledged parties when we were trying to sleep!"

"Actually it was just you that was trying to sleep, I always joined the party." Clarke said sheepishly with a shrug. "I'm starving, O, where'd you put my cake?"

"Fridge but I'll help you get it." Clarke nodded as she leaned on the table to help herself up. Her and Octavia giggled the whole way to the kitchen for no reason which told them both that they were in fact drunk.

"When are you going to admit it to yourself?" Anya asked as she and Raven sat on either side of Lexa who looked absolutely clueless.

"Don't make that face Commander, we aren't stupid." Echo chirped in with a laugh as Lexa's face only got more confused.

"No but she is." Raven joked as she smacked Lexa's leg. "You're crushing on my girl."

"What? I am not. You guys are senile in your old age! And shut up before she hears you." Lexa shook her head as she finished her glass on wine.

"Come on Lex, we've been friends since we could walk. I know your heart eyes when I see them and I haven't seen them in a long time."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "What the fuck are heart eyes?"

"The way your eyes light up whenever a certain blonde walks into the room. You know up until now I was mostly trying to piss you off when I joked about you and Clarke but now I'm starting to think I've been right this whole time." Anya shrugged as Lexa grabbed the other bottle of wine from the table.

"Great, cake. Anya, you love cake, you should eat some!" Lexa grinned as Octavia handed her two forks so that she could hand one to Anya.

"What are we talking about ladies?" Clarke asked.

"Nothing major, just that I have a date on Saturday." Lexa covered as she stuck her fork into the cake.

Clarke stopped and sat down in her previous spot. "A date? With whom? I thought we were in a no dating zone?"

"Yeah I was but I'm far too charming apparently when I get order my coffee."

"No, tell me it's not Amy for the café?"

Lexa laughed with a nod. "She asked, and I didn't know how to tell her no."

This time it was Clarke's turn to laugh as she stuck her own fork into the cake. "I can not wait to hear about this! When are you doing?"

"Couple days, I think. I wrote it down, I honestly don't remember."

"You're terrible." Clarke was still laughing as she ate her cake.

"Hi, yeah thing 1 and thing 2, you aren't alone and if you want to be, you know where your room is!" Octavia laughed as she pointed drunkenly down the hall.

"Soooorrrrry." Clarke sassed as she stuck her tongue out before having another bite of cake.

Raven and Echo leaned into Octavia as they watched their friends. "How long have they been like this?" Raven whispered just loud enough for Octavia and Echo to hear.

"Since Clarke found out Lexa was in town. I swear they see more of each other than I see both of them, combined. Is this how it happened the first time?"

"Not sure, we never really got all the details because they were aware at school but they did play the friend card pretty hard back then." Echo shrugged as she leaned back onto the couch.

 **xoxo**

An hour later Clarke yawned and stretched out her neck. "I'm staying here tonight O, I'm too damn tired to go home."

"Room is already waiting for you." Clarke gave her a thumbs up before getting up and clumsily walking towards her old bedroom.

"You're so crushing on her." Raven laughed as she watched Lexa's glossy eyes follow Clarke to the bedroom.

"What?" She asked finally clueing in that someone was talking to her.

Her three friends laughed. "Nothing, nothing at all Commander, go back to what you were doing."

Lexa rolled her eyes and flipped off her friends before standing up and heading to the kitchen.

 **xoxo**

"Come in." Clarke said as she slipped on an old t-shirt that she had left at Octavia's for occasions like this.

Lexa walked in with her eyes closed, holding out a bottle of water. "I'm clothed. Mostly." Clarke laughed as she took the bottle from Lexa's hand.

"That's more than enough clothes, are you sleeping in the arctic?" She closed the door behind herself as she leaned against the familiar wall. "It's different in here."

"A lot has changed since the last time you were in this room." Clarke said before she took a sip of the water Lexa had just handed her.

"It's definitely been a long time." Clarke nodded as she accidentally brushed past Lexa as she went into her old washroom and started to wash off her face. Lexa couldn't help but watch her for some reason she didn't understand. "What were they bothering you about out there that you had to find refuge in here?"

Busted. "The usual. The four of them together is not a good thing."

Clarke looked up at Lexa through the mirror. "I'll let the vague statement pass this time because I am far too drunk to think of a smart ass comment but you can hide out in here for a little bit."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome to stay the night. I'm pretty sure the other two are and your hotel is across town."

"I can't impose I don't mind the cab ride home."

Clarke shook her head. "Don't be stupid. There's a box in the bottom of the closet, I'm sure you'll find something to change into." She watched Lexa nod before she moved off the wall.

Ten minutes later Clarke emerged from the washroom to see Lexa sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of her old shorts and a USC t-shirt. "I thought I lost this shirt you know?"

Clarke shrugged. "Not my fault you left it here."

"You sent everything back to me in a box, this was not in it."

"Finders keepers bitch." The statement caused them both to burst out laughing as Clarke climbed into the bed and leaned against the headboard as she turned on the tv.

"You really need to stop hanging out with Octavia." Lexa laughed.

In return Clarke threw a pillow at her. "You don't have to sit down there, sit on the bed properly or go back out into the jungle with the wild animals."

"Rude." Lexa moved the pillow before sitting next to Clarke at the head of the bed. She closed her eyes for a minute but the room started to spin so she opened them and tried to focus on the t.v.

"I'm not rude, you're the one who acts like I have cooties."

"You do." Lexa stuck her tongue out and it threw them both into a fit of laughter as Clarke hit her again with a pillow. "Oh it's so on now." Thanks to the alcohol there wasn't a second thought as Lexa leaned over and started tickling Clarke's sides.

The blonde tried to squirm away before relenting and trying to tickle the other woman back. They rolled around the bed in a fit of laughter as they continued to try and get the other to concede.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Anya asked as she threw the door open. "We can hear you down the hall."

They both moved their hands away from each other as they looked over at the door to see Anya standing with her hands on her hips. "Oh that's nothing, I've walked in on so much worse. Continue, but keep it down, I'm going to bed." Octavia said as she peaked over Anya's shoulder before walking off.

Once their friends walked away they looked at other before bursting out into another fit of laughter.

 **XOXO**

Lexa woke up and brought one arm up to shield her eyes from the light was pouring in from outside. It took her a couple moments to get her bearings right as her head started to pound. With her eyes still closed she reached over and grabbed the bottle of water that was sitting on the table beside her. As she finally started to wake herself up so that she could drink some water she felt a warm hand run gentle across her stomach to lay lightly on her hip. It was a very familiar feeling. Too familiar.

Opening her eyes and trying to rid herself of the sleepy hungover daze she saw blonde hair cascading over her shoulder. She looked next to her on the table that she had just gotten the bottle from and saw the two small pills sitting there. She couldn't help the smile that came over her face. Maybe things didn't change as much as she thought. Reached over she grabbed the two pills and swallowed them with a mouthful of water before she relaxed back into the bed.

She contemplated trying to sneak away but she knew the minute she moved Clarke would wake up and then it would be even more awkward. Instead she closed her eyes and started to feel herself fall back to sleep as a soft murmur filled the quiet room. It had been a long time since she had heard it and it was like music to her ears as she felt Clarke take a deep breath and adjusting her leg a little before going silent and still once again. Lexa rationalized that Clarke was comfortable and she didn't want to disturb that so she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep herself.

 **XOXO**

"Are they still passed out in there?" Raven asked as she watched Octavia grab something out of the fridge.

"Out like lights." Anya responded as she walked back into view.

Octavia grinned and set the orange juice down in front of everyone. "Aww my little babies are all cute and cuddling. Let take bets on how long we think this whole 'friend' thing will last."

"I got a twenty on 2 months." Echo grinned from where she laid still half asleep on the couch.

Raven shook her head. "No way my money is on 2 weeks."

"Lexa is stubborn I give it a month."

"A month Anya? You must be as delusional as that one." Octavia pointed to the couch with her fork before taking another bite of her Eggos. "I give it another week before one of them realizes that there are more than friendly feelings going on there."

"It's settled then, closest one to their approximate date wins the money." Raven nodded affirmatively as if her word was law. They started laughing before stopping themselves, not wanting to wake their two friends.

"Do we think Clarke has figured out that this party was mostly Lexa's idea?" Anya asked as she stole a piece of Raven's Eggo.

"She has too, she knows I'm not good with surprises. I tried before, it didn't work out too well but we all know Lexa hasn't told her because that's what normal people do."

They all laughed once again before they went back to eating their breakfast. Yep, this was definitely going to be a fun game to watch.

 **TBC…**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

A couple hours later Clarke felt herself start to wake up but she instinctively cuddled into the person that she was practically lying on top of. Her head wasn't sore but she was surprised that it wasn't worse. She kept her eyes closed as she let out a quiet yawn as her fingers ran over the exposed hip they were resting on. For a second she thought she was lying with Raven but then she something else hit her. Her nose brushed gently over the side of the person's neck and the fragrance hit her like a truck. This was definitely not Raven, it wasn't even close to being Raven. This was most certainly Lexa Callaway. She was cuddling with her ex. She meant to pull away, even in her half asleep daze but she was so comfortable and then Lexa went and stretched underneath her. Instinctively Clarke's fingertips grasped her hips to keep her close.

She heard Lexa let out a yawn and fingertips start to absentmindedly draw on her back exactly how she liked it. After another five minutes of waiting to see if Lexa was going to say anything Clarke braved it an opened an eye. Yes just one. She squinted at the bright light that was pouring in through the window. They always had never been good with remembering to close the blinds when they were done staring at the moon or watching a storm.

"She lives." Clarke couldn't help but groan as she heard Lexa's raspy voice. A small smile crept across her face as she buried her head back into Lexa's neck. Something about their current situation was far more comfortable than it should have been.

"Good morning to you too." Clarke finally let out as she got the energy to roll on to her back.

Lexa did nothing but smile as they stared at each other for long moments. Neither really knowing what to say, so instead they burst out laughing at the exact same moment. "I am dreading going out there."

Clarke nodded as Lexa rolled onto her side and leaned up on her forearm, head resting in the palm of her hand. "How many times do you think they've 'checked in' on us?"

"At least five, maybe six. It's your fault though."

Lexa nodded in agreement. "How is it my fault? This is what happens when there is no pillow wall!"

Clarke couldn't get the grin that was plastered on her face. "It's still your fault."

"I clearly fell asleep first because I woke up this morning to advil next to my water."

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "I was being nice, thank you! For the record, I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow after putting those there but we both know you're head hates wine, and we had a lot of it last night."

"According to the pounding in my head, we sure did!" It was at that moment that Lexa's stomach decided to grumble which caused them to fly into another fit of quiet laughter as they tried not to alert their friends that they were awake.

"Ugh, I am so hungry too. What do you think if we climbed out the fire escape and went for brunch?"

"Clarke, let's be realistic, we are both far too lazy for that."

"Well we can't wait them out! They're like a pack of circling lions, they aren't going anywhere."

"I'll deal with them. Consider it your birthday present!"

Clarke leaned up on her forearms as Lexa slid out of bed and grabbed the hoodie that was sitting on top of the dresser on her way out of the door. "I owe you one." Clarke chuckled as she heard the door open and then close quietly.

 **XOXO**

"Hello." Clarke answered her phone as she stood in front of the fifth floor nurses station.

"Hey you."

Clarke rolled her eyes with a smile on her face as she continued to look over the clipboard in her hands. "To what do I owe the pleasure of having Lexa Callaway call lil ol' me?"

Lexa laughed and Clarke was certain it probably came with the shake of her head. "I was wondering if you had plans tomorrow night?"

"One second, let me check." With that she pulled the phone away from her ear and went through her calendars. "Fox, do I have any surgeries scheduled for tomorrow night?"

Lexa smiled to herself as she pictured Clarke in her white lab coat. "I am in fact free tomorrow night, what's up?"

"Well it dawned on me that I never got you a birthday present."

"Lexa you don't need to get me anything." Clarke interrupted before Lexa could finish.

"Let me finish." They both laughed as Clarke leaned against the desk. "I got hockey tickets through work, one of the companies contributors gave them to me. So I didn't even pay for them but I was wondering if you wanted to go."

Clarke's eyes lit up. "Really? Rangers of Islanders?"

"Picture my face right now. I would never ask you to go to an Islanders game unless it was against the Rangers. So is that a yes?"

A pause. "What about Anya, or Octavia?"

"If I picked either of them over the other they may both kill me. Plus Octavia is working and Anya doesn't really like hockey."

"Am I your last resort?"

Lexa laughed. "No, that was Raven."

"You're such an ass Callaway but I'm not about to let that stop me from going."

"Awesome, meet me at gate 6 for six thirty?"

Clarke nodded even though the only one that could see her was Fox. "I'll be there, on time, I promise."

"Me too. Have a good day Clarkey."

"Jump off a bridge Commander." With the sound of Lexa's laugh Clarke hung up the phone before turning and looking at Fox. "What?"

Her friend raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "Nothing, nothing at all. You realize Monroe is going to be pissed you have a date with her future wife right?"

"Not my fault she hasn't locked that down yet and I'm too hot to stay away from."

"Can you two just get it on already?"

Clarke looked around the room before giving her head a shake. "I need to stop letting you all hang out with Octavia."

"I don't need Octavia to see the way you two have eye sex."

"We do not. I'm going to make my rounds before surgery. Keep this to yourself." Clarke set down the clipboard she had in her hand before picking up the next one and walking off.

 **XOXO**

"What are you smiling about? A new girl in your life perhaps?" Elizabeth sat down across from Lexa at the table.

"No, that's definitely an old girl smile. See the way it goes all the way up to her ears." Jeff smiled at his daughter as she started to blush, letting him know he was right.

"Oh are you and Costia speaking again?" Her mother asked, trying very hard to maintain a straight face as she asked the question.

Lexa rolled her eyes and sipped on her wine that her father just poured for her. "I'm going to need something much stronger than this to get through dinner tonight aren't I?"

"Yep, you were right Liz, she's falling again."

"How do you know that I'm not happy about the date I went on the other night."

Her mother let out a laugh that wasn't necessarily meant for the restaurant they were in. "Please dear, we all saw how you were looking at Clarke during her party."

"We're strictly friends. Why is everyone so on our case about it?"

"Because you two have never been friends. Not even when you were six years old, you refused to play with each other. Except you always gave her the other have of your popsicle."

"I was taught manners, thank you." Her parents both laughed. "I'm enjoying being single and even if I ever entertained the idea of Clarke and I again she would laugh in my face. She has made it perfectly clear that our ship has sailed. Her words not mine."

Her parents looked between each other, speaking with their eyes, something Lexa could never decipher. "Lexa there's something we need to tell you."

"What?" She was suddenly very, very worried.

"Clarke had asked us not to tell you but we think now may be the right time."

She looked between her parents as the waiter sat their plates in front of them. "Is Clarke okay because she's seemed fine?"

Both her parents smiled. "She's perfectly healthy, as far as we know. Before you got back from Europe Clarke came by." Elizabeth said as she took a bite of her salmon.

"What? When? Last year? Why is that a big deal?"

Her father shook his head. "No squirt, after you broke up and you went to Europe with Costia. Clarke came back for you, I think that's the wording she used but she swore us to secrecy. She said that if you didn't know because you two had talked then you were meant to know." Lexa's mouth was slightly agape as she took in what her father had told her. "We had dinner with her that night, she was a mess Lexi."

"Why are you guys telling me this now? Is that how you knew she didn't cheat on me?" Her mother nodded.

"We're telling you because we don't want to see either of you that hurt ever again. Yes, that's how I knew though I think you always knew she could never do that to you or anyone too. She was broken and confused when she showed up on our doorstep. She was lost. That's why we always checked on her when we came to New York. We had to make sure that she found herself again, not that we ever doubted she would but we knew that deep down that's what you wanted, to make sure she was okay."

Lexa smiled as she reached out and took a hold of her mother's hand. "I always wondered how she was doing, and it did make me feel better knowing that you both had her back so thank you."

"It was really nice seeing you two get a long the other night."

She smiled at her dad. "You're such a softy Jeffrey." They all laughed. "We're friends, and honestly if that's all we ever are then I'm happy with that." Her parents could tell she meant it so they nodded and didn't push the subject any further.

 **XOXO**

There was an older guy with a Rangers hat on drumming aware on a snare as Lexa looked around, waiting for Clarke. Sure enough a minute later at exactly 6:30 Lexa felt a tap on her shoulder. "Hey pretty girl."

"That's my line." Lexa grinned as she turned around and took in Clarke's appearance. Her hair fell to one side in soft curls, a pair of black skinny jeans with black high-heeled boots topped with a white Rangers jersey and her favourite leather jacket. "Aren't you going to get cold?"

Clarke shook her head with a laugh as the crowd around them continued to get busier as everyone started walking inside the arena. "No, that's what I have you for." Clarke winked before taking Lexa's hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Games get you so rowdy."

"It's been a long day, I need to get my yell on. My interns this year are idiots."

Lexa pulled the tickets out of her purse and showed them at the gate as they continued to make their way inside. "Tell me you aren't the Christina of residents?"

Clarke shrugged. "No, I'm definitely not, hence why I need to let all my frustration out here."

"I can think of another place to let that out." This time it was Lexa's turn to wink.

"Speaking of, how was your date?" Clarke asked with a smirk as she led Lexa through the stadium in the direction of their seats.

"Do not get me started. It reminded me why I'm single. Nice girl but no." Clarke looked at her with a giant smile. "What?"

"Is your staying single and abstinent goal still intact?"

Lexa scowled. "Don't look so shocked. I'm a lady."

"From what I remember maybe in the streets but not between the sheets."

Lexa burst out laughing as her cheeks reddened a little. "What can I say I'm I work hard to play hard."

"Stop before you take that any further." Lexa nodded as she tried to catch her breath from laughing so hard. "How's things with Finn, get the problem fixed as a birthday present?"

Clarke's eyes went wide at Lexa's comment. "And I'm the bad one, but actually I wouldn't know, we broke up."

"What? When? You okay? Do I need to take care of him?" Lexa stopped walking as she tried to read Clarke's expression.

Clarke smiled and looked at Lexa. "Two days ago, right after my birthday. I'm all right, it wasn't something that I expected to last but no the problem wasn't solved and that was part of the problem. He felt more like a friend than a boyfriend; there was no real spark. Lexa nodded in understanding, glad that her friend was okay, because that was all that was really important to her.

"Want a beer?" She asked as they passed the concession stand, and she really didn't know what else to say.

"I would love one!" Clarke smiled as she let go of Lexa's hand. She decided to look at the pictures on the wall as she waited for the brunette who was standing in line.

"Clarke?" She turned around at hearing her name and looked around the crowded space. She was about to turn around when she saw a familiar face dodging the crowd and coming towards her.

"Keenan." Clarke put on the fakest smile she could muster as her heart started to beat rapidly.

"Hi, surprised to see you out on a Thursday night but you look amazing." Clarke bit the inside of her lip and tried to swallow the snarky comment she wanted to make.

"Thanks, and you know when you get taken to a game you don't decline."

"Oh, are you seeing someone?"

Clarke thought for a minute on exactly what she wanted to see. "I am, you?" Short and sweet, always good to keep it simple, especially with an ex.

Keenan shook her head. "Not really, a few people here and there. You know how it is." No, she didn't know how it was but she smiled and nodded anyways.

"Here's your beer pretty girl." Without realizing it Clarke instantly relaxed as she felt Lexa's presence beside her as she handed her a beer. Once Lexa's hand was free she felt it rest slightly on her back.

"You look familiar." Keenan smiled at Lexa in an attempt to be charming.

"Hmm, you don't." Lexa smirked as she saw the corners of Clarke's lip turn upwards.

"Keenan this is Lexa, Lexa this is Keenan." Lexa nodded without removing her free hand from Clarke's back.

"You're the ex, that's where I know you from. I take it you two got back together. I thought you had moved on?"

Lexa shook her head as she leaned in towards Clarke. "You never move on from the most amazingly beautiful woman in the world." They locked eyes and smiled at one another as if Keenan wasn't standing in front of them. "I mean not many people would leave work early to go to a silly hockey game with their girlfriend but she's amazing like that."

Keenan looked at Clarke who was still smiling but for different reasons than Keenan thought. "Mhmm, well I better get going before my date gets antsy. It was nice seeing you Clarke."

"Yeah, you too." She chugged half of her beer as soon as Keenan was out of sight.

"What the fuck was that?" Lexa asked as they moved towards their section. "She's hot, I'll give you that but girl is a bitch."

"Thank you for that, you did not have to tell her that."

"I'm not going to let her stand there like you're inferior to her! You're a bad ass surgeon, her ass needed to be handed to her like she was in a UFC ring with Ronda Rousey." Clarke smiled and kissed Lexa's cheek.

"Seriously, thank you. I haven't seen her since we broke up so of course I would run into her here of all places."

Lexa shrugged as they sat down in their seats. "It was fun, you know how much I love putting people in their places. She did not seem happy that we were together, which made it even better."

"She was always jealous of you." Clarke shrugged as Lexa sipped on her beer. She'd have to remember to ask her more about that comment later. Right now she could tell that the little run in had made Clarke uneasy. So Lexa's immediate job was to make sure the rest of the night went smoothly and that they had as much fun as possible.

 **XOXO**

Lexa couldn't help but watch Clarke with a beer in her hand and jersey on proudly as she yelled at the players and referees. "Come on, open your eyes. That wasn't a cross check, he barely touched him!"

Half way through the game Lexa found herself yelling just as much as Clarke. Which only caused them to drink far more beer than they realized. "I'm starting to feel a little tipsy. I'm getting old." Lexa said with the shake of her head as Clarke sipped on her fifth beer.

"Before you blame me, it's not my fault yelling makes your throat dry." They both smiled at each other as the bell sounded signaling the end of the second period. "I swear this ref is an idiot! I wish someone would cross check him." Clarke continued to huff as the players skated off and the lights on the ice dimmed slightly.

Both Clarke and Lexa looked up at the jumbotron in the middle on the rink and watched as the kiss cam came on. It scanned the room for cute couples and they couldn't help but join in on the 'awws' and laughter with the rest of the crowed as they watched the cute kisses and a couple of disses. They were in a fit of laughter over the mascot giving out kisses to an older lady when they saw themselves flash onto the screen. The laughter intensified when they looked at the screen and then at each other. Lexa tapped her cheek and turned it towards Clarke. Sure enough Clarke leaned forward, trying to hold the laughter in as she placed a soft kiss on Lexa's cheek.

They continued to laugh as the screen moved on to the next couple only to come back to them. A little shocked, they looked at each other and back at the screen several times before their eyes locked. Without wasting another moment Lexa slipped her hand up to cup Clarke's cheek and whispered something that only Clarke could hear. Their eyes were still locked and Clarke was sure she was dreaming as the noise of the crowd faded away. All she could hear was the beating of her heart and before she knew it Lexa's lips were on hers. She smiled into the kiss as Lexa's words made her giggle inwardly; 'This outta show her you were worth waiting for'. The kiss wasn't overly passionate or messy but there was definitely passion in it as they both melted into the feeling of each other in a way they hadn't felt in years. It was far more natural than either had anticipated it being and not at all awkward. In all honesty it was the probably one of the best kisses they had ever shared. The way their lips moved in perfect harmony, it was as though their bodies were on autopilot.

Another moment later Clarke's hearing came back and her ears were filled with the sound of the whole stadium cheering as they both slightly turned their heads to look at the screen. To their delight they saw that they were still on screen, the sides of their foreheads still leaning against one another and Lexa's hand still softly cupping Clarke's cheek. It wasn't until the players started to skate back out on the ice that they realized how long the kiss had actually lasted. Clarke bit the corner of her lip with another giggle as Lexa moved her hand away from her cheek.

 **TBC…**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"You're so angry!"

"Well they went and fucked up! How do you lose when there is a minute left in the game and you're up by a goal! Not even an overtime loss! Dumbasses!"

All Lexa could do was smile as she and Clarke stood waiting to make their way out of their seats. Clarke was still royally pissed that the Rangers lost but Lexa couldn't deny the fact that it was entirely too cute. Especially since Clarke was never considered the sporty type but she was fiery and so the two went hand in hand.

"You've really embraced the Rangers haven't you?" Lexa asked with a laugh as they started walking up the stairs towards the exit.

"I blame Octavia! It was all she would watch so I kind of just picked it up, I really didn't have much of a choice."

Lexa nodded as Clarke stepped in front of her and took her hand and pulled her through the crowd. "I remember her watching hockey quite a bit."

"Yeah it's a good time. Especially when we meet up after work and catch games, have a beer, or two." Clarke grinned and she continued to pull Lexa through the crowd like a pro.

"Why haven't I been invited to one of these nights yet?"

Clarke shrugged as Lexa started walking in the direction of the Rangers store. Without realizing it they were still holding hands. It wasn't until someone bumped into Lexa in the crowd that they let go.

"Sorry." They both looked up and saw Keenan standing next to her date.

Clarke and Lexa both laughed. "No worries." Lexa smiled as she watched Keenan's eyes look for Clarke's who was doing everything except looking at the other woman.

"That was some kiss." Still she looked right at Clarke, never giving Lexa a second glance.

Lexa laughed and perked up a little. "You know when you love a girl, you always find your way back to her, no matter what. Love like that shows." Lexa made it a point to look back at Clarke, catching her eyes. A genuine smile appearing on the blondes face and making Clarke look away.

"You say that now, we'll see what happens when she's barely home."

Finally Clarke looked right at Keenan, a large smile on her face. Lexa knew that look far too well, it was her 'I'm about to drop some truth on you' face. "Actually she'll always say that because Lexi knows how to be successful and maintain a healthy personal life. You do realize that she's the CEO of a major company right? So unlike some people she's not scared of a little work and she's always pushed me to do what I need to do to better myself. That's what loving someone is about; it's not about wanting to be the only thing in their life.

 _Mic drop._ Was all Lexa could think as she channeled her inner Raven. She looked over to see Keenan's face and it took everything in her to not burst into laughter. Clarke still had that cocky grin on her face and Keenan looked like she had been run over by a train.

"Have a good night, should attend to your date, she may think you're too busy for her." Clarke winked at the woman before taking a hold of Lexa's hand and walking further into the store.

"Way to go Griff, the Laguna Bitch is still in you."

Clarke laughed as she let go of Lexa's hand once she watched Keenan walk out of the store. "Oh she never went anywhere, she just comes with a side of New York Bitch now." Clarke watched as Lexa reached up and grabbed the Lundquist jersey in her size. She took off her jacket and slipped it on before turning around to look at Clarke.

"What do you think?"

Clarke had to admit, Lexa looked pretty cute in the over sized jersey. She shook her head with a laugh. "You don't even know who he is."

"Sure I do, he's the goalie." Clarke looked a little shocked. "I'm perceptive. Plus you were cussing at him pretty much half the game."

"You picked it because you like that number." Clarke raised her eyebrow, still shaking her head.

Lexa shrugged. "Whatever, I'm getting it." Lexa stuck her tongue out as she made her way over to the cash register.

 **XOXO**

"They're going to lose their shit. Especially since we're both wearing Rangers jerseys now."

"Don't be upset because I look hot in mine. I could be one of those puck bunnies that make the calendars." Clarke burst out into laughter in the cab as Lexa posed as best she could from her seat.

"You're ridiculous."

Lexa shook her head. "No I'm hilarious."

"I disagree."

"The fact that you're laughing leads me to believe you're lying Clarke."

Clarke rolled her eyes at Lexa's lawyer tone. "Don't use that tone with me."

Lexa shrugged with a half grin. "Not my fault I'm smart." They felt the cab come to a stop and before Clarke could take her money out she was watching as Lexa passed him a bill and told him to keep the change. "Move it Griffin."

"First rounds on me." Clarke pointed at her as she exited the cab and held the door open for Lexa to slide out.

"Works for me."

 **XOXO**

"Where the fuck was my invite you bitch?" Octavia shook her head as she stood at the bar with Lexa as Raven and Clarke went to the washroom.

"I tried to get a hold you!" Lexa shrugged as she sipped on the drink Clarke had bought her.

Octavia narrowed her eyes. "Really, because I had no missed calls from you."

"I emailed you! I was in a meeting when I got the tickets, I couldn't exactly call you."

Octavia pulled her phone out of her purse and opened her email. Sure enough there was an email from Lexa Callaway. _Rangers game tomorrow night?_ "I hate you."

Any laughed with the shake of her head. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you two were dating."

"We did, but I was too much for her to handle. My guns scare her." Lexa rolled her eyes as she took another sip of her drink as Octavia put hers on the bar and met Raven and Clarke who had stopped on the dance floor on their way back from the washroom.

Anya leaned against the bar next to Lexa as they watched the three friends dance like no one was watching. "When did you realize it?"

"What?"

"You're giving her the look. When did you realize everything I have been telling you for the past five years?"

Lexa finished her drink and set the glass behind her. A small smile crept over her features. "Maybe I always knew but we kind of kissed tonight."

Anya's eyes widened. "You kind of what?"

Lexa didn't take her eyes off the dance floor. "Kiss cam, run ins with an ex. It was really not romantic at all. It was actually kind of awkward but it still made my heart race the way it used to. Being so close to her, the way she always made me feel came back. It was like everything that I tried to forget was suddenly right in front of me. I didn't realize it right away but about half way into the third period, I snuck a look at her and that was it. I can't believe I let that girl get away."

"You have a crush on Clarke Griffin."

"God that sounds far too familiar."

Anya laughed as she turned around and ordered another round. "That's because it some things will never change. You having the hots for Griff is one of those things."

"Tell her and I'll kill you! I'm not trying to complicate our relationship. We barely know each other anymore and I've really liked getting to know her again. You do anything to jeopardize that and I'll find Octavia's guns."

Anya shook her hands in front of Lexa. "I'm so scared of the big bad lawyer, turned CEO threatening violence. Now if you don't me you'd take my to court or something I might be frightened."

"Shut up. Why are we friends again?"

"Because I'm your dose of reality in that bubble head of yours."

Lexa gave her the middle finger as the music stopped playing. She knew what bar Octavia had chosen to break Raven and Anya into New York life and she was excited to see the look on Anya's face when she realized it. "Now that it's midnight, you all know what time it is. Come on up and let's have some fun." The DJ grinned and before Anya knew what was going on Lexa was dragging her towards the stage.

"No. No. No. No."

"You wanted an invite to New York, well now you've got it!" Clarke grinned as she spoke into Anya's ear once her and Lexa were on stage with them.

"I'm not drunk enough for this! I won't even…" Anya trailed off as she heard the music start to play. All she could do was glare at Raven.

"Senior prom," was all Raven said before the words started to show up on the screen in front of them.

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without you by my side." Clarke sang as she looked at Octavia.

"But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong and I learned how to get along." Raven sang into Lexa's ear with a grin.

"And so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key if I had known for just one second that you'd be back to bother me." Lexa tried to sing without bursting into laughter as she wrapped an arm around Anya's shoulder.

"Oh now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with me goodbye." Octavia turned to look at Anya as she finished singing the line.

A beat. "You think I'd crumble, you think I'd lay down and die. Oh no not I." Anya sang as loudly as she could as she finally crumbled and gave in to the song.

"I will survive, oh as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give and I will survive." They all sang as the crowed cheered.

Once the song was done they all stepped off the stage in a fit of laughter. "Okay someone needs to tell me the senior prom story." Octavia laughed as they headed back to the bar to order another round.

"Alright let Ray Rey tell you the tale." Raven grinned as they all squeezed into an empty booth.

"I'm going to kill you." Anya shook her head as she put back half her beer.

"Just remember I can build bombs." Raven quieted her as Lexa and Clarke shared a look. "Anyways. Picture this: Senior prom after party. We were all partying down on the beach; yes we were quite drunk thanks to Monty. The Griff over here decided that it'd be safer if we brought the party inside because Murphy kept trying to run into the water. So the last time her did it, Anya went in after him, grabbed his ear and dragged him out. That alone was hilarious but it was enough for Lexa to agree that we should move the party elsewhere. We went back to Lexa's since her parents were gone somewhere. It's all a little hazey from the alcohol but at some point in the night all anyone could hear was the sweet sound of Gloria Gaynor being ruined, and I do mean ruined by little miss Anya. This girl was standing on the table, shirt in her hand belting out 'I will survive'. She'll never live it down."

Octavia burst out into laughter as Anya sat looking rather annoyed but there was still a small hint of a smile on her face.

 **XOXO**

"Thank you for tonight." Clarke smiled as they stood outside the large rotating doors of the hotel."

Lexa smiled with a nod. "Anytime, I had fun and now I have my very own jersey for the next time we go."

"We're going again are we?" Clarke asked with a wink.

"Of course. We have to make sure you see a game where they actually win, plus I think we're kiss cam famous now. Need to make an appearance and sign autographs."

It was Clarke's turn to laugh. "We make a good kiss cam team, I'll give you that."

"Are you implying that I'm a decent kisser?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Potentially but it wasn't long enough for me to get a full gage of your skills."

"Is that an invitation?" Lexa challenged, trying to hide the smirk on her face.

"Wouldn't you like to know? In all seriousness," Lexa's heart stopped unsure of what Clarke was going to say. "I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you for taking me, even if I was your second option. Thank god Octavia doesn't check her emails."

Lexa couldn't hold back the smile any longer. "I never said you were my second option."

Clarke read her features in the dim light. "You knew she wouldn't check her email. She's never been good with that and you knew it."

"I had to at least make it look like I tried. Thank God that girl will never change." Clarke let out a small cough. "Are you still fighting off that cold? I thought I told you to take it easy."

"I'm a surgeon, we don't know how to do that and I'll be fine, just the time of year with the seasons changing and all."

Lexa nodded as Clarke reached in and gave her a big hug. "Thank you."

"You said that already." Lexa said as she regretfully pulled away from Clarke.

"I'm glad you were there tonight, with the whole Keenan thing. Not many people get under my skin but she does."

Lexa nodded in understanding. "Just know that you deserve far better than her and I know that me saying that is a complete contradiction but you've worked your ass off to get where you are and you've never let anything stop you. You're an amazing human being and you are going to make someone so very lucky. You're the most independent, brave person I have ever known. You're an inspiration and a prime example of why you should never give up on your dreams and goals because they come true."

Clarke looked down at her feet and blushed slightly. "Thank you Lex, that means a lot, especially coming from you. Never doubt that, just because our past isn't one to be desired doesn't mean that I haven't always valued your opinion."

They stood talking for another brief moment before Clarke shivered and Lexa told her that she better get home and into bed before the sickness finally caught up to her. Clarke watched as Lexa made her way into the hotel and she couldn't help but to smile.

Once she finally got home and got comfortable in bed she realized how much her cheeks hurt. She had almost literally smiled all night, even though running into Keenan had been a slight mood killer, it hadn't taken long for the happy mood she had been in to come back. Deep down she knew it was because of Lexa, because know one really made her smile the way Lexa did. She had a feeling that something had changed tonight, she felt lighter in a weird way but she couldn't place why.

 **XOXO**

One Week Later

Clarke's phone started ringing as she stood in line at the café. She stepped aside and pulled it out of her bag. Her forehead furrowed, as she didn't recognize the number. "Hello?" She answered.

"Hi, is this Clarke?" The voice seemed familiar but Clarke couldn't place it over the phone.

"It is, may I ask who's calling?" She smiled at the barista as she handed her, her coffee.

"Sorry, it's Costia I was wondering if you had a moment to talk." Clarke stopped pouring the cream into her coffee. One thought running through her mind. _Why the fuck was Costia calling her._

 **TBC…**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Clarke took a deep breath before she opened the door to the restaurant. This was against her better judgment but she wanted to know what it was that Costia had to say to her.

Once she told the hostess the name the reservation was under she was led through the restaurant until she saw Costia sitting alone with a glass of wine, looking over the menu. She also noticed the steak knives that were already on the table. _If it comes down to it._ She thought to herself before shaking her head.

"Hi." Clarke let out as she sat down across from Costia.

"Clarke, hi." The other woman grinned and Clarke had to admit in a new light Costia was quite attractive. "Thank you so much for meeting with me."

Clarke nodded. "Sure, I figured if you're calling me it had to be important."

"My apologies again for it being so out of the blue. Your mother gave me your number about a month ago but it took me a little bit of time to find the courage to use it." This wasn't news to Clarke. Costia had told her all of this on the phone but Clarke decided against making a snarky comment because it was clear that Costia was nervous. Something she had never seen before.

"Manhattan please." Clarke told the waiter with a smile. "It's really no problem." Clarke smiled and she could see Costia relax a little.

"I just really wanted to apologize to you. Face to face. You had and have every right to not like me and I understand that now. For so long I never wanted to see it, I never wanted to see what was right in front of me. It wasn't until you came back to Laguna that it hit me."

"Look Costia if this is about Lexa, her and I are not together. I mean we're friends but that's it."

"No, I mean it is about Lexa but not because I want to get back together with her." Clarke's eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to process what Costia was really trying to tell her.

"Back in law school I had a huge crush on her, I mean who wouldn't and I never realized that I was causing doubt in her mind about you and her. I really was trying to be her friend but I will admit when she told me you two broke up I went about it all wrong. Instead of being her friend and trying to talk her out of the worst decision of her life, I went along with it in hopes that maybe she would finally see me." She shook her head as she downed half the wine in her glass. "She used to talk about you, all the time. How amazing you were and how you were the best thing to ever happen to her and that she'd go to the end of the earth for you if that's what it took. I think she loved you so much that it scared the hell out of her. The thought of losing you made her a little crazy. She's one of the least insecure people I have ever met, unless it comes to you. When you came back, I saw the way she looked at you. She didn't even mean to and she certainly didn't notice that she was doing it. I'm still not entirely sure that she'd notice."

Clarke shook her head as she drank most of her own drink. "But you're the one that broke it off, not her. She loved you Costia and she wouldn't have broken off your engagement, especially not because of me."

"I disagree. You don't see how she looks at you. The past four years were good, don't get me wrong but I never wanted to admit to myself that she wasn't the same girlfriend to me that she was to you. I'm not trying to compare us, at all but she used to fly across the country to see you, there were days she wouldn't drive the extra half hour to see me. Is it a big deal, no. However it is very telling. She wouldn't have gone through with our wedding. She didn't even mean to propose, I found the ring and it sort of spiraled. I think it was our way of not wanting to face the inevitable. We just weren't meant to be."

"So what are you saying?"

Costia smiled. "I'm saying you two, you're meant to be. I was watching family videos trying to put something together for the wedding and you're in ninety percent of them Clarke. That means something."

Clarke shook her head as the waiter brought them both their salads. "It doesn't change anything though Costia and I do appreciate you saying all of this and apologizing but when all is said and done Lexa made her choice."

Costia shook her head. "You are just as stubborn as she is." She smiled as she took a bite of her salad and Clarke had to admit that she was impressed with the woman's brave face. "The only reason her and I were even together was because she thought we slept together in Greece and we didn't. I may a lot of things but I won't sleep with someone when they're that drunk and I won't sleep with someone whose heart really isn't into it at all. You are all she talked about that whole trip. I guarantee you she never would have walked down that aisle. You literally saved her dads life and in that moment, through all of that you were all she say. In times of need you turn to the people you trust the most, even if you don't mean too."

"Families do that all the time though, I'm their doctor and I literally had my hands inside their loved ones. It's natural."

Costia shook her head once again. "I've seen that too, in court rooms but the way she was looking at you was entirely different. She was looking at you the way I wished she would have been looking at me."

"I'm sorry." Clarke offered, feeling kind of bad.

"Please don't be. It's no ones fault except my own. That's what you get for getting in the way of true love."

Clarke couldn't help but let out a laugh. "It definitely is not true love. We aren't star-crossed lovers, fate isn't at play, there's no serendipity or any of that magic. We are just two people whose lives grew apart."

Costia's smile got bigger and Clarke couldn't understand why. "Except your lives never really grew apart. The way she treated you, the way she treats you, is different from everyone else. I was never allowed to sit on the counter, and in almost every video there you are sitting on the counter. It doesn't seem like a big deal but it is, the little things add up. I think fate is far more at play than you think it is. Only two could run into each other as much as you do and it's not just because you run in the same circle. Life will always draw you two together, one way or another."

"So you're saying you brought me here to convince me that I should take her back?" Clarke was more than a little stunned and she wasn't entirely sure that her brain was processing the information right.

"I asked you to dinner to make amends, as best as possible and to let you know what I see. As much as she loves you I think somewhere deep down you love her too and maybe you'll never get a happy ending together romantically I just want you to know what you mean to her. I listened to her talk about you for years and it turns out you are everything she ever said and more. I may have ended things Clarke but it's only because she's too scared to admit how she really feels, just please know that if it had come down to it, she would have chosen you. I know she messed up, scratch that, she royally fucked up but you two fit like puzzle pieces. It doesn't matter how long you've been separated in the box, you'll always fit together and no one else will ever fit quite the same way. I've come to accept that. You seem like the type to want proof so I'll give it to you. Have you been to her office?"

Clarke shook her head no. "Can't say that I have."

"Not even in LA?"

Again she shook her head 'no'. "No, I was only ever in it when Jeff had it."

"Pay her a visit, if I know anything at all, it'll prove a small point." Costia smiled as she finished the wine in her glass.

 **XOXO**

"You had dinner with who?" Octavia asked again, wide eyed, as Clarke sipped her coffee later that night.

"Costia, my mom gave her my number, she called. We talked, she said a lot and I do mean a lot."

Clarke could see the blood starting to boil within Octavia. "I swear if she tries to win Lexa back, I will…"

"One, are you two secretly dating? Two, it seems like she's over Lexa, but she thinks Lexa and I are meant to be." Clarke rolled her eyes at the last part of her sentence almost causing Octavia to spit the water out of her mouth.

"She thinks what now? This is the same Costia that had a part in sabotaging our relationship with Lexa?"

Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "More like my relationship with Lexa. I swear it should have been you I was worried about not Costia."

"Def not! I'm not down for bumping uglies with her though she is hot. Especially when she's all business woman like."

"Anyways! She basically said that she thinks Lexa is still in love with me that I won the breakup because Lexa wasn't as happy as we all thought, including what Lexa thought. She said she only took over the business because of Jeff's health issues and that it was something she struggled with."

Octavia nodded. "She does still love to lawyer people every chance she gets."

"Lawyer people?"

Octavia rolled her eyes as she flipped her hair back out of her face. "Yeah she make everyone else feel ridiculous by using their own words against them. She's very good at it."

"You have the biggest crush on her, you do realize that right?"

Octavia drank her coffee and thought for a moment. "Yeah I do, but so do you so we're even. Also Lincoln loves you so I mean, it's only fair."

"Lincoln loves me because I cook pancakes for breakfast."

"True, anyways what else did the bitch say?"

Clarke laughed. "I think we can drop that name, she was actually really nice and if I hadn't known our past I may have asked her out. She said something about proof being in Lexa's office but I do not understand that at all."

"I've been in her office and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary."

Clarke shrugged. "I don't know, it's a lot to process when your exes ex, tells you all of this."

"I guess only time will tell, but whatever it is, enjoy it. I have to go back to work now, doesn't look good when people see a cop drinking coffee." Clarke laughed as Octavia got up and gave her a hug. "Please go home and rest you're really starting to sound congested."

"Thanks mom."

"No problem. Love you honey."

Instead of responding Clarke gave her friend the middle finger as she walked out of the coffee shop.

 **XOXO**

"We all told you, you were getting sick." Clarke shook her head from where it was lying against her pillow in bed.

"No, I have to get up, I have dinner plans with Lex and I gotta go into work tonight."

Octavia raised an eyebrow and looked at the state her friend was in. She was buried under her blankets, her head barely poking out. Her nose was red, her eyes were puffy, saying she looked bad was an understatement, especially because she sounded even worse. "You aren't going anywhere. I'll call Lexa and cancel, her and I have been taking bets on how long it was going to take you to really feel the cold you've been fighting."

"Rude." Was all Clarke could manage to get out.

"You always get sick this time of year when it starts to get colder, you did a good job fighting it off but not good enough. I'll be downstairs if you need anything, just groan or something and don't worry I have my gun if you turn into a zombie."

Clarke wanted nothing more than to lift her hand and tell her friend exactly what she thought in that moment but she didn't even have enough energy to finish her thought.

 **XOXO**

Octavia smiled as she opened Clarke's front door. "Hey thanks for coming by, I don't want to leave her alone, it's hitting her pretty hard. I tried to call Fox and Monroe but they're on shift. She hasn't been this sick in a long time." Even though she was in a bit of a rush to go to work she noted exactly how Lexa's eyes opened as she scanned the room. "Have you never been up here before?"

"Can't say that I have, we haven't exactly reached that point yet. Usually I say goodnight on the steps."

"You two are so weird and totally dating, congrats. Anyways, got anything for me in that bag?" Lexa shook her head with a grin and pulled out Octavia's favourite chocolate bar, Oh Henry! "Ugh this is why I love you!" She pulled the other brunette into a quick hug before taking the chocolate and moving aside so that Lexa could walk into the room. "Stinky, I'm leaving for work now, if you need anything text me." Octavia yelled into back over her shoulder. "See, she's dead on the couch."

Lexa smiled as she watched Octavia leave and closed the door behind her. It felt so weird for her to be in Clarke's place without being invited by Clarke herself but she knew that Clarke was never a good patient. She always knew what Octavia knew, she couldn't be trusted to stay home without supervision. Even though she wouldn't perform surgeries in the state she was in, both women knew that wouldn't stop her from going in to get other work done.

She moved further into Clarke's apartment and placed the bag she was holding on the kitchen counter. Everything about the place was very Clarke. From the high ceilings to the open concept, it had structure and definition. That's when she spotted the blonde lying on her couch, the TV on just loud enough to be background noise. Shaking her head Lexa picked the back up off the counter and moved towards the living room, to set it down on the coffee table.

A half an hour later Clarke woke up to the sound of the TV. Her head still felt like it was about to explode and her body felt just as achy and bad. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed the bag on her coffee table. Lifting her hair barely off the pillow she saw Lexa, sitting on the floor, back resting against the couch.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do lunch." She croaked out, far too tired to even care if it was embarrassing or not.

Lexa turned her head with a soft smile on her face. "It's okay, I warned you about getting sick, but I brought lunch to you when you're up for eating."

"You didn't have to do that." She sniffled as Lexa turned so that she could look at her.

"It's just some soup and crackers and apple juice."

Clarke shook her head ever so slightly. "I meant you didn't have to come over here because Octavia asked."

"I came over here because you're a terrible patient and I had nothing better to do today." She smiled and instinctively her head reached up and started to gently rub up and down Clarke's back over the blanket. Clarke sniffled again, her nose clearly stuffed up.

"What else is in the bag?"

Lexa smiled as she reached her other hand over and started slowly pulling items from the bag. "Cold medicine, yes I know it makes you loopy but you need to take it. Kleenex with the Vicks in it so that it helps your nose. Vicks lotion to help you breathe, the first season of the O.C. on blu-ray and some candy for when you start to feel better. Oh and…" She reached back into the bag, "…Mr. Cuddles. I know this was the hardest part of our breakup for you, losing Mr. Cuddles."

Without thinking Clarke reached her arm out to take a hold of the small stuffed penguin. "It smells like you."

"He does sleep with me on the regular." Lexa watched as the small smile took over Clarke's face.

"That's cute."

Lexa grinned. "I see you've taken some cold medicine already."

Clarke nodded. "Octavia made me, I hate taking it, it makes me feel so stoned."

Lexa couldn't help but laugh. "Not stoned, adorable."

"If you say so."

"You must really not be feeling well if you aren't even going to attempt to argue with me." She watched Clarke shiver and her hand instantly went to the other woman's forehead. "You have a fever."

Clarke nodded as she let out a small yawn. "That does explain why I'm so cold."

"Do you want another blanket?" Lexa offered.

"No, I'm okay thank you though."

"I'm going to put the O.C. on for you and I'll be right here if you need anything."

 **XOXO**

"You're house is much nicer than the Cohen house." Clarke said as she woke up to the feeling of fingers softly brushing her hair back.

"You've mentioned that before." Lexa smiled, her fingers still absentmindedly running through Clarke's hair as the blonde's head rested on her lap.

Clarke nodded. "Thank you, for keeping me company but I don't want to keep you all night. Especially because I'll probably fall asleep again soon."

"I'm not going anywhere, and before you argue there is no other place I want to be."

Without another word Clarke closed her eyes once again with Mr. Cuddles tucked safely under her arm.

 **XOXO**

At some point, hours later Clarke woke up to the sound of her door opening. "Hey sweetie, just came to check on your during my break but it seems like you are well taken care of." Octavia couldn't help but grin at the way her two friends were cuddled on the couch. Lexa's arm was wrapped around Clarke's waist, their heads sharing Clarke's pillows.

"Shh, she's sleeping, and you're blocking the TV."

"Sorrrrryyyy." Octavia rolled her eyes. "Have you been taking your medication?"

Clarke nodded, still loopy from the meds. "Mhmm, Lexi's been making me, she's cute can we keep her?"

Octavia bit her lip in an attempt to not laugh. "I think we can keep her, at least until we find her a good home." Her answer seemed to satisfy her friend. "Don't have too much fun kids, I'm gonna head back to work. I'll text you later."

 **XOXO**

"I am so sorry I fell asleep." Lexa said as she opened her eyes and realized the position her and Clarke were in on the couch.

"It's okay, me and Mr. Cuddles have just been watching TV."

Lexa looked up over Clarke's shoulder. "I can see that, what happened to the O.C.?"

Clarke shrugged. "Grey's anatomy marathon instead. I was feeling some Callie and Arizona. The cute stuff before they go through all the crap and get divorced." Clarke coughed and Lexa decided then that it was a good time to get up.

"Grey's works for me, I'm going to make you some soup, get something in your stomach." Clarke nodded as she watched Lexa get up off the couch and walk into the kitchen. "By the way, this place is amazing."

"Thanks." Clarke sniffled again before blowing her nose. "And thanks for staying with me, I hate being alone when I'm sick."

"Yeah, I know." Lexa smiled as she walked back into the living room. "Soup is on and here is some apple juice, with a bendy straw."

"You're really pretty." Clarke let out like it was nothing before drinking some of her juice.

Lexa really couldn't help the smile on her face. She may have made fun of Clarke for saying that if it wasn't her the girls half dazed expression as she had said it. "You're really pretty too."

"Yep, I know. That's why you call me pretty girl."

Lexa laughed a little before leaning over and kissing Clarke's forehead before getting up and heading back into the kitchen.

 **XOXO**

After Clarke ate, they watched roughly four hours of Grey's anatomy before Clarke fell asleep with her head in Lexa's lap. It was then that Lexa decided the best place for the blonde was in bed. It took her a few minutes to find the courage to move off the couch before leaning down and doing her best to lift Clarke up off the couch. She slowly made her way up the steps to where she assumed Clarke's room was. Sure enough once she reached the top of the steps she saw the large bed.

She softly placed Clarke down and went back downstairs to turn off the TV and grab the woman's pillow off the couch.

"I thought you had left." Clarke mumbled once Lexa reappeared at the top of the steps.

"No, still here for now."

Clarke shook her head at Lexa's statement. "Stay. Please?" Her eyes were barely open but Lexa couldn't deny Clarke what she wanted. "You can change into my clothes. Take whatever you want." She let out another cough and rolled over as Lexa shook her head.

Ten minutes later Lexa sat on the edge of Clarke's bed as she rubbed Vicks lotion onto her back. "I'll be right downstairs okay? You're phone is on the bedside table." Once again Clarke shook her head no and patted the empty space on the bed beside her. "Okay pretty girl." With that she moved around to the other side of the bed and got in under the covers. Only to have an arm wrap around her waist and a head on her chest moments later.

"I'm sorry if I get you sick, I can go sleep over there if you want." Lexa smiled even though Clarke couldn't see it, her arms wrapping around the blonde.

"No, you're fine right where you are."

They were silent for a few minutes before Clarke finally spoke. "You think you're sneaky but I know it was you that brought everyone here for my birthday. You let Octavia take credit but I know that a lot of that was."

"How did you know that?"

A moment. "Because I know you Lexi, I always have."

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat as she tilted her head slightly and kissed the top of Clarke's head. "Get some sleep beautiful, I'll be here when you wake up." Yep. She definitely had a crush on her ex-girlfriend.

"Lex?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we're friends again, I really missed you."

"I've really missed you too Clarke." This was so them, late night honesty and confessions. This was always their time and Lexa knew she was screwed and it was the first time she thought that maybe it wasn't just an innocent crush. In that moment she made a vow to herself and to Clarke even though she knew the other girl hadn't heard her because she was fast asleep.

 **TBC…**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

 _USC – Sophomore Year_

 _"Ugh, it has been such a long day!" Clarke said as she walked into her apartment. She saw the light on in her room and smiled. "There you are." She couldn't help but take a minute to take in the sight of her girlfriend, hair curly and up in a messy bun, glasses on, laying on her bed reading her textbook. It had to be one of her favourite views._

" _Hi pretty girl." Lexa smiled once she looked up from her book to see Clarke starting to change out of her work clothes. "Did you want me to make you something to eat?"_

 _Clarke shook her head as she finished changing into her pajamas and got into bed. "No thanks, I had something at the café. I'm too tired to eat."_

 _Lexa set her book aside so that Clarke could cuddle up right next to her. Leaning over Clarke gave her a soft kiss on the lips before laying her head down on Lexa's shoulder. Once Clarke was comfortable, Lexa wrapped her arm around her girlfriends shoulder and picked her textbook back up. "How was your day, outside of being long?"_

 _Clarke smiled, her eyes closed as she got a little closer to Lexa by putting her leg half over the other woman's. "It was good but I'm more than glad to be home with my beautiful, amazing girlfriend."_

" _Always such a charmer."_

" _Don't you know it. How was your day?" Clarke turned her head slightly and kissed Lexa's neck softly._

" _Mmm, my day was good but it is so much better now."_

 _Lexa felt Clarke smile against her shoulder. "Do you mind if I turn the TV on?"_

" _Go for it love. I'll be done with this chapter soon." Lexa kissed the top of Clarke's head as the blonde turned the TV on._

 ** _xoxo_**

 _An hour later Clarke was mostly asleep on Lexa's chest. Lexa ran her fingertips up and down the blondes back and she couldn't get over how lucky she was to have Clarke in her life._

" _You are too cute." Lexa grinned as Clarke ran her fingertips over Lexa's waist. "Sweet dreams beautiful."_

" _G'night baby." Clarke mumbled and Lexa was sure that it was one of the cutest things ever. Nothing made her smile more than half asleep Clarke, mumbling in her sleep. "I love you." Clarke finished and Lexa was sure that her heart had just stopped._

 _Even though they had been together eight months, neither of them had taken the leap and said those three little words. Lexa had been scared to be the one to say it first even though she had never loved anyone more in her life. The way she felt about Clarke was unlike anything she had ever felt before._

" _I love you too." She replied with a smile, even though she was certain the blonde wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning._

 **XOXO**

New York – One Week Later

"Hi, I'm here to see Lexa Callaway." Clarke smiled at the receptionist in the lobby of the large building, very large building.

"One moment please." Clarke nodded as the receptionist picked up the phone. "Can I get your name please?"

"Clarke Griffin." The receptionist nodded.

"You'll have to check in upstairs, top floor to your left."

"Thank you." Clarke smiled again and she saw the receptionist blush a little. "I still got it." She joked to herself as she moved towards the elevators.

Once upstairs she took in the beauty of office. The walls were lined with incredible paintings and it took her a minute to draw herself away from them and towards the secretary. "Hi, Clarke Griffin here to see Lexa Callaway."

The woman nodded politely. "Please have a seat, Miss. Callaway is currently on a conference call and will be with you as soon as she can.

Clarke thanked the woman before sitting down and looking at her watch, depending on how long this was going to be she might have to leave to get to her shift on time. Thinking it through she pulled out her cell phone and sent the other woman a text message. "Hey stranger, brought you a latte and a chocolate croissant from the Marco's. _Your secretary told me on a call so I'll leave it with her, I have to get to work soon_

As she was about to get up to hand the cup and bag to the secretary the phone on the desk rang. "Hello," a pause, "yes she is." The secretary replied before putting down the phone.

"Sorry for the wait Miss. Griffin, right this way." The secretary got up as a confused look crossed Clarke's face. She followed the woman around the large wall that sat behind her desk. Once they got close enough to the door Clarke couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as she saw Lexa's name on the door. The secretary knocked softly.

"Come in." The secretary opened the door with a smile to show Lexa sitting in a large leather chair behind a desk. "Thank you Stella." The woman nodded before closing the door behind Clarke. "Well my day just got a lot better." Clarke was about to speak when she heard voices fill the room. "Don't worry, the microphone is muted, they go on like this for hours sometimes, I usually play candy crush or watch a movie. You're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you."

Clarke couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Which is why I'm here." She held up the cup and bag, smiling when she saw Lexa's eyes light up. "I figured I owed you for taking such good care of me. I know I'm a hassle when I'm sick."

"No hassle at all, but I'll still gladly accept. You're actually kind of cute when you're sick." Clarke rolled her eyes even though she was still smiling. "Please, sit. If you have time that it is."

"I do, I just wasn't sure how long your call was going to be." Lexa waved her hand as Clarke sat down and noticing the nameplate sitting on Lexa's desk. _Lexa Callaway CEO._ "Look how fancy you are."

This time it was Lexa's turn to roll her eyes. "Trust me, I'd rather not have those three little letters after name. I miss being in a court house all day."

Clarke laughed. "Only you would miss something like that."

"It's true, and you won't have to wait to see me again. Stella didn't realize you were a friend."

"You're busy, I understand that."

"Fuck sorry, one second." Lexa sat down the croissant she had just taken out of the bag and hit a button on her phone. Clarke didn't bother trying to keep up with the business jargon she was speaking, it was all a foreign language to her but what it did do is give her some time too look around Lexa's office while the woman's attention was elsewhere.

That's when she noticed it. She stood up and walked over to a painting on the wall next to a large bookcase. This piece was different than the rest in the office. It was a sailboat and Clarke knew the painting well because she had painted it. As she scanned the rest of the room she realized that ever piece of art in the room she had painted or sketched. She stopped as she stood in front of a particular piece.

"You kept them." She spoke quietly as she felt Lexa's presence standing behind her.

"Of course I did. Their by my favourite artist."

Clarke couldn't contain the smile on her face and she had to admit that there were a few stray butterflies flying around in her stomach. "And you had this one framed."

"I told you it was amazing."

"So you've always had these on your office walls?" Clarke turned to look at Lexa's expression only to see the woman slightly blushing.

It took her a minute but Lexa finally nodded in response. "Yeah, they're inspiring on rough days. This was never the career I envisioned so some days are harder than others."

"Do you really not like it?"

Lexa shrugged with a smile. "It has its days. Like today when pretty girls come to visit."

"You are a ball of cheese."

"That I am."

Clarke looked down at her watch. "I guess your day is going to get worse then. I gotta go save lives."

Lexa let out a loud laugh. "That line was so much funnier when it wasn't true but thank you again for stopping by and bringing food."

"Enjoy the rest of your day Lex and we both know that your favourite part was the food" Clarke gave her a quick hug before walking out of the room. Truth be told she still had plenty of time to get to work but the feelings of seeing her art on Lexa's walls was far too much for her to process with Lexa looking far too damn attractive in her business attire.

"You know the way to my heart." Lexa grinned as Clarke waved at her over her shoulder.

 **XOXO**

"What's with that look on your face?" Lexa asked Octavia later that night at their favourite dinner.

"I'm wondering why the hell you're still living in a hotel!"

Lexa laughed and shook her head. "I bought a place but it's not ready yet."

"So in the mean time you're just throwing your money away?"

"I'm not throwing my money away, I'm supporting our economy."

"Why don't you support my economy and move in with Lincoln and I."

Lexa shook her head. "Because I do not want to hear you and Lincoln."

Octavia rolled her eyes. "I had to listen to you and Clarke for how long? Let me tell you the things that I have heard that I can never un-hear."

"That's not a word."

"It is now. So it's settled you can have Clarke's old room."

"Octavia."

"I get it you're some big shot CEO but you look like you haven't slept in awhile, do not argue with me!" With that the woman's phone rang causing her to answer it. "Want to meet Clarke Kent for drinks, her shift was done early so she went to grab drinks with her friends from work."

"Works for me. It's been one hell of a long week."

 **XOXO**

New York – Two Weeks Later

"Holy shit." Octavia almost screamed as she sat down next to Lexa on the couch once Lexa hit the end call button on her phone.

Octavia handed the other brunette a beer as they finally relaxed after a long day of work. "What?" Lexa asked as sipped on the drink Octavia had just handed her.

Octavia looked at Lexa as if Lexa was supposed to understand what it meant. "You're totally into her."

"I beg your pardon?"

Octavia rolled her eyes. "You have a thing for Clarke, friends my ass Lex Luther, I know that look. I lived with it for years."

Lexa looked up at the ceiling. "What look?" Octavia gave her a knowing look. "Okay. yes, I have a thing for Clarke, it's just a crush though but you can't tell her."

Octavia studied her friend for a few minutes. "It's not just a crush is it? Do not lie to me Lexa or I will pick up the phone and call her so fast."

"No, it's not. I thought it was but I think I'm falling for her all over again."

Octavia moved her legs up onto the couch. "Keep talking."

"I don't know O, she's just amazing and it's hard for me to not have feelings for her. I tried not to, I tried to ignore the way my heart fluttered every time she said my name because it's my fault that we aren't together. I ruined it all so who am I to have feelings for her. I don't even know if she even remotely likes me as more than a friend and I couldn't blame her if she never looks at me the same way ever again but I miss it. I think I've always missed it. I promised myself the other night when she was sick that if she ever did change her mind about me, about us that I would do everything in my power to prove to her just how amazing she is. I would never let her go again O, never."

Octavia was shocked, it really wasn't like Lexa to open to anyone like this. "I have to admit, I'm a little stunned even though I think I've known for awhile. What's kind of ironic is that the last time I sat on this couch talking about you and Clarke's relationship she was a sobbing mess in my lap." Lexa looked down with a nod. "You shattered her heart Lexa and then walked way like it meant nothing to you."

"She meant everything to me and I know it doesn't seem that way but I've grown up a lot since the last time Clarke and I were together."

"You both have, she's always been different with you though. Now that you two are friends she seems happier and that makes me happy but I swear if you ever hurt her again it won't matter how much money your family has."

"Octavia if I ever get another chance with her I will not screw it up. The more I get to know her now the harder I fall. She's exactly who she said she's always be and I think she really is the one. I was in a relationship for three years and I never felt the way I feel about that woman now." Lexa looked up at her friend and took a deep breath. "What?"

Octavia shook her head. "I believe you. I can see it in your eyes, I thought I was going crazy the other night at the bar. I used to tell Lincoln that I wanted a love like you and Clarke's, that once in a lifetime, nothing can tear you apart love. Linc and I used to have this saying whenever we argued. What would Clarke and Lexa do? It's surprisingly gotten us through a lot of fights. I've never even said this to Clarke but from what I've seen if fate really does exist it ships the two of you."

"Ships?"

"Yeah you know it likes you as a couple."

Lexa nodded with an odd expression on her face. "Never use that term again, it's weird. Life really does have it's own plan for us though. I swear it's like no matter how hard I tried, I could never fully rid my life of Clarke Griffin."

"Ever think that it's because you weren't supposed to?"

Lexa laughed as Octavia stood up. "Yeah, every time Anya brought it up. Which was a lot."

"What brought all of this on though? You aren't exactly one to spontaneously figure your shit out." Lexa looked around the room before looking back at Octavia.

"We sort of kissed. But it's not what you think."

Octavia couldn't hold it in any longer as she burst into a fit of laughter. "Please, honey Clarke already told me. Remind me to get my money from Anya by the way cause I'm sure you told her."

"You made me go through trying to tell you that when you already knew?"

"Of course I did. Karma is a bitch that keeps on givin'. Way to go Lex, cutest second first date ever."

"It was not a date."

Octavia raised an eyebrow before nodding. "Okay, whatever you say. As if you didn't know I never check my email. Please, I'm smarter than I look."

"I hate you."

 **XOXO**

 _USC – Sophomore Year_

 _Lexa woke up the next morning with a yawn. She went to reach over and wrap her arms around her girlfriend but the girl wasn't there. Her eyes shot open and she couldn't help but wonder if Clarke had in fact remembered what she had said the night before. Getting out of bed, she threw on one of Clarke's hoodies and made her way out into the kitchen. She sighed in relief as she saw her girlfriend cooking breakfast._

" _Morning beautiful. I'm sorry I fell asleep on your last night."_

 _Lexa shook her head with a grin as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist and kissed the back of her neck. "Mmm, don't apologize you were tired, you deserve sleep babe. Gonna share any of that with me?"_

Clarke grinned and leaned back into Lexa's embrace. "I might if you're lucky. You're a little stiff this morning, did you sleep okay?"

"I slept amazing actually." Lexa grinned, trying to hide the fact that her heart was pounding as Clarke turned around in her arms and pulled herself up so that she was sitting on the counter. She placed her arms on Lexa's shoulders and leaned their foreheads together.

" _Lex?"_

" _Hmm? She smiled as Clarke kissed her._

" _I love you." Clarke grinned before kissing her again._

 _Lexa bit her own lip before lightly scratching her fingers up and down Clarke's back. "I didn't think you'd remember saying it."_

" _I was half asleep but I'll always remember the first time I told the woman of my dreams that I loved her."_

 _Lexa couldn't help the butterflies that swarmed her stomach. "I love you, so much." Another kiss._

" _You better, or I won't share my bacon with you."_

 _They both laughed as Lexa reached her hand over to turn the stove off as she leaned forward and captured her girlfriend's lips into a heated kiss. Breakfast would have to wait._

 **XOXO**

Clarke had been having a long week. Work had been hectic, for some reason once the weather got colder people lost all of their common sense. She was glad to be home, healthy and in bed. She had no desire to go anywhere tonight; it was just going to be her, netflix and a bottle of wine. The fact that it was only 4 p.m. did nothing to stop her from getting her night started early.

An hour into her movie Clarke couldn't help but feel a little restless, it had been awhile since she had relieved any sort of frustration, especially since Finn was no good at helping with that. Shrugging to herself she reached over into the bottom drawer of her nightstand, the Avengers still playing in the background.

Ten minutes later she heard her phone start ringing. She was going to ignore it, she was having 'Clarke' time and no one was going to disturb her. Especially since the last time she had tried to have 'Clarke' time she got a call from the hospital that forced her to go in, cutting her time short.

As the phone kept ringing she huffed and reached over to grab her phone. She stopped and steadied her breath before answering. "Hello." She said a little more out of breath than she would have liked.

"Hey, sorry did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Nah, you're fine Lex, what's up."

Lexa grinned on the other end of the line, she knew that sound in Clarke's voice but she didn't plan on letting Clarke know that. It was hard not too when they had been long distance for longer than either of them would have liked. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight, I got Rangers tickets."

Yep, Clarke would get out of bed for that.

 **TBC…**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 

"Hi there sleepy head." Lexa smiled as she met Clarke outside Gate 4.

Clarke smiled. "When a girl tells your she got Rangers tickets and wants you to be her date you get out of bed, sleepy or not."

"I'm glad hockey is what won you over, here I thought it was my charm and exceptional company."

"The company was a good reason too." Clarke winked as she grabbed a hold of Lexa's hand and dragged her through the crowd.

"Always such a flirt Griffin." Clarke laughed as Lexa handed over their tickets to be scanned. Once inside the warmth of the building Lexa unzipped her coat to reveal the Rangers jersey she had purchased after their game. "Beer?"

"I thought you were more into wine these days?"

It was Lexa's turn to wink. "It's a hockey game, it calls for beer!"

"Beer it is then." Clarke nodded as they walked up to the beer cart with giant smiles plastered all over their faces. "Hopefully we don't run into any of my exes tonight."

Lexa looked around as Clarke ordered their beers. "Um pretty sure one is standing right in front of you." Before Lexa could pay Clarke shoved a beer in her hand and paid the bartender.

"Ha, ha, you're so funny and the least I can do is buy the beer since you bought the tickets."

"The tickets were given to me." Lexa nodded as she sipped her beer and started walking in the direction of their section.

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Maybe but I can guarantee that you give whomever gave you the tickets something."

Lexa shrugged and tried to hide the grin on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about Griffin."

"Shut up and walk." Clarke shoved Lexa towards their seats with her friend and a shake of her head.

 **XOXO**

"Told you we'd get you to a winning game."

"Yeah but it only took one game to do that."

Lexa couldn't help but smile at the pout on Clarke's face. "Clarke Griffin! Are you using me for Rangers tickets?" Clarke nodded with another pout. "You're being insanely adorable right now." Lexa shook her head.

"Not my fault." Clarke smiled as she tried to hide the fact that butterflies were currently fluttering around in her stomach. "Besides I'm awesome company, it's a win-win."

All Lexa could do was laugh and take a hold of Clarke's hand as they weaved through the crowd. "How about a celebratory beer? I know a place."

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Oh you know a place? Look at you turning into a New Yorker." Clarke tried her best New York style accent but Lexa only laughed at her in return.

"Yes, I do. I think you'll like it. Maybe play a game of pool while we're there?"

"Lead the way beautiful."

"Miss. Callaway!" Both Lexa and Clarke heard through the crowd and it caused them both to look.

"Mr. Cage. It's nice to see you outside the office."

The older man smiled. "Likewise. I saw you through the crowd and just wanted to say hello."

Lexa smiled and Clarke couldn't help but watch in amazement, Lexa really was genuinely charming. "I'm glad you did. Clarke this is Dante, Dante this is Clarke."

Clarke extended her hand and shook Dante's with a smile. "It's very nice to meet you Mr. Cage."

"Please, call me Dante and it is very nice to meet you as well but I'll leave you two to your night. A young couple in love deserves to enjoy themselves. You remind me of me and my late wife Isabelle, it's very nice to see you so happy and settling in well Mrs. Callaway."

Lexa was about to say something when she felt Clarke squeeze her hand. "Thank you," Clarke grinned, "I hope you have a great night as well." All Lexa could do was smile until Dante walked away.

"What is with you and going with the people thinking we're dating?"

Clarke shrugged. "As soon as he said we reminded him of his late wife, I knew we had to just go with it."

"What am I supposed to do when I get a girlfriend eventually and he finds out it isn't you."

Clarke laughed as she started walking out the door. "That's your problem."

Lexa chased after her into the crowd of people that were on the sidewalk and wrapped her arms around the blonde once she caught up to her. She attempted to try and tickle her but Clarke continued to laugh causing Lexa to pick her up and spin her around as fast as she could before they almost fell over. "You're an ass."

"A nice one." Clarke winked once they both finally got their balance and breath back from laughing so hard. Lexa rolled her eyes and hailed a cab. "Nice, I'm somewhat impressed, you're getting good at that."

"I'm good at most things that involve the use of my fingers." She wiggled her eyebrows as she got into the cab, leaving the door open for Clarke who was too busy shaking her head.

"I'm not even going to comment on that." She finally replied once she slid in next to Lexa and closed the door.

"That's because you know it's true."

Clarke raised an eyebrow and stared at the woman sitting beside her. "Lets be honest here if anyone can say they're good with their fingers it's me. I am a surgeon after all and I never heard you complain."

Lexa had to admit that Clarke had her on that one but she was sure as hell going to try and win. "So what you're really saying is that you had to go to school for years on how to use your fingers, while I have natural talent and if there was an Olympic sport involving that, I'd for sure win."

"Nice try, but no. You're losing your game Callaway, must be all that sitting in an office you do instead of fighting for the rights on the people in a court of law." Lexa's mouth dropped open slightly. "I got the brains too baby, always remember that. Point team Griff."

"I hate you." This time it was Lexa's turn to pout and cross her arms, though she couldn't hold it for long because Clarke stared at her until she started laughing.

"No, no, go back to hating me and trying to be all cute."

"Trying? I'm always cute."

Five minutes later the cab pulled over to let the two women out. Clarke almost didn't notice what bar they were through their fit of continued laughter. "This is where you want to go? No one writes to the colonel?"

"I really thought it was no one writes on the colonel, which was always weird to me." Lexa said as she opened the door for Clarke. "So you know this place?"

"You could say that, best fresh mojito's ever." Clarke smiled as Lexa stood next to her in the door way as they looked around for an empty table.

"Clarke!" Both Clarke and Lexa turned their heads at the sound of the voice and Lexa watched as one of the bartenders walked over from behind the bar and wrapped her arms around Clarke.

"Hey, Kelly. How are you?" Clarke hugged her back briefly before both women let go.

"I'm good and you?"

Clarke smiled. "Really good, I just got back from L.A. not too long ago."

"I'm glad New York has you back then. I'll get you a table." Clarke nodded as the brunette walked away.

"Damn, she's beautiful who was that?" Lexa wiggled her eyebrows.

"Just a friend, I haven't seen her in awhile though, life gets busy." Clarke saw the woman wave her hand causing her to move in that direction.

"Just friends?" Lexa questioned as she followed her. "Is that why you know this place?"

"Thanks Kell, oh and this is Lexa. Lexa, Kelly."

Kelly smiled and Lexa could see why Clarke and her were friends. "Nice to meet you." Kelly said as Lexa sat down across from Clarke.

"And you as well." Lexa smiled back up at the brunette.

"Did you guys want a menu?"

Clarke and Lexa looked at each other before shaking their heads. "No thanks but we will take a couple drinks."

"Rye and ginger for you?" Kelly asked causing Clarke to smile and nod. "And for yourself gorgeous?"

"I'll have a Manhattan." Kelly nodded with a smile before walking off.

"Okay, so how many times have the two of you hooked up?" Lexa asked with a mischievous grin.

Clarke flipped her off with the shake of her head as she pulled her hair to one side. "A couple, but we really are just friends. She's great but we lost touch for awhile, life really does get in the way."

 **XOXO**

An hour later Lexa and Clarke were talking when Clarke heard a familiar voice behind her. "Lexa, I didn't see you come in tonight."

"Hi, Marcus. I snuck in a little while ago." The man moved forward and noticed that Lexa was sitting with someone.

"Clarke?" He smiled once he saw her face and all Clarke could do was blush slightly before getting up and giving the man a hug, leaving Lexa quite confused. "It's so good to see you. How are things?"

"Really good, how are things here? The place looks great."

"We did a little redecorating but I'm glad you approve and things are going well."

"So you are familiar with this place." Lexa grinned as Clarke leaned against the table.

Marcus let out a laugh. "She should be familiar with it. She used to spend enough time here."

Clarke nodded sheepishly. "So much time that Kane here offered me a job. He said if I was going to be here, I might as well make him some money bartending."

"Speaking of, since you're here, you should play something for old times sake." Marcus tried as Clarke covered her face.

"It's not even that kind of night and I don't have my guitar."

"You can use mine. Come on, for an old guy?"

Clarke looked to Lexa. "I'm not going to help you, sing away pretty girl."

"Ugh, fine."

 **XOXO**

"How's it going everyone?" Marcus said into the microphone as the crowd cheered. "We have a one night only performance tonight by an old friend. "Please give it up for the one and only Clarke Griffin."

Everyone cheered, even though the majority of people had no idea who Clarke was. Lexa couldn't help but get up and stand near the bar.

"Hey guys, I don't even know what I should play since I was throw into this." She smiled as she sat down on the stool, guitar on her lap.

"Should've been us." Someone yelled.

Clarke laughed slightly with a nod. "Okay, I think I can do that."

Sure enough with wasting another minute Clarke started strumming and people were instantly drawn in, no one new expecting that to come out of the girl wearing an oversized Ranger's jersey.

"Walking round with my head down, but I can't hide with these high heels on. Downtown in a thick crowd but it's just you that my mind is on. Dressed up, got my heart messed up. You got yours and I got mine. It's unfair that I still care and I wonder where you are tonight. Thinking it could be different, but maybe we missed it. Thinking it could be different, it could; it could. It should've been us, should've been a fire, should've been the perfect storm. Could've been the real thing, now we'll never know for sure, ooh. We were crazy, but amazing, baby we both know it should've been us." She strummed a few more chords, and dared to look up at Lexa who was standing next to the bar, her eyes locked on Clarke.

Swallowing the lump in her throat she continued. "Back and forth like a tug of war, what's it all for, do I want it back. I still got a little flame for ya even though you drove me mad. Now and then, I pretend that it's you when I close my eyes. You got yours, I got mine but I wonder where you are tonight."

Marcus looked at Clarke and then at Lexa from where he stood behind the bar and the suddenly the light bulbs went off in his head. Shaking his head with a laugh he poured a drink before sliding it towards the brunette who had come to frequent his bar. "You're her Lexa, the Lexa that broke her heart."

Lexa looked over at him and took a deep breath. "Biggest regret of my life." He nodded and looked down at the drink causing her to pick it up and finish it all.

"I take it she didn't tell you about this place?"

Lexa shook her head. "I found it on my own, but I shouldn't be surprised, life likes playing these games with us."

"Alright everyone, how about I play one more that's a little happier?" Clarke asked the crowd, bringing Lexa and Marcus out of their conversation. People started clapping so Clarke laughed, looked at Lexa with a soft smile and started strumming again. "This one is for a very special friend."

"When legs don't work when they used to before and I can't sweep you off of your feet. Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks? Darling I will be loving you til we're 70. Baby heart could still fall as hard at 23 and I'm thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways and I just wanna tell you I am. So honey now, take me into your loving arms, kiss me under the light of a thousand stars, place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud, maybe we found love right where we are." She looked up at Lexa again but this time the smile on the woman's face couldn't be missed.

 **XOXO**

Clarke walked towards Lexa once she had put the guitar down as the 90's reggae that was playing before Clarke starting playing again. "Should've been us eh?" Lexa grinned as she handed over the drink she had gotten for Clarke.

"Writing helped get some of the emotions out. That's one of the reasons I started coming here, they had an open mic night. That and I needed somewhere that didn't remind me of you because it seemed like no matter where I went, even in this giant metropolis, I was reminded of you."

"You sounded amazing and I really am sorry."

Clarke nodded. "I know, it was a long time ago so why don't we just continue living in the present?" Lexa smiled and started dancing causing Clarke to laugh slightly. "This reminds me of that night at Echo's when Anya thought she could out dance you." Clarke said as she watched Lexa throw her head back laughing at the memory.

"Yeah, that didn't turn out to well for her." Lexa looked at the people that were dancing and looked back at Clarke. "Want to dance with me?"

Clarke laughed and finished her drink before letting Lexa lead her over to the dance floor. Once they were in the midst of the rest of the crowd Lexa held Clarke's hand up and spun her around and pulled her in close so that her back was pressed up against Lexa. They're handed rested on Clarke's hips as Clarke followed Lexa's lead. Occasionally leaning her head back against Lexa's shoulder with a laugh as they continued to move to the music.

When the song changed Lexa spun Clarke around again and wrapped her arm around the blondes waist pulling her close, this time so that they were facing one another. Clarke grinned and wrapped an arm loosely around Lexa's neck as they kept dancing.

At some point Clarke felt Lexa's hand on the small of her back under her jersey and it caused her to inhale sharply. Being this close to Lexa wasn't a good thing, especially after being interrupted earlier that night. A few minutes after that she felt Lexa's leg in between her own but when she looked at Lexa it was clear the woman was just dancing.

It wasn't until she felt soft nails scrape across her back that she knew Lexa was messing with her. Her cheeks got really red as she looked at the smirk on Lexa's face. "Oh my god."

Lexa bit her lip before leaning in and placing a feather light kiss on Clarke's neck just under her jawbone. "You alright?" She whispered into her ear.

"How did you know?" Clarke dared to ask and it only caused Lexa to grin even more like a fool.

"We were in a long distance relationship, I know exactly what that sounds like. Those aren't sounds a girl ever forgets."

"You're a tease and not playing fair." Clarke grinned as she moved back slightly, her arm still around Lexa's neck.

Lexa shrugged, definitely feeling all the drinks they had had as she ran her up and down Clarke's side. "Want to get out of here?"

Clarke thought for a minute before nodding.

Once the cool air outside hit them, it seemed to sober them up slightly. It took them a minute but they finally hailed down a cab. Clarke opened the door for Lexa and got in after her. She told the driver the hotel Lexa had been staying at, not knowing that Lexa was no longer staying there.

They were quiet for most of the ride before Lexa finally had the courage to speak. "I'm not trying to step over the line but I have to be honest with you. I can't get that kiss out of my head. I know it was nothing but I still feel the way it made my lips tingle and I've been replaying it over and over again in my head since it happened."

Clarke turned her attention towards the brunette in the car as her heart starting beating faster and without thinking she closed the distance between them and crashed her lips against Lexa's.

One or both of them let of a hum of approval into the kiss as Clarke's hand came up to rest on Lexa's cheeks. They weren't entirely sure which one of them had made the noise but Clarke did know that it was Lexa's hand that was rubbing up and down her side and just like that they were thrown back into the past. Clarke hated to admit it but nothing had felt that good in a very long time.

 **TBC…**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

When the cab stopped both women found it in themselves to pull apart, long enough to get out. They barely had both feet on the sidewalk when Lexa's hand came up and cupped Clarke's cheek once again. A minute later Lexa felt Clarke pull away slightly and all they could do, with their hearts beating out of their chests, was look at one another.

"You're sure?" Was all Lexa could manage to get out.

Clarke nodded as she pulled the other woman closer. "Are you?" She got a nod in response before they entered the hotel hand in hand.

 **xoxo**

The minute Lexa pushed the room door open she turned around and rested her hand at the base of Clarke's neck before pulling them towards one another. They heard the door close behind them but neither was really paying attention. Hands were all over the place as layers of clothes started to come off and fall to the floor. This wasn't about reconnecting and taking it slow. It was about falling into the attraction that had always been ablaze between them. It was about giving in to what the universe had been trying to tell them. It was about need. They needed each other. They had been fighting each other for so long that giving in seemed to be necessary.

"Are you sure?" Clarke asked as she pulled away slightly, her hands on the belt loops of Lexa's unzipped jeans.

A nod. "I'm sure. Are you?"

Clarke nodded as she searched Lexa's eyes for anything that may suggest otherwise. "Yeah."

That was all it took for the final string to break and the floodgates to open.

 **xoxo**

"Let me apologize for interrupting you earlier." Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear as her lips went back to their assault on Clarke's neck, her hand slowly running down Clarke's naked body. Her fingertips trailed over her stomach before reaching her waist and running down her left thigh as she kissed the spot on Clarke's neck, just under her collarbone that she knew drove the blonde mad. She heard the moan escape from Clarke's lips and in that moment she realized just how much she had missed the blonde.

A part of her wanted to go slow but that wasn't what this was about. With liquid courage still running through her veins she slowly trailed her fingers back up Clarke's thigh and as she kissed the other side of Clarke's neck she left her finger slowly trail up where Clarke needed her most.

"Lex, please." That whimper was all it took for any bit of self-control that Lexa had left.

It didn't take long for Clarke to get close to what she craved most. It had been so long that the euphoria she was feeling was making her head feel fuzzy in the best possible way.

"Fuck." She rasped out as Lexa started moving her fingers faster. "I'm getting close."

She felt Lexa nod against where she was kissing her neck. In another minute she was throwing her head back, her body canting upwards. "Lexa." She let out in a moan that made the other woman lean up and kiss her deeply. Another moment later, as she came down from her high she searched Lexa's eyes once again and that was all it took for her to flip them over.

Clarke slowly kissed her way down Lexa's body. Leaving feather light kisses as she went. It may have been years since they had been together but it didn't feel like it, not in that moment. Their bodies knew the other too well and it was as if they had never been apart, the way hands grabbed at all the right places as they moved like they were one. Once Clarke got to Lexa's waist she slowly kissed across it and down both her thighs as she hands ran up and down the brunettes sides, her nails softly scraping sensitive skin as she went. She could hear the soft moans coming from above her as she looked up once last time and saw Lexa's eyes open slowly to look at her. No one else would have noticed but Clarke saw the slight nod that she was looking for before her head dipped down.

"Clarke," the sound of Lexa's voice saying her name so huskily caused her head to lean up, "I'm not gonna last very long if you keep doing that."

Clarke was tempted to continue doing it but she knew, even in the heat of passion that it had been awhile for Lexa and she so she made the call to slow it down, just a little bit. She kissed back up the woman's slender body as her fingers took over where her tongue had left off.

"Clarke, Clarke, please don't stop." Clarke couldn't help but grin at the way the woman beneath her was saying her name.

"Come for me Lexi." She purred into the brunette's ear and that was all it took. She felt the body beneath her lift up slightly as Lexa's head was thrown back against the pillow. Damn, she had missed that sight.

XOXO

Lexa woke up the next morning tangled under the blankets. It took her a minute to remember exactly where she was and how she had gotten there. Once the fuzziness of the morning wore off her eyes snapped open and she turned around in bed and realized that it was empty. She lifted her head and looked around the room to find the blonde's clothing was gone. She laid her head back down on the pillow and covered her eyes with her arm, trying to thinking of ways to apologize and make things right when there was a knock at the door.

Getting up she grabbed her over sized jersey and threw it over her head before opening the door. "Good morning Miss. Callaway, we had instructions to deliver this to you and to apologize if it woke you. Have a lovely rest of your morning." Lexa looked down at the cart and pulled it into the room.

"Thank you, and no need to apologize." She held up a finger and got something out of her purse before handing the man a fifty-dollar bill. "Have a good day." She smiled before closing the door.

Moving the tray over she sat down in bed before pulling it towards herself. Opening it up a smile instantly appeared on her face as she looked down at the pancakes. She let out a laugh as she saw the note sticking out from under the plate.

 _I am so sorry that I had to leave but I got called into work. It was an emergency or I wouldn't have left. I know they aren't my pancakes but since you don't exactly have a kitchen these will have to do. Have a good day beautiful and thank you for an amazing night._

 _xo Griffin xo_

As she read over the note for a second time she continued to feel the tingly and the butterflies in her stomach showed no signs of stopping. Yep, she was definitely far too into Clarke Griffin.

XOXO

"You didn't come home last night." Octavia wiggled her eyebrows as Lexa walked into the kitchen.

"Holy fuck, don't do that. Now I know what Clarke has always talked about." Lexa jumped slightly as Octavia keeled over laughing.

It took a minute for the laughing to subside before Octavia could continue speaking. "Please tell me you didn't work all night because I might have to kill you if you did."

"I didn't work all night mom, I just crashed at the hotel because it was closer."

Octavia gave her a look. "What do you mean at the hotel?"

"I still have my room." Lexa shrugged as she opened the fridge.

"Why?"

"Because neither of you have told Clarke that Lexa is staying in her old room." Lincoln answered as he walked through the door from his morning run. "And Lexa doesn't want to risk losing her fancy room if Clarke gets pissy. Which I told her wouldn't be a problem but no one listens to me." He rolled his eyes as he slid his arm past Lexa and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"What the fuck?!"

Lexa and Lincoln looked at Octavia and shrugged. "What?"

"How does he know all of this and I don't."

"Now you know how it feels!" Lexa laughed as Octavia moved away from the counter and went to sit in the living room.

"I don't like either of you right now." She yelled from where she sat on the couch. "She'll find out soon enough and I already told you Lex, she won't care. I just haven't seen her to tell her, but you know you could also be the one to tell her."

"Oh yeah, hey Clarke by the way I'm crashing at your best friends house."

"Sounds good enough to me." Octavia shrugged as she turned the tv on.

XOXO

Three days later Clarke groaned at the note that was left on her door. It was something about the water being turned off so construction crews could fix the water lines. All she wanted after three long days of work was to come home and take a nice hot, long bubble bath with a bottle of wine.

Showers at the hospital weren't the greatest, the water was never as hot as you wanted it to be and you were lucky if you got ten minutes before the water went cold all together. Sometimes you really just needed to enjoy a hot steamy bath to get rid of the hospital smell. As much as Clarke loved that smell, she didn't love when she smelled like it.

It didn't take her long to get the idea in her head once she walked into her apartment. She grabbed a bag and threw what she needed into it before heading out once again. Twenty minutes later she pulled her keys out of the same bag and opened the door to the dark apartment. She didn't need to turn the lights on, she knew exactly where she was headed and she could navigate the space with her eyes closed.

So in her tired haze she made her way into the familiar washroom. She set her bag down on the counter before turning the lights on and running her bath. She added the bubbles and then lit the candles that were still the way she left them in the room.

While she waited for the tub to fill she venture out into the kitchen in her cotton robe and opened the fridge. She found what she was looking for right away. Smiling she grabbed the bottle of merlot and a glass from the cupboard. She poured herself a glass before heading back to the washroom where she saw the tub half way full of water and full of bubbles. Just the way she liked it, the more bubbles the better.

She sat on the counter as she waited for the tub to fill the rest of the way before derobbing and getting in. It didn't take long for her eyes to close and she sank into the tub, glass on wine sitting on the edge. She was so relaxed that she didn't hear the front door open and shut. Even if she had she wouldn't have thought anything of it. She also didn't hear the door to her old bedroom open. She took another sip of her wine before sitting it back down.

"Holy shit I am so sorry!" Her eyes snapped open and she barely saw the fleeting form close the bathroom door.

"So much for relaxing" She said aloud but only to herself as she dried off and put her robe back on before making her way ut into the living room. "Lexa what the hell are doing here?" She half laughed as she sat her glass down on the counter.

"I sort of live here."

Clarke cocked her head to the side. "Sort of?"

"Yeah Octavia insisted I stay here while my place is being finished because she saw my hotel bill one night and said even if I was rich I was being stupid."

Clarke nodded. "So the hotel room?"

"I kept it because we hadn't gotten the chance to tell you yet." Lexa looked down at her hands, not really wanting to make eye contact with her ex.

Without another moment passing Clarke was keeled over in laughter. "Lexa," she tried to stop herself, "it's fine, more than fine. Octavia is right it's stupid of you to waste money on a hotel room, because we both know as much as you love room service, you also like actually cooking."

"You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad and you both just should have told me, it's not my room anymore and this isn't my apartment plus it isn't like you and I are on bad terms."

Lexa smiled as she looked back up and realised that Clarke was wearing nothing but a robe. Visions of their night a couple days ago flashed across her mind and she couldn't help but smile slightly. "What exactly are you doing here? In the bath?"

"Oh right, that. My water is turned off because of construction and I desperately needed a hot bath after a very long three days of work. I knew O and Linc were at work so I came over here, not that I wouldn't have if they were home either she laughed.

"In that case, go enjoy your bath, I won't barge in again."

"Oh no, it's alright I'll leave you be. I'm sure you've had a long day at work to."

"Clarke. Go enjoy your bath!" Lexa said sternly, looking Clarke dead her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure."

 **xoxo**

A half hour later Clarke heard a knock on the bathroom door and opened her eyes. "Yeah?"

The door opened just enough for her to see part of Lexa's head. "I made dinner if you're interested."

"That'd be great, thanks."

Five minutes later Clarke emerged from the washroom in a baggy sweater and yoga pants. "Sorry about the entire, I wasn't expecting company." She laughed as she sat down at the kitchen table where there was a plate of spaghtetti waiting for her.

"No need for apologies, those pants are fantastic, I should be thanking you." Lexa winked as she sat down across the table from the blonde. "Speaking of thank you's, thank you for those pancakes, not as good as yours but they hit the spot.

Clarke smiled. "No problem, anytime. I'm sorry I haven't called you but I literally haven't left the hospital since that morning. It's been crazy busy and well, you know how much I love work."

"Again, no need to apologize."

 **xoxo**

"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night? I can sleep on the couch."

Clarke shook her head. "I'm sure but thank you, for letting me use your washroom and for dinner."

Lexa laughed as she leaned against the open door. "Anytime, the room is definitely still yours, I'm just borrowing it."

"Borrow it as long as you need." They shared a smile before Clarke turned to leave.

"Clarke?" She turned back around. "We're okay right?"

Clarke smiled with a nod. "We're fine, we're two consenting adults, things don't have to get weird."

"Good, I'm glad, I was a little worried."

"No need to be, we'll just be like Jamie Foxx and blame it on the alcohol."

Lexa shook her head with the roll of her eyes. "You need to work on your jokes Griff."

"I'm hilarious and adorable thank you."

"That you are, well at least adorable."

Clarke stuck her middle finger up at Lexa as she once again started walking away. A year ago she never would have expected to be where she was but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't grateful.

XOXO

"I need to tell you something but you can not tell anyone, not even Octavia!" Clarke said as she held the phone to her ear.

"Oh shit, do I need to fly up there so we can do that thing we discussed?"

Clarke rolled her eyes at her bestfriend. "No Ray, we do not need to bury a dead body, at least not this time."

Raven laughed on the other end of the line as Clarke sat down on her couch. "Alright then what is it?" A pause. "Clarke Griffin did you sleep with Lexa?"

"How the hell could you possibly guess that?"

"You have your 'I'm talking about Lexa' voice."

"I have no such voice, thank you."

Clarke couldn't see it but she knew that her bestfriend was giving her a knowing look as she nodded her head. "You totally do, but anyways, how was it? Can I start planning the bachlorette parties again?"

Clarke groaned. "No it's not like that. It sort of just happened and I mean she's incredibly beautiful, there's no denying that."

"So what does that mean for you two?"

"Nothing, it was purely physical, I can't help but be insanely attracted to her but I just don't know where to go from here. I don't want things to be awkward between us."

"It was as good as you remember it wasn't it?"

Clarked leaned her head back on her couch. "Ugh! Yes. Better."

"Wait so you finally managed to cross the finish line?! It's been months!"

"Really Raven? Cross the finish line?" She couldn't help but laugh at her best friend.

"Answer the question."

A deep breath. "Yes I crossed the finish line, three times."

"Sounds like the only problem was that you weren't sleeping with the right person. So it's going to happen again then?"

"I don't know, we haven't talked about it."

Raven shook her head. "Maybe you shouldn't talk about it, you two and talking sucks. Maybe for once you should just let things happen."

"I'm not ready for anything though. She hurt me really bad and I'm not over that."

"I know you aren't but you're friends and you trust her. You said it yourself you're adults and adults can be there for each other without it being anything more than that."

"I don't want to be friends with benefits with my ex, that's so college."

Raven sighed. "You work hard, she works hard, you both need release sometimes. It's not friends with benefits if it happens occasionally with someone you trust. Stop over thinking it Clarke, and enjoy the ride."

"I hate you." Clarke replied as she heard Raven dying of laughter on the other end of the phone. "I'm going to bed now. Go engineer something." With that she hung up the phone contemplating what Raven had said and for once she knew the girl was right, she needed to stop over thinking everything. It wasn't like Lexa was into her like that or that the other woman would ever make a move because that was always Clarke's job. Lexa was always oblivious.

TBC… 


	33. Chapter 33

_7 Years Ago_

 _It was ten in the morning when Clarke heard the alarm clock go off in her ear. She went to reach for the thing making all that noise on her day off. It wasn't until her hand was on her alarm that she realized it wasn't going off. In her half asleep daze she rolled over and cuddled further into the pillow. She faintly heard the shower start in the background as she drifted back to sleep._

 _If she wasn't so half asleep she may have shed a couple of tears. She missed waking up with her girlfriend next to her, to her there was no better feeling than rolling over and getting as close to her girlfriend as she could. She knew that leaving had been her decision but there were days when med school wasn't worth waking up alone._

A noise in her ear made her wake up slightly once again. The sound of a kissing noise, that's what it was she realized as she heard the noise again. She tried to form a coherent word but nothing came out. "Mmm," was all she managed causing her girlfriend to laugh a little.

" _I have to leave but get some rest baby and enjoy your day off."_

" _Mhmm," so much for those words._

" _I love you."_

 _Clarke smiled as the butterflies started flying around in her stomach. "Mhmm, love you." At least that's what she hoped she had said but it was hard to really know for sure. She heard Lexa laugh and she was once again reminded why she loved the other woman so much. It was the little things like the sound of her laugh, and the way that without fail if Clarke was still in bed by the time Lexa got up she always said I love you before she left. Even if she was unsure if it was falling on deaf ears. Clarke didn't even know when it started until she was woke up once morning, she stayed silent and listened to her girlfriend get ready and that's when she had heard it for the first time. There was no better feeling than knowing just how much someone truly loves you. Especially when you catch them saying something you may or may not have been supposed to hear._

 _All she knew in the midst of being ninety percent asleep was that this, this was true love. The kind of love that is spoken about in movies and books, the kind that will last forever._

 **XOXO**

"Hello." Lexa answered her phone as she stood in line at her normal coffee shop.

"Sup fool."

Lexa rolled her eyes as she ordered her coffee. "You realize you're from Laguna right Ray?"

Raven laughed on the other end of the line. "Yeah I know, I'm channeling my inner surfer."

"And more stereotypes." Lexa laughed as she mouthed a thank you to the barista and sat down at a window seat. "What is really up Ray? Not that I don't love talking to you."

"Bitch I have been one of your best friends since preschool and I didn't dismember you when you broke my best friends heart into a million little shards, so if I want to call you at midnight for no reason at all I will."

Lexa sipped her coffee as she relaxed into the chair. "You're so sweet to me but we don't have phone chats."

"When are you going to tell Clarke you want her babies?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to say it in Spanish? I thought you were some brilliant lawyer and CEO?"

Lexa was genuinely confused for a minute but it didn't take her much longer to figure it out. "She told you."

"Of course she told me, I'm her best friend. She tells me everything, so now it's your turn. Make the move Lexa, you'll never know if you don't try."

"I don't want to ruin things, I really love having her back in my life. I really didn't realize how much I missed her. The way she smiles, the way her hair smells after she takes a shower."

"Then don't you think you've spent enough time missing out on those things? Life is too short Lex, and you've wasted far too much time.'

"I hate when you're right." Lexa was about to say something else when she saw blonde hair and a beautiful smile sit down next to her. "Sorry mom, I'm going to have to let you go."

"Tell her I say." Clarke whispered.

"Clarke says hi."

"What the hell, I thought she was at work tonight." Raven gritted her teeth, expecting to really get to lay it on thick with Lexa. "Tell her bye sweetheart."

Lexa laughed at Raven trying to imitate her mother. "Mom says bye sweetheart." Clarke smiled as she leaned back into the chair.

"Alright bye mom, love you." It was almost impossible for her to not laugh at the sound of Raven practically crying from laughter on the other end of the line so before she got caught she hung up the phone, positive that 3000 miles away one of her best friends nights had just been made. "Hi beautiful." She grinned once she put her phone down.

"Hi gorgeous. Thought I saw you sitting over here so I thought I'd at least say hi."

"I'm glad you did, definitely the highlight of my night." Clarke let out a slight laugh. "Not working tonight?"

"Surgery went better than expected, I was supposed to be done about four hours ago. You're out awfully late."

"We had some meetings with Australia and since they're about thirteen hours ahead, it means I get to stay up late. Perks of the job."

"I guess that's a good reason as to why you're the boss lady then."

"Not like I'm a good sleeper anyways." Lexa thought for a second. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"It's cold out." Clarke noted. "You hate the cold."

Lexa shrugged. "Besides we have hot coffee and each other." She winked with her signature smile as she stood up and extended her hand.

"Fine, a walk sounds good, even though I've literally been on my feet for the past fourteen hours." Clarke could see Lexa wince slightly, clearly forgetting that being at work meant Clarke was on her feet for most, if not all of her shift. "It's okay a walk actually sounds good, I could use the fresh air but if I get tired you have to promise to carry me."

Lexa laughed, the smile reappearing on her face. "As you wish."

 **XOXO**

They were enjoying their walk, gloves on, coffees in hand. Thus far that hadn't really talked about anything that held any real importance.

"I really needed the fresh night air." Clarke grinned as they continued to walk, closer than most people, which caused Clarke to entwine their arms.

"You're a breath of fresh air." Lexa hadn't really meant to say that out loud and usually Clarke would think she was joking but something in the way it had come out caused the other woman to stop walking.

"You meant that." It wasn't a question.

Lexa nodded as she looked directly at Clarke before they started walking again. "Can I be honest about something?"

"Always."

"Things are different with you, they always have been. We can do things like this and it's perfect, there's no rush. We can stay in and have really cheap greasy pizza, crack open a bottle of wine and call it a successful night. Looking back at it, something always felt off with Costia, like something was missing. That's what it was…"

"…the simple things." Clarke finished her sentence before going silent again.

"Exactly. I have a lot of money and I'm from money but you have never treated me like that, it's never been a big deal to you."

"My family isn't exactly poor either Lex."

The brunette looked up at the sky as they continued walking. "I know, but I think it's more of your lifestyle choice. We could choose to live like we had all the money in the world. We could hop on a jet right now and be in Paris for breakfast but that's not you. Costia was used to that lifestyle and it's never been who I am. Being with you, spending time with you has reminded me of how nice it is to decompress and just be without the getting fancy and going out to dinner every night. I never let myself realize how much I missed this, I didn't realize I was missing a part of myself."

"That's what friends are for."

Clarke's words stung a little bit but Lexa knew the blonde hadn't meant them like that. "I don't want to just be your friend Clarke, but if that's what you're willing to give then that is what I'm willing to take. I'm willing to take as much or as little as you're willing to give me because I know I hurt you. I hurt you in ways I can't ever take back but I can damn well try and change the future. I've wasted too much time being away from you."

Clarke's heart felt like it had stopped beating, even though her legs continued to move. They walked for sometime before Clarke finally said anything. "I'm not ready for that, I'm not sure I ever will be and I don't expect you to wait for something that may never happen."

Lexa leaned closer and kissed Clarke's temple. "I know, and I know that I don't deserve your time but I can't help but want it. You always chased after me, you always put in that little bit of extra effort, now it's my turn. No pressure, I just wanted you to know how I feel. Life brought us back together and I'm not going to waste another minute of it, even if that means I have to be your friend. If being your friend is the closest then I am going to be the best friend you ever had." Lexa smiled before leaning closer and whispering in Clarke's ear. "But please don't tell Raven or Octavia, Raven has already threatening to dismember me."

Clarke couldn't help but laugh as she heard her best friends voice in her head and exactly what her threatening Lexa would have sounded like. "Speaking of Raven, I told her two days ago that you weren't into me like that."

"I've always been into you Clarke Griffin."

"It's because I'm cute isn't it?"

"The cutest, thank you for not freaking out."

Clarke pulled Lexa's arm closer to her body. "I know how hard saying that must have been for you and I appreciate it so I'm not going to freak out. I enjoy us being honest and talking about things."

"You're amazing. Your heart astounds me and one day maybe I'll be worthy of it again but until then you should know that I have a huge crush on you but we'll take it one day at a time?"

"I'm always going to love you Lexa, but it's just different now but we all know I take life how it comes at me so whatever happens, happens.

"Deal." Part of Lexa felt like her world had just crumbled but the other part of her understood where Clarke was coming from. She wouldn't rush this, she'd do everything in her power to prove to her that she was her always and forever.

 **XOXO**

"Hey, you alright?" Octavia asked as she peered over the back of the couch as Lexa tossed her keys onto the table by the front door.

"You're up late." Lexa noted as she walked into her room.

"Just got home from work, how's my best friend?"

"I'm great." Lexa called from her room as she changed into her pajamas. The sarcasm in her tone was heavy enough to fill the entire city as she came back out into the living room and sat down next to her roommate. "I told Clarke how I feel, it went how I expected it to. Her heart is so guarded and I get it but it still hurts."

"Good, it should." A pause. "You left her without saying a single word and she didn't sit around and wait for you to come back. We were all convinced you were never coming back and then Clarke got that job in L.A. She wasn't going to take it because she didn't want to have to see you. She stopped talking about you completely, I've never seen so much pain in someone that is by all other means healthy. That kind of hurt and pain takes time, you know she's going to make you work for it without meaning too. That being said, I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. You're different around each other and not in a bad way, you do what all the great couples do."

"Which is? Lexa laughed slightly as she waited for Octavia to finish.

"Which is that you bring out the best in each other, you know each others faults, it's not perfect but it's the purest form of love I have ever seen."

Lexa sighed heavily as she let Octavia's words weigh on her conscious. "The minute I saw her in that hospital a part of me knew right then and there how badly I fucked up. I pushed her away and I deserve for her to hate me, for her to never forgive while I love her, even from a distance. Then she was there, fixing me, like she always does, she fixes everyone else but not herself and god what I wouldn't give to go back and change it all, to have never missed a minute of being with her." A few tears fell down Lexa's cheeks before Octavia's arms were around her.

"Give her time, she's stubborn but I think she'll give you another chance you just have to keep being honest, keep being her friend. I'm proud of you for telling her what you already have, for finally seeing what has always been right in front of you."

 **XOXO**

 _7 Years Ago_

" _How was class?" Lexa asked as she heard Clarke yawn. It was 2 a.m. in New York City and Lexa had no idea how Clarke was still awake._

" _It was okay." Lexa couldn't help but smile as she watched her girlfriend let out her hair and pull the blankets up to her shoulders as she got comfortable in bed. "I want to hear about your day." It was barely a mumble but Lexa thought it was the cutest thing in the world. She loved talking to her girlfriend when she was half asleep._

" _My day was good but it's much better now that I'm lying in bed with a beautiful, insanely intelligent woman."_

" _Mmm, smooth talker."_

" _Not smooth, honest." Lexa watched as Clarke's eyes closed and the smile on her face grew. "Do you want to put a movie on?"_

" _Mhmm." Was the only response Lexa got. Most people would probably be annoyed by the response but not her. She found it to be one of the cutest things Clarke did. Whenever she was really tired the only response she could utter was 'mhmm'. It said all the things she wanted to but couldn't._

" _Do you want to cuddle?"_

 _It took a minute but Clarke finally responded, "mhmm."_

 _Lexa had to hold in her laugh. "Okay baby, get some sleep, I got you."_

" _Mhmm." Lexa was now looking at a mess of blonde hair on a pillow._

" _Sweet dreams beautiful, I love you."_

" _I love you more." And there it was, one of the reasons why Lexa would choose to stay in instead of going out with friends; to hear that groggy 'I love you'._

 **XOXO**

Two hours later Lexa was staring up at the ceiling unable to fall asleep. She was startled when her phone went off and lit up the room. Yawning she figured it was something business related and was tempted to leave it but she decided she might as well work if she couldn't sleep. Reaching over she grabbed her phone off the table without looking at who the caller was. "Lexa Callaway."

"Are you always so formal in the wee hours of the morning? Or has New York already changed you."

Lexa laughed as she heard the sound of the voice on the other line. "I think it's already changing me, for the better. I'm starting to see it's beauty and why it captivates people the way it does."

"Oh is that so?"

Lexa nodded in the dark. "It is and to what do I owe the pleasure of getting to speak with a beautiful woman at this late hour?"

"You said you haven't been sleeping and I can't fall asleep. It's too cold to go for a run so I figured I'd call this girl I know. Really attractive, prettiest eyes I've ever seen."

"She sounds alright."

Clarke laughed. "She's more than alright but I really just wanted to talk to her about something, if it was alright with her."

"It is."

A long pause. "I want her to know that the past is the past and that I've put it behind me, but that I'm very much looking forward to the future. I don't know where it's going to take me or what going's to happen but I wanted her to know that I appreciate all that she's done for me these past couple months." Another pause. "I want her to know that I want to get to know her again, for whatever that may mean."

They spent the rest of the night talking until the sun finally rose in the sky once again. "I should let you get some sleep, you aren't used to being up all night."

Lexa laughed. "You're the one that deserves the rest but before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"What are you doing thanksgiving weekend?"

Clarke thought for a moment. "I think I'm on rotation and I have a work function to attend. I'm guessing you're going home?"

"No, I have a work thing myself, but did you want to do dinner at some point since I know Lincoln and Octavia are going to meet Bellamy."

"Dinner at some point, sounds lovely. I'll look forward to it. Goodnight Lexi, get some sleep."

"Goodnight Clarke."

They stayed on the line for another moment, neither saying a word. It had always felt weird to hang up on the other and clearly old habits died hard.

 **TBC…**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"Yes! We so kicked your ass!" Lexa stopped in the door of the apartment she had just entered after a long day of work when she heard the yelling. As she moved further into the apartment she saw Clarke and a familiar blonde doing their best 'Carlton'. "We totally wiped the floor with you." Clarke grinned from ear to ear as she high fived Kelly before making a face at Octavia who was sitting quietly on the sofa next to Lincoln.

"Clarke it was one game, and you always win at operation! I'd be a little scared if you didn't!"

"We. Still. Won."

Octavia looked up at Kelly. "I don't know why you're friends with her. You should have stayed gone my friend, you should have stayed gone."

Kelly laughed as she sat back down on the couch and pulled Clarke with her. "You don't understand, it may be the only thing we win all night. You know damn well how those two get!"

"You do have a point." Octavia looked over at the blonde. "Sorry, you two are a little competitive."

"Signal is next, I'm getting the cards, and you're both just as bad, tell them babe." Octavia said smacking Lincoln's leg as she got up to get the cards.

This was definitely not a conversation he wanted to get involved in. "Hey Lex, want to join us?"

It was at that moment that Clarke raised her head off of Kelly's shoulder and looked towards the kitchen. Seeing Lexa in her business attire made her grin like a fool even though she tried to cover it up. Ever since her and Lexa's conversation she had let herself start to feel things again. She let herself admire the way Lexa looked and the way she carried herself. She allowed herself to openly read the other woman and right now she could tell Lexa was tired.

"You sure?" Octavia asked again once she passed by Lexa.

"I'm sure, you guys enjoy your games, take it easy on them Griff."

Clarke laughed at the throw away comment as she watched Lexa walk away, taking a minute to watch her as she did. It was definitely a good sight, all the working out and a tight skirt certainly was something.

"Earth to Clarke, stop drooling and pay attention to the game."

 **XOXO**

Two hours later Lexa, emerged from her room. Her hair was still wet from her shower and she had traded her pencil skirt for sweat pants and an over sized hoodie. She looked over and saw Kelly standing up to leave. The bartender made sure to hook everyone before she left and offered Lexa a nice goodbye as she passed her on her way out.

"Hey Lex, we're down one if you'd like to join? Clarke is tired of getting her ass beat and we're about to play trivial pursuit."

Lexa looked over at Clarke who now sat sprawled along the couch. She really just wanted to go to bed but looking at Clarke she could see the girl was in need of some serious help. "Okay, I'm in. Move over." She laughed as she tapped Clarke's legs but the girl didn't budge. Rolling her eyes Lexa lifted Clarke's legs up before sitting down and placing them down on her lap.

"It's so on!" Clarke said, game face on, as she looked at Octavia who was sitting in front of Lincoln. "Team Cali is taking this for the West Side." As if they had planned it they both made a 'W' with their fingers.

"You two are so weird and come to think of it, the three of us haven't gone out in awhile. Don't think I haven't noticed the weird energy shift between you two."

"Babe, let's just play the game." Lincoln grinned, winking at both Lexa and Clarke without Octavia noticing.

 **XOXO**

"It's not fair, you're a lawyer and CEO and you're one your way to becoming one of the most sought after surgeons in the country." Octavia crossed her arms and moped.

"You're the one that wanted me to play." Lexa noted with a shrug as she unconsciously rubbed Clarke's leg that was still resting on her lap. They had just handedly beaten the 'power duo' as they liked to call themselves at trivial pursuit.

"One more game!"

Clarke sat up. "Name it."

"Heads Up."

Clarke tried to suppress the grin that was threatening to appear on her face. "That's not fair you and Lincoln practically have the same brain." Lexa nodded in support.

"Are you too scared? You can forfeit."

"Oh I do not forfeit Blake."

"You sucked so bad your partner left you." Octavia snarked back.

Clarke only shrug and wrapped her arm around Lexa's neck as she sat up. "That's fine, I upgraded."

"I'm telling Kelly you said that!"

Clarke laughed. "Go ahead, she'll understand I want to win, and now you have two people on a team who have known each other since they were in diapers." Once the words sunk in and realization hit, the look on Octavia's face drastically changed.

"That was a long time ago, we'll see if your past can help you. Roll to see who goes first. Losers have to clean up."

"Hope you like cleaning." Lexa grinned earning her a high five from Clarke.

 **XOXO**

"You two are cheaters!" Octavia grunted as she stood up and started cleaning up after her and Lincoln lost the last three games.

"No, we're just that good but you should have known that." Lexa grinned as her and Clarke high fived once again.

Clarke sat back on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand. Her legs were still resting on Lexa's lap and the other woman was subconsciously rubbing up and down her lower leg. "I can't help that we're both brilliant and have a common understanding."

"How the how did you guess Cinderella from the Halloween of '95?" Octavia was now pacing the kitchen as Lincoln cleaned the remnants of the board games that were sprawled on the coffee table.

Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "I was totally Cinderella that year."

"And she had this little plastic mouse that she chased me around with for half the damn night. Is it really a question why were weren't friends, how did our parents not get it." They both started laughing and Octavia couldn't do anything but shake her head.

"You're such a little shit, that is exactly why we are friends." Lincoln started nodding his head profusely.

"Living with those two was like hell! I never knew if one of them was behind a corner ready to pop out at me. Everyday was like living in a horror movie." He shook his head and shivered at the memory.

"Not my fault you stumbled into our scare sessions on occasion. I warned you before you moved in." Octavia leaned up and kissed his cheek as she helped him with the rest of the board games. "But now I'm grumpy 'cause I lost so I'm going to bed. Clarke stay here tonight and we can go get breakfast in the morning because I know if you go home and get into bed your ass is never getting up."

"It's my day off, I kind of want to sleep in my own bed."

"Good thing, it's right there in that room then!" Octavia smirked.

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "First off, that has not been my bed in years. Second, that is now Lexa's bed. Third, Lexa deserves to get a good nights sleep after a long day at work. Fourth, who the hell says I want to wake up to your face?"

"Well bitch, you don't look like you're about to move anytime soon." Octavia smirked as Clarke realized she hadn't really moved to get up in the last ten minutes since the game had been done.

"You're welcome to your bed, I did sort of high-jack your room."

Clarke shook her head. "No Octavia is right, I don't think I'm getting up anytime soon."

"Actually you are, you need to look at this dress I just bought."

"I thought you said you were going to bed?" Lincoln asked with a confused look on his face as she sat down in the lazy boy with a beer in his hand."

"That was until I realized I haven't shown Clarke the dress." He was about to ask what dress before he noticed the evil glint in his fiancé's eyes.

"Guess I'm getting up then." Clarke pulled herself up as Lexa lifted her arms so that her legs were free.

Once they were in the bedroom Octavia closed the door as Clarke sat down on the bed. "Where's this dress? I swear if you picked a wedding dress out without me!"

"I didn't, I swear."

"I know that look Blake, there is no dress is there?"

Octavia smiled. "No but there is a very big shift in your dynamic with a certain CEO. Care to explain?"

Clarke shrugged. "We've been getting along, I don't know we've always had this weird chemistry. I've told you about it a million times."

"Yeah but now I'm seeing it. She's totally into you, you know that right?"

"Yes, I know. Has she talked to you about it?"

Octavia nodded. "I pushed her to talk to you about it."

"Well she did but I really don't know where my head is at with it. I just get so drawn into her without realizing it. It's comfortable and she's really impressed me with how open she's being. Maybe she's finally grown up in a sense."

"I think she has, what happened between you two changed her a lot. Even I can see that but I know there's something you aren't telling me and when I found out, you'll pay!" Octavia grinned. "Now get the hell out of my bed, I'm going to bed before Lincoln comes in here and starts snoring."

"You're reading too much into it." Clarke said as she got up and kissed the top of Octavia's head. "Goodnight sweetheart." She grinned as she opened the door with a laugh.

 **XOXO**

An hour later Clarke opened her eyes and realized she had fallen asleep as they watched some late night crime documentary. She saw her phone sitting on the table, lighting up so she reached her arm out slowly and grabbed her phone being careful not to disturb the woman that was lying in her arms. She replied to the text before doing one more thing with her phone before putting it down.

She was so comfortable and warm that she didn't really want to move but she knew it was the right thing to do. "Hey you, time to wake up." She gently rubbed Lexa's arm and waited a minute before the woman started to stir.

"Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep on you but you're comfy and warm." Clarke couldn't help but let out a little laugh in her own half asleep daze.

"It's okay, I'm not complaining." Lexa rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she moved the blanket off herself and stood up. "Clarke?"

"Hmm?" Clarke opened her eyes again.

"Come to bed?"

She didn't show it but the sound of those words coming from that woman made her heart do jumping jacks in her chest. To be honest, she had wanting nothing else since they had fallen into bed with one another. There was always something about Lexa that helped her sleep at night and she really did need the sleep. Getting up she followed the woman into a room she knew far too well.

"Second drawer, left side?" Clarke asked as Lexa crawled into bed.

A small smile crept onto her face. "Yeah, shirts should be next to them."

Nodding Clarke grabbed what she needed and went into the washroom to change before coming back out and climbing into bed.

"Do we need a pillow wall?" Lexa mumbled with the cutest smirk on her face.

"I think we're past a pillow wall unless you want one." Clarke grinned as she turned onto her side and sleepily looked at the woman lying next to her. Without thinking she leaned over a little further and kissed Lexa's cheek softly.

"A little to the left." She grinned with her eyes closed. Clarke leaned up and kissed her again, this time on the tip of her nose. "A little lower." A kiss on the chin. "Such a smart ass." Lexa smiled with her eyes still closed. "Higher." A kiss on the forehead. "Lower but higher than the chin, lower than the nose." This time Clarke gave in and kissed her gently on the cheek, barely grazing the corner of her lips. "Stop making me want to kiss you."

"Go to sleep." Clarke grinned as she laid her head down on the pillow and lazily draped her arm across Lexa's stomach and gently rubbed up and down her side just the way she knew was the other woman's weakness.

"But I have the most beautiful woman in the world in my bed and she's so perfect."

"You know you're really cute when you're tired and those walls come down."

Lexa shook her head. "Only with you."

"Impossible."

Lexa opened her eyes. "You have been the only person that has ever put me at ease this way. That's made falling asleep easy, that's able to calm me down with a single touch. No one else has ever made me feel the way you do and in all honesty I don't think anyone ever will. The minute I saw you at the hospital, through the curtains my heart sped up and I couldn't get it to stop and I know you noticed. I thought it was because I was nervous but my body has always known what my head has failed to fully comprehend until recently. I'm mesmerized by you, that one look at you stopped the pain from hurting. One look, at you weren't even looking at me was all I needed. It brought the life back into me, even if I didn't want to admit it."

"How long did you watch me for?" Clarke smiled sleepily, loving the new information that she was getting.

A sigh. "Awhile, longer than I care to admit, longer than I should have. At first I was stunned, you were really there, you were really back. Even though I knew you had to be once I saw Octavia and then I was in awe. The way you moved with such grace as you helped an elderly gentleman and then a kid. I was so proud of you that I just wanted to get up from that bed, wrap my arms around you and spin you around because all your dreams had come true and that's all I have ever wanted for you and looking back I don't think I could have given you those things back then but I can now. I promise you."

Without another thought Clarke leaned down and kissed the woman under her softly. Their lips barely touching before she pulled away. "I want to trust you, I want to so badly, but it's going to take time."

"I'm not a patient person, you know this but for you I'd wait an eternity." Lexa's eyes were open now, her hand softly cradling Clarke's cheek. "I just want us to get to know each other again, I want to prove to you that I'm not the same person I was."

"What's so different now? We have no idea where our lives are going to take us." Lexa let out a small laugh. "What?" Clarke couldn't help but grin.

"You were always the one with those answers but this time I have it. What's different now is that I know what my life is like without you in it and I never want that to happen again. I'm a better person because of you Clarke Griffin and I'll never forget that. You helped shape the person I am and the person I want to be. I will not stop fighting for you, in whatever capacity you'll allow and I will take everything you have to give good and bad because I deserve to put the hard work in."

Another tender kiss. "You were a little jealous of Kelly weren't you?"

Lexa shook her head no. "Okay a little but not for the reasons you may think. It hits me some times, that your life didn't stop when I wasn't in it. I'm living in your world now and it takes me aback and shows me how different things are now. You had a life that I wasn't apart of and it kills me because I was a fool. You have amazing friends and an amazing career and I wasn't by your side to help you build it and other people were, so yeah it makes me a little jealous. That's what you get for being an idiot though but no matter what, it makes me so happy to see you living the life you were meant to live."

Clarke took a hold of Lexa's hand that was still resting on her check and brought it down to kiss the back of it. "Please don't leave again. I don't know where we'll end up but please don't leave again. Moving on from you was the hardest thing I've ever done and I don't want to have to do it again." She laid her head down on Lexa's chest.

"I won't leave again, I've learned my lesson. I'm just sorry you had to pay for it. You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend too and I just want to be that way again. All I ever wanted more than anything was my best friend back."

"I'm right here baby."

They laid silently after that. That is until Clarke was almost asleep and a thought popped into her head. "You look incredibly sexy when you come home from work and let your hair down, that skirt is amazing." It was barely above a whisper but that's all it needed to be. "But to be honest your after shower look has always been my favourite."

"Oh is that so?"

Clarke nodded against Lexa's shoulder. "Mhmm." That was the last word spoken for the rest of the night but every now and again as they fell asleep there were barely there kisses to the others forehead and neck. Where they went from here, neither of them knew but at least it was a step in the right direction.

 **TBC…**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

"Hey how was your Halloween?" Lexa said with a grin on her face as she approached her favourite blonde doctor in the cafe.

"Eventful, I swear people think they can actually pull off the stunts in horror movies and expect to live through them. I can't even tell you how many surgeries I've done in the past 18 hours." As if to drive her point home Clarke yawned. "You're up awfully early? Calling Tokyo again?"

Lexa smiled. "Nope."

Clarke started moving her finger as she swallowed her coffee. "You got a sugar high again didn't you?"

This time the brunette laughed. "No, I'm actually on my way home. I was at the office all night going over a case for a friend. I didn't even realize what time it was." Lexa raised her eyebrow at the look Clarke was giving her. "What? Why do you look so shocked?"

"You have friends?"

"A see your snarky side is out again and yes I have friends. Plenty of them, thank you."

Clarke nodded with a grin. "Sure you do, I thought we ditched Mr. Snookems and Daisy when you were five."

"Really, you're going to bring that up?" Clarke continued to smile. "Rude."

"Walk with me, before I fall asleep standing." Clarke said as she turned on her heels and exited the building surprised that Lexa was keeping up with her. "I see the New York style is starting rub off on you."

"That it is. Where are we walking to, isn't your place, that way?"

Clarke sipped her coffee. "That it is."

Another four blocks later. "Are you going to tell me where we're walking to exactly?" Lexa finally asked. Clarke pointed up and Lexa shook her head. "Seriously?"

"Duty calls. I'm on call still but thanks for the walk. It's nice to have some great eye candy, especially since I didn't get any of the real kind last night." Clarke winked as she backed up towards the hospital doors.

"If candy is what you want, I can definitely help you with that." Lexa grinned before winking.

"Have a good day Lex." Clarke waved over her head before she felt soft fingers brush across her wrist. "Yeah?" She turned around, her heart beating faster than it should, completely unsure of what Lexa was about to do.

"You staying home for thanksgiving?"

Clarke nodded. "Yeah I have that stupid hospital fundraiser."

"Will you come over for dinner then? I'll cook."

"What happened to all those friends of yours?"

Lexa leaned in closer, her lips brushing against Clarke's ear as she spoke. "The most beautiful one is the only one I make dinner for."

It was corny, Clarke knew it was corny but she couldn't help the butterflies that were flying around in her stomach. "Dinner sounds good so long as the football game is on!"

"It will be, J-Dude would be pissed at me if I let you miss the game." Clarke couldn't help but smile at the way Lexa still used her dad's nickname. "And remember Griffin, those little guys are on speed-dial, I can make them happen whenever I want." She winked with a laugh as Clarke rolled her eyes and walked into the hospital.

"Stupid butterflies." She mumbled as she got onto the elevator.

"Stupid what now?" Monroe asked causing her to snap her head up.

Clarke huffed. "Nothing, next time make your presence known."

"Grumpy, I guess Lexa didn't give you a quickie on your break."

Clarke laughed at her friend as she shook her head. "No she did not, ass."

"I'm just saying if it's good, I'd be getting as much as possible, especially from the hottest woman alive." Clarke looked at her friend. "What she is. Everyone is still shocked she's single. I mean all that money, no forget about the money, all that power. That's hot."

"You know damn well she's not like that."

Monroe shook her head. "Outside of work she's not like that but I saw a video of her in a courtroom and damn, girl is good."

"Yes, I know, who do you think taught her?" Clarke winked as she exited the elevator on her floor leaving Monroe alone in the elevator.

"Wait, you should totally bring her to the ball." Clarke turned to see Monroe's hand holding the elevator door open.

"One, night a ball it's a fundraiser. Two, no."

"Fine." Rolling her eyes Monroe let the door close completely this time.

 **XOXO**

Clarke knocked on the apartment door and waited. It was a weird thing to do, especially since she had her own key but it technically wasn't her place anymore, especially with Octavia and Lincoln not being home. After a minute she knocked again. Still nothing. Shaking her head with a laugh she turned the door handle and let herself in. The aroma of thanksgiving dinner hit her like a freight train, and it was the most amazing thing ever.

Walking further into the apartment she heard the familiar sounds of Lexa's vinyl record collection. More specifically her Motown collection. When she walked into the kitchen she saw Lexa swaying and humming as she stirred something on the stove, this explained why she hadn't heard her knocking at the door.

"Smells good, I didn't know when you said dinner that you meant a whole thanksgiving dinner." Clarke grinned as Lexa jumped slightly before turning around.

"Sorry I didn't hear you come in, and of course I meant a whole dinner. I wasn't skimping we aren't in college anymore."

Clarke nodded remembering their celebratory grilled cheese sandwich feasts. "I brought wine." Clarke said as she held up the very large bottle in her hand before handing it to Lexa.

"Perfect but I lost track of time so I'm going to go and change and do something with this hair. I'll be right back."

Clarke shook her head. "Leave your hair the way it is."

"You like it a crazy curly mess?" The blonde nodded. "Fine." Lexa huffed before walking into her room to change.

Five minutes later Lexa came out of her room to see Clarke sitting on the counter eating slices of bread. "If you eat it all now there won't be any left for dinner and get off the counter."

Clarke shook her head no. "As if I'm actually going to do that, this is my sitting counter, plus it gives me a great view of the chef." She winked and Lexa wanted nothing more than to go over and wrap her arms around the blonde but she knew that that wasn't where they were. At least not yet.

"Well everything is in the oven and cooking so this chef is going to sit down in front of the TV and watch the game. Kick off is in ten."

 **XOXO**

Three hours later the pair found themselves sprawled out on the couch, stuffed. "That was seriously really good. You're cooking skills have improved, not that they ever needed to but damn."

Lexa laughed as she turned into head to look at the blonde. "I'm glad you liked it, what can I say I like to cook and I haven't gotten to do it enough."

"Too busy since you moved here?"

Lexa shook her head. "Too busy before I moved here. Costia and I never really ate in much. So I didn't get to cook as much as I like but I did every now and again to distress.

Clarke nodded in understanding. "Makes sense. YES!"

"TOUCHDOWN!" They both yelled at the same time and jumped off the couch and started doing victory dances and jumping up and down.

After about five minutes of yelling in celebration they flopped back down onto the couch laughing. "He would have been proud of you Lex, my dad, he would have been proud of you."

Lexa looked over at Clarke and shook her head. "No, I hurt the one person he loved more than anything."

"We're getting past that, and you aren't the same person you were then."

"Thank you for saying that."

Clarke offered her a small smile. "You've always been a confident little shit but you're a different kind of confident now."

Lexa blushed slightly. "You're far too kind Clarke but he'd be the most proud of you for doing what you said you would despite any obstacle that's gotten in your way. I used to feel like I wasn't good enough, that I was holding you back. I guess that's one reason why I thought you had found someone else, even though deep down I knew better. You are the strongest person I have ever met and you have been the one person outside of my parents that has always been there for me, no matter what. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it all out. You were never the problem, it was me and my ego. You deserved your dream, far more than I deserved mine. I'm sorry for letting you down."

"Maybe it all happened for a reason, not that I'm okay with it happening but maybe, just maybe it went down the way it was supposed too. Maybe we had to grow up in order to grow back together."

"Always so wise."

"True, and my wisdom is telling me that we should have some more wine and relax on a night off. Especially since neither of our phones have gone off yet."

"Pumpkin pie and red wine?"

Clarke grinned as Lexa stood up. "Works for me."

A half an hour later they were a little tipsy and giggling on the couch watching the second game of the day. Clarke's head was resting in Lexa's lap, the blanket draped over her legs. "I am far too comfortable with you." Clarke said as she turned so that she could look up at the brunette.

"I feel the same way about you." Lexa couldn't help but notice that Clarke eyes kept drifting towards her lips and she couldn't help but drag fingers slowly up Clarke's arm. Clarke closed her eyes and tried to bury the desire that was building within her. "You okay Clarke?"

Clarke saw the spark in Lexa's eyes and it made it a little harder to breath. "Mhmm, I'm good." She smiled before turning her head back towards the TV.

"I don't think you are but I can help with that."

"You seem to be the only one that can." Clarke mumbled out loud even though she hadn't meant too."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, I'm going to get a drink, you want anything?"

Lexa smiled as Clarke got up. "I'm good thanks."

Two minutes later Lexa walked into the kitchen and saw Clarke drinking a glass of water. Her face looking a little flushed. "You sure you're alright?"

Clarke turned around. "Yeah, positive." She smiled even though she could see a look in Lexa's eyes that she knew all too well.

"You've had a long couple weeks, you must be stressed." Lexa's voice was husky and it was certainly not helping Clarke focus. Before she could respond Lexa took the glass of water out of her hand and lifted her onto the counter.

"Since when are you the one that makes the moves?" Clarke asked through a partial laugh as Lexa stepped between her legs and rested her hands on Clarke's legs.

"When there's a beautiful woman in front of me." Lexa grinned as she ran her hands up and down Clarke's legs. "How's your little problem been?"

Clarke narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "If you must know, it's still a problem."

"Like I said, I can help with that." Lexa's hands slid a little higher up Clarke's legs, her thumbs gently rubbing her inner thighs.

"Sounds like a better dessert than the pie, and the pie was really good." Clarke leaned her forehead against Lexa's as their lips slowly brushed.

Before things could go any further Clarke's phone rang breaking them out of their trance. They ignored it for a minute before Clarke realized whose ring tone it was. "Shit, that's Octavia, I should answer it."

Lexa nodded as she backed up to the other side of the kitchen, not trusting herself. She watched as Clarke slid off the counter and went to retrieve her phone from the living. Five minutes later, when the conversation ended Clarke walked back into the kitchen. "I should probably head out. I have a few meetings in the morning."

"You're welcome to stay."

Clarke smiled. "I know, which is why I should go."

"I'll walk you out."

"Thank you again for dinner, it was amazing. Colour me impressed." Clarke said as she slipped her shoes on as they reached the front door.

"Thank you for joining me." Lexa kissed the blondes cheek after she helped her get her coat on. "Message me when you get home?"

"Of course."

 **XOXO**

"I'm home and safe in bed." Clarke said once Lexa answered the phone.

"Good, I'm glad. Thanks again for coming over. It's a little weird not being home."

Clarke nodded even though Lexa couldn't see her. "I know the feeling, it's a big change."

"It is. I mean I could have flown down there but I don't like using the jet for personal reasons."

"Always so professional." A pause. "I better get to bed. Long day ahead of me tomorrow, meetings and then the stupid fundraiser. I'll talk to you soon though?"

"Of course, good night Griffin."

"Night Lexi."

 **XOXO**

"I can't believe you didn't invite her." Monroe chided as they sat in the limo on the way to the party.

"We're not dating, why would I ask her to come to this boring ass event."

Monroe grinned. "The princess needs her prince, well princess charming."

Fox started laughed. "She's right, plus you need to lock that up before someone else does."

"If someone else wants to, they can. I'm not going to stand in the way."

"Oh whatever, then you'd be really screwed, or actually not screwed at all since she's the only one that can help." Monroe laughed as she received a threatening look from Clarke.

"I hate you both and I don't know why we're friends."

Fox wrapped her arm around Clarke's shoulders. "It's okay, she's gorgeous and so are you. You'd be the hottest power couple ever and I mean if she's that good in bed then it's a win win."

"You two need to work on your schmoozing before we go in there. Otherwise the hospital won't get any donations out of the two of you."

"Sorry we aren't all Malibu princesses." Monroe laughed as she moved to get out of the now stopped limo.

"For the millionth time, I'm not even from Malibu!"

 **XOXO**

An hour later Clarke was talking up an older couple, a martini glass in her hand, her head tilted back laughing even though she hadn't really found the joke funny. She really didn't like having to schmooze with people to get money for the hospital but she knew that it was for the best, especially for her patients. She also happened to be very good at it. People respected her work, and found her to be charming so she used what her mother and father had given her. Talent, wit and hard work. However, she'd be much happier if she could do all of that in sweat pants rather than a ball gown, in fact she'd even settle for her scrubs.

"Good evening everyone, I hope you're all enjoying yourself thus far. I just wanted to take a moment of your time to introduce you to a remarkable woman. Please put your hands together for Miss. Lexa Callaway, CEO of the Callaway Group and a large reason as to why our hospitals continue to be successful."

Clarke's heart leapt into her throat as the spotlight landed at the top of the large staircase. Lexa was standing with her classic beautiful smile shinning brighter than the spotlight that was on her in a cream coloured gown that was adorned with perfect amount of rhinestones. Her hair was in a loose up-do, her lips were red and the diamond earrings and matching necklace completed the outfit in a way that only Lexa could pull off. The crowd continued to clap and Clarke was stuck in awe, barely able to hand onto her martini glass.

"You're all far too kind, thank you so much and thank you for having me tonight. I look forward to speaking with as many of you as possible. On behalf of the Callaway Group, we are excited to be apart of this hospital and many others in hopes that healthcare will be attainable for anyone in need of it." The crowd once again began to clap. "Now without further ado let's have an amazing night, and I look forward to seeing if New York City parties can keep up with the Los Angeles parties that I'm used too. Cheers everyone." She held up the glass of champagne that was in her hand and took a sip before the lights went back to their normal setting.

Clarke however was still transfixed on the woman that was now walking down the stairs as the sound of Frank Sinatra's voice filled the room. She watched as she moved to the bottom of the stairs and talked with a few people before she felt someone touch her arm.

"I'm so sorry I got a little sidetracked."

"You should go and speak with her, I hear she's single." The older woman she had been talking to smiled at her. "She's clearly mesmerized you, a look like that always means something."

"Maybe at some point, but I'm too busy enjoying our conversation."

The couple laughed in sync and shook their heads. "That may have been the case but now someone else deserves your attention. It was lovely speaking with you Miss. Griffin."

 **XOXO**

"Holy shit she's beautiful." Monroe quipped as she and Clarke stood against the bar. "I take it she didn't tell you she was going to be here?"

Clarke shook her head. "No, she didn't." She had tried to make her way over to her ex-girlfriend and now friend but every time she had gotten close someone either pulled her aside or Lexa got pulled aside by yet another person and Clarke never got close enough to say anything at all.

That was nearly two hours ago, so now her and Monroe were taking a breather by the corner bar. Couples were finally starting to occupy the dance floor and Clarke couldn't help but smile at all the happy faces. As much as she wasn't a fan of these fundraisers she did appreciate people having a good time.

"Excuse me, are you Clarke Griffin?" Clarke heard from behind her.

"Yes, indeed I am." And just like that her break was over and she was head first into another conversation with someone she'd probably never see again.

Twenty minutes later Clarke was still in the same conversation and she was hoping that someone, anyone would come over and save her from it. "Sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could steal Miss. Griffin away from you." Clarke didn't need to turn around to see whose voice was in the process of saving her.

"Of course Miss. Callaway." The gentleman walked away and before Clarke could turn around Lexa was standing in front of her.

"Care to dance Miss. Griffin?" She extended her hand.

"I'd love too." With that Clarke took her hand and was led towards the dance floor.

"It's quite difficult to get your attention, I've been trying for almost two hours now."

Clarke grinned as she had Lexa kept pace with the other couples on the dance floor. "Funny, I could say the same about you. You sure do know how to work a crowd, your grandfather would be impressed."

Lexa let out a small laugh as she spun Clarke around. "He'd be more impressed with the fact that I managed to get a dance with the most beautiful woman in the room."

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for jazz music and an equally beautiful woman. You knew I was going to be here tonight and yet you never mentioned you would be."

"Some surprises can be fun."

"Is that right, what other surprises are there tonight?"

Lexa grinned and Clarke knew that smile all to well, the brunette was definitely up to something. "I'd tell you but then it would no longer be a surprise."

 **XOXO**

They danced for another half an hour before they both got pulled way. "What do you say to getting out of here soon?" Lexa asked as they made their way off the dance floor.

"I'd like that."

"A half hour?"

Clarke nodded. "Works for me." They smiled at one another before turning away.

"Oh and Clarke," the blonde turned her head to look over her shoulder, "you really are the most beautiful woman in the room." Lexa's eyes were focused on hers and Clarke was sure the rest of the room faded away in that moment.

Exactly twenty minutes later, Clarke picked her clutch up off the table where Monroe and Fox were talking with some of their other colleagues. "Have you two danced like that before?" Fox asked with a sly grin.

"Yes, actually we have."

"We can tell." Monroe winked. "Leaving so soon?"

Clarke nodded. "Unlike some of you, I have to do some actual work tomorrow. Don't drink the place dry ladies." She waved a goodbye over her head as she walked away towards coat check.

When she got there she couldn't help but shake her head as she saw Lexa waiting against the wall, Clarke's coat in her hand. After helping her put it on, Lexa extended her hand once again. "Shall we?"

"Lead the way."

 **XOXO**

"Are you seriously not going to tell me where we're going?" Clarke asked from the back of Lexa's limo.

"You'll see soon enough." Lexa smiled as the city lights continued to flash by.

Sure enough, not long after the conversation Clarke was instructed to close her eyes. Lexa guided her to what seemed to be an elevator. A few short minutes later they stopped walking. "Open your eyes." Lexa whispered into her ear.

Once her eyes were opened and adjusted to the light she saw the city that had stolen her heart in a way she never had before. The large window she was looking out of was the perfect size to really allow you to capture the entire view of the city.

It took her a moment before she finally realized where Lexa had taken her. "Is this what I think it is?" She asked without turning around.

"It is." Lexa stood beside her. "I wanted you to be the first one to see the view."

"It's breath taking."

"Yes it is, like I said I understand how you fell so in love with this city." Clarke finally turned so that she was looking at Lexa. "What is it?" Lexa asked softly.

Clarke shook her head and took in a deep breath. "This is your place?" Lexa nodded and it made Clarke's feet move as she looked around the space and it wasn't until she moved back into the main room that she saw the makeshift bed on the floor. She raised her eyebrows at Lexa who laughed quietly.

"Not like that, I just thought we could unwind and watch the city for awhile after a crazy night."

"You planned this."

"I hoped for it." Lexa grinned before Clarke took her hand and pulled her close. They started dancing even though there was no music playing.

"What are we doing?" Clarke asked, unsure if she really wanted the answer.

"Living in the now."

Clarke liked that answer. "Living in the now sounds good."

Ten minutes later, Clarke was slipping off her shoes, and turning around so that Lexa could unzip the back of her dress. Ten minutes after that she felt Lexa's warm breath traveling down her stomach as she laid on the bed in the middle of the room. The snow starting to fall outside, but neither of them was paying any attention to that. They were far too focused on each other, this time it wasn't about need, it was about want. They wanted to get to know the other again, in a way no one else ever really knew them.

 **XOXO**

"What's with that smirk on your face?" Clarke asked once they were done with round three.

"This was totally a secret date." Lexa grinned as she leaned up on her elbow and looked at the woman next to her."

"It definitely wasn't a date." Lexa continued to smile. "It isn't a date if the other person doesn't agree to it."

"One day you'll realize it was totally a date."

Clarke shook her head as she looked into Lexa's eyes before closing the distance between them once again. They could argue about the finer details later.

 **TBC…**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Clarke felt terrible, so incredibly terrible as she looked back at the sleeping brunette. She had always found Lexa to be entirely too cute as she slept. Sadly duty called, and Clarke had to rush off. It wasn't that she wanted to, she really wanted to wake up next to Lexa and see how things went but apparently life was not about giving her what she wanted. She pulled her dress back on quickly got ready as quietly as she could before leaving Lexa's new condo.

A half hour later she walked into the attendings dressing room only to groan once she saw her friends getting ready. "Well, well if it isn't the Great Griffin. Seems like someone is doing the walk of shame today." Monroe laughed as Clarke walked towards her locker and started to pull her dress off and put her scrubs on. "It's not a walk of shame if you aren't ashamed of it, smart ass."

"So you and Lexa." Fox winked with a laugh as Clarke shook her head and traded her heels for a pair of running shoes.

"There is no me and Lexa, we just sometimes fall into bed together."

Monroe raised an eyebrow. "You fall into bed?" Clarke nodded. "If that's what you kids are calling it these days. Does that mean you'll finally go home to California for Christmas."

"California isn't home, this is home and it depends on my schedule."

"Bullshit Clarke, we all know you never wanted to go back to Laguna for Christmas because you didn't want to ruin it by running into your ex and her fiancé. I don't think that's an issue any longer." Fox grinned as Clarke put her hair up into a ponytail.

"I don't like either of you right now." Clarke said as she walked out of the room.

 **XOXO**

Clarke groaned as she went through her entire closet only to realize that everything she wanted to wear was dirty and she didn't have time to go out an buy a whole new wardrobe. Her washer had been broken for two weeks and for those two weeks she'd been practically living out of the hospital. Huffing she threw on her last somewhat clean pair of scrubs and threw some clothes into a bag and headed off to her old stomping ground.

A half an hour later she sat in the back of the old Laundromat on a table. She knew she should probably use a chair but they were at the front of the place and she was not. She listened to the hum of the machines as she sketched in her book. Something she hadn't had much time to do lately.

"You know they say tables are for glasses, not asses." Clarke looked up from her sketchbook and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you stalking me?"

Lexa laughed and pointed towards the washing machine she was leaning against. "No, wish I was, sounds like fun."

"Since when does a hot shot CEO do her own laundry?"

Lexa pretended to think for a minute. "Since college." Clarke couldn't help but laugh at the truth to Lexa's comment. "You know I like doing laundry. I haven't seen you here before." Lexa added.

Clarke nodded as Lexa leaned against the table next to her. "You have you just didn't know it was here. This place has had many long distance face time calls." Clarke grinned as she closed her book. "My washer broke and I haven't had time for anyone to come and fix it." Lexa nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry I haven't called, things have been insane at the hospital."

Lexa grinned and gently patted Clarke's leg. "You don't have to apologize Griff, life gets busy. I get that and but it's not going to scare me away." She looked over her shoulder and winked. "Besides I'm your in for Rangers tickets."

Clarke laughed. "That's true, I can't be getting rid of my supplier."

"Exactly."

They spent the next couple hours talking about nothing in particular. Mostly catching up on what they had been doing in the last two weeks since the fundraiser. Clarke told Lexa about some of the surgeries she'd done and the hospital gossip. Lexa told Clarke how she was getting ready to write the New York Bar so that she could practice in her spare time. Although they both laughed, knowing Lexa didn't have a whole lot of that.

"Thanks for making the night go by a lot faster. Talking to you is much better than doing paper work."

Clarke smiled as she and Lexa finished folding their laundry and putting it into their respective bags. "Likewise.

"Maybe we can do it again sometime, if your washing machine doesn't get fixed quick enough." Lexa couldn't help the butterflies that swarmed her stomach at the smile that Clarke gave her. "I feel like I'm a teenager all over again, and I kind of like it."

"Me too. Shall we?" Clarke tilted her head towards the door and waited for Lexa to follow her.

"You look really cute in scrubs by the way, you should have your washing machine break more often." Lexa smiled as she held her back over her shoulder while Clarke hailed a cab.

"Oh you like this look?" Lexa nodded as she bit the corner of her lip. "Feel free to stop by the hospital in the middle of a three day shift, you'll get this and messy bun hair."

Lexa thought about that look for a minute and was only brought out of her daze when she heard a car stop next to them. "I may take you up on that."

"Have a good night Lexa, thanks for the company." Clarke reached up slightly and placed a soft kiss on Lexa's cheek before getting into the cab.

 **XOXO**

One Week Later

"It's been forever since we've done this. I'm so excited." Monroe grinned as they the group of doctors crossed the street.

"That's because we're all working our lives away. Holy crap, we seriously haven't been here in forever!" Clarke grinned, as her body immediately started moving to the beat as they walked into the bar.

Two minutes later they all had drinks in their hand despite the fact that the bar was packed. "The music is still so good in here." Fox shouted into Clarke's ear but nodded happily as she sipped her drink.

"To having a night off!" Monroe said as she raised her glass.

"Amen!" Clarke agreed as they all took another sip of their drinks.

XOXO

"You definitely don't have it anymore. You used to be able to walk into a room and magically get hit on!"

"You're over exaggerating."

"We're definitely not, every time we went out in law school the minute you walked into a bar you got hit on. Now here, first rounds on me, we're celebrating the West Coast Commander finally making her way to New York."

Lexa laughed as she took the drink she was being handed. She had decided that it was finally time to call up some old law school friends, if she was going to be in New York she needed to start making a life of it. Clarke and Octavia were always telling her how amazing the city was at night so she decided it was time to enjoy it.

 **XOXO**

"So is crazy Clarke coming out to play tonight?" Monroe wiggled her eyebrows as the whole crowd started to jump at the songs request. "I think that answers it for me." Monroe laughed as Clarke started bouncing along with everyone else in the bar. "This is going to be good, she hasn't been out in awhile."

Clarke grinned and started to sing along with the song while she danced with some random guy. It didn't take long for her to move on and her friends could only laugh at their friend letting loose.

"I need another drink, I'm far too sober for crazy Clarke right now." She laughed once she moved back towards her friends.

 **XOXO**

"Fine, you think you still have game. Prove it. You're the relationship junkie, there's no way you still have game."

Lexa was always up for a challenge and that was exactly what that had just sounded like. "Pick anyone in this bar and I guarantee I can make something positive of it, within reason of course."

"Would we ever do you dirty?" Lexa gave her friend a look. "Never mind, of course we would but not this time."

"That one?" Her other friend motioned to the other side of the bar where a woman was talking to the bartender.

"Oh, that's a good one, maybe you two will turn out to be soul mates." They all laughed as Lexa tried to dodge out of the way of a guy she swore was eight feet tall. When he finally moved she grinned.

"The one that's talking to the bartender right?" She looked at her friends who nodded in response.

"Oh, careful she's got her girls with her, money says you can't bring her and her friends over here."

"How much we talking?"

"I got the next two rounds on it."

 **XOXO**

Clarke leaned over the bar and spoke to the bartender. She came back over with three drinks and set them on the table that her and her friends were. "What are we staring at?"

"Table of hot suits over there looking at us, actually mostly you. Should go get 'em tiger."

Monroe laughed. "Yeah except none of them are Lexa." Clarke looked over at her friends, fixed her dress and headed across the bar. "Oh shit, she's gonna do it."

 **XOXO**

Sure enough Lexa had managed to convince the women to come over for a drink. A half an hour later her friends realized she was barely into the conversation even though the woman they had initially spotted at the bar was now all over the brunette. However it was clear Lexa was barely listening to her.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." She smiled and headed towards the washroom.

On her way back upstairs she was bumped into someone. "I am way too old for this." She whispered to no one in particular. "I am so sorry." She apologized as she instinctively wrapped her arm around the woman so they both didn't fall.

The other woman turned around and Lexa couldn't help but smile. She was absolutely stunning. "Hi, I'm Lexa." She extended her hand once they both had two feet flat on the ground.

"Hi, Lexa."

"Can I get you a drink to replace the one I knocked over?"

The woman smiled. "That's alright, it wasn't your fault but thank you."

"Can I buy you a drink because I want to then?" Lexa watched the woman think it over before nodding. They smiled at the woman's friends that were standing at the table and made their way towards the bar. "Two of whatever this beautiful woman is having please."

The bartender turned his attention towards the other woman. "Manhattan please."

"Are you from here?" Lexa asked as they bartender came with their drinks.

"Not originally, but it sort of feels like I am now. Yourself?"

Lexa shook her head as she sipped the drink. "No, I'm from California."

"That's a heck of a move. For love or work?"

Lexa grinned. "A little bit of both." The woman gave her a perplexed look. "I love my job, most days. It's important to love what you do."

The woman smiled and Lexa completely forgot her friends and everyone else. "Loving what you do is important. How long have you been in the city for?"

"A few months now." They slowly moved away from the bar so that other people could move in.

"Liking it thus far?"

Lexa nodded with a smile. "Yeah it's been great actually. I've really fallen in love with it."

A knowing smile appeared on the other woman's face. "New York has a sneaky way of making you fall in love with it, and you almost never expect to."

"So how about you, love what you do?"

"Very much so. I spent a lot of time at work so I guess I must."

"I'm glad to hear that, too many people nowadays forget to be happy."

As the song changed Lexa couldn't help herself. "Do you want to dance?" She asked as she set her glass down on the table.

The woman looked over her shoulder at her friends before nodding. "Sure. I need to burn off the calories of the drinks."

This time it was Lexa's turn to laugh as they made their way to the dance floor.

 **XOXO**

A half hour later Lexa finally made her way back over to her friends who had smug looks on their faces. "What?"

"How do you manage to do that?"

Lexa shrugged. "I don't know, my charm."

"It's amazing Costia put up with you for so long."

"It really is isn't it?" At the sound of the voice Lexa turned around to see her ex-fiancé standing behind her with a glass of wine in her hand. Lexa's shocked face didn't get passed Costia. "I take it they forgot to mention I was in town."

"We were getting to that but she isn't drunk enough yet. Surprise."

Lexa shook her head at her friend as Costia gave them all brief hugs. "So what have I missed tonight?"

"We had Lexa bring us a group of hotties but then she took vanished and started talking to someone else. We're not quite sure what happened after that."

"Spitting your game are you?"

"Have you seen this dress? It does the talking for me." Lexa laughed at her own line.

"Say, Lex what happened to the mystery hottie anyways?"

"She had to step outside to make a phone call."

"Mhmm, sure she probably just needed to get away from you."

Lexa shook her head. "I don't know I think we really hit it off."

Her friends all laughed. "We'll see about that, fifty bucks she doesn't come anywhere near you for the rest of the night."

"Oh, I'm in on this. I got fifty that says you can't get a goodnight kiss."

Costia laughed. "I am so glad I got here when I did, this is going to be great."

"Seriously, you too?" Lexa looked at her ex with a shake of her head.

"This reminds me of the good ol days, except Lexa isn't running off to call her fake long distance girlfriend."

"She wasn't fake, tell them she wasn't fake please."

Costia laughed and shook her head. "Not getting in the middle of that one again."

 **XOXO**

"Don't give me that look." Clarke told her friends as she finally walked back over to their table.

"Okay Houdini."

"I thought tonight was about having fun and getting a little crazy?"

Fox nodded. "She's right, we did agree that that's what tonight was about."

"Fine, prove it." Monroe pointed to the bar and Clarke shook her head before letting her feet taking her in that direction.

 **XOXO**

"Look, phone call girl is back and headed her way." Costia turned and looked towards the bar where Lexa had gone to get the next round of drinks.

"Lexa has that look on her face, this girl may actually be trouble."

"Who knows maybe she'll get a Christmas miracle."

Costia turned to their friend that had made the original bet and shook her head. "I don't think she needs a miracle tonight Jamie, but your wallet better pray she does."

 **XOXO**

"Hey, sorry about that. Work called."

Lexa grinned. "No worries."

"Your friends sure are keeping an eye on you." The woman grinned. "Especially the one that just walked in."

"Over protective ex. My friends kind of forgot to mention she was in town for business."

"So you're all friends from back home then?"

Lexa nodded. "We went to law school together, took us awhile but by our last year we were all relatively close."

"So you're a lawyer then? Beautiful and intelligent, dangerous combination."

Lexa felt her cheeks warm. "Any holiday plans?"

The woman inhaled deeply before her smile remained. "Possibly if my schedule permits it. You? Headed home to California?"

"Yeah, I'm starting to get a little paler than I'd like and I miss my family."

"Family is important."

"It's getting a little to warm in here, do you want to step outside for some air?"

"Sure, let me grab my stuff and I'll meet you out there." Lexa nodded as the woman walked away and threw a wink over her shoulder at friends.

 **XOXO**

It didn't take long before the cold got to Lexa and her mystery woman. It caused them to stand closer together as they spoke amongst the crowd outside.

"Not getting used to the cold?"

Lexa shook her head. "I wasn't built for this weather but I'm learning to adapt."

"How come a woman like you doesn't have someone to keep her warm?"

Lexa couldn't hold in the laugh. "Because I know what I want. It took me a long time to figure it out, I've made a lot of mistakes along the way but now I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes to right my wrongs."

 **XOXO**

Twenty minutes later Costia and the rest of Lexa's friends made their way out of the bar only to stop when they saw Lexa and her mystery woman kissing under the light post like two teenagers.

"Seriously! How does she always manage to get the good looking ones?" Christine huffed as she reached into her purse and causing Lexa to pull away with a smile on her face.

"Good looking is an understatement." Jamie laughed as she too reached into her purse.

"Clarke! There you are! I swear you two just need to get together already." Monroe said as she and Fox walked out of the behind just behind Costia.

"Clarke? Why does that sound so familiar?" Jamie looked between Costia and Lexa and then at the mystery woman.

"Wait, Clarke. The fake long distance girlfriend, Clarke." Christine looked at Costia who only smiled in return. "You are real. Did you set us up?"

Lexa shook her head. "No, I had no idea she'd be here. Monroe, Fox." She nodded at Clarke's friends. "Jamie, Christine, this is Clarke. Clarke, the ladies."

Clarke smiled and shook both their hands. "It's nice to meet you all and I promise she didn't set you up but she will be taking me out to dinner since I just made her what, a hundred bucks?" She looked back at Lexa who shrugged sheepishly. "You went way back into your playbook I see."

"They started it, I only finished it."

Clarke laughed as she before moving away from Lexa. "Well ladies, it was very nice too meet you but I best be on my way. Enjoy the rest of your night." She grinned before kissing Lexa's cheek and walking away with her friends.

Costia nudged Lexa's side as they watched the blonde walk away. "What are you waiting for? You don't just make out with a beautiful woman at a bar, you walk her home." Lexa gave her ex an astonished look. "For the love of god Lexa, go before I do!"

Lexa nodded before she started walking only to stop and turn around to put her hand out. "Thanks, see you ladies tomorrow for brunch?" They all nodded before she jogged to catch up with her not so mystery woman.

"Clarke." The blonde turned around, a smile on her face. "Can I walk you home?"

"That's a bit of a far walk."

"Can I cab you home then?" They both laughed as she looked back at her friend who wiggled their eyebrows at her.

"See you at the hospital Griffin."

 **XOXO**

"I guess this is you." Lexa said as they got out of the cab and stood on Clarke's doorsteps.

"I guess it is. So do you always make out with strangers you meet in a bar?"

Lexa shook her head. "No, only the pretty ones."

Clarke rolled her eyes as she saw Lexa shiver. "The cold really isn't sitting well with you is it?"

"I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually."

"Some California sun will do you some good then, you are starting to get a little pale." Clarke joked as she took another step closer to her door.

"Are you not going back for the holidays?"

Clarke shook her head. "I was thinking about it but works been crazy lately."

Lexa nodded, somewhat disappointed. They stood on the steps looking at each other for a long minute before Lexa stepped up so that she and Clarke were on the same step. Without thinking about it anymore Lexa reached her hand up and cupped the base of Clarke's neck. Another moment later Clarke felt soft, gentle lips grazing over hers.

"Will you go on a date with me?" Lexa tried.

"Merry Christmas Lexa." Clarke smiled as she went to unlock her door.

"Clarke? Please go on a date with me, if it's terrible I promise not to ask again."

"I suppose you do owe me dinner for helping you make a hundred bucks."

"Is that a yes?" Lexa questioned as Clarke pushed her door open.

"Merry Christmas Lexie." With that she made her way inside as Lexa moved down the steps, a smile on her face. She waited a moment until she saw the windows light up in Clarke's apartment. She couldn't help but smile as she saw the outlines of a Christmas through the curtains. Maybe she would get a Christmas miracle.

Picking up her phone she quickly dialed a now familiar number. "Hello?"

"Merry Christmas Clarke." There was no response and Lexa had to check to make sure that the call hadn't ended. Another moment later Lexa saw the curtains pull back in Clarke's apartment to show the woman of her dreams standing in shorts and an oversized hoodie. It was hard to see from the glare but Lexa was positive there was a smile on the woman's face.

"Go home and get warm, before you freeze Commander and have a safe flight home."

"Don't work too hard to beautiful."

 **XOXO**

Clarke hadn't made it home for Christmas even though Lexa had hoped she would. "You're awfully quiet tonight." Elizabeth said as she stood next to her daughter in their kitchen.

"Sorry, my mind has been elsewhere."

"In New York? Wait have you met someone in New York that you're keeping from us because you've had your 'I miss someone' face since we picked you up from the airport.

"Can we just have a nice Christmas dinner please?" Lexa smiled.

"What did I miss?" Jeff asked as he entered the room and opened the fridge.

"Lex has been holding out on us. She's got a crush on someone back in New York."

Her father smiled with a nod. "Good, atta girl. Now can we eat please?" He asked as he turned back towards his wife. "Abby just got here and we're both starving after a hard days work."

Lexa watched her mother's brows furrow. "Abby is hungry or you're hungry after a long day of not working."

"Both?" He grinned as his wife playfully pushed him out of the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas Abby." Lexa greeted once she finally entered the dining room.

"Merry Christmas Lexa, it's so good to have you home." She said as she stood up to give Lexa a warm hug.

"I'm sorry Clarke wasn't able to make it home again."

Abby nodded. "Me too but she's busy, I was in her place once. I'll go out there soon for a visit and we'll celebrate then. She did call while I was in surgery, she wanted to wish everyone well."

They were halfway through their meal, the fireplace was going, the Christmas music was playing and as amazing as the meal had been Lexa's mind was 3000 miles away. It had always been tradition on Christmas Eve to have dinner with the Griffin's. In the last few years it had been Lexa's least favourite day of the year. There were too many memories, memories that couldn't be forgotten no matter how hard she had tried. She had hoped that this year things would go back to how they used to be but she was reminded yet again of just how badly she had screwed up.

The doorbell ringing made her look up from her food as she father stood up and went to get the door. "How's New York treating you Lex?" Abby asked.

"Really good, really busy. I've been staying with Octavia so that's been an adventure."

Abby laughed with a knowing nod. "I'm sure it has. Your mother was telling me your place got delayed."

"Yeah a water pipe froze and burst. Damn cold weather."

"Who was at the door Jeff?" Elizabeth asked him once he sat back down.

"Just one of the neighbours dropping off a card." Everyone nodded as they went back to eating.

"Well where is it?" Elizabeth asked. Jeff tilted his head in response with a sly smile on his face.

"I hope I'm not too late for dinner. Darn snow delayed my flight." At the sound of the new voice everyone's heads popped up.

"Clarke." Her mother jumped out of her seat and hugged her daughter who was holding a bottle of wine and a card.

"Only about six years late. Come here you." Elizabeth grinned as she too stood up from her seat and gave Clarke a big hug.

"Ladies, let the girl sit and eat."

Once Clarke sat down she finally looked at Lexa. "Hi." She smiled.

"You made it." The look on Lexa's face didn't go unnoticed by her parents and it had suddenly become very clear who Lexa's New York crush was.

"I had a break in my schedule, now someone please pass the turkey 'cause Jeff was right, I'm starving."

 **TBC…**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"I'll help you clean up." Clarke said as she watched Lexa stand up from her seat at the table and grab a few of the plates.

"It's okay Clarkey, relax, you've had a long flight." She smiled as Jeff and shook her head.

Picking up a few plates she grinned and stood next to Lexa's father. "And you're recovering from heart surgery, doctors orders, you're the one that needs to be relaxing."

He looked to his wife for support but she simply sat back in her chair with a glass of wine in her hand. He then looked to Abby who shook her head, a smile on her face. "I have to agree with Dr. Griffin, she is a medical professional."

"It sounds so fancy when you say it like that." Elizabeth said with a grin as she smiled at Clarke.

"Kind of weird right, who would have though I'd grow up to be a doctor." Clarke laughed as she started to move towards the kitchen.

"Everyone thought that, especially after you used to be Emergency Room with your stuffed animals. A little weird for an eight year old but I guess it's paid off." Lexa said as she came back for the rest of the dishes.

It didn't take long for laughter to erupt, filling the entire house. Clarke rolled her eyes and moved past Lexa into the kitchen.

Everyone was sitting in the living room watching a Christmas movie when Elizabeth finally set her eggnog down and looked over at her daughter. "So tell me more about this crush!"

Lexa looked over at her mother and shook her head. "How long have you been wanting to ask me that?"

"All night." Her mother smiled, finally admitting the truth.

"Nothing really to tell, I met her a bar, we hit it off."

Her parents shared a look that didn't go unnoticed. "How long ago was this?"

Lexa thought for a second. "A couple weeks ago, a week ago. I don't really remember but we vibed really well."

"You vibed?" Her father asked looking at Clarke for clarification.

"There was a lot of chemistry." Clarke leaned over and whispered in his ear causing him to nod in understanding.

Lexa couldn't help but smile as her parents looked back and forth at each other, then her and Clarke. "We haven't even gone on a real date yet. It's all very fresh. Speaking of, it's technically Christmas in New York, I should go call her." Lexa smiled as she stood up and walked towards her bedroom upstairs.

Elizabeth was in disbelief. "How about you Clarke, anyone special?"

Clarke smiled and she was well aware by the look Elizabeth and Jeff gave her that they knew it was someone that was making her smile the way she was. Before she could answer however, her phone buzzed in her lap pulling her attention away from the conversation at hand.

Lexa Callaway: Merry New York Christmas! Xo

Clarke grinned as she read the message and before she realized what she was doing she looked up to see everyone looking at her.

"Didn't you just meet someone at a bar?" Her mother asked, almost making her choke on her eggnog, instantly making her wish that it was stronger.

"You'll have to be more specific, I meet a lot of people at bars. Octavia and Lincoln are trying to marry me off."

"I haven't heard about this yet." Lexa smirked as she walked back into the room.

Clarke shrugged and looked down at her phone, playing it off. "Nothing to really tell, I didn't even give her my number so who knows if I'll ever see her again."

"That's kind of funny that you both met new people at bars." Her mother said with a look and Clarke instantly wished she had never told her mother about her new 'crush'.

"That's New York, you either meet at work, or at a bar."

"Can we stop talking about our love lives now? Maybe play a round of trivial pursuit or some other game while we wait for the clock to strike midnight?" Lexa offered, sensing how uncomfortable the situation was getting. In reality her and Clarke really didn't know what to say and it felt as though their relationship was new. "It's a little awkward talking about this in front of your ex." Lexa looked between her parents with begging eyes.

 **XOXO**

An hour later Elizabeth and Abby were standing at the back door watching as Lexa moved next to Clarke and handed her a cup of hot chocolate. "What do we think of their little story?" Elizabeth asked.

"I think what Lexa said is true, it is a new relationship of sorts."

"Let's face it ladies, they have no clue. Last time, they knew and we didn't. Now, we know and they're learning." Both women turned around to see Jeff smiling from where he sat on the couch. "Everyone always asks for a Christmas miracle, maybe this is ours."

"They're so stubborn." Elizabeth huffed as she moved away from the window and sat down next to her husband.

"Clarke isn't going to make this easy."

Jeff smiled knowingly. "And it shouldn't be easy, life isn't easy. Lexa made a choice, the wrong one but by some miracle she's realized it before it was too late. I have faith they'll make it work because everyone and everything in this world wants them too."

"That was really deep honey." Elizabeth tried not to laugh.

"Near death experiences give you great insight."

They heard laughter coming from behind them. "Yeah or you've been spending far too much time watching Star Wars again."

"I think they're up to something." Clarke added as she and Lexa looked at their parents.

"Me too, and I'm sorry to inform you all but Clarke and I are just friends. We've been through a lot and she's helped New York feel a little more like home. Like I said I met someone and so far she's great and I really want to give that chance." Lexa smiled as she sat down on the empty couch and turned on the television.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves." Clarke laughed as she too sat down, all the while shaking her head.

 **XOXO**

It wasn't long after that that Abby excused herself and headed home to bed. Telling Clarke she'd leave the door open for her. Shortly after that Lexa's parents headed to bed, kissing both girls on the top of the head and wishing Clarke a Merry Christmas.

"I'm pretty sure you made my parents night by showing up for dinner." Lexa smiled as both girls stood up and headed downstairs to the rec room to watch a movie so that the noise of the television didn't keep her parents awake.

"Just your parents?"

Lexa shrugged as Clarke sat down next to her. "I might have been a little happy to see you too. Home alone?"

Clarke grinned from ear to ear as she pulled her legs up onto the couch. "A long flight after a long shift for a little happy? Of course, that's tradition."

"Costia hated Home Alone and okay a little more than a little happy, I was a lot happy okay?"

Clarke nodded as Lexa pulled the blanket over both their laps as she put on the movie. "How did you survive that relationship for so long?"

"Right? How can you hate a classic?"

"For once, I agree with you. I'm going to have to rethink asking her out. I saw her at the bar, she's pretty hot." Lexa's eyes widened as she looked over at the blonde sitting next to her. "Think I have a shot?"

"What is with you two and saying you're going to ask the other out?"

"Has said she wants to ask me out? It's the lab coat isn't it?"

"She has, would you like her number? It might have been or maybe it's your eyes and the way they sparkle when you talk about something your passionate about. I thought you two hated each other and now you're going to ask each other out." Lexa shook her head. "Women!"

Clarke laughed as the movie started. They hadn't done this in years but it had been tradition ever since they were kids. It had started when they were both young, neither wanting to go to bed while their parents sat up enjoying the evening. One night Jake had put Home Alone on for them and within no time they had fallen asleep. Ever since then it had been tradition for them to watch Home Alone on Christmas Eve.

"I've missed this." Clarke said barely above a whisper as she leaned against the back of the couch.

"Me too. I really am glad you're here." Lexa put her hand out and was thankful when Clarke took a hold of it.

 **XOXO**

Two hours later Lexa woke up to the light of the television and the sound of Christmas music playing. She rubbed her eyes and looked up to see Clarke asleep, her head rested against the back of the couch. She lifted her head up off the blonde's lap and turned the television off before waking Clarke up.

"What time is it?" Clarke groaned as she slowly started to wake.

"Almost 2, Merry Christmas beautiful."

Stretching out her arms Clarke let out a yawn before both women got up. "I should probably head home."

Lexa shook her head. "Not yet." She tilted her head signaling Clarke to follow her.

They walked upstairs to a somewhat dark house except for the lights of the Christmas tree. Clarke watched as Lexa reached under the tree and pulled out a gift before handing it to her.

Taking a hold of it with a puzzled look Clarke looked down at the tag. "To Clarke, from Lexa." She read out loud before looking up at Lexa once again.

"Open it." She didn't have to be told twice. She ripped the wrapping paper off to reveal a dark brown wooden box. Unlatching it her eyes started to tear up as she ran her fingers over the engraved metal. She looked up at Lexa once again who was sitting nervously on the floor across from her. "It was supposed to be a graduation gift. I got it when you first got accepted into med school."

Clarke picked up the stethoscope and turned looked it over, her fingers ran over the engraving. _Dr. Clarke Griffin._ She still had yet to say anything and it was making Lexa a little nervous. "If you don't like it you can just…" before she could finish her sentence Lexa felt arms wrap around her neck.

"It's amazing." Clarke whispered into her ear before placing a kiss on her cheek. "So you knew I was going to make it through med school?"

Lexa smiled. "I never doubted it for a second."

"I got you something too but it's back in New York, I didn't want to fly with it so you'll have to wait to see what it is."

"You didn't have to get me anything Clarke."

"Neither did you. Wait, if you got this way back when, why did you hang onto it?" Clarke asked finally clueing in to what Lexa had said.

"I couldn't imagine getting rid of it. I knew I wanted to give it to you one day, somehow because you deserved it. I was never able to rid myself of everything that reminded me of you. I looked at it from time to time and thought about sending it to you but I could never do it. Then when I saw you that night in the E.R. I knew that I really had to give it to you. I've just been waiting for the right moment since then."

"Thank you, it really is an amazing present."

"I never stopped," Lexa paused before she continued speaking, "believing in you, I never stopped. Every Christmas Eve I've watched Home Alone, usually by myself but I watched it and every time I reached for my phone to wish you a Merry Christmas. I never thought we'd ever get to do that again and I can not tell you how happy it makes me that we were able to."

"I have too, I guess old habits really do die hard."

"That they do. What do you say we try out your present, make sure it still works?" Clarke laughed a little before putting the ear buds of the stethoscope in her ear. She held the end of Lexa's heart and listened to the beat, slow and steady. "Close your eyes." Clarke nodded and did so. A moment later she felt Lexa's lips on her own and the sound of the woman's heartbeat in her ears speed up. It caused her to smile into the kiss before Lexa pulled away. "Merry Christmas Dr. Griffin."

Without saying a word Clarke took out the ear buds and put them into Lexa's ear, holding the end over her own heart she leaned in and kissed the brunette. When Lexa smiled into the kiss Clarke knew exactly what she was hearing. "I know I'm not easy, but now you know what you do to me. No other person has ever made my heart race the way you do. Merry Christmas. Miss. Callaway, the youngest fortune 500 CEO ever."

 **XOXO**

"Merry Christmas momma." Lexa grinned as she walked into the kitchen with a stretch.

"Merry Christmas darling." Elizabeth smiled as she hugged her daughter. "Where's Clarke?"

Lexa rolled her eyes before sitting down at the island table. "Clarke is probably at home, or out with Raven. I think they used to do Christmas breakfast together." Lexa reached over the counter and grabbed the pot of coffee. "What's with all the Clarke questions? Where's my father? I want to open presents!"

"You're thirty and you're complaining about opening presents?" Her mother looked at her as she passed her a plate of pancakes. "And I'm asking about Clarke because I'd like a wedding and grandkids before I croak!"

Lexa shook her head as she poured syrup onto her pancakes before taking a bite. "Seriously, give it up. There's not going to be a wedding, at least not anytime soon and not with Clarke. I can barely get her to go on a date with me."

"Oh but you want her to?" Her mother asked as she sat down next to her.

Lexa sighed. "Yes, I want her too but that's the end of this discussion."

"Fine, I'll go get your father." Lexa shook her head as her mother walked away huffing as she went.

 **XOXO**

"It's about fucking time you came home for Christmas you bitch!" Raven hugged her best friend in a tight squeeze.

"I thought I'd make an appearance at least once this decade."

"And to think I was going to go back to Texas for work, lucky for you I decided to stay."

Clarke rolled her eyes at her best friend. "Yeah yeah, now be a good Santa and feed me!"

"Fine, but you're coming with me to Jasper's annual Christmas 'get together'." Raven laughed, using air quotes when she said get together.

"I don't know about that."

"Clarke you have too, you haven't been in years!"

Clarke shook her head. "I am so jet lagged it's not even funny."

"You will be there! Be both know your mom is going to end up at work and you'll be alone in the house dancing around in your underwear. That is no way to spend Christmas! Therefore after dinner, you will walk your ass across the street and we will go to Jasper's party!"

"You just want to see Lex and I in the same room."

Raven grinned from ear to ear with a shrug. "If she comes, she started going to Costia's parents so it's been awhile since she's been at Jasper's." Raven watched Clarke's features after realizing what she had said and to her surprise her words didn't seem to sting Clarke. "Sorry."

Clarke shook her head. "It's fine, we all have pasts. We ran into Keenan at a hockey game, that was interesting."

"What?! You didn't tell me this. Tell me that bitch said something so it gives me a reason to make the world's first DNA sensitive bomb!"

Clarke couldn't help but laugh at how worked up Raven got whenever Keenan was brought up. "She's not even worth it. It was funny, Lexa totally played it up, and the look on her face was priceless."

"This is why Lexa has always been one of my best friends, bitch knows how to put a hoe in her place."

"Outside from when you want to kill her?"

Raven thought for a second. "I'm just saying I could make it look like an accident, that's all." That's when the light finally went off in Raven's head. "You don't want to go incase Lexa is there we everyone realizes that you two have been sleeping together and asks about it!"

"Can you keep it down? I don't think the neighbours heard you. We're all old now, no one will notice, they'll be too shocked that you haven't killed her yet. They'll just be happy to see you, I promise."

 **XOXO**

"Costia, hi." Raven greeted the other woman as she gave her a hug, giving Lexa a look as she did.

"Hi Raven."

"I ran into Costia this afternoon while I was getting coffee, her parents are vacationing and she was working so I invited her."

"Always trying to be the saviour eh Callaway." Jasper grinned as he came over and handed them both drinks. "I was hoping you'd bring Clarke home with you from New York. No offense Costia."

The other woman smiled. "None taken, I'm going to go talk to Gustus."

"Don't give me that look Ray-Ray. I couldn't let her spend Christmas alone, especially after I broke her heart."

"Didn't she break up with you?"

Lexa thought for a minute. "Accurate but still, where is Clarke? I would have thought you'd have dragged her here."

"Ugh, she's being stubborn and she's scared everyone is going to realize that you're banging each other again."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Who's banging who?" Jasper wiggled his eyebrows as he walked back inside. "You and Costia trying again? Because I was kind of hoping you and Clarke would magically work things out. Plus I wouldn't mind a shot at Costia, if it was alright with you."

Lexa, Raven and Anya who had caught the end of his sentence, all started laughing. "None of us are banging, though you may have to work a little harder with Costia, I think she has a thing for Clarke."

"What!" Lexa held a straight a face even though Anya and Raven both had to hold back their laughter. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Hey Cos," the woman turned around across the room and looked at Lexa, "didn't you tell me not too long ago that you had the hots for Clarke."

Without hesitation Costia started nodding. "It's the lab coat I swear."

"Guess I should have worn that then." They all turned towards the doorway to see Monty taking Clarke's coat from her.

Lexa laughed as she saw Costia's cheeks blush red. "Clarke's HOME!" Jasper yelled before anyone else could say a thing before he ran over and hugged her.

"Merry Christmas." Clarke grinned and held up a bag before handing it to him.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Only if you think it's a big bottle of moon shine."

Monty and Jasper both hugged her again. "You know us so well."

She laughed as they finally let her go, only to be engulfed in another hug by Gustus. "Merry Christmas Clarke." He said as he spun her around.

"Honey, put her down please." Anya laughed as she too gave Clarke a hug. "It's about time bitch face."

"Love you too slut but seriously Raven can you put something other than Christmas music on. Had I known you were all listening to the same Christmas cd still, I wouldn't have come."

"Are you not going to give her a hug?" Echo asked as she nudged Lexa.

"I see her from time to time, so seeing her now, isn't a big deal." Echo squinted her eyes as she tried to read Lexa but she said nothing.

 **xoxo**

Two hours later Raven had finally managed to get rid of the cd Jasper had been playing. It wasn't long after that that Echo had dragged Anya and Raven onto the dance floor. Clarke was busy talking with some old friends and no one really knew where Lexa had disappeared too.

Smiling at her old friend Clarke looked up long enough to see Lexa walking over to her. Once their eyes locked Clarke couldn't help but laugh as Lexa started dancing and mouthing the words. "Mind if I cut in?" Lexa asked once she was close enough, the other woman smiled and walked away. "Come on Griff, where are those elusive moves. The song is asking for you to give me the tightest hold of my life."

"Shut up." Clarke laughed as she moved closer to Lexa and started dancing with her without realizing that they would end up with an audience.

Across the room Raven and Anya were watching their friends laugh and dance. "It's like the last few years never happened."

Raven shook her head. "I think the last few years made them like this. They're different, this time around."

"Yeah because this time it's Clarke that's clueless." Echo chirped in as she threw an arm around Anya's shoulder.

"I think they're both clueless but Lexa is giving Clarke her signature 'I'm totally into Clarke Griffin look'." They all laughed before realizing that neither of them had made the comment. Turning they saw Costia smiling at them. "Sorry couldn't resist, but I get it, they are cute couple."

"So you're not…" Anya trailed off as she watched Costia's expression.

"…jealous? No, not at all. It sucks but Lexa and I were never meant to be."

 **xoxo**

"You're not freaked that she brought Costia?" Anya asked as she and Clarke stood next to the keg that was decorated with Christmas lights.

Clarke shook her head. "No, she texted me and gave me a heads up."

"She said you two were talking and Octavia told me about you two hanging out, anything else I should know?"

"No, New York can be a scary city, plus she gets me free hockey tickets." Anya watched Clarke's eyes and nodded. She waited to see if her stare would drift over to where Lexa was talking to Echo but it never did. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Are you two secretly dating again?"

Clarke nearly spit out her drink. "No, we are not secretly dating, I promise."

"So you're just secretly having no strings attached sex then?" Before Clarke could say anything Anya grinned. "Holy fuck, I was kidding! You two hooked up!" If it weren't for the loud music Clarke was sure the whole room would have heard her.

"It's happened, once or twice." Anya gave her a look. "Okay, like three times. It really isn't anything more than that, and we've always been kind of drunk. How the fuck do you always know?"

Anya laughed. "She's had a certain glow since she got home, I suspected but you also have the same glow."

"And what glow is that?" Clarke questioning, really not understanding how her friends always knew.

"The I've been having really great orgasms glow. You only get it with each other. I just wasn't sure about the dating thing, but it's very clear you definitely aren't dating. Lexa wants to though she keeps giving you heart eyes."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "She doesn't."

Anya laughed with a nod finding the role reversal far funnier than it probably was.

 **xoxo**

"How long have you and Clarke been getting horizontal?"

"Excuse me?" Lexa asked with the shake of her head.

Echo looked at her like she was an idiot. "You heard me, how long have you been having sex with Clarke?"

"We aren't…" Echo gave her a look. "Okay, we have but not often and not all romantic, it's a lot of pent up energy."

"But you'd like it to be?"

Lexa closed her eyes with a smile. "You have no idea."

"So the sex is good then?" Echo wiggled her eyebrows.

"You have no idea." Lexa grinned.

"Interesting. You hurt her again Lexa, and I'll kill you!"

Lexa looked at her friend like she had three heads. "I thought you were my friend first?"

"Yeah and I don't want to deal with mopey you again! So you're not dating though?"

"We're not dating." If it weren't for the sad look that Lexa tried to hide Echo would have told her she was full of it but seeing that look it was clear that Lexa was telling the truth. "Maybe one day I'll get a miracle."

Echo gave her friend a hug. "I hope so too, I need to see that wedding happen if it's the last thing I do."

"With Clarke's stubbornness and my idiocy, it may just be the last thing you see." Lexa laughed.

Xoxo

"I just had a half hour conversation with Anya about our sex life, we apparently have glows. Raven was all come, they won't notice." Clarke rolled her eyes as she and Lexa stood talking after finally breaking away from their respective conversations.

"Ugh, I know. I just had the same conversation with E. I feel as though I should get restraining orders, before it's creepy how much they know but looking at us that I'm starting to wonder if they just follow us around."

"I wouldn't put it passed them."

Before they could continue their conversation Monty walked over to them and pointed up without saying another word. "What do you say? Lexa asked. "It is tradition after all."

"I don't know I was kind of thinking I should drag Costia over here." Lexa rolled her eyes. "She really does think you're hot but she isn't as good a kisser as me."

"Oh yeah?" Lexa nodded. "Hmm," Clarke leaned up slightly and gently kissed Lexa. "I suppose you're pretty good at that."

Lexa opened her mouth to make a comment but before she could they heard a crowd of 'awws'. "Seriously! Fuck off." She finally managed to laugh out as she gave Raven and Anya the middle finger.

"Told you hanging that mistletoe there would pay off." Jasper said to Raven as her patted himself on the back. "Your welcome." He said to the room that was still full of guests even though no one was really paying attention to him.

 **XOXO**

"Thank you for walking me home." Clarke smiled as they stopped at her front door.

"Anytime, but I was really just protecting the neighbourhood hot tubs from the bubble bath assassin."

Clarke laughed. "It was one time." She unlocked the door before pushing it open and taking a step forward.

"When are you going back to New York?" Lexa asked as she stood just outside the door as Clarke slipped off her shoes.

"Day after tomorrow. I need to go back to work and Octavia and I have New Years plans. If you're back by then you should definitely come. We get hot chocolate and go watch the ball drop and talk about all sorts of cheesy things."

"You had me at cheesy things." Lexa smiled as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Clarke's cheek. "So about that date?"

Clarke shook her head. "Not til we're back in New York. That's who we are now, all of this is who we were and who we were didn't work out so well the last time."

"When we're back in New York then." They both smiled. "Merry Christmas Clarke."

"Merry Christmas Lexie."

 **TBC…**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"It's nice." Anya said after taking a sip of her coffee.

"What is?" Clarke asked more than slightly confused.

Anya laughed with the shake of her head. "You and Lex being friends."

Clarke's eyes widened a little. "It's not like that, I mean we are friends but that's it."

"Friends who occasionally sleep together."

Clarke sighed. "Once in awhile but it's not, we're not, she's not…"

"I'm sure you're both not, but what if you are?"

"I'm not sure I want to think about it any differently. I don't know what I'm ready to put my heart back out there. Anya she crushed me, and we both know that is not something I have ever let people do. It took me a long time to be okay, and now that I am I don't know if I want to risk it."

Anya smiled. "Here's a little secret for you. She's never been okay, not since the day it happened, that is until now. Clarkester I haven't seen her this at peace in a long time."

Clarke smiled. "New York can do that to you. As fast paced as it is, it's an amazing city for helping someone find themselves."

"Keep telling yourself that, maybe one day we'll both believe it. Better yet maybe one day, you'll tell me that I was right."

"You're loving this a little too much." Clarke informed her friend as she pushed her sunglasses back down from atop her head.

XOXO

"So you and Clarke?" Elizabeth smiled at her daughter from across the table in the restaurant.

"There is no me and Clarke mom."

Her mother nodded. "Not yet, but there will be and when there is, if you break her heart again Lexa, I will not be happy."

Lexa smiled with the shake of her head. "I swear she is more your daughter sometimes than I am. What if I don't end up with Clarke, what if I end up with someone else entirely."

"Then your father and I will support your decision."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "But you'll support it more if it's Clarke."

Her mother nodded. "She makes you happy Lexa, in a way no one else ever has, as a parent that makes me happier than anything else."

"Is that why you were always indifferent with Costia."

"I wasn't indifferent."

Lexa gave her mother a look. "I tried sweetie, I really tried but I knew how upset Clarke was and then I saw her start to move on and I missed her. Her and I stopped talking as much, she distanced herself from us because we reminded her of you. Costia is truly lovely but she never brought the pure joy out of you. Your eyes never lit up when she walked into the room. I'm not saying you didn't love her Lexie, I'm saying she wasn't the one."

"And you think Clarke is?"

"I think we both know Clarke is." Without meaning to her lips turned up into a smile and she knew she couldn't deny it.

"It might be too late for us but I'm going to try my hardest to prove to her that I'm not the girl I was then. I've grown up, she's grown up, our lives are different now but when we're together the feeling is the same." A pause. "No, it's better, it's so much better mom. I appreciate how hard she's worked to get where she is. I'm proud of her for following her dreams and now deep down all I feel is joy, not some hidden place of resentment that she left."

Her mother smiled at her and put a hand a top hers. "I hate to be the one to tell you this but this world has always known that. I'm just glad that you're finally figuring it."

"I'm taking her on a date when we get back to New York." Lexa finally spit out, causing her mother to put down her fork and smile at her triumphantly.

"You know I love you Lexa but you better not fuck this up." Was all her mother said, nearly causing her to spit her food out of her mouth.

XOXO

"I need help, I don't know what the hell she means by a New York date?!" Lexa huffed as she sat down across from Octavia at the dinner.

Octavia shook her head. "She says I'm not allowed to help, but you're thinking about this too hard. How did you manage to ask her out the first time."

"She sort of handled most of that."

"Okay." She paused and had some more of her waffles. "How did you manage to be a 'player' then?"

Lexa huffed as she pushed her briefcase across the seat so she could get comfortable. "It's always been easy with other girls, with Clarke, I get like this!"

Octavia laughed. "No wonder you freaked out when you were going to propose, you're a wreck now."

Lexa looked at her room mate and shook her head. "I really need my place to hurry up so I no longer have to live with you!"

"What's wrong with living with her? I miss living with her." Clarke smiled as she pushed Octavia over and slid into the booth next to her.

"See, at least someone loves me." Octavia said through a mouthful of food before Clarke grabbed her fork and took a piece of her waffle for herself.

"Women!" Lexa huffed.

"You're still in scrubs." Octavia pointed out as Clarke unzipped her jacket.

"Thanks tips, it's really a wonder how any criminal activity happens on your watch. I'm just taking a quick break then I have to get back to the hospital, hence the scrubs." Lexa could only sit there and smile as she took in Clarke's appearance. She truly did love when the other woman was in scrubs, her hair up in a messy bun. Maybe it was because she remembered when the blonde used to study in sweats and a messy bun and now she was living her dream in almost the same fashion. "So let's order some food because I am so hungry!"

XOXO

"Hey, thank you so much for coming. I definitely owe you now since I had to rush out on New Years, which by the way Octavia is furious about, and rushing out on dinner the other day but I wanted you to see why." Clarke smiled as she met Lexa in one of the hospitals many lobbies.

"It's okay." Lexa smiled. "I understand being busy at work and what work means to you, no need to apologize."

Clarke couldn't help but blush slightly. It wasn't that Lexa had said something overly romantic, it was that she could tell that she got it and that meant more to Clarke than anything. Lexa understood work, she understood her in a way no one else really did.

"Follow me." She said as she led Lexa towards the elevator, a giant smile on her face.

The elevator didn't stop until they got to the tenth floor. Once the door opened, Lexa's eyes widened. She had never been on this floor of the hospital, with it's bright colours and kids roaming the halls.

"Welcome to peds." Clarke said as they exited the elevator.

Lexa kept quiet as the she watched the kids wave hi to Dr. Griff. Lexa was in awe at the way Clarke seemed to own the whole floor with how she walked it and the way all the nurses lit up when they saw her.

"I thought peds was your least favourite?" Lexa whispered into her ear once they stopped outside a door. She remembered vividly the long nights of Clarke explaining to her in detail how much and why she didn't like pediatrics.

Clarke shrugged. "Funny you should say that actually. A couple years ago, I was in the E.R. when this little girl came in and she sort of changed the way I viewed it. Which brings me to why I asked you to come by." Clarke knocked softly on the door before opening it to reveal a little girl no older than seven lying in bed. A stuffed turtle tucked securely under her arm. "Hey Charlotte, how's it hanging today?"

The little girl turned her head away from the television and smiled as she sat up in bed to give Clarke a giant hug. "Not too bad, just watching the waves."

"Oh yeah, where are we watching today?"

"Huntington Beach, in California." The little girl smiled before realizing that Lexa was standing in the doorway.

"Charlotte, this is Lexa. Lexa this is Charlotte."

"O-M-G you're Lexa Callaway! Dr. Griff how do you know Lexa Callaway? She's like the most amazing woman in the world." Clarke feigned hurt for a moment. "Except you of course, since you're putting me back together and all."

"You know who I am?" Lexa questioned as she moved closer only to find several business magazines sitting on the table by the girls bed. "Do you understand these?"

"Not really but Dr. Griff helps me sometimes, she said her friend used to explain it to her." It was in that moment that realization struck the girl. "You're her friend? You're friends with Lexa Callaway, the Lexa Callaway."

Clarke could only laugh. "I didn't realize I was so popular." Lexa let out as she pulled a chair closer to the girls bed.

"Lexa and I grew up together," Clarke couldn't help but smile over at Lexa, "Charlie here is going to be a big CEO someday."

"Really? Should I be worried about my job?" Lexa joked as she looked back at Charlotte.

Charlotte nodded and sat up a little straighter. "And I'm going to be a pro surfer just like Kelly Slater. Do you know how to surf?"

Lexa nodded. "I do, I'm from not too far from Huntington Beach, have you ever heard of Laguna Beach?" Again the girl nodded. "That's where we're from, I used to get up and surf every morning."

"Every morning?"

"Every morning, but you have to get up really early to catch the best waves."

Charlotte smiled as Clarke continued to watch the exchange. "You mean like 8 am?"

Chuckling, Lexa shook her head no. "8 am? All the good waves would for sure be gone by then. I used to get up at 4 in the morning, and I was on the beach ten minutes later."

The little girls face looked shocked. "The sun isn't even up yet at that time!"

"Nope, just me and the waves. Do you know how to surf?"

"No, but one day. Do you know how to surf Clarke?"

Clarke shook her head as she looked back at her little patient. "I've tried but it's not really my thing. Lexa is really good though."

"Are you two dating or what?" The question caught them both off guard, neither expecting them conversation to take that turn.

"No we're not dating." Clarke shook her head.

Charlotte shrugged and leaned back. "Why not?" She looked over at Lexa as if she was going to give her the best answer. "Clarke is really pretty and she's putting me back together like Frankenstein."

"Getting a new heart is nothing like Frankenstein ya goon." Clarke laughed, saving Lexa from having to answer the question. "How about you ask some business questions while I check on some of our other patients."

"Seriously? You'll answer some questions."

Lexa nodded. "Absolutely, what do you want to know?"

With that Clarke got up and exited room, mouthing a thank you over her shoulder at Lexa would smiled before turning her attention back towards Charlotte. "I'll call you later." Clarke threw over her shoulder as she closed the door behind herself.

XOXO

Later that night Lexa was lying awake in bed, staring at a ceiling she had come to memorize many years ago. A smile crept over her face as she started to remember all the times she would lie awake in this very bed. Not because she couldn't sleep but because she wanted to remember the moments of holding her girlfriend close and listening as her breath evened out.

"Fuck it." She said out loud even though she hadn't meant too. Rolling over she climbed out of bed and put some warmer clothes on.

It took her twenty minutes but there she stood, her hand knocking on Clarke's door. It took another five minutes for the door to open.

"Lexa, what the hell?" Clarke asked as she tried to rid herself of the sleepy daze she was in.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Clarke waved her hand. "It's okay, are you alright?"

"I'm good."

A pause and a nod. "Do you want to come in?" Lexa shook her head no. "Not that I'm complaining but if you're okay and you don't want to come in why are you knocking on my door at eleven o'clock at night?"

Lexa blushed slightly, thankful that the rosey complexion of her cheeks thanks to the cold hid it. "Will you go on a date with me, whenever your next available night is?"

"You came all this way to ask me out on a date, I've already agreed too?" Lexa took a deep breath and nodded. She could tell Clarke was thinking and she had never been so nervous in all her life.

"I want to take you on a New York date, I want to get to know you in a romantic way again. I want to do it here in New York City, under the lights and the noise and more than anything I want to prove myself to you. Spending time with that little girl today was amazing, and all it did was make me want to take out even more. You're amazing Clarke Griffin and I want to do right by you."

Clarke chuckled in only the way she could after Lexa rambled on. "You couldn't have called and asked that?" Lexa again shook her head no. "Thursday night, I'm free Thursday night."

"I'll pick you up at six." Lexa grinned as she moved back down the stairs, nearly slipping on the icy steps. "Should get some salt down on these bad boys." She chuckled nervously.

Clarke just nodded with a laugh as she watched Lexa start to walk down the street before walking back inside to the warmth of her bed.

XOXO

"I am so sorry, I'm terrible, I'm probably the worst date you've ever had already!" Clarke let out in a sigh as she walked up to Lexa outside the Ninth Street subway station.

All Lexa could do was laugh as she held her jacket close to her chest. The cold weather really wasn't sitting well with her, especially as it got increasingly colder. "It's okay, really. I only got here about five minutes ago myself. I was rushing to get out the door when you messaged me, I suppose we're both terrible at this." She saw the blonde in her cute little knitted hat relax.

"So where are we off to?"

"Always so impatient Griffin." Lexa grinned and put her arm out for Clarke to take a hold of. "How was work?"

"It was a good day, you?"

"Long, very long." They both laughed knowing all too well about those days. Once Clarke had a hold of Lexa's arm they started walking.

They walked for five minutes before Clarke realized where they were. "The Guggenheim! Really?" Lexa looked over at Clarke's smiling face as she held the door open for her.

"When you first moved here I remember you telling me how much you wanted to take the day off and come but that you were always so busy. I'm sure you've been since then but I thought you could explain this stuff to me and it's a good way to stay warm."

Clarke smiled from ear to ear and grabbed a hold of Lexa's arm again, dragging her further into the building.

XOXO

"That was amazing, and I can't believe you got reservations for the restaurant." Clarke beamed as they put their coats back on.

"I was hoping you had time for one more thing." Clarke looked over at the brunette standing next to her with a questioning look.

Twenty minutes later Clarke found herself walking through Central Park, her nose pink from the cold. She still wasn't sure what they were doing at the park but she trusted Lexa and so far their date had been really good.

"No, seriously?!" She asked once she saw exactly what they had been walking towards. Lexa nodded. "I haven't been able to go all year."

"Let's go rent us some skates then."

 **xoxo**

"Please don't laugh at me too much when I fall on my ass multiple times."

Clarke laughed as she and Lexa stepped onto the ice. "This is amazing so I promise not to laugh. There's nothing like skating on a beautiful night." Clarke started to skate and Lexa attempted to keep up with her. She had been skating few times but she was more of a non-frozen water child.

"Can't we be all cute and hold hands while we do this?" Lexa tried with a smile.

"You surf all the time, you should be able to balance yourself on a flat surface."

Lexa stood still, hands on her hips. Clarke rolled her eyes before moving back towards the other woman and taking her arm once again.

xoxo

"Charlotte, she's why you came back to New York?"

Clarke nodded. "I like to see things through, and to be honest I feel more comfortable here."

"It's your home now, that makes sense."

Clarke was about to say something more but stopped herself. "I suppose so. I feel like I grew up here, became a woman here, it has a special place in my heart."

"It looks good on you."

"What does?"

"New York. It suits you, not that Laguna doesn't."

Turning around and skating backwards in front of Lexa, Clarke took the brunettes mitted hands in her own. "It suits you too. Bad ass Lexa Callaway, CEO of a fortune 500 company, kicking ass and taking names."

Lexa smiled as she watched it start to snow, a single flake landing on the tip of Clarke's nose. Without hesitation she leaned forward and kissed it softly causing Clarke to crinkle her nose.

They spent another hour skating, even though they couldn't really feel their toes. Just as they were about to leave, a group of teenagers sped by them knocking Lexa off balance. Before they knew what happened they found themselves on the ice. They started to laugh as they realized just how close their bodies were pressed together, with Clarke breaking Lexa's fall.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I should really have better balance considering everything."

"It's nothing." They were still on the ice causing Clarke to groan. "You know I enjoy having you on top of me, but it's cold down here."

Realization crossed Lexa's face. "Shit, sorry." Lexa stood up before helping Clarke up.

XOXO

"What?" Lexa asked as she caught Clarke looking over at her during their cab ride home.

"Nothing, I was just admiring."

"Admiring?"

A breath. "You have changed, but you're still the person that has always made me feel like a little school girl."

"I feel the same way about you."

A few mintues later they found themselves standing on Clarke's doorstep. "Thank you for tonight." Lexa whispered as she moved in to hug the blonde.

"No, thank you. Tonight was absolutely perfect and I almost wish I would have agreed to this date sooner."

"You agreed to it exactly when you were meant too, you had to take your time but I would really like to take you out again sometime."

"I'd like that." Lexa smiled before sniffing slightly. "I should let you go before you freeze out here, you're going to get sick, that coat isn't nearly warm enough."

"Goodnight Clarke."

"Goodnight Lexie."

They let go of each other's hands as Lexa moved down the stairs and pulled her coat closer to her chest. Turning her head she saw Clarke pushed her door open and in a split second decision she raced up the stairs and put her hand out on the door as it was about to close.

Clarke opened the door and before she could speak Lexa took her glove off and softly took a hold of side of Clarke's neck. Leaning forward she kissed her, still standing on the doorstep as the snow fell, while Clarke stood under the protection of her doorframe. They kissed for a long moment before Lexa finally pulled back.

The blonde stood speechless as she watched the snow start to cover Lexa's head. A million things crossed her mind in that moment. Reaching out she took a hold of Lexa's hand and pulled her inside the warmth of her apartment.

TBC…


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

"What about your rule?" Lexa grinned as Clarke pulled her further into her place.

Clarke winked before dropping Lexa's hand and walking up the stairs to her bedroom. "Which rule would that be? I have a lot of them?" She called downstairs as Lexa sat down on the couch.

"The one about no sex on first dates." Lexa called back before she saw Clarke limping down the stairs. Without waiting she jumped off the couch and towards the blonde, meeting her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Technically it's our second first date." Clarke laughed as she waved Lexa's helping arm away.

"Are you okay? Sit down and let me take a look at that."

Rolling her eyes but being to tired to argue Clarke sat down on the couch and let Lexa kneel in front of her to inspect her ankle.

"It looks a little swollen, I'm going to go get some ice and pillows so we can prop it up! Why didn't you tell me you hurt it?!"

Clarke laughed as she watched Lexa roam around her kitchen for ice. "It wasn't a big deal and it didn't start hurting until we got back here, I guess I was too cold to really feel it. Oh and Lex, the ice pack is in the freezer." When Lexa walked back over Clarke had an amused look on her face as the CEO attempted to prop her foot up on the couch. "Lex?"

"Yeah?" The brunette finally looked up at her.

"Put it under my ankle, that's where the pain is."

Lexa huffed. "Clarke, who's the doctor here?" It took a minute for Lexa to realize what she had just said, it used to be her go to line when she was taking care of Clarke. Once realization dawned on her she looked up to see the massive smirk on the blonde's face.

"I think that's me, actually. Last time I checked anyways, could be wrong though."

All Lexa could do was grin. "I guess a lot really has changed and I need some new lines."

Clarke should her head as she leaned forward and grabbed a remote off her coffee table and turned on the fireplace. Leaning her head back down on the couch, her legs still in Lexa's lap she closed her eyes. "Change isn't always a bad thing, but you're right a lot has changed, you don't need new lines though. I like your lines, even if they drive me crazy half the time." Without opening her eyes she could see the grin on Lexa's face. "Wipe that grin off your face Callaway."

"Or what?" Lexa asked, her head leaned back against the couch as she looked over at the blonde lying down.

"Or I'll have to wipe it off for you." Clarke said with one eye open.

"I'd love to see you try."

Clarke let out a loud laugh. "I'm sure you would but seeing as though that's what you want, I'm not about to give it to you."

Lexa closed her eyes and let herself relax. "This couch is really comfortable."

"Where the hell did that come from?"

Opening her eyes she shrugged as Clarke leaned up on her forearms. "It was an observation that I felt like sharing."

"Anything else you'd like to share?"

"I forgot how much I missed you, how much I missed this. Going on a romantic date and then being…"

"…us." Clarke finished for her, knowing that there was no real way to explain it.

Lexa nodded. "Tell me something."

"Like what?"

Reaching out Lexa took a hold of Clarke's hand and started playing with her fingers. "Something new, something I missed like how you ended up with this amazing place."

A smile crept across Clarke's features as she remembered finding the apartment. "I wasn't even looking but a patient came into the E.R. and happened to be a realtor. He tripped down the stairs and broke his wrist so he was telling me about what exactly happened. I told him he'd be hard pressed to find someone to buy a deadly apartment. Then he started explaining it to me, I wasn't even looking to move out of Octavia's. Especially since all I did was work and sleep. He offered to give me a tour just for giggles and I accepted. At first I thought he was trying to ask me on a date but then he told me that his wife was the one who brought him into the emergency room. I bought the place a week later. One look at the view and I was sold."

Lexa looked over at the large window they were sitting near. "It is a pretty great view."

Clarke smiled and Lexa knew that she was missing something. "What?"

"Not that view." Clarke finally let out as she sat up.

"What view are we talking about then?"

Clarke went to stand up but was stopped by a hand on her legs. "No walking for you."

"I walked half the way home, it's fine plus you're going to help me." Nodding Lexa stood up before helping Clarke up.

She expected the blonde to lead her to the stairs and up to her bedroom where she knew there was another large window but instead they started towards the front door. Clarke said nothing as she handed Lexa a sweater that was by the front door before opening it. They walked slowly up a set of stairs Lexa had never noticed before. Once at the top of the somewhat narrow staircase Clarke smiled before pushing the door open. Even with the snow covering the terrace Lexa's eyes were in shock. As great as the view from her new condo was, it had nothing on this. The view of the city was open and you could see the lights of the Empire State building poking out from the rooftops, and the lights of Central Park and suddenly it was as if it all made sense.

"In the summer, we come up here and watch movies up on the top deck, and have little barbeques and wine drinking sessions. Okay so it's sometimes wine and sometimes beer and every now and again a big ol' bottle of rum. Truth be told, not many people are allowed up here. It's kind of my escape from the city when it gets to much since I don't have the beach outside my door anymore."

"It's amazing." Clarke nodded with a smile as she looked over at Lexa and for the first time in years Lexa saw a familiar glint in her eyes, one that she had never found in anyone else. The same one that she hoped Clarke saw when she looked at her. A look she never thought she'd ever see again. "I get it now."

"Get what?"

"What Anya has been talking about for the past five years."

"Do I even want to know?"

Lexa smiled. "One day. I am just so proud of you, you've built the life you always wanted and I can't say that enough Dr. Griffin. That night I ended up in the E.R. I was less than pleased and then I saw you and it was like the pain didn't exist anymore, all that existed was you. I was also pleasantly surprised when you didn't kill me."

Clarke nodded her head like she had thought about doing just that before laughing. Reaching down before Lexa realized what she was doing she grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at the woman standing in front of her.

The cold hit Lexa like a brick wall and her mouth full open in surprise. "Did you really just do that?"

She looked up to see the blonde laughing with a little shrug. "You're asking for it."

For the next ten minutes they chased each other around the roof, Clarke hobbling along, trying to get out of the way of Lexa's snowballs before they ended up in a wet heap on the ground. Lexa was about to help Clarke up when she saw the woman making snow angels, so instead of getting up she laid beside her and mimicked her movement.

Another moment later Clarke was pulling on the sweater Lexa was wearing. "You're cold, I think I should warm you up."

No other words were spoken that night, except for each others names. Lexa had carried Clarke back down the stairs and into her apartment, wet clothes were thrown across the floor, leading a trail to the couch in front of the fire place. Then the blanket from the couch sprawled across the bottom of the stairs that led to Clarke's bedroom and sometime around 2 a.m. Clarke laid her head against Lexa's chest and a minute later they were both fast asleep.

 **XOXO**

Lexa woke up a few hours later to the sun poking through the curtains. A moment later she felt a hand on her hip squeeze her a little tighter. She dared to barely open one eye and take in her settings, hoping that for once what she was feeling was real and not a figment of her imagination like it had been so many times before.

The intense tingling she felt once she had a peak of blonde lying next to her sent her over the moon and back. A year ago she never would have dreamt that she'd be waking up next to her ex-girlfriend. Now she couldn't imagine it any other way except that she wanted to make the woman lying in her arms her current girlfriend. With happy thoughts filling her head and a smile on her face she somehow managed to fall back asleep, something that she never really did once she was awake for the day.

 **xoxo**

A couple hours later Lexa woke up to the smell of coffee. Smiling she opened her eyes and stretched out of her limbs. "Mm, hi."

"Hi beautiful." Clarke grinned as she wrapped her arms around Lexa and pulled her in for a hug. "I made coffee."

"Coffee is good but staying right here is better."

A slight chuckle. "I'm glad you think that because I think you may be stuck here for the day. It's storming out and the roads look terrible."

"I swear a couple hours again the sun was poking it's head through the window."

Shaking her head Clarke kissed Lexa's cheek. "Afraid it was short lived. Welcome to New York."

"Does that mean you have to go to work because I'm kind of liking the actual waking up with you."

"Nope, they haven't called me in. I'm sure everyone there is in great hands." Lexa smirked. "Wipe that smirk off your face."

"What?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "You know what, you dirty minded woman you."

"Not my fault you have great hands."

"And you wonder why I'm always gone when you wake up, you're such a smart ass in the morning."

"I'm a smart ass all the time, now get back over here and cuddle because the snow said so."

Laughing Clarke practically rolled on top of Lexa. "Oh the snow said so, what are you Elsa?"

"Yeah, I'm the mother fucking queen."

"Not in this house you aren't."

 **XOXO**

"I need your love babe, that's all I'm living for. Don't wanna pressure you baby but all I ever wanted to do is be your lover. Wanna be the only one that makes you come running." Lexa continued to sing along with the stereo as she stirred the pot on the stove.

It was a low key night, she was done work at a decent hour, but only because she had had to be up at an ungodly hour, even by her standards. So she decided that she'd spend the night relaxing by cooking a meal and catching up on t.v. Especially since both Lincoln and Octavia were both at work.

She had been so into cooking however that she hadn't heard the keys in the door and the footsteps coming down the hall. It wasn't until she felt hands slide across her stomach that her heart skipped a beat and she was brought back into the real world.

"Sorry to interrupt, I still forget you live here." Clarke grinned as she moved with Lexa, arms still around the brunette's waist as the song changed. "All I want is your extra time and your…"

"…Kiss." They both sang with a laugh before Lexa turned her head and pecked Clarke's lips. "It's okay, I don't mind when you spontaneously come by but to what do I owe the pleasure? I figured you'd still be at work."

Clarke leaned over Lexa and tasted the sauce that she had been stirring. "Mmm, that's good and dinner plans with Octavia since it's been a while."

"Guess I can't convince you to stay for dinner then." Lexa grinned as she turned around, Clarke finally letting go of her hold on her. Seconds later she felt the brunette take her hand and spin her around.

"Not this time, but soon? I'd love a nice home cooked meal."

"We had one the other day." Lexa grinned as they danced around the room.

"Lex, peanut butter and jam sandwiches does not count." They both laughed as Clarke reached into the fridge and took out a bottle of water before pushing herself up onto the counter while Lexa went back to cooking. "What no counter comment?"

"What's the point, you're just going to do it anyways and it totally counts!"

"True." Swinging her legs back and forth Clarke finally got bored and moved down off the counter only to lean over Lexa's shoulder. "That really does smell so good, I swear Octavia better get her ass home soon." Grinning Lexa held the spoon up to Clarke's lips, giving her another taste of the sauce. "Mmm, save me some of that!"

"You have some sauce on your lip." Lexa said as she turned away from the stove.

"I guess you better do something about that then."

Leaning forward with a grin on her face Lexa rested her hand on Clarke's hip and pulled her in. Pressing their lips together with a smile she let her hand run across the back of Clarke's waist while the blonde's hands came up to rest gently against her side of her neck. They pulled away just in the knick of time as they heard the door close. Biting her lip with a smile Lexa turned around and went back to stirring her sauce.

"Damn Lex, that smells awesome!" Octavia smiled as she rounded the corner of the kitchen. "Hey boo thang, let me change and then we can head out." She kissed Clarke's cheek before taking off for her room.

Once they heard her bedroom door close, Clarke and Lexa shared a look of relief. They had decided to keep whatever they were a secret, at least until they figured it out for themselves.

 **XOXO**

"Dr. Griffin, phone for you."

Clarke looked up from the chart she had been staring at and took the phone with a smile from the nurse.

"This is Dr. Griffin."

"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to hearing you say that." Lexa grinned from where she sat at her desk. "Sorry to bother you at work but I just got a very large package delivered. Only to open it an find the most amazing painting."

"Sounds fancy, what's the painting of?" Clarke grinned as she smiled at the nurse and handed her the chart.

"The view from my very soon to be finished condo of Central Park at night, with snow falling."

"Hope you didn't pay much for that."

Lexa laughed as she looked at the empty wall in front of her and then down at the painting that was lying across her desk. "It's perfect, kind of like the artist that painted it."

"Merry Christmas, I'm sorry you got it so late. They shipped it to Hong Kong, why I'm not sure but I'm just glad you have it now."

"It's seriously amazing, thank you so much, it's going on the wall as we speak but I'll let you get back to work. Have a good day my love."

"You too, don't work too hard commander."

Once Clarke put the phone down she tried to rid herself of the smile that she knew was on her face but she just couldn't seem to. "Hmm, wonder who you were just on the phone with." Fox grinned as she leaned over the nurse's desk.

Looking around to make sure no one was really around Clarke looked back at her friend. "Screw you."

"Nope, seems like Lexa is doing a great job of that."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't Griffin, do you girl." Fox laughed as she grabbed a chart and went on her way.

 **XOXO**

Two weeks later Clarke sat across from Octavia at the diner. Both were still on shift but were taking a mini break to recharge for the rest of their night.

"I am so glad to be done with work for the day." Lexa huffed as she slid into the booth next to Clarke. Both Clarke and Octavia looked at her with expressionless faces. "Sorry, not my fault you two have the night shift, and to be fair I've been up since 3 a.m."

"Shut up and order your food." Octavia huffed as she finished her coffee. "And get me another coffee while you're at it."

"Yes master." Lexa rolled her eyes as she got the waitress' attention.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Octavia had finally had enough. "Okay, seriously, this has gone on long enough." Both Clarke and Lexa gave her and each other a confused stare. "When are you going to tell me you two have been hooking up."

Clarke nearly spit out her coffee and Lexa was positive she couldn't sink further into the seat. "What?" They said in unison, both women looking across the booth at Octavia.

"It's been months now and you have yet to tell me. I'm tired of waiting. And before you try and deny it. Don't. I knew the very moment it happened the first time, months ago I just decided to say nothing because I'm a good friend like that and Linc told me that you'd tell me when you're ready." They continued to give her a shocked and confused look. "Seriously, you two. You suck at hiding it. Especially from me. Raven and Anya were right you both definitely have a look. So when did we start actually dating and not just screwing like bunnies?"

"When we got back, after New Years." Clarke finally let out. "But we were waiting to tell everyone until we figured everything out."

Lexa nodded. "We're taking it slow and seeing where it progresses." She added as Octavia continued to eat her stack of chocolate chip pancakes.

"Now that we have that cleared up, I can eat in peace and you two can stop trying to have secret kisses behind my back, in my apartment I might add. Oh and tell Raven she owes me forty bucks."

"Do I even want to know why?" Lexa asked with the shake of her head.

"I'm sure they started betting the minute you moved to town." Clarke sighed as she took out her phone to text her best friend.

"You know it blondie and since you two hooked up for the first time right on schedule, Raven owes me forty and Anya owes me twenty."

"Why does Raven owe you more?" Lexa questioned, even though she was positive she didn't really want to know.

Octavia grinned happily. "Never try and hide something from your best friend, especially one that happens to be a cop. Idiots." She grumbled with a shake of her head. "Glad we have it all sorted though." Lexa and Clarke both nodded, still unsure of how to react to getting busted like they were teenagers that were caught trying to sneak out. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone else until you two sort your shit out but Lexa if you hurt her, I will kill you."

"I think you've said that a time or two."

"And I'll keep saying it, it'll the last words I utter on the day I die."

Clarke looked at her best friend like she suddenly had three heads. "That's dramatic."

"It's called flare, now finish eating so we can get back to work."

 **XOXO**

"I can't believe she called us out like that." Lexa sighed as she climbed into Clarke's bed a day later.

"I can't believe she waited that long, here I thought we were doing a great job hiding it." They both laughed as Lexa pulled the blanket up over them.

Sighing the brunette kissed Clarke's cheek before resting her head against her shoulder. "So what do you say to another date?"

"Are you asking me out again? Gee you really have changed." Clarke laughed as she began to absentmindedly rub Lexa's back under her shirt.

"Is that a yes?" Lexa didn't have to look up to get her answer as she felt Clarke's head nod. "Good, but this time I promise, no one will get hurt."

Clarke knew she was talking about her ankle but she couldn't help but know that she was also talking about their hearts. As much fun as they had been having her heart still wasn't fully ready to let Lexa in completely but she was trying. She was trying really hard and in the moments she did allow herself to open up she felt things that she could never explain. She knew the feeling and it scared her to death because the last time she felt something similar she was left broken hearted.

"Sounds like a splendid plan to me but for now can we watch a movie and go to sleep because I is so tired." Lexa nodded and leaned up to give the woman a soft kiss before lying her head back down.

 **TBC…**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

"It's been two months, you're happier than a pig in shit. I don't understand what you're waiting for Clarke?"

"I'm just not ready to fully commit. Why are you on my ass about it?"

Octavia rolled her eyes as she reached her hand into the bowl of popcorn Clarke was holding. "You spend more time at her place then you do your own and you're great for each other. Plus she's still trying to romance you, which if I recall the story correctly is what you did to her the first time around. She's proving herself to you, stop being a little bitch."

At her last statement Clarke swatted Octavia's hand away from her bowl. "For starters I am not at her my place more than I'm here, it just happens to be closer to the hospital that I spend the majority of my time at and I like sleep. I'd sleep there but you yell at me when I do that. I know she's trying, I can see, I can feel it but I'm just not there yet. I love her, I've always loved her but I don't know if I'm in love with her. Oh and I'm not a little bitch!"

"Clarke that's the whole point in dating, to fall in love with someone, you aren't supposed to fall in love and then date!"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "It's just not that simple, there's a lot of history and taking it slow is the way to go."

"You're hopeless!"

 **XOXO**

"Hi you?" Lexa smiled as she entered her condo and found Clarke sitting on the couch typing away on her lap top as the television played in the background.

"Hey, sorry to barge in but Octavia has decided to commandeer my place for some party she's throwing.

Lexa let out a laugh as she took her coat off and kissed the top of Clarke's head. "You mean her birthday party?"

"Is it that time of year again already?" Clarke grinned as she leaned her head back against the back of the couch.

"I believe it is because she keeps mentioning it." Lexa yelled from the bedroom as she changed into her pajamas.

Clarke shook her head even though she knew no one could see her. "That would explain why she keeps asking for things for her birthday."

"Oh and what is it she wants this year, outside of everything?" Lexa asked as she sat back down on the couch next to Clarke. Looking over with an eye roll Clarke once again shook her head. "She's worse than Raven and Anya!" Lexa laughed knowing exactly what Octavia had asked for. "What are you working on?" She questioned, knowingly changing the subject to put Clarke at ease.

"Research, school never really stops when you're a doctor, we're always working on new things. This is about bone marrow and finding better ways to extract it so that it's less painful for the donor. How was work because you look like shit?" Clarke smiled as she looked over at Lexa who looked like a dead corpse.

"Why did I give you a key to my place? You say the nicest things to me."

Clarke leaned her head back and laughed as she closed the laptop and leaned over to kiss Lexa. "Probably because you didn't trust Octavia with them."

"Hmm, probably. Work was alright, just tiring. I hate board meetings, their so long and drawn out. Everyone trying to speak about something, half the time I don't pay attention. I don't know how my grandpa used to do it when there were no such things as smart phones."

"You poor millionaire you." Clarke laughed as Lexa laid her head down on her lap.

"Why do I like you?"

Clarke shrugged with a smile on her face. "I'm a successful doctor with a great body."

Lexa nodded with her eyes closed. "Yep, that's definitely it." A pause. "On a more serious note there's something I've been wanting to ask you." She opened her eyes to find questioning blue ones looking back at her.

"Oh and what's that?"

"How hard would it be for you to take a week off?"

Clarke shook her head. "Practically impossible."

"A weekend?" Lexa could see Clarke's mind starting to turn.

"It would depend why but I might be able to manage it."

Taking a deep breath Lexa finally asked her what she had been trying to for the past month.

"Seriously?" Lexa nodded, unsure of how Clarke was taking the idea.

"You want to whisk me away to Greece, for a weekend?" A nod. "That's what you've been trying to ask me about for the past month?"

Lexa huffed, she should have known Clarke would know that she was avoiding asking her something. "Yes."

"I'll see what I can do." She smiled with the shake of her head because leaning down to kiss the CEO.

 **XOXO**

"She asked you to go to Greece with her?" Raven yelled over the phone. "Clarke Griffin, you better have said yes."

"I said I'd have to see about getting the time off." The phone was silent and all Clarke could hear was a distant huff. "Don't give me that look, it's true. I'm busting my ass in med school, it's not easy to get time off."

"Clarke, I'm sure if you asked for a weekend off you would get it and it's for the Callaway groups biggest event of the year. You used to love going to it and now that it's in Greece, you're all 'I don't know if I can take a weekend off work'. Cry me a river Griff, get on the damn plane and shut up about it. You aren't confessing your undying love, you aren't running off to get married and it certainly doesn't mean that you have to put a label on your relationship even though you're totally dating."

"We're…"

"Yes, you are. Label or no label if the rest of society were to look at you they would call you a couple, that makes you a couple whether you want to classify it as such or not."

Clarke rolled her eyes as she grabbed a clean pair of scrubs. "Society can go screw itself."

"I say this with love, but take the fucking time off and go to Greece. When did you turn into USC Lexa?"

"Pardon you?" Clarke shook her head as she tried to process what Raven said.

She heard the other woman huff. "When did you become so dense, that girl is madly in love with you and has been madly in love with you since we were kids!"

"What?!"

"Oh shit, go to Greece, I'll talk to you when you get home. Byeee."

Clarke stood up off the couch. "Raven Reyes you hang up that phone and instead of going to Greece I will fly to Texas and kick your ass."

"Anya is going to kill me, after Lexa kills me. Lexa has always had a thing for you, ever since we were kids. She's always been smitten. That's why in high school she was such a player, she couldn't have you so she settled and settled some more."

"How did she never tell me this?!"

Raven laughed. "Told you, you've turned into the oblivious one. Go to Greece, see how it goes. You both deserve some time alone together, it's been awhile since you got dressed up and went to one of these things, no excuses." With that Clarke heard the click of the phone being hung up.

 **XOXO**

 _Laguna – One-Year Ago_

" _I'm insulted that you waited this long to come and see me, your hair is also insulted!" Clarke looked up from her phone and smiled at her high school friend who was ready and waiting for her at the salon._

" _I'm sorry, work is busy. I mostly just throw it up and I'm good to go. My hair doesn't care, it's always under a scrub cap." Lauren laughed and gestured for the blonde to follow her. Sitting down in the chair Clarke grinned at her friend._

" _I can't believe you're a real surgeon. Everyone has been talking about it, all good things."_

 _Clarke laughed. "Isn't it always around here." She wiggled her eyebrows as both girls broke out into a fit of laughter._

" _That is so true! Now let's give your hair the treatment it deserves."_

 _ **XOXO**_

" _Hey there sexy Lexie." Lauren smiled and turned her head towards the door when she heard the bell chime causing Clarke to look up from the chair she was sitting in._

" _You know only one person is allowed to call me that and she's not here."_

 _Clarke sunk down into the chair, even though she knew it was only a matter of time before Lexa noticed her presence. She heard Lauren laugh and she knew what was coming next._

" _Usual seat?" Lexa asked as the sound of voices got closer to Clarke._

" _Nope, someone has your seat but it was her seat first." Clarke turned in the chair slightly as Lexa sat down in the next to her._

 _She gave the brunette a soft wave. "Hey."_

" _Hi." Lexa smiled and Clarke could feel her heart speed up, she didn't know why it did but sometimes she just couldn't control it, no matter how hard she tried. It always seemed to be that timid, somewhat awkward 'hi' that got to her though. The soft Lexa, not the one that was full of confidence and ready to conquer the world but the one that was ready to throw on a pair of old sweat pants and dance around the kitchen with her hair a mess._

" _I'll be right back ladies, don't kill each other please." Lauren whispered the last part as she walked away to help someone else leaving the two exes sitting next to each other._

 _A few minutes passed without either girl uttering a word. They both kept their eyes on their phones as they waited for Lauren to come back before the tension bubbled over and Lexa finally broke._

" _Were you going to say goodbye?"_

" _Hmm?" Clarke asked, finally looking up._

" _You're leaving, I presume going back to New York. Were you going to say goodbye?"_

 _Clarke bit her lip and took a deep breath without meaning to. "How did you know and I'm honestly not sure. I hadn't figured it out yet."_

" _You're getting a hair cut, I figured that only meant you weren't going to be around much longer to get it cut."_

 _Before Clarke could answer she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Hi there ladies, fancy seeing you here." Both Clarke and Lexa turned in their chairs to see Mrs. Livingston's smile at them. "Sorry to eavesdrop but did I hear you're leaving again Clarke?"_

 _Clarke nodded. "That's okay and you did hear that."_

" _Then we mustn't wait any longer for that dinner. Jimmy and I are quite excited about it but I know life gets busy."_

 _It was then that Lexa decided to turn on her charm. "Goodness, I am so sorry my secretary passed along the message and I spoke to Jimmy not to long ago about it but it totally slipped my mind."_

" _Not to worry dear, how does tonight work?" Clarke wished she were a turtle so that she could hide out in her shell and pretend that she was no one to be found. She tried to think of a way to tell Mrs. Livingston that Lexa and her weren't together and that they couldn't have dinner. Except nothing would come out of her mouth and when she caught a glimpse at Lexa she knew the woman was having the same inner turmoil. "I won't take no for answer, a rain check maybe but that would be my absolute best."_

" _Tonight works for me." She hadn't meant for the words to come out, she certainly hadn't meant for Lexa to agree._

" _Me too."_

" _How do you two feel about Italian?"_

 _ **XOXO**_

 _Later that night Clarke met Lexa outside the Italian restaurant in New Port that Mrs. Livingston had made the reservations at. Lexa still didn't know how to handle the situation but a small part of her felt nostalgic about getting dressed up and going to dinner with the blonde._

" _Hey." Clarke greeted as Lexa held the door open for her._

" _Hi. Are you sure you want to do this?"_

 _Clarke shook her head. "No but they're so excited and I couldn't ruin that for some reason, but no pretending that we're together, we'll just act naturally."_

 _ **XOXO**_

" _This is the least Italian song there could be." Mrs. Livingston grinned over her third glass of wine as the Earth, Wind and Fire song started to play._

" _Yes but you love that they play this song and you say that every time we come here regardless."_

" _I know, but stop being a fool and realize that it's my cue that we should be dancing."_

" _Excuse us ladies, I have to take my wife for a spin around the room." With that Jimmy got up and extending his hand to his wife. A moment later they were half way across the room dancing to the music._

 _Thus far the evening had gone according to plan. Clarke and Lexa had been polite with each other, unintentionally finishing each other's sentences here and there but mostly they listened to the couple that had invited them and admired how after so many years there was still such undeniable love between them._

" _Did you um, did you want to dance? I mean Martha was right it is Earth, Wind and Fire and you're leaving in the morning so it'll really be like it never happened."_

" _You just want to dance."_

 _Lexa shrugged with a wide smile. "I mean I have to work off all the carbs and wine."_

 _Clarke was about to say no when she saw the smile on Martha Livingston's face and a hand waving her over. "Fine, I'll dance but only because Martha wants it and I'm clearly a sucker for that woman even though I barely know her."_

 _It was enough for Lexa. "I'm pretty sure Jimmy will always vote the same way I do now in board meetings thanks to you."_

" _What can I say I'm charming and intelligent. I think he's only trying to get into my good books so that if he ever ends up on my operating table I don't botch the surgery."_

 _Lexa couldn't help the laugh that came out of her mouth. "I don't blame him then but if he ever does end up anywhere near your operating table he'll be in good hands."_

" _Damn right, now spin me." With the roll of her eyes Lexa spun Clarke around. Yep this woman might live in New York but she knew how to work a room better than anyone else in Southern California._

 _By the end of the song it was like the world had faded away and there was no history between the couple as they danced along with Jimmy and Martha, singing every single word of the song. "Do you remember the 21_ _st_ _night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders, while chasing the clouds away." They all sang in unison as Jimmy took a hold of Clarke's hand and spun her around._

" _See Lexie, that's how you do it!"_

 _After the song ended they all went back to their seats laughing. "I'm so sorry to see you leaving us again so soon Clarke, but you have to promise that the next time you visit we do this again. It's been so nice catching up with you both."_

" _I will most certainly let you know and please feel free to visit the next time you're in New York._

" _I expect to come on one of those elusive shopping trips that Liz was telling me about." Martha added._

" _It would be my pleasure."_

 _ **XOXO**_

" _I do you know." Lexa said as she pulled into the driveway of the Griffin's home. She had somehow convinced Clarke to let her drive her home instead of taking a cab._

" _You do what?" Clarke asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt._

" _Nothing, never mind." Lexa smiled as Clarke opened the door. "Thank you again for tonight, even though I know it wasn't about me."_

" _Goodnight Commander."_

" _Goodnight Griffster." With one last faint smile Clarke got out of the car and walked up to her door._

 _An hour later once she was tucked in bed Clarke's phone flashed. Rubbing her eyes she reached over and grabbed it._

 _Lexa Callaway 11:11 p.m. - … I'll never forget the 21_ _st_ _night of September._

 _Lexa Callaway 11:14 p.m. – Have a safe flight and take care of yourself Doctor Griffin._

 **XOXO**

"Hi beautiful, can I buy you a drink?"

Clarke turned around, a genuine smile on her face. "I suppose when a world class CEO wants to buy you a drink and calls you beautiful the answer should be yes."

"But?" Lexa asked as she moved so that she was leaning against the railing that Clarke was.

"No buts." Clarke grinned. The smile she got in response made her stomach erupt with butterflies.

A few moments later she felt Lexa move to stand beside her once again. Only this time she didn't turn around to look at her instead she stood in her silver and black gown gazing out at the water below her. Lexa handed her the champagne flute without saying a word.

"Can I ask you for this dance?"

"You just got us drinks." Clarke smiled, she really couldn't help herself.

"It can wait." With those three words Clarke sat her drink down and took Lexa's extended hand.

They walked out into the middle of the patio where other people were dancing. "What is it?" Clarke asked as she leaned her cheek against Lexa's as they swayed to the rhythm of the music.

"I never thought we'd be here and I'm so incredibly grateful. Whatever we are, whatever we may be in the future, doesn't matter because in this moment I get to do it all over again, do it right. If you'll let me, not that I deserve it. There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about but I wasn't sure how."

Lexa pulled back slightly so that she was looking into Clarke's blue eyes. "I don't blame you for leaving, I don't blame you for following your dreams. In fact I am so beyond proud of you and I am so lucky to know you, to have you in my life is the best bonus I could have ever gotten. I just wanted you to know that I'm not mad you left, I'm mad at myself for being scared that I'd lose you. You're amazing Clarke Griffin and you deserve everything this life has to offer."

Without hesitation Clarke leaned forward and pressed her lips to Lexa's in the middle of the dance floor. She didn't care who say, she didn't care about anything in that moment, except the beautiful woman standing in front of her.

 **XOXO**

"I keep finding you like this." Clarke smiled at the sound of Lexa's voice as she once again stood against the railing. "Sorry I keep leaving you to boredom."

"We're in Greece, there's nothing boring about that, plus I understand when duty calls and it's nice to see some familiar old faces and catch up."

Lexa smiled as she let her hand rest against the small of Clarke's back. "It's beautiful isn't it?" Lexa already knew the answer to the question. She knew from the moment she saw the view years before that it was everything that appealed to Clarke.

"It's breathtaking and the sea, it's even more amazing in person than it is in photographs and painting, no amount of artwork could do it justice."

"It also holds all my secrets." Clarke turned and gave the woman a questioning look. "My old phone is sitting in the bottom of that very sea somewhere. With every missed call and missed text you ever sent me, that everyone ever sent. That cute photo of you with Alfred as my lock screen, the one where he's trying to lick your face and a screen cap I took of you from our last face time call that you didn't know I had as my home screen. I threw it all away, literally threw it all away."

"You threw your phone into the sea?" Was all Clarke could grasp as Lexa nodded, ready for Clarke to chew her out. Instead she watched as the woman threw her head back laughing. "You're such an idiot, who throws their phone into the sea from a balcony!"

"I was emotional, and drunk. Glad you find it amusing."

Clarke looked back out at the water with a smile as she leaned into Lexa's side for warmth, even though it wasn't that cold. "You're lucky I don't throw you into the sea, I loved that picture of Alfred and I." A few moments passed in before Clarke spoke again. "Thank you for asking me to come here with you. For showing me this beautiful place."

"We'll come back one day when it's not for work and we can enjoy ourselves properly." It was the first time either of them had really talked about anything involving the future and Lexa was a little worried she had crossed the imaginary lines they had set.

"I'd like that." Lexa felt her heart speed up at Clarke's admission. So much so that all she could do was tilt her head forward slightly and kiss Clarke's temple.

TBC… 


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

"Why are you giving me that look?" Lexa asked as she and Clarke stood on the balcony of their hotel suite. Clarke only looked at Lexa and then back out at the water. She looked like she wanted to ask something but couldn't bring herself to. Shaking her head Lexa walked back inside to change out of her dress. When she came back outside Clarke was still standing in the same spot. Smiling, Lexa wrapped a blanket around the blonde's shoulders. "It's not down there with my phone." She wrapped her arms around the blondes waist and kissed the top of her head. "I didn't get over you that quickly Clarke Griffin."

Finally the blonde turned around in Lexa's arms. "How'd you know that's what I was thinking about?"

"You aren't the only one here who knows the other." Lexa grinned as Clarke rested her head against Lexa's shoulder.

"How long did it take for you to get over me?"

Lexa smiled and looked out at the water as she held Clarke in her arms. "Isn't it obvious? I never really did. I don't think I ever could. When you've had the best you never get over it, you merely make yourself believe that you will. How long did it take you to get over me?"

"About a year." Clarke laughed as Lexa scoffed at her. "I don't really know, when day it just started to hurt less. You seemed happy, happier than I you had been in a long time. That's all I ever wanted for you, Costia was able to give you things I couldn't. That helped me start to move forward. You know that day that I saw you in the hospital my heart was beating out of my chest because I had forgotten how beautiful you are. Which really only pissed me off ten times more. I had been trying so hard to steer clear of your but no matter what you always show up. Whether it's the cover of a magazine as I'm walking to work, or a song on the radio, you're everywhere Lexa Callaway and I can't seem to rid myself of you."

"The world kind of has a plan of its own for us."

"That it does but right now, I have a plan of my own." Lexa knew that spark in Clarke's eyes, even in the midst of darkness. Clarke slid the blanket of her shoulders before slipping out of her dress and pulling Lexa back inside with her. "This time you'll remember sleeping with someone in Greece."

Lexa shook her head at the mischievous grin Clarke had plastered all over her face but she was soon consumed by the half naked woman pushing her down on the bed and crawling on top of her. Clarke Griffin was going to be the death of her.

XOXO

Lexa woke up and stretched out with a slight yawn. It didn't take her long to realize that the bed was empty. Opening her eyes slowly she saw the sunlight shining in from the balacony where the curtains were open. She propped herself up on her forearm and smiled as she took in the sight. Clear skies, the sun shining, the sea and a beautiful blonde sitting in nothing more than a thin sheet, sketchpad in hand. She wanted to remember this moment forever, this was how she wanted to wake up every morning.

"You're awake." Clarke grinned as she turned her head at hearing movement from inside the hotel room. Standing up she closed her sketch book and made her way back into the room. She kneeled down on the bed, dropping the book on the floor as she crawled the rest of the way up to Lexa. The other woman didn't have a chance to speak as Clarke kissed her, a hand coming up to caress her cheek.

Grinning into the kiss Lexa wrapped an arm around Clarke's waist and pulled her down onto the bed. "Mmm, I'm awake now." She let out once she finally caught her breath.

"Do you remember any of last night?" Clarke asked as she kissed the corner of Lexa's lips.

Lexa smiled and swayed her head back and forth slightly. "It's a little hazy, I could use some reminding."

Clarke narrowed her eyes before leaning her head down and peppering kisses along Lexa's collarbone. "Do you remember that?" Once the goosebumps and butterflies died down slightly Lexa nodded her head in response. "How about this?" She slowly slid her hand the front of Lexa's still naked form under the covers, making sure to let her finger tips linger once they reached the brunette's hip.

"Like I said, it's a little hazey but it seems familiar." Lexa tried to take control of her thoughts but it was becoming more and more difficult the lower Clarke's hand got.

"It seems as though your body remembers," Clarke leaned forward and nipped at Lexa's earlobe before sliding her finger up and down where Lexa needed her most and whispering in her ear, "because you are incredibly wet Commander."

"I think you should keep reminding me so that I never forget again." How she managed to get the words out was a mystery to Lexa but she was so glad she had because Clarke continued to remind her for the next two hours.

XOXO

"What are you thinking about?" Clarke asked as she sat down next to Lexa on the beach. She took a hold of her arm and leaned into the brunette before resting her head on her shoulder.

Lexa felt herself relax a little as she rested her head against Clarke's. "You fit into my world so well. I always forget how amazing you are with people. I'm pretty sure you raised more money for charities last night than I did and I'm the damn CEO."

Clarke chuckled softly as she absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down Lexa's arm. "I'm good at schmoozer, it's genetics."

Lexa nodded, remembering how good Jake Griffin was at talking to people. "You're a lot like him, as much as people say you're like your mom, you're a lot like him."

"Oddly enough, so are you." She looked up at Lexa and smiled at her. Clarke knew that outside of her and Abby, Lexa probably missed her father just as much. "Sometimes, I think this is all him. That he's the one guiding me back to you in some evil cosmic way."

"If that's the case then I definitely owe him and it means he doesn't totally hate me."

Clarke laughed. "He could never hate you and try as I might, I never could either."

"You're perfect." Lexa kissed the top of Clarke's head.

All the blonde could do was smile. She'd have to thank Raven for convincing her to go on this trip when she got home.

XOXO

"Clarke?" Clarke looked up from where sat at the table to see Costia smiling back at her.

"Costia, hi." She stood up and gave the woman a brief hug, even though it was a little awkward. "Costia this is Kelly and Maya."

"Hi." She reached her hand out and shook both women's hands, her eyes locking with Kelly's a little longer than they probably should have when you first meet someone.

"Are you coming or going?" Clarke asked.

"Going, I was just meeting with a client. Time to go back to the hotel and get some food."

"Please, join us. It is a restaurant after all, no sense in paying for over priced crappy hotel food." Clarke could see the hesitation in Costia before the woman finally sat down in the empty chair at the table.

XOXO

"Thank you so much for inviting me for dinner, I was starving. I hate eating in front of clients because I can never actually enjoy the food."

Clarke smiled as the four women walked outside. "No problem, we're all serious about eating, glad we could help."

"I'm this way, I think so thanks again and it was great running into you." Costia grinned as she nodded her head sideways in the direction she was headed.

"I'm headed that way too, I'll walk with you, make sure you get there safe. I'll see you ladies later. Don't get to crazy tonight."

"We won't." They said in unison as they all exchanged hugs.

XOXO

A few days later Clarke yawned as she walked out of the on call room. She had been up for nearly twenty four hours and she was attempting to nap when her pager went off. Shaking her head she gave herself one more second before running towards the tenth floor.

Three hours later she walked out of the operating room in a huff and threw her scrub cap into the bin sitting by the door. A minute later she exited the room and shook her head.

"Rough day?" The voice caused her to look up.

"You can say that again, we don't always save them all and everyone you lose is tough. What brings you here? Are you stalking me?"

Costia smiled. "I had business to take care of for the Callaway group since it's a conflict of interests for Lexa."

"I know you can't say but should I be worried about my job?" Clarke laughed as they began to walk in the same direction.

"No, not at all. Not that sort of business."

"You've been in town a few days now, how are you liking New York?" Clarke reached forward and pushed the button for the elevator. She really didn't know why she was being so friendly with Costia but she had a feeling it meant that she was beginning to accept where her and Lexa were at now.

Costia shook her head as she got onto the elevator. "It's beautiful and I see why people find it so charming but it's not for me."

As they stood in the elevator Clarke's phone started to ring, filling the elevator with the sounds of California Love. "Sorry that's Raven, one second." They both laughed and Costia shook her head. "Hey Ray, I'll call your ass back soon, don't blow the world up before then." A pause before Clarke shook her head and hung up her phone. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize, nice ring tone. Biggie?"

Clarke laughed and then realized that Costia was asking her seriously. "Tupac. Not a hip hop fan I take it?"

"I like hip hop but all the modern stuff, Drake, Weeknd, Fetty Wap. I guess I'm a trap queen."

Clarke took a deep breath, a smile still present on her face. "I thought we might have a chance of getting a long but you just threw that out the window."

"Good thing we're in an elevator then."

"And Anya calls me snarky Clarkey, looks like I may have some competition." They both laughed as the elevator came to a stop before opening.

"A and I don't really get a long."

"It's probably because you call her A." Clarke let you without thinking, it hadn't come out rude but felt bad nonetheless.

"She didn't like me before that either." Costia laughed it off, clearly not offended by the statement causing Clarke to sigh in relief.

Clarke shrugged. "Anya doesn't like most people, I'm actually surprised she likes Octavia but they might as well be cut from the same cloth.

"I can definitely see that but I need to get to my next meeting. No rest for the wicked."

"Don't I know it. Have a good rest of your trip."

Costia smiled. "Thanks, you too and I hope your day gets better but you're a brilliant doctor, I'm sure you'll save the next like million."

Clarke chuckled slightly. "I think that's a bit of an exaggeration but a girl can only hope."

XOXO

"Why is Costia in your apartment?" Octavia asked just above a whisper in Clarke's ear as she stood next to her best friend in the kitchen.

Costia was sitting on the couch watching some sort of romantic comedy as Clarke popped some popcorn. "Because she's in town for a really big case and I we ran into each other, a couple of times so I told her to stay here instead of paying for a hotel."

"But Clarke, we don't like her."

Clarke turned to her best friend with a smirk and a shake of her head. "We're growing up and she's pretty cool actually. I think you could like her." Octavia gave her a look. "Okay maybe not but play nice please."

"Have you told Lexa yet?"

"No we haven't really talked in a couple of days, and it's not something I want to text her. Especially while she's 3000 miles away."

"Okay fair and I'll play nice! For now!" She added for good measure.

XOXO

Without meaning to Clarke started dancing from where she sat on the couch next to Octavia as they all watched This Means War. "See I told you that this is you, it's the first thing I said when I watched this for the first time." Octavia threw her hands up as Clarke threw some popcorn at her. "It's true! You dance to this song while you cook all the time!"

For her part Clarke started singing. "If you were from where I'm from then you would know."

"She's right, you were doing those exact moves a couple of hours ago." Costia finally chipped in as she continued to eat the popcorn from the bowl that was sitting in her lap.

"You both can leave!"

"Try living with her for years! All I heard was Motown and old school hip hop and rnb. Now don't get me wrong I'm down for it but the dance parties can be tiring."

"You love the dance parties asshole."

"Whatever." Octavia rolled her eyes. "You still haven't told me about Greece!"

Clarke shot her best friend a look. "It's fine but I definitely want details now. Are you two finally together?" Costia asked so nonchalantly that it almost made the other two women forget that she was once engaged to Lexa.

"There's nothing to tell! We had a weekend away, nothing's changed."

Octavia couldn't help but smile as she watched the grin sweep across Clarke's features. "Oh no, things have changed but whatever you say princess." Clarke gave her the finger before she threw popcorn at Costia and went back to watching the movie.

XOXO

It had been a really long week, with Lexa being away on business, Octavia on day shift, not to mention how busy the hospital had been. She hadn't really slept in the past day or so, she had lost count at this point so she was grateful for the quiet as she laid on the bed in the on call room. She was just about to fall asleep when her pager sounded. Groaning she reached her hand out to grab it before jumping out of bed.

Running out of the room she started a sprint down the hall as she put her hair up into a messy bun. When she got down to the trauma center all she saw was blood. Blood on the floor, blood on the gurney, blood on the paramedics. The second thing she noticed was the lifeless body that the blood had come from. Taking a deep breath she asked the paramedics what happened as she started to get closer.

"Motorcycle accident." That's when she saw brown flowing hair and an all too familiar black jacket. Everything inside her stopped working. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All she wanted to do was cry. It wasn't unless she got a glimpse of the stethoscope hanging from her neck that she rushed into action. She steadied her nerves, telling herself that this couldn't be Lexa lying in front of her. On the count of three everyone in the room helped lift the woman onto a proper bed and that's when she heard something fall. Even in the noise of the room she heard something hit the ground. It wasn't until one of the nurses held the object up to her that she saw what it was. A sapphire ring had fallen out of one of the small pockets of the jacket. She knew that ring, it was engraved in her memory forever, she had worn it around for years. It looked differently now, covered in blood.

Clarke froze, completely unable to move, this could not be happening.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

She couldn't peel her eyes away from the ring. "This fell out of the coat, where should I put it?" She heard her intern ask her the question, once, twice, three times before Monroe rushed in.

"Clarke! Clarke it's okay, we'll figure it out. I'm taking over for doctor Griffin." Still Clarke hadn't said a word. She was always good in a crisis, always had been. "We don't know that this is her Clarke." Monroe tried to get a look at the woman's face but it was lacerated beyond recognition.

"It's her jacket, it's the ring I bought her." Monroe took a quick look back to see the ring that Clarke was holding. It hit her like a truck and she wasn't sure why she hadn't checked before. "Her right arm! Check her right arm!" She yelled into the chaos of the room.

The other doctors got the jacket off and check her arm. What happened next had Clarke running around of the room faster than she ever had.

XOXO

"Clarke are you okay?" Came the husky voice as the door Clarke had been incessantly banging on finally opened. Without thinking about the fact that she was covered in blood she wrapped her arms around the woman standing in front of her. She felt strong arms wrap around her and she had never felt so much relief in all her life. "Come on, let's get you inside." Clarke didn't let go of her grip around Lexa's neck as she was carried inside. She heard the door close behind her as Lexa flipped on a small light. "You're covered in blood, are you okay?" Still Clarke couldn't answer. It was then that Lexa noticed what Clarke was carrying. "Where'd you find that? Someone stole it last night from the coffee shop."

"What?" Clarke finally spoke, shaking her head, trying to get herself to come back to reality.

"My jacket, someone took it off the back of my chair last night when I was having coffee with Octavia before she went to work."

"A woman, came into the E.R. A motorcyle accident she was wearing it, I thought it was you."

"So the blood's not yours?" Lexa's hands were gently cupping Clarke's cheeks.

Clarke shook her head, finally looking down at herself. She was still in her scrubs and in fact covered in blood. "It's not mine, once I figured out it wasn't you I ran here."

"Okay, come on, lets get you cleaned up. I'm safe and I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Lexa kissed her forhead and held her close for a minute.

"No, please don't let go."

With a nod, Lexa took her cut up jacket from Clarke's hand and threw it onto a nearby chair before picking the blonde up and carrying her into the washroom. She set her down and turned on the shower. In all the years they had known each other Lexa had never seen Clarke like this.

"Arms up my love." Clarke followed Lexa's instructions and raised her arms as the brunette pushed her scrub top up over her head. Dropping it on the floor she helped Clarke get out of her pants before helping her with her out of her underwear. Lexa reached her hand into the shower, checking to make sure the water temperature was okay before getting Clarke in. It didn't take long for any remained blood to wash off the blonde.

A second later Lexa stepped into the shower behind the other woman and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I'm right here baby, it's okay."

Turning around in her arms Clarke looked into bluey-green eyes. "I love you too."

XOXO

New York – A couple of weeks ago

" _Thank you for coming with me. It meant the world to me and I know how hard it is for you to take time off work." Lexa rambled slightly as her and Clarke stood on Clarke's doorstep._

" _You're welcome, I had an amazing time. It was as enchanting as I always dreamt it would be so thank you."_

" _I can't thank you enough. Not only for agreeing to spend time with me but for making my the company's charities a lot of money. People love you."_

 _Clarke smiled, she knew she had a way with people and it was something she was proud of, especially when it was for a good cause. "You make them think you're truly invested in what they're saying and you'll have them eating out of the palm of your hand. You know that though, you do it all time."_

 _Lexa couldn't help but laugh. "Every now and again I turn on the charm."_

 _Clarke thought about being a smart ass but for some reason she decided not to. Instead she leaned forward and kissed Lexa. It was soft, slow and full of emotion. "I guess sometimes you do. Do you want to stay the night?"_

" _I'd like that."_

 _Xoxo_

 _An hour later they were curled up in bed. Ever since they had gotten closer they had made a pack to tell each other things that they had missed in each others lives whenever they remembered something. It usually happened late night when they were both closer to sleep than they were awake._

" _Monroe hit on Fox because she thought she was flirting with her. Turns out Fox is just the nicest girl in the world and was being polite. They've been best friends ever since."_

 _Lexa laughed as she pushed a stray strand of hair out of Clarke's face. "That's awesome I wish I could have seen that."_

" _What is it? You've had something on your mind all trip, is everything okay?" Clarke asked, moving a little closer to the other woman in her bed._

" _How is it you always know?" Lexa smiled shyly, she had really been trying to act like nothing had been on her mind._

 _Clarke shook her head. "I've known you my whole life and I happen to know both your parents quite well. You all have the exact same way about you when you want to say something. Your mom had that look every time she wanted to tell me something about you, it was hard acting like I didn't know what she wanted to say."_

" _I think I always knew that when they came to New York, it was less to do with business and more to do with you. I don't think they ever got over our breakup and I refused to see why. Have I told you how incredibly stupid and sorry I am?"_

 _Clarke nodded with a smile. "A few times. Now shut up and kiss me."_

" _Here I thought I was the commander?" Before Clarke could answer, Lexa's lips were on hers._

 _Xoxo_

" _I hate real life." Clarke groaned as she felt Lexa get out of the bed early the next morning. She was still wrapped in the blankets as she watched Lexa get ready for work._

" _You won't be saying that tonight when you're hands are in someone's intestines." Lexa watched the lazy smile cross Clarke's face._

" _Mhmm, that's true but for right now I hate it because my bed is cold and you're all the way over there when you should be over here. You're the boss, can't you call in dead? I'll write you a doctors note?"_

" _As amazing as that sounds, I have a meeting that I'm needed at and then I agreed to help a friend with a case. Although none of those even compare to how happy I would be to stay in bed with you. Which is exactly why I'm over here because if I get to close you'll draw me in and hold me hostage."_

 _Clarke didn't say another word, instead she smiled that sleepy smile that Lexa thought she'd never get to see again._

 _Twenty minutes later Lexa walked over to the bed and leaned down to gently kiss Clarke's head as the woman slept. A lot of time may have passed and a lot of things might have changed but the some things always stayed the same. How adorable Lexa thought sleepy Clarke was however not one of them._

" _I love you pretty girl." She whispered into the quiet room because she couldn't hold it in anymore. She was completely and utterly in love with Clarke Griffin._

 _XOXO_

Lexa stood stunned, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I love you Lexa, truthfully I don't think I ever really stopped. I think I only buried it in a little tiny box that only you could open. Seeing that woman lying there, thinking it was," the water started to well up in her eyes as her voice shook, the hot water pouring over them both, "thinking it was you and that I never told you how I felt, how I feel. You were right, we've wasted to much time being apart, I want you Lexa, I want you in my life forever. I don't want to lose you again, I don't want to live in a world that you aren't in ever again. It broke me the first time, and I don't think I could survive that again."

Lexa reached up and brushed the tears that were falling down Clarke's cheek away with her thumbs. "I will never leave you again."

Xoxo

An hour later they were lying in their robes on the couch, a blanket pulled over them as they watch the fireplace crackle. "So you heard me the other morning?" Lexa held Clarke closer to her.

"Mhmm, of course I did. You should know I can never fall back asleep until after you leave."

"Always so sneaky." Lexa smiled as she felt Clarke relax a little.

"I'm sneaky? You're the one that's been carrying around a ring I threw at your head!"

"At first I forgot I had put it in there, then when I found it I decided that it was a good reminder of how not to be ever again."

"Good, then you should continue wearing it so the stupid, stubborn side of you stays at bay. I'm glad your home by the way, I don't know how we ever lasted in a long distance relationship."

"Me either but I guess we're both a bit stubborn."

"That we are." Clarke agreed as she laid her head against Lexa's chest and watch the rain fall outside. "You are never riding in the rain again or I might have a heart attack."

"Good thing your mom is an heart surgeon." Clarke slapped Lexa's leg.

"Why do I love you?"

Lexa shrugged. "I don't know but I do know that I am the luckiest girl in the world because you do and just for the record I love you."

XOXO

The next morning Clarke woke up to the smell of coffee and breakfast of some sort, yep that was definitely the smell of bacon. Before she could get out of bed Lexa opened the door to her room and placed a try down next to Clarke before climbing into bed next to her. "I figured you had to go back to the hospital but I wanted to make sure you were well fed before you left."

"Aren't you just the sweetest?" Clarke couldn't help the cheesy grin that was on her face as she watched Lexa's cheeks get a little pinker than normal.

"Actually I believe that's you. Showing up in the middle of the night in a panic." Clarke looked down at her breakfast, more than slightly embarrassed. "Hey, no need for that look, it was incredibly sweet and adorable and a million other things. Seeing you that upset made me realize just how stupid I was. Not that I didn't already know. I never want to be the reason you feel pain. I've caused you enough pain for a life time and I just hope I can spend a lifetime making it up to you." Lexa kissed the tip of Clarke's nose as the woman looked back up at her.

"I'm just sorry it took that happening to make me realize how I felt."

"Don't apologize to me, you have nothing to apologize for and even if you did, I wouldn't deserve it but now can we talk about my ex staying with you?" Lexa questioned as Clarke took a bite of bacon. "You don't even like her."

"I mean she's alright plus she's been saying I'm hot now and not you so that makes me like her a little more." Lexa shook her head as she too picked up a piece of bacon from the plate. "She was staying at a hotel, I felt bad and I kept running into her. She's not in town for too long but no sense in wasting money."

"You and Octavia are far to much alike."

"I know, but don't tell her." Clarke laughed. Realization finally struck Clarke as she turned and looked at Lexa worriedly. "If you're jacket was stolen does that mean Orchid is gone too?"

"Orchid is perfectly fine, she's sleeping like a baby downstairs in the garage where no one can harm her." Lexa grinned as she wrapped her arms around Clarke before stealing another piece of bacon off the plate.

"Thief!" Clarke joked. A second later Lexa's phone staring ringing bringing the two women out of their near wrestling match.

"Lexa Callaway." Lexa tried not to laugh as Clarke made a face at her. "Unfortunately I can not make it in at the moment please call Mr. Pierce and he'll be sure to take care of the issue promptly." With that she hung up the phone and threw it onto the chair that sat in the corner of her room.

"Lexie if you have to go don't feel like you can't."

Lexa shook her head and sank back into the bed. "No, I don't need to be the one to handle it, I need to get better at delegating and I want to spend the morning with you. Especially since we have a busy week and Octavia's birthday this weekend that's she been planning for weeks."

"I definitely won't complain to more cuddle time, because even though I'm relieved in the light of day I still don't want to let you out of my sights."

"Then in your sights I shall stay."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Lexa unlocked the door to Clarke's apartment after a long day of work and immediately headed upstairs to Clarke's bedroom to change out of her work clothes and have a quick shower. It had been a long couple of days and all she wanted to do before the crazy weekend that was fast approaching was cook dinner and hopefully get to eat it with her girlfriend.

When she came back downstairs she turned the stereo on and picked the play list she wanted. Walking into the kitchen she sorted through the bag of groceries she had brought with her. It had been to long since she had been able to cook a nice dinner that consisted of more than warmed up left overs and macaroni and cheese. Not that there was anything wrong with a little kraft dinner. Instead she opted to make a nice pasta dinner with her special rose sauce.

An hour later she was so consumed with cooking that she hadn't heard the door open. "I got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I got the month May. I guess you say what can make me feel this way. My girl." She continued to sing without turning around.

"Holy shit!" She jumped once she saw Costia suddenly standing on the other side of the kitchen counter. Grabbing the remote she turned the stereo down. "I'm sorry I keep forgetting you're staying with Clarke."

Costia could only laugh. "It's fine, interesting way to end a day though. It's only after staying with Clarke that I've realized how crazy you two are."

"She's been singing around the house after hasn't she?"

"I don't think she's ever stopped. I swear every time I walk in the door and she's here, she's singing. Which isn't that often but still, every time."

Lexa smiled. "She does that a lot."

Costia nodded. "Look at you being all domestic though."

"She's had a long week, I figured she needed a proper meal." Lexa held up the bottle of wine to Costia but the woman shook her head no.

"I've been telling her that but like you she doesn't listen and no thanks I just came in to change. I have a dinner meeting that I'm actually going to go and get ready for."

 **xoxo**

Not long after Costia went upstairs Lexa felt arms wrap around her waist. "As pretty as you are you know you could have been a flower." Lexa sang as she leaned her head back to kiss her girlfriend.

"If good looks was a minute, you know that you could be an hour." Clarke sang back as Lexa set the spoon down and turned around.

"The way you stole my heart you know you could have been a cool crook. And baby you're so smart, you know you could have been a school book." They danced around the kitchen for a couple minutes before Lexa stopped to stir her sauce.

"I'm going to go change, I'll be back." Clarke winked before tapping Lexa's butt with a laugh.

Twenty minutes later Clarke came back downstairs, freshly showered and in a pair of sweat pants.

"I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go. If I have to beg, plead for your sympathy I don't mind 'cause you mean that much to me. Ain't to proud to beg."

Clarke could only shake her head as she sat on the counter and watched Lexa finish cooking. "You should really stick to rapping."

They heard a laugh coming from down the hall. "Yeah and you should definitely leave the singing to Clarke."

Clarke laughed with a nod as she gave Costia a high-five. "Rude. This is to awkward for me, maybe I should leave and let you two have dinner." Lexa joked as she sipped on her glass of wine.

"Bye babe." Clarke laughed before the song changed and both women started singing. "Cause you make me feel so brand newwww. I want to spend my life with youuuu."

"Nope I'll definitely be the one leaving because I have no idea what you two are singing. Octavia is right, you two should have been in one of those cheesy rom-coms of the 90's. I'll see you kids later, don't have to much fun." With that Costia left.

"What's with the look on your face?" Clarke asked as Lexa poured her a glass on wine.

"She has a crush on you."

Clarke shook her head. "Who? Costia? No, last time I checked she was your ex."

"Maybe so but she definitely has a crush on you. Now I see what you were talking about way back when."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "You're crazy."

"She told you she thinks you look hot in a lab coat."

"She was kidding." Lexa shook her head no. "She wasn't kidding."

"Nope, she meant it but I can't blame her, you do look hot in your scrubs and lab coat."

"Whatever, is dinner ready yet?"

Lexa laughed." Always so impatient my love but yes, dinner is ready."

"I should have given you a key a long time ago, if I'm going to come home to dinner."

"God I forgot how cute you can be." Lexa grinned and kissed Clarke on the forehead.

XOXO

Later that night Lexa heard the door open and close quietly. She was lying on the couch with a sleeping Clarke in her lap. A minute later the light in the kitchen turned on.

"Hey sorry, I figured you two would be asleep by now."

"It's okay, she's out like a light."

Costia smiled as she got a bottle of water out of the fridge as Lexa gently got off the couch without waking the blonde. "I always thought you were the worst sleeper, until I met her."

"She's never slept much. Just got to put on a horror movie, let her get comfortable and she's out. Good thing is, she sleeps like the dead." Lexa smiled as she looked over her shoulder at a still sleeping Clarke.

"I've never seen you this happy, I like it." Costia admitted as she watched Lexa look over Clarke.

"Thank you, I appreciate that and I hope this isn't to hard for you."

Costia shook her head. "Not at all. You're both with the people you should be with and I think we're all happier because of it. I know me staying here is awkward and weird but it does beat a hotel room."

"It is, but that's Clarke. I'm actually surprised she doesn't have twenty stray cats and fifteen homeless puppies running around here."

"Are you calling me a homeless puppy?"

Lexa laughed quietly. "No, you're more of a stray cat but even if I really didn't like it there's no stopping her once she sets her mind to something."

"I've seen that about her. I've been at the hospital a lot because of work, she's incredible at what she does and everyone seems to respect her."

"She has that affect on people. You know she made the company charities almost two million dollars." Costia's eyes widened slightly. "Yeah but I should go take Cinderella to bed, have a good night. And Costia?" The woman looked up at her. "Thank you for seeing what I didn't want to."

XOXO

"Why is it you have to use my place for your birthday?" Clarke asked as she and Lincoln tried to spread the balloons around the apartment while Octavia sat on the counter eating nachos.

"We always have your birthday at my place so that you don't have to clean up. Same rules apply."

"Fine." Clarke huffed. "But Linc has to clean."

"Deal."

"Hey!" They heard him yell from across the room as he threw his hands up in the air while shaking his head.

"Woah, balloons." Costia said as she opened the front door to see the apartment unexpectedly full.

Octavia laughed at seeing the other woman jump slightly. "It's this ones birthday. Sorry I forgot to warn you." Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Happy birthday Octavia. I won't be here long, I just need to change."

"You should come out tonight. All you've been doing is working. Plus I don't think you've really gotten to experience New York. I mean I know you and Clarke went shopping the other day but that hardly counts." Clarke wasn't sure that the words hadn't come out of her own mouth but judging by the expression on Costia's face the words had definitely come from Octavia.

"Um," Costia was still in shock."

"I insist plus it's my birthday. I get whatever I want!"

"And what you want is to go to a club we haven't been to in ages! Aren't we to old for that?"

Octavia shook her head. "Negative, you're too old but I'm only 28, still in my prime. Besides it's been forever and I want to go dancing like we used to post breakup when I got crazy Clarke."

"Crazy Clarke?" Costia dared to ask.

"Don't go there, it was a rough time. Let's just say I didn't sleep much because there was a lot of 4 a.m. drunk calls to pick these two up."

"It was a great time! I had always known Clarke to be in a relationship. I had heard many stories of crazy Griffin but never witnessed her until I did and it was magicial." Octavia smiled with complete sincerity.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up then." Costia admittedly honestly. She had heard stories of crazy Clarke but never had she seen any proof. She had always figured it was Anya and Echo talking the blonde woman up.

"We'll teach you, don't worry. No more work for you tonight." Octavia grinned as she sipped from the champagne bottle that was in her hand. "When are my other bitches getting here?" Both Clarke and Lincoln gave each other matching looks as they shook their heads.

XOXO

"It's about time you bitches showed up! Where's Echo?" Octavia questioned as she was engulfed in hugs by Raven and Anya.

"So I'm just useless now that they're here?" Lexa questioned as she walked through the door, with suitcases in either hand.

"No you're a very good mule." Octavia grinned.

"Leave my girlfriend alone." Clarke said nonchalantly as she moved forward to help Lexa.

She was mid-kiss when she felt someone pull on her arm. "The fuck did you just say Griff?"

Clarke shook her head at her best friend. "What?"

"What nothing, the fuck did you just call her." Anya pointed towards her best friend who had finally set the suitcases down.

"I think they're referring to the fact you called me your girlfriend my love."

"Oh that." Clarke started to blush slightly. "It just came out."

"You guys are late to the party, that happened like a week ago and they haven't shut up about it ever since."

Anya looked royally pissed off, so pissed off that it made Costia almost want to walk back up the stairs she had just walked down. "It happened a week ago and I didn't get a phone call, a text, not even a damn email? Lexa you may be a world class CEO but that will not stop me from beating the shit out of you like we're five years old again."

"Please don't hurt her, at least not today." Clarke grinned as she finally gave Anya a hug.

"She's dead to me." Anya tried not to laugh. "But I'm glad you two have finally made things official."

"Great now that that's out of the way and half the gang is here, would you all shut up and drink so that I'm not the only one that's drunk?"

XOXO

Clarke had somehow convinced Octavia that they should all have dinner before getting completely intoxicated. The only issue was that dinner ended hours ago and everyone was certainly starting to feel the drinks Raven and Clarke had been making.

"I didn't realize how good you were at this." Lexa grinned as she kissed Clarke's shoulder while she made Anya another shot.

"I had a lot of practice plus I love science, it's a good mix."

Lexa shook her head as Clarke handed her and Anya shots. "I thought this was just for her? Are you trying to take advantage of me Griffin."

"You wish Callaway. I just know you're going to need to be extremely drunk to be where we're going."

Before Lexa could ask if she should be scared the doorbell rang and Clarke went off to answer it. Coming back into the kitchen a few minutes later with a bunch of burley guys.

"Where's our little trouble maker?" Ryder grinned as she looked around Clarke's apartment for Octavia.

"My boys!" Octavia screamed from the second floor balcony of Clarke's apartment that over looked the living room. A minute later she was running down the stairs and jumping into Ryder's hug.

"Ladies, the boys, boys, the ladies."

"Hi there boys, Raven Reyes, the only single one of these ladies. Nice to see you all again."

Costia shook her head and threw her hand in the air. "I'm single too."

"Yeah except you prefer a different menu." Thinking about it for a minute Costia nodded her head before going back to sipping on her drink. "I take it you all work together?"

"Yes we do, it's nice to meet you Raven, I'm Leo and if memory serves me right, you're the princess's best friend? I don't believe we've met before." He moved closer to her and took her hand before kissing the back of it.

"Smart man, that is correct and no I don't think we have."

"Keep it in your pants Ray Rey." Clarke shook her head from the kitchen as she started to make another round of shots. "Where are our other ladies? I haven't seen them in forever." Clarke pouted.

"Not to worry my friend. Emori is meeting us there and Niylah is working so she'll be there and I think Kelly is going to try and stop by."

The boys all groaned at Octavia's statement. "Does this mean we're going to be carrying you all home again?" Ryder asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

"Damn what did I miss Griffster?" Lexa asked as she put her arm around her girlfriends shoulder.

Clarke and Octavia shared a look before laughing. "A lot but we promise to behave tonight." The house erupted in laughter. "Okay we promise to try to, it's been awhile. I can't remember the last time we all went out like this, add in these crazy party animals and I'll need to have us all hooked up to IV's in the morning."

"Who's Niylah?" Costia asked, the name sparking some interest.

Octavia let out a loud laugh and only partially because she was getting drunk. "One of my best friends growing up and Clarke's dime piece."

"I'm sorry, Clarke's what?" Anya asked.

"You don't know what a dime piece is?" Raven responded with the shake of her head. "Here I thought you were some cool bad ass cop."

"I know what a dime piece is, why's the supposed hottie Clarke's dime piece is what I want to know?"

"Where's my uber?" Octavia shouted, interrupting before anyone else could speak.

Lexa shook her head. She really wanted to know about this mysterious Niylah but it was Octavia's day after all. "Do you really think I'd let you take an uber on your birthday?"

Octavia raised an eyebrow causing Lexa to laugh. "Okay, yeah I would but my mother wouldn't so the limo is already waiting downstairs."

"This is going to be awesome!" Octavia yelled as she grabbed her coat and smiled at Lincoln before heading towards the door. "Let's move people, I need to get my dance on!"

Five minutes later Clarke was locking her door as everyone else was waiting downstairs. "So how many times have you two hooked up?"

"What?" Clarke asked as she turned to find Anya leaning against the wall next to her.

"How many times Griffin."

Clarke shook her head with a laugh. "A few, I had my share of fun. I was in a relationship for a long time, I had a lot to get out of my system. Especially after I found out she was with Costia."

"I better approve." Anya laughed as they got closer to the limo.

"Of which one?" Clarke grinned before getting into the limo, leaving Anya standing outside for a moment shaking her head,

"What did I miss." She asked once she finally got into the limo.

"A lot." Raven joked, having an idea of what the two women had been talking about.

"I don't want to know, do I?"

"Probably not baby." Clarke grinned as she kissed Lexa's cheek.

"Woah, hold on." Everyone looked up at Raven who was looking at something on her phone. "You two are dating but you aren't facebook friends and you don't even follow each other on instagram."

Both Lexa and Clarke laughed. In truth they hadn't really thought about it since they spent quite a bit of time together. "Those are the things that concern you?" Clarke rolled her eyes at her best friend before taking out her phone. "Happy now?" Clarke showed her phone to Raven.

"Yes."

"Good, now can we party?" Octavia asked from the other side of the limo.

"Let's do this!" Clarke grinned.

XOXO

"The line is huge, please tell me we're on the guestlist." Raven grumbled between Ryder and Leo.

Octavia grinned. "We don't need a guestlist. Clarke, do you."

Letting go of Lexa's hand Clarke moved around to the front of the line. "So are you guys just letting anyone in here nowadays?"

Lexa was about to make a comment about the look on the bouncers face until he smiled. "Clarke." He grinned as he picked her up. "It's been to long. How's the doctor stuff going?"

"Oh you know, bloody." They both laughed as he opened undid the chain. "It's Octavia's birthday, Niylah here?"

"You know it, go on in." She thanked him before taking Octavia's hand and walking in. "You're all with Clarke?" He asked looking at Lexa and Anya who both nodded. "Right this way then."

"We sure missed a lot." Anya whispered to Lexa as they made their way into the club as the loud house music took over.

Following the guys through the hall the room finally opened up to a giant dance floor, the walls were lined with bars where the bartenders wore all black, barely there outfits but even Anya had to admit they looked good and not trashy. The music wasn't exactly their scene but it looked like everyone else was enjoying themselves. "Looks like we're getting the VIP treatment." Raven laughed as she put her arms around Anya and Lexa and led them towards the booths that the boys were now sitting at.

"Where did those crazy kids get off to?" Anya asked as they looked around the crowded club for Octavia and Clarke.

"By the bar." Ryder pointed out causing everyone to look try and follow his pointed finger.

Lexa smiled as she saw what looked like Clarke, Octavia and Costia taking shots with a couple of the bartenders. "What have I missed in the last few years?" Lexa asked Raven as they sat down on the couch.

"She worked her for a little bit. She had to keep herself busy and I think eventually she got to really enjoy it so she stayed." Lexa nodded in understanding.

"Come on, lets go dance."

Lexa nodded at Raven and nodded for Anya to come with them. "Damn you're girlfriend is hot." Anya spoke into Lexa's ear, barely audible over the music.

"Everyone else seems to think so too." Lexa smiled as they made their way through the crowd to where Raven had spotted the other ladies dancing. When they got close enough Lexa had to shake her head and focus her eyes. Her ex-fiance was dancing mighty close with her girlfriend. Hands were in the air and hips were moving in rhythm with the music. Even though she didn't want to admit it, Lexa was a little jealous, even though she knew she shouldn't be.

Moving closer she saw the blonde smile at her and give her an eager expression. Reaching a hand out to her, one that Lexa gladly accepted. As Clarke pulled her forward a taller woman, brought them over shots and handed one to each of them. They all held the glasses up before taking the shot and setting them on a nearby table. The woman gave Clarke a hug before they kissed each others cheeks and in that moment Lexa knew who this mystery woman was.

"Babe, this is Niylah." She heard Clarke speak into her ear, breaking her from her trance. All Lexa could do was smile and even then she wasn't sure the woman had seen it with the strobe lights going.

As if on cue as the bass dropped, Clarke, Octavia, Costia, Niylah and even Raven started pumping their fists in the air.

XOXO

Fifteen minutes later they were all sitting back on the couch in their VIP booth when Niylah walked over with another tray of drinks. Setting the tray down she started dancing with Octavia before turning her attention towards Clarke. With a smirk the blonde got up off the couch and started dancing. It didn't take long for Octavia to drag them back out onto the dance floor.

"Am I sensing a little jealousy?" Anya joked as she nudged her best friend.

"Hmm? No, I'm never jealous."

Anya raised an eyebrow. "Except that you are right now."

"She's just mesmerizing." Lexa spoke softly as her eyes connected with her girlfriends across the room. "I don't deserve her."

"Go get your girl Commander and show this place how to really dance." Smiling Lexa stood up and made her way through the crowd. Once she got close enough Clarke moved away from the other ladies and wrapped an arm around Lexa's neck.

"I love you." Clarke slurred with a smile on her face.

"I love you too."

XOXO

The limo ride home had been entertaining but once they got back to Clarke's the boys all decided to head home, leaving the ladies alone to have their own after party.

"Give the person to your right a lap dance." Raven read the playing card of the drinking game they were playing out loud for Costia.

Looking next to her Costia smiled at Clarke. "Are you sure?"

"Rules are rules." Clarke grinned.

Chugging the rest of her drink, as if she wasn't already drunk enough Costia put a hand on Clarke's shoulder before gyrating her hips over the blonde. The dance lasted almost a full song until the chorus of laughter started.

Ten minutes later Lexa was standing in the kitchen grabbing the ice cream cake out of the freezer when she turned around to see Costia sitting on the counter behind her. "Don't even try and tell me to get off the counter." She grinned as she sipped her drink.

"You're having fun."

"I get it now. Why you missed her so much, it was never the same. You're all different around her and I completely get why."

"Does she know you have a crush on her?" Lexa asked, a smile still on her face.

Costia shook her head. "How did you know?" Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Fair but no and it's completely innocent I promise but she's an amazing person. I'm sorry I could never see that before. You two are meant to be though, the way you look at each other is electric, don't fuck it up or I'll have to come in for the steal." Costia winked which only made Lexa roll her eyes.

"Whatever, grab some forks."

XOXO

They had destroyed Octavia's ice cream cake. Following tradition they ate each dug in with their own forks, never bothering to cut the cake up. It was clear they were all extremely intoxicated and maybe that's what led to Lexa dancing on Clarke's lap.

Her hips rolled with the beat and the way her eyes connected with Clarke's. She let her hands drag up and down Clarke's legs as the blonde rested her arms on Lexa's shoulders. "Would you two get a room." Lexa looked over at her best friend as if to ask her why the fuck she had interrupted her. "We all know you can dance Commander."

"Actually I didn't know she could do that." Costia laughed as she sat back on the couch.

"Where do you think the birthday lap dance tradition started." Octavia joked. "But I am officially to drunk to function so I'm going to bed! G'night my beautiful people."

XOXO

"I hate that there are so many people asleep in my house right now." Clarke husked into Lexa's ear as they stood in Clarke's bathroom brushing their teeth.

"Mm, and why's that?"

"Because you're incredibly hot when you get jealous."

Lexa shook her head. "I wasn't jealous."

Clarke gave her a look. "Yes you were, but it's okay because at the end of the day it's you and only you that's in my bed. No one has anything on you baby."

"I believe that's the other way around but I can't help it, Octavia was right, Niylah is attractive."

"Her and I are friends and were just friends who had some fun." Clarke ran her fingertips along Lexa's stomach under her shirt before they made their way back into Clarke's room.

Lexa nodded before Clarke pushed her down onto the bed and straddled her lap. Kissing her neck she smiled before getting up and grabbing her phone. She hit the play button and quietly started playing a song she knew Lexa loved. "My turn." Clarke grinned as she took her shirt off and threw it across the room before she started dancing in front of her girlfriend. Lexa's breath hitched as Clarke ground her hips down on top of Lexa who was leaning back on the bed on her forearms. It didn't take much longer for Clarke to lose her pants. Her hips still moved with the beat as she sat down on Lexa's lap and started kissing up and down her neck. She softly bit the brunette's ear lobe as she body rolled from where she sat on her lap.

Lexa's hands made their way to Clarke's hips and with one final move she rolled them both over. Leaning back slightly she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor with Clarke's.

"I hope you know as soon as we aren't in a house full of people you are all mine Griffin."

Clarke grinned devilishly. "I look forward to it, now take these off and come cuddle." She said, referring to the pants Lexa was still wearing.

"Whatever you want pretty girl."

TBC… 


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

"Let me just change real quick and we can be on our way." Lexa said as she held the door open for her friends. They hadn't seen each other since that night at the bar which was far to long ago.

"Aren't you going to clear it with Clarke first?"

"Clarke's working tonight and she'd roll her eyes at me and tell me she doesn't care what I do." Both women with Lexa laughed. "What?"

"Just a change, love Costia, she's our girl too but she was a little sensitive in that department."

Lexa rolled her eyes as they all moved further into Lexa's condo. "We all hung out together."

"That's because Costia always decided to come with. That's how she ended up being our friend in the first place so I suppose we shouldn't be that surprised. Remember her sitting down next to us in the stacks because you had the text book she wanted to use."

They all laughed at the memory before it went quiet allowing them to hear the music coming from upstairs and what sounded like running water. Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Well I guess Clarke is home, unless Octavia took the key again."

Before Lexa could head up the stairs to change and warn whomever it was that was upstairs all the women in the room turned towards the person slightly dancing down the stairs in nothing but a towel. Wet blonde hair pulled to one side. In that moment Lexa almost wanted to tell her friends to get the hell out so that she could do exactly what she was thinking.

"Hi." Clarke smiled as she finally looked up from where she was walking. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be home so soon."

"It's okay, I thought the same of you." Lexa walked a few steps forward and kissed her girlfriends cheek. Clarke you remember the ladies, Jamie and Chrisine."

Clarke laughed slightly before extending her hand to each other of them. "Yeah, it's a little foggy thanks to the drinks but I do remember winning a great dinner that night so thank you. You staying in or heading out?"

"We're thinking drinks at this place I know of on Ninth and Adelaide." Jamie said with a smile.

Clarke nodded. "Two cats?" She asked.

"That's the one, you know it?" Jamie had to admit she was impressed.

"I do, probably to well. Anyways, I will leave you ladies to it. I'm going to go put on something that isn't a towel. Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do." Clarke wiggled her eyes as she walked up the stairs.

"Not leaving yet, I have to change." Lexa grinned as she watched Clarke walk up the stairs, absentmindedly singing along to the song. "Stop staring at my girlfriend's ass." Lexa joked.

"She's got a nice one, not our fault." They all started laughing at Jamie's comment. "She should come with us."

"What happened to just us going out?" Lexa questioned with the shake of her head.

Christine shrugged. "I agree with Jamie, she should come, it'd be nice to finally get to really meet her plus she totally didn't care if you went out without her."

"I told you she wouldn't care but she just finished a 72 hour shift I don't think she'll want to." Lexa let out as if neither of her friends ever listened to her.

"Go convince her to come out!" Jamie shooed her away with a laugh. "We want to hang out with the snufalufagus."

XOXO

Lexa leaned against the doorframe to her washroom where Clarke was changing. "Now that is a view I could definitely get used to." She grinned as she moved towards Clarke and ran her fingers up the woman's bare legs from behind.

"Better be careful or I'll have to keep you here all to myself." Clarke quipped as she turned around in Lexa's arms.

"You know, I think I'd be okay with that." Leaning up Clarke kissed Lexa softly, barely biting at the slightly taller woman's lower lip.

"Go get changed and stop keeping your friends waiting." Clarke winked before moving out of Lexa's embrace with a laugh.

"Actually they sent me up here to see if you'd like to come with us." Clarke smiled from next to Lexa's bed where she was about to put on a pair of sweat pants. "I know you're probably tired and don't want to but they told me to convince you to come."

"I guess I won't be getting to put these on just yet then."

"So you'll come?"

Clarke nodded. "If your sure it's what they want. I'm definitely more than happy to netflix and chill with Ben and Jerry."

"I know, but they really do want you to come."

"Okay, then I will, now get changed over there because you know what will happen if we're both half naked and in close proximity."

"You're no fun." Lexa laughed as she moved into her walk in closet.

XOXO

"All through law school we made fun of her because we didn't think you were real." Jamie laughed as she handed Clarke her drink.

"Even though I had that picture of you and Alfred as the background on my phone."

Christine shrugged. "We thought it was a random picture you found on the internet."

"We really should have figured it out when all she did was talk about you but we didn't think anyone could put up with her for that long."

Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "You're telling me, I've had to put up with her my entire life."

"So you two are officially back together?"

Christine asked and was quickly answered by the smile that took over Lexa's face. "We are."

"No chance for me then?" Jamie smiled at Clarke causing Lexa to roll her eyes.

"You're a lifetime to late." Lexa joked as her and Clarke locked eyes before Lexa started singing along to the song.

Christine was about to say something to Clarke about Lexa but she stopped herself when she realized Clarke was singing along with her. "You two are seriously meant to be."

Two hours later all four ladies were practically crying from laughter from all the stories they had been telling when a certain song started to play. Jamie's eyes lit up as she started mouthing the words before they started. "Go up there and sing it!" Christine joked.

Finishing her beer Clarke shrugged and put her hand out to Jamie. "C'mon girlie, let's do this!"

"I am not drunk enough for this." Jamie grinned as she let Clarke pull her up onto the stage.

"That makes it more fun." Clarke grabbed the microphone and held it between them.

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many times thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong."

Lexa and Christine burst out into laughter from where they sat on their bar stools. "I think I say this for both of us but we really like her. Had we met her sooner we never would have let you be stupid enough to let her go. There's no way that woman would ever cheat on you."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"The way she looks at you like she'd jump in front of a bullet for you without hesitation."

"She'd do that for just about anyone." Lexa smiled as she watched Clarke start to saunter over to her, mic in hand.

Christine shook her head. "You know it's different."

Before Lexa could respond she heard loud singing in her ear. "Walk out the door, just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one that tried to break me with goodbye, you think I'd crumble. You think I'd laid down and die oh no not I. I will survive." Clarke sang with her arm around Lexa's shoulder before kissing the top of her head and walking away again.

 **XOXO**

"My friends love you." Lexa grinned as Clarke sat down next to her on the couch. They had gotten home not to long ago and had decided on watching a movie after they changed into their pajamas.

Clarke's cheeks turned a little red. "I like them too, we definitely need to all go out more. We're getting older, we need to stop working our lives away."

Lexa shook her head with a small laugh as Clarke leaned a tired head down on her shoulder. "You love work though."

"So do you."

They laughed knowing how true it was. "I really love having you here after a long day. Whether it's my place or your place I just like knowing that we can relax after busy days."

"I love it to, it reminds me of our college days."

Lexa couldn't hide the smile as she remembered their crazy weeks in college. "I swear there were days where I only saw you because we slept in the same bed."

"Or that time you came home to find me redecorating."

"I still don't think I agreed to that."

Clarke nodded. "You did, you were just half asleep but you liked the way it turned out so you can't say anything."

"Besides the point."

"That seems like another life time ago."

Lexa agreed as she leaned back on the couch and brought Clarke with her. "It was but I'm glad it's all coming full circle."

"Mmm." Was all Clarke could get out once her head with resting comfortably on Lexa's chest.

XOXOUSC – Senior Year

 _It felt like Lexa hadn't really been home in days. She had been so consumed with studying for her LSATS that she had been essentially living out of the library. She took the last step up to her floor with a tired huff. All she wanted was to fall asleep in her bed for a week and wake up to her smiling girlfriend._

 _As she got close to their apartment door she heard the faint sound of music playing. She did a quick checklist in her head to make sure she hadn't forgotten if her best friends were visiting. Coming to the conclusion that they hadn't had anything planned she opened the door to see her apartment taped up and half painted. The sun was pouring in through the wide-open balcony door and it hit her that she hadn't seen the light of day in awhile._

 _She had no idea what day it was or how long she'd been truly gone for but what she did was how amazing her girlfriend was. It wasn't only her beauty but her heart. The way her hair sat messily atop her head as she bopped around to the sound of the music while she painted. It was a sight Lexa was positive she'd never get over. Clarke had always been this way, ever since Lexa could remember. In fact the first memory Lexa had of Clarke was her finger painting in her backyard with Jake. Alfred was running around and Lexa wasn't sure why she remembered it all so vividly, that is until that moment._

 _Clarke finally turned around and her eyes locked with the Lexa's as the sun continued you to beam through the window. It illuminated Clarke's blonde hair and her eyes looked like the clearest blue Lexa had ever seen. That was it, all those years ago it had stuck with her and she had never known why but now it was all clear. It was the way Clarke's eyes seemed to glow in the sunlight when she was in her happy place, painting and dancing around the room. It was in that moment, Lexa realized, that she had fallen for Clarke. There was no way she could have placed that emotion then but here and now, she most certainly could._

" _I'm sorry who are you and why are you standing in my apartment?"_

 _Lexa grinned as she finally set her bag down. "I think I live here but I'm not sure, it's been awhile and it doesn't look the same." Without waiting for Clarke to respond she surged forward and wrapped the woman in her arms before twirling her around._

" _Do you like it?"_

" _I do but you should have told me, I would have helped."_

" _We talked about it weeks ago silly."_

 _Lexa started to replay past conversations in her head as she continued to dance with Clarke. "Oh my god, we did. I am so sorry I forgot, I'm the worst."_

" _It's okay, you've been studying, plus I don't trust you with paint."_

" _Gee thanks! You do realize one wall is completely blank right?"_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes as both women fell onto the couch facing the empty wall. "I'm well aware, I haven't figured out what I want to put there yet. Any ideas?"_

 _Lexa looked at the wall, she looked at that wall for what felt like forever. She didn't look away from it until Clarke popped up and grabbed one of her many paintbrushes. Lexa was entirely puzzled but she wouldn't question her girlfriend just yet. Once Clarke had stepped away from the wall Lexa saw what she had done._

" _I don't get it." Written on the wall were the lyrics to Earth, Wind and Fire's song September._

 _Clarke shook her head and set her paintbrush down before taking her paint stained t-shirt off and walking over to the kitchen. She knew Lexa would get it eventually but in the mean time it was fun to watch her squirm. She jumped up onto the counter and opened the fridge. By the time it took her to open the bottle of water that was now in her hand she saw Lexa's eyes start to light up._

 _Laughing, Lexa walked towards her girlfriend who was swinging her legs off the edge of the counter. "I could never forget the 21_ _st_ _day of September because my entire world changed that day and it was the start of me getting everything I could ever want. It will forever be in my heart as the best non-official first date ever but don't tell Anya and Raven."_

" _No matter where we end up, wherever life takes us the memory of that night will always stay with me and it will remind me to never take moment for granted."_

 _XOXO_

It had been two weeks since Lexa and Clarke had gone to the bar with Lexa's friends. It had also been two weeks since they had really seen it each other. More often than not they had found themselves falling asleep on the phone with each other from opposite sides of town. Clarke was on nights and Lexa had needed to be at the office early in the morning to deal with calls from Asia and Europe.

They had been communicating more through Octavia than they had with each other. Lexa and Octavia would had their scheduled workouts and then, hours later Octavia would meet Clarke for dinner.

"I have missed just lying around and not paying attention to what's on the t.v." Clarke laughed as she leaned her head up from Lexa's lap.

It took a minute for Lexa to look away from her phone. "Sorry, I'm just creepin'."

"Oh, on who? Anyone hot?" Clarke wiggled her eyebrows, successfully making Lexa laugh.

"I'd say so."

Without hesitating Clarke leaned up and pulled Lexa's arms forward so that she could see whom the brunette was talking about. "Me? You're creeping me?"

"I've missed a lot, but damn this picture is beautiful. Where were you?" Clarke rolled her eyes at the picture of her in a bikini on a boat. Hair a complete mess from the wind.

"The Blake's cottage in the Hamptons. I'll take you there this summer. It's where Bellamy technically lives when he's home. It's nothing fancy but it's close-ish to the beach."

"I can't wait, but seriously this picture is beautiful and the one of you in that red plaid shirt with Octavia. I am a seriously lucky woman."

Clarke smiled and kissed her girlfriend softly. "That was from a barbeque on the rooftop a couple summers ago at my place."

"Can't wait for one of those." A pause. "There will be more right?"

"Yes sweetie, of course and a lot of long nights watching the sunset."

"Now that, I can't wait for."

Clarke chuckled as she laid her head back down. "Me either. I used to have moments sometimes where I would be sitting up there with everyone and I would catch myself wondering where you were and if you were happy."

Lexa couldn't help the tears that were in her eyes. If you asked her about it now, she'd probably say it was from being exhausted but in reality it was because she knew exactly what Clarke was talking about. "I used to feel the same way. I picked up my phone so many times to text you but I was to stubborn."

"Stubborn ass." Clarke joked, sufficiently lightening the mood.

"You're one to talk." They both laughed knowing just how stubborn they were.

XOXO

"We really should have called first, she isn't expecting us for another couple days." Jeff whispered to his wife as they traveled up the elevator.

"Oh hush it Jeffrey, she's probably not even home. Why else would she give us a key?"

A minute later Elizabeth pushed Lexa's front door open and grinned. She had seen her daughter's place through face time calls and videos but it was much nicer in person. "I still don't feel right about this."

"You two are here early?" Lexa smiled from where she stood in the kitchen as she watched her parents walk through her front door. "You should have told me, I would have come and gotten you from the airport."

"No need sweetheart, we thought we'd surprise you." Elizabeth didn't waste another moment before wrapping her daughter in a tight hug before her father did the same.

"Come on, I'll give you a proper tour." Both her parents smiled before she moved in front of them and into the living room.

Elizabeth stopped dead in her tracks, causing Lexa to turn around when she didn't hear footsteps following her anymore. "Lexa, do you know there's a woman sleeping on your couch?"

Lexa smiled as she looked over at the blonde. "I do and please keep it down before you wake her, she doesn't get enough sleep."

"Is that the bar girl?" Her father asked, trying to figure out who was lying on his daughter's couch.

"It is."

"Would the bar girls name be Clarke?" Her mother asked, she'd know that sleeping form anywhere. Lexa blushed slightly with a nod. "Does this mean what I think it means?" Elizabeth questioned, trying desperately not to get her hopes up.

Lexa could feel how warm her cheeks had gotten and she could only imagine how red they looked to her parents. "It does, this is it for me."

"Oh Lexie, we're so happy for you guys." Her father wrapped her up in a hug and spun her around.

"We're not getting married dad, we're just back together but hopefully one day." She looked over at her mother who was wiping her face. "Mom, are you crying?"

The woman nodded slightly. "I always hoped for this, that you'd find your way back to one another. I can't wait to call and tell Abby but don't think you two are off the hook for not telling us."

"Sorry mom, I guess it slipped our mind." Came the groggy voice from the couch. It didn't take long for Clarke to get up and be engulfed in a Callaway family group hug.

"Lucky for both of you, we sort of figured it out at Christmas. You both aren't good at keeping secrets." Jeff laughed as she wrapped an arm around Clarke's shoulder.

"We didn't really know what was going on then but everyone else sure seems to have had it all figured out." Clarke shrugged as she watched Lexa nod in agreement. As Lexa looked between her parents and Clarke she knew without a doubt that everything that had happened in her life had led her to this moment and she couldn't have been happier.

TBC… 


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

"My mother just scolded me for a good half an hour, as if neither of us have better things to do. Like, you know, life saving surgeries!" Clarke rolled her eyes as she walked through her front door and slipped her shoes off.

"What did she scold you about?" Lexa asked into the phone as Clarke walked into her kitchen and made a face before hanging up her phone.

"How your parents found of first and that if I let you walk away from me again she'll kill us both and make it look like an accident."

Lexa leaned forward and kissed Clarke from across the kitchen island. "She did not say that."

"She did!"

"You've always been so over dramatic." Lexa shook her head before leaning back in the chair, watching Clarke move around the kitchen.

"Have not."

Lexa gave her a look. "You cried once because Alfred wouldn't cuddle with you!"

"I was six, how do you even remember that?"

Lexa smiled and shrugged. "I remember a lot."

"Whatever, I'm going to change into something more comfortable."

"Oh like, nothing at all? Should I do some stretches and prepare for a long night of hot sex?" She wiggled her eyes brows at the blonde who was already half way up the stairs.

"Keep dreaming love."

XOXO

"Pajama's? That's too much clothing." Lexa whined as Clarke walked back down the stairs twenty minutes later.

"Says the woman sitting in my Columbia sweater and," she paused and examined the sweat pants her girlfriend was wearing, "are those my god damn USC pants! I thought I lost those years ago!"

Lexa's cheeks turned pink as she bit the corner of her lip with a sheepish shrug. "Maybe these are mine."

Clarke gave her a squared look as she sat down on the couch. "Come here then and let's find out."

"What, how?" Lexa got up and walked over to where Clarke sat.

Clarke spun her finger around. "Turn around." Before Lexa was facing the opposite direction she felt Clarke tug at the waistband of the pants. "See, mine. The tag is cut out."

"That proves nothing." Lexa shrugged before sitting down and pulling Clarke's legs on top of hers.

"I always cut the tag out of my pants because they bother me and you always laugh at me for it. Plus I bet if I put my hand in the left pocket I'd find a hole in the top corner."

"Okay, fine they're yours, but I could never find mine so I kept yours. I was going to give them back in the box of stuff I left at your parents but I decided that these needed a good home."

Clarke squinted her eyes before she started laughing. "How much of my stuff will I find at your parents?"

"I have no idea, truthfully I didn't know what was mine and what was yours anymore. I'll admit it, I never fully got over you, got over us. I just sort of locked it in a box and kept it hidden away. I tried, but after the initial anger faded, there was always a small ache when your name got brought up. Especially around Christmas when I thought you might come home, I got so nervous and so anxious. It took a really long time for things to stop reminded me of you. I didn't have Petey's ice cream for a solid two years."

"You're lying. You love Petey's!" Clarke reached forward and took a hold of Lexa's hand.

"I swear, two solid years, if not more. I couldn't go in there and god knows I couldn't drive up to campus for Merry Dairy's either."

"We have a lot of places Miss Callaway but you shouldn't deprive yourself of ice cream for anyone, not even me." Lexa couldn't help but laugh.

"You're such an ice cream whore."

Clarke grinned, clearly proud of the statement. "So very true, and I for one am proud of it. I never could have given up Petey's or Merry Dairy's."

"Ugh, now even I want ice cream." Lexa whined.

The blonde got up and smiled excitedly. "Get your coat on, we're going for ice cream."

"Right now? Clarke, it's nearly ten at night."

"So, this is New York." She grinned as she put her coat on.

Lexa stood up and walked over to the hall closet. "Okay, but shouldn't we at least change out of our pajamas?"

"No need, come on."

XOXO

Ten minutes later they found themselves at the corner store where Clarke was now paying the owner three times more than the usual price for two cartons of ice cream. "You do realize how much you just paid for that right?" Lexa asked as they walked out of the store hand in hand.

"It's worth it, plus Richard has been good to me for a long time so I always give him a little extra."

"Why are we back at your place?" Lexa questioned as she looked up at Clarke's apartment.

Rolling her eyes the blonde pulled her up the stairs. With a final laugh Clarke pushed the door to the top floor of her apartment open. "Make yourself comfortable on the couch."

"Clarke it's pitch black up here." Lexa shook her head as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, the only light coming from the cityscape around them. A minute later she managed to find the couch that Clarke had been referring to. She looked up at the sky and admired the view of the stars before a bright light nearly blinded her. Looking up through half covered eyes she saw the big projected screen and then felt the cushion dip slightly next to her.

"What do you think?" Clarke asked as she pulled the blanket around them and slipped off her jacket. She didn't waste any more time before opening her tub of ice cream and digging in as the movie started to play.

Looking over at her girlfriend Lexa couldn't help the smile that played across her lips as she watched the woman shove a heaping spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "You are so incredible attractive and I think this is amazing." She cuddled up to the blonde who willingly gave her a spoonful of ice cream.

"I thought you'd like it. It's nicer when it's a bit warmer but I think I've got a pretty good cuddle buddy for the night."

"Says the girl devouring a tub of ice cream." Clarke shrugged and rolled her eyes as Lexa rested her head against her shoulder. "Can we stay like this always?"

"…And forever." Clarke finished as the butterflies swarmed her stomach and she got a tingly sensation all over.

XOXO

3 Years Later

She stepped off the plane and felt the warm California air hit her face. It had been to long since she had been home and it was far to cold in New York right now. She basked in the sun for a moment before making her way into the airport to pick up her luggage.

The minute she got into the cab she felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had waited for this for far to long, for what seemed like an eternity. Now all her hard work, long nights and determination had paid off.

A half an hour later she put her key into the door and shook her head when she realized the door hadn't been locked. Making her way through the house she realized that it was far to quiet and she didn't like it. Letting out a slight sigh she dropped her bags in the foyer and made her way further into the house. There were no lights on but the room was filled with light from the sun peaking its head through the back door.

Sliding the door open she took a step forward onto the wooden deck and looked out at the ocean. Took in the way it smelled, the way it looked, and most importantly how it made her feel. A noise drew her attention forward and it made her smile. Slipping off her shoes, she left them on the deck and made her way off the fenced deck, letting her feet sink into the warm sand.

In the distance she saw a silhouette walking towards. Smiling she picked up her pace until she could see the woman standing in front of her.

"Edgar look, mommy's home." The woman yelled as a fluffy border collie sprinted in their direction.

"And damn does it feel good to be home." Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and lifted her up. They kissed for a moment but it was cut short by sandy paws were jumping up onto her leg. Putting Clarke down Lexa grinned at the dog. "How's my boy doing? Did you take care of momma while I was gone Eddie?" The dog started to whimper and wag his tag as Lexa scratched behind his ear.

XOXO

New York City – 2.5 Years Ago

"Hey beautiful, is there anyway I can steal you away tonight?" Lexa asked as she spun back and forth in her chair at work.

She heard Clarke laugh and it made her smile. "I'm just finishing some paper work, so absolutely yes you can steal me away tonight."

"Perfect, meet you at Frankie's for six?"

Even though she couldn't see it Lexa knew Clarke was smiling. "I can't wait, I'll even shower for you."

"Fantastic, not that I don't love when you smell like blood and entrails." They both laughed before saying their 'I love you's' and hanging up.

XOXO

"Sorry I'm late, I over slept." Clarke said as she rushed towards her girlfriend and kissed her softly before sitting down.

"You don't have to apologize Clarke. I got us a bottle of wine, I figured you might want need it after a long week."

Clarke took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm going to need it alright."

"You alright love?"

"Mhmm, peachy, fine, fantastic really."

Lexa narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend with a knowing look as the waiter came back and poured them both a glass of wine. "Spit it out."

"Apparently I impressed a lot of people when I was back in L.A. The chief of surgery called me today and offered me a lot of money a really big research grant to be an attending there next year."

"You mean, your mom called you." Clarke nodded and downed her glass of wine.

"But I don't know what to do because I love it here, my life is here, but it's an amazing opportunity." Lexa continued to smile and Clarke couldn't figure out why because she might be moving across the country yet again. "Why are you smiling? You should be freaking out, I'm freaking out."

Lexa let out a soft laugh before reaching across the table and taking Clarke's hand in her own. "I'm smiling because I've known about this for two weeks and couldn't say anything. Your mom told me when I was home but she swore me to secrecy."

"Is that what this dinner is about?"

"Caught red handed. I figured we needed to celebrate."

"I didn't say I was taking it." Clarke noted as she played with Lexa's fingers.

The brunette smiled at her. "We're celebrating regardless because no matter what you choose to do I'll support you. I know how much you love New York and the hospital but I also know how much your research means to you. Besides, I love seeing you so excited, it's actual adorable."

"I love you, have I told you that lately?"

Lexa pretending to think for a minute. "Once or twice and I love you too." She held up her wine glass after she poured Clarke another glass. "To always and forever, no matter what it the future holds."

"To always and forever." Clarke grinned as they clinked glasses.

XOXO

"It's nice out, what do you say to a walk?" Lexa questioned, hoping that Clarke would agree even though she knew the woman was on her feet all day at work.

"A walk sounds lovely actually and we haven't been on a nice walk in a long time. Lead the way Miss. Callaway." Lexa couldn't wipe the smile off her face, it didn't matter how many times Clarke called her by her last name it always managed to make her grin. She put her arm out for Clarke to take, which the blonde did happily as they exited the restaurant. "I love that dress by the way." Clarke whispered in Lexa's ear.

"I should be the one saying that."

Clarke laughed as they took in the warm summer weather. "What can I say, we're just a modern day power couple."

Lexa smiled and looked up at the sky. "I think I've finally fallen in love with New York. I used to think of the skyscrapers as something to make me feel small but now I find an odd comfort in them. It's nice that when I leave work at eleven at night I can still find plenty of restaurants open."

Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "You would think with your stomach, this is why you and Octavia are friends. I'm scared to see how much you two eat after your workouts."

"Are you calling me fat?" Lexa looked over at Clarke with an amused expression.

The blonde shook her head, a big smile still on her face. "Nope, I love you just the way you are and you know what they say, more cushion for the pushin'." She wiggled her eyes brows and reached her hand down to discreetly grab Lexa's behind.

For most people the action may have been somewhat cute but for them it was nothing more than playful. They both burst out into a fit of laughter, making a group of girls that looked like they were about to head to a club look at them strangely, which only made them laugh harder.

"I think what I missed out on when I used to visit all the time is how seamlessly the cityscape leads to greenery." As if on cue they crossed the street and started to make their way through Central Park. "I feel like because I was only ever here for such short amounts of time, it was hard to appreciate everything. New York is so fast paced so to understand it in a weekend or a week, isn't enough."

"You really have fallen for this city haven't you? Should I be worried?" Clarke laughed as she leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder for a moment.

"Potentially." They both smiled at one another before falling into an easy silence. Things between them were always so comfortable that quiet didn't need to be filled with unnecessary noise.

"Why is it I feel like you're up to something?" Clarke asked as she looked at Lexa with a suspicious look.

Lexa shook her head in confusion. "We're literally just walking and I have to be up to something?"

"I've had the feeling you were up to something since you called."

"Trust issues, gosh." Lexa laughed as Clarke rolled her eyes.

It was at that moment that they rounded the corner of the park and the large outdoor screen came into sight. Clarke looked over at Lexa, a large smile on her face. The kind that made Lexa's heart speed up because she knew how excited and happy the blonde was.

"Tell me, we're here for a reason and this isn't something we've stumbled upon because I haven't been here in awhile."

"I said I wasn't up to anything. I meant it, this is pure chance." Lexa held a straight face and she saw the disappointment wash over Clarke's features. "But I mean, while we're here we might as well take it in. Movie date?"

The grin reappeared on Clarke's face. "Yes! Don't have to ask me twice. To our spot?"

"If you remember where it is." Before the words were out of her mouth Lexa felt a tug on her arm as Clarke pulled her along.

Two minutes later Clarke had successfully pulled Lexa across the lawn to a spot under a willow tree. It was the first place they had sat to watch an outdoor movie. It happened because by the time they had found the right part of the park the lawn was already full. So instead of sitting upfront they found a spot under the tree that was on a bit of a hill, giving them the perfect view. It had been their spot ever since.

"There's a blanket already there." Clarke groaned. "Who has the audacity to steal our spot." Lexa could only laugh at how red Clarke's cheeks were getting. "Our spot Lexa!" Clarke pointed to the blanket as Lexa let go of her hand and sat down.

"I don't see anyone sitting on it."

Clarke laughed, "and I'm the reckless, crazy one? You don't know who's blanket that is, this is New York, not L.A. Not everyone is peace loving, share everything here."

Lexa shook her head as she got comfortable on the blanket. Clarke was still standing in front of her, hand on her hip, looking around to see if she could spot who owned the blanket. She was lost in looking around when a familiar sound caught her ear causing her to whip her head towards the big screen. Her mouth fell open slightly and unbeknownst to her, Lexa wasn't watching the movie. In fact Lexa's eyes hadn't looked towards the screen since she had sat down on the blanket minutes ago. "This is my favourite movie! What a coincidence!"

Lexa smirked and waited for her girlfriend to put all the pieces together. "You were up to something, you knew this movie was playing! You sneaky mom!" Clarke yelled, even though it didn't sound like it above the sound of the movie.

"I may have known it was playing." Lexa shrugged as she leaned back on her forearms.

"This is your blanket?"

Lexa shook her head. "Nope, this is our blanket but if I don't get some warm up cuddles soon, I'm going to have to look elsewhere."

"You're the best!" Clarke squealed as she finally sat down and wrapped her arms around Lexa. "Best date night ever." She leaned up and kissed Lexa's cheek, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder as she eyes moved towards the screen.

XOXO

As the credits started to roll neither woman moved. Instead, they stayed wrapped up in one another as they watched the crowd start to leave. They both had their eyes on an elderly couple that were helping each other up with the most loving smiles.

"I want to be like them one day." Clarke let out as they continued to watch the couple.

"What, old?" Lexa joked, even though she knew it might kill the mood.

Rolling her eyes in typical Clarke Griffin fashion the blonde flicked at the brunette's stomach. "No loser, still as incredibly love as those two are, even after a lifetime."

"We won't be like them." Lexa said softly causing Clarke to look at her with a questioning look. "We're going to be so much better because we've been through everything together and I know what it's like to not have you in my life. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. Whenever you are is home to me, this world has always led me to you. At every step, at every turn, life has known what I have tended to forget. You're home to me, you're my second star to the right." She had to stop for a moment to compose herself. "I have loved you since we were kids, and I've never really stopped." The tears were now threatening to fall from Clarke's eyes as Lexa's hand came up to cup her cheek, softly running her thumb over a single tear. "Clarke Griffin will you marry me and let me love you for the rest of our days?"

Their eyes were locked on one another, neither realizing that a few people had stopped at a distance to watch what was going on. Clarke felt like her body was electric, like every fiber of her being was buzzing. The butterflies were erupted in her stomach, they were dancing on her skin and had she not known any better she would have thought she was in heaven. "Yes, a million times yes." Without wasting another moment she leaned forward and kissed her fiancé with more fervor and love that she ever had before.

Once they finally pulled back, Clarke looked down at Lexa's other hand and saw the most beautiful ring in the entire world sitting in a little blue box. "Lexa no, this can't be. How did you remember?"

Lexa smiled as she slipped the ring onto Clarke's finger. "Every time we went into Tiffany's to look around, you stopped and looked at this ring. Then I found out that every time you dragged Octavia in, you stopped to look at this ring."

"That was years ago." Once the words were out of her mouth, Clarke's jaw dropped, realization suddenly hitting her.

"It's not at the bottom of the sea."

Lexa shook her head. Tears filling her eyes. "I could never throw this ring into the sea, or the ocean. This is your ring, always and forever. There was never a moment when I thought that this ring wasn't perfect for you."

"You had it all this time?"

Lexa nodded. "Sort of, I had it somewhere for safe keeping. I have a secret to tell you, that no one knows except for one other person." Lexa took a deep breath in and looked up at the sky to steady herself before she continued. "You know how you were there when I graduated law school?" Clarke nodded, unsure of where this was going. "I was there when you graduated med school. Your mom told me about it and gave me a ticket to the ceremony. I wanted to congratulate you and wish you well the entire time I was sitting in the audience but I couldn't find the courage. God you looked for beautiful, so happy. You achieved your dreams and I was so proud of you." Her voice quivered and she wasn't sure she could go on without falling over her words. "When I got back to Laguna your mom and I had dinner at the house and that's when I gave her the ring. I told her that I wanted you to have it, that it belonged to you. I told her on the day that you brought someone home that you truly believed in and loved with all your heart, someone your dad would have approved of that she could give them this ring. We had dinner when I was back and before I left she gave me the ring back. She told me that I was the only one Jake would have approved of marrying his baby girl." Tears were streaming down both their eyes now and Clarke couldn't think of anything else to do other than to wrap her arms around Lexa's neck and kiss her.

"You're the best thing to ever happen to me Alexandra Callaway, and there's something that I want to show you."

XOXO

Lexa had tried to get an idea of what Clarke wanted to show her for the entire cab right but Clarke's lips were sealed.

"Why are we at Lincoln and Octavia's?"

Clarke grinned and pulled Lexa out of the cab as the brunette paid the driver. "Because what I want to show you is here."

"How is what you want to show me here? Didn't you move out years again?"

Clarke could only laugh at the adorable confused look Lexa had on her face. "Because it is and yes I did." She pulled out her keys and opened the door to the apartment. "Don't mind us, just need to get something, really hope you aren't having sex on the windowsill again." Clarke yelled out as they walked into the apartment. Lexa gave her a curious look to which she shook her head to. "Don't ask."

A moment later Lexa was sitting on the bed in the now guest room as Clarke dug around in the closet. "There's nothing in there love, I cleaned it out at Octavia's request when I moved in." Though she couldn't see it, Lexa was certain Clarke had just rolled her eyes.

"Ha! Here it is!"

"A shoebox? Why did we come all this way for you to show me shoes?"

Rolling her eyes, this time so Lexa could see, Clarke kissed her girlfriends forehead and pulled her up and out the bedroom door. "Bye, love you, call you later." Clarke called out as her and Lexa rushed out of the apartment leaving a very confused Lincoln sitting on the couch.

"So you aren't even going to show me this here?" Clarke shook her head as she hailed a cab.

"Nope, gotta wait 'til we get home."

XOXO

"Can we please open it now?" Lexa pouted from where she sat on Clarke's couch. Clarke nodded as she sat down next to her fiancé on the couch. Taking the box off the table she pushed it towards Lexa and took a deep breath. Something that Lexa hadn't missed. "This isn't a pair of shoes is it?"

Clarke shook her head. "No, I mean it was at one point but it's not now. I don't even have those shoes anymore."

Lexa leaned over the box and kissed Clarke softly, hoping to help settle the woman's nerves before sitting back down and taking the lid off the old shoebox. Lexa wasn't sure if her heart was about to stop or beat out of her chest as she looked down. There were tears in her eyes when she finally looked back up at Clarke who was eyeing her nervously. "You saved all of this?"

Clarke could only nod as she watched Lexa sift through the box of paper clippings and magazine articles. Each one and everyone one was about Lexa. "I couldn't escape you either. Everywhere I turned you'd be there looking back at me from a magazine. Or someone would jokingly ask if I knew you because we were both from Laguna and every time they said yes and I told them how proud we all were of you, how proud I was. I may have been here in New York but that didn't stop the world from trying to tell me something. One day I started to collect it all, hoping that maybe if I literally put it in a box and put it out of sight that it would help."

"Did it?" Lexa asked as she reached for Clarke's hand and kissed the inside of her wrist.

"For a little while, and then I got the offer and moved back to California and then…"

"… I showed up in your E.R." Lexa finished. Clarke smiled through her tears as Lexa lifted a picture of herself from a magazine out of the box and wiggled her eyebrows while mouthing, 'I look hot in this picture'.

"I don't know if I was more pissed that you were invading my Lexa free space or worried that you had been in an accident."

"You were worried?" Lexa questioning, setting the box back onto the table and gently pulling Clarke into her lap. "Because you certainly didn't show it."

"That's because I had your chart in my hand and was checking your vitals. Internally I freaked a little."

"Well you can walk into my favourite coffee shop any time you like."

Clarke grinned at Lexa's comment and leaned her head against the woman's shoulder. "The Beacher is all the way in Laguna."

Lexa smiled. "Soon you'll be back there, sipping on my coffee while I slave over boring business documents."

"You mean you still want to be engaged to me, even if I take that offer?"

"Clarke Griffin, the only time I wouldn't want to be engaged to you is if you didn't take that offer. We'll figure it out like we always do, together." Clarke could only look up at Lexa, words failing her. "What is it?"

Moving off Lexa's lap Clarke sat back down on the couch. She reached up for the clasp of the necklace she had been wearing that was hiding under her shirt.

"Alexandra Callaway, will you marry me and let me love you like I mean it for always and forever?" Lexa's eye lit up as she saw the ring in Clarke's hand.

"You've had it since the accident? I've been looking all over for it!" Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Oh my god, yes, of course I will, I mean I did kind of propose to you a couple of hours ago." Lexa jumped into Clarke's lap and instantly felt warm hands on her hips. Without wasting another moment Lexa kissed Clarke and only broke away when her smile got to big.

"For the record yes, I've had it since then. If you get to scare the living crap out of me, I get to do whatever I want. Should we face time our parents?"

"I suppose we probably should but since we're in the dog house with your mom we should call her first. She is expecting the call after all." Lexa flipped her hair to one side as Clarke hit the face time call button on her phone.

A few moments later they saw Abby's face over the phone. "Hi girls." She grinned once she realized her daughter wasn't alone. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Mom, are you at the Callaway's?" Clarke asked, noticing the background.

Her mother smiled and held up a glass of wine. "Yes I am."

"Even better, can you grab my parents too?"

Clarke and Lexa shared a look as Abby turned her head. "Jeff, Liz, the girls are on the phone I think she finally did it!" She yelled through the house making both daughters continue to shake their heads.

"Hi my babies." Liz cooed as she squeezed into the frame with Abby.

Clarke and Lexa both waved as they started laughing at Jeff trying to get into the screen but being completely unsuccessful. "Hi parents." Lexa said, a big goofy grin on her face.

"Abby said you girls wanted to tell us something?" Jeff said, even though his head was out of the frame.

Looking at each other and then back at the camera they nodded. "Actually it's two things." Clarke started.

"The first thing is that Clarke is going to be moving back to Laguna."

Abby's eyes lit up. "Does that mean you're accepting my offer?" Clarke nodded with a laugh. "Ha! See Liz, I told you it would work. Perks of hiring your very talented daughter, you know all her weaknesses that she can't refuse. Wait what does that mean for you two?"

"This better not be a breakup, we're just friends call because I swear I will jump on a plane right now and whoop both your asses!" Elizabeth let out without thinking twice.

"Easy mom, this isn't a breakup call."

"Actually it's very much the latter." At that both women held up their hands so that their parents could clearly see the rings.

"You did it. You finally did it! Great job kiddo. I'm so proud of you, I can't wait to bear hug you both!" Jeff called out, still trying to figure out how to get into proper view.

Abby and Liz high-fived after clinking their wine glasses. "We can't wait to start wedding planning." They said in unison causing Lexa to give Clarke a look only to have the blonde return the same look.

"On that note, we need to go and call Raven, Octavia and Anya before you three spread the word around Laguna. Love you guys." Clarke rushed off the phone, only giving Lexa time to say a quick love you to their parents.

"We're going to need some wine for this next one." Lexa said as she pushed on Clarke's leg to help herself up.

"Wine? Sweetie, we're going to need some strong shots!"

Lexa snapped her fingers with a nod as she walked into the kitchen. "Send the appropriate text messages."

Ten minutes later Octavia was busting into apartment as their computer sat on the coffee table, connected to Raven and Anya.

"Holy fuck, that thing is as huge as I remember it! I can see it shimmering from all the way over here!" Octavia yelled the minute she walked into the room and saw Clarke's hand.

"Clarkey what the fuck is she referring to?" Raven had never looked so serious in her entire life.

Taking her hand back from Octavia Clarke showed her hand to the camera. "Lexa you little shit head, I knew you didn't throw that into the sea. Asshat."

"Holy fuck times two!" Octavia yelled making Raven and Anya give the other two a questioning look.

Smiling Lexa held her hand up so they could see the ring. "Griffin's got game, face time props!" Raven cheered as she and Clarke did some weird version face time version of a secret handshake.

"You both owe me fifty bucks." Anya grinned.

"Do you guys ever not bet on us?!" Lexa asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Hell no, I make easy money where I can." Anya shrugged as both Raven and Octavia. "Seriously though, I have been waiting for this moment since we were all in pre-school. I'm proud of you both and I can't wait to be apart of all the wedding craziness because I will be in the wedding party."

"That goes for us too." Raven said as she pointed from herself to the screen.

"Wait O, how did you get here to fast?" Clarke sat confused as Octavia sat drooling over Lexa's ring.

She waved her hand. "Lincoln called and told me you got the box, I've been waiting down the street in my squad car since then."

Shaking her head Clarke could only laugh. "Okay, we're hanging up now and you," she pointed at Octavia, "are getting the hell out of my house and going back to work because my fiancé and I need to have celebratory sex." Without proper goodbyes both Anya and Raven hung up on their side and before Clarke could say anything word Octavia was literally running for the door.

XOXO

The next morning Clarke woke up with an arm sprawled lazily across her bare waist. The smell of fresh peaches filled her noise as the sun peaked through the curtains. A minute later she felt the body on top of her stretch slightly before yawning. She smiled as Lexa placed a soft kiss on her shoulder. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life waking up like this." Clarke grumbled in her sleepy voice.

"Mmm, me either baby girl."

They both drifted back to sleep, tired from all of the events the night before and both finally at peace. It had been a long and winding road but they both knew that even on their worst days that deep down this is where they were meant to be.

The End

 **A/N:** **Wow, so this is the end of the road. I can not thank you all enough for all your amazing feedback and sticking this crazy long fic out with me. You are all simply wonderful and I truly am still in awe that so many of you like this story as much as you do. The out pouring of love never ceases to amaze me and it certainly wouldn't have lasted as long as it has without all of you. I hope I did you all proud and I'm sure I'll be back with someone new very soon but until then, so long friends.**


	46. Chapter 46

Epilogue

 _New York City – Before the wedding_

" _Where should we get married?" Clarke asked as she ran her fingertips along the tattoo on Lexa's back._

 _A moment of silence passed as both women smiled at the thought that they were finally getting married. "Here."_

" _In my apartment?" Clarke asked, knowing full well that that wasn't what Lexa meant._

 _Rolling onto her back, her eyes still closed Lexa grinned. "No smart ass, here in New York."_

" _You don't want to have the wedding in Laguna?"_

 _Lexa finally opened her eyes to see blue ones looking back at her. "Laguna is who we were, New York is who we are now. The older, wiser, more sophisticated us."_

 _Clarke's grin got wider. "We're getting married!" She leaned down and kissed her fiancé who pulled her in a little closer._

 _XOXO_

" _You're getting married, you're getting married." Octavia yelled as she danced around Clarke's apartment where there were wedding magazines spread out on almost every table._

" _I'm not sure who's more excited, me or you. Especially considering you've been engaged for awhile now."_

"Yeah but we like being engaged, you two can't be engaged for long because god knows one of you will do something stupid to piss the other one off." Clarke rolled her eyes as Octavia finally sat down next to her. "Okay but the most important question, who's moving in with who?"

"We haven't really talked about it yet, but I guess I'll move in with her, since I'll be the one leaving the city."

XOXO

"You aren't moving in with me." Clarke looked up from her desk as Lexa walked through the front door of Clarke's apartment.

"I'm sorry?"

"You aren't moving in with me because you aren't selling this place!" Lexa's hair was in a messy bun, dressed in her running attire, her hands were now on her thighs as she tried to catch her breath.

"What are you talking about?"

Lexa shook her head, finally catching her breath. "I just went on a run with Octavia and she told me that you figured you'd move in with me but you can't."

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

"Because this place is yours, this is you from top to bottom I won't let you leave that and if you don't want me to live here while you're gone we'll just keep both places."

Clarke finally stood up from her desk and moved towards her fiancé. "I'd hug you but you're sweaty and gross. We can keep both places if you want but you are more than welcome to live here. When I bought this place I kind of secretly envisioned you loving it as much as me so it only makes sense."

"Then it's settled, we're moving in together." Lexa grinned, wrapping her arms around Clarke and pulling her in for a hug.

"We're moving in together and we're going to go consummate that in the shower because you really are sweaty. It's worse than when you hug me after you catch a good wave." Both women laughed remembering all the times a very drenched Lexa would hug a very dry Clarke after catching a good wave and riding it to shore.

 **XOXO**

Laguna Beach

"Jesus Christ, I can your guys' stupid music down the street." Octavia shouted over the music as she let herself into Clarke and Lexa's home. The only response she got was Edgar rushing towards her, tail wagging happily. "At least someone around here loves their auntie." A moment later the door opened again and Edgar moved away from Octavia and started to whimper. "And their uncle apparently. I'm chopped liver, even to the dog."

Lincoln shook his head at her as they moved further into the house. The sounds of Mo Money, Mo Problems blasting throughout the entire house. Octavia could only shake her head as she finally saw why her best friends weren't acknowledging her presence. There in the middle of their living room stood the happily married couple dancing and singing to each other, using wooden stirring spoons as microphones.

Octavia and Lincoln stood there for another minute before they joined in on their friend's fun. Only then did Clarke and Lexa noticed the other couple. Once they stopped dancing, Lexa reached for the stereo remote and turned down the music as her wife hugged her best friend.

"You two are perfect for each other, you know that right?"

Clarke wrapped her arms around her wife's waist and grinned. "Yeah we know, that's why we got married O. How was your honey moon?"

Lincoln grinned. "Amazing, Hawaii is beautiful. Thanks for the gift you two it was amazing."

"What he said, now I'm hungry. What's for dinner?"

Lexa raised an eyebrow as she turned her head and kissed her wife's cheek. "There's food on my plane, I know that much so how can you be hungry."

"Hi I'm Octavia, I don't think we've met before." The woman stuck her hand out, only to get an eye roll back.

"Fine, I'll go start the barbeque." Lexa huffed as she moved towards the back door of the house. "You coming Eddy?" Sure enough a moment later there was a dog sprinting towards the back door.

"I'm going to go and help since I'm sure you two will talk like I'm not in the room regardless." Lincoln said as he too made his way outside behind Lexa.

"Tell me all about the honeymoon." Clarke grinned and she and Octavia sat down on the couch.

Octavia shook her head. "It was a honeymoon, we had a lot of sex, tell me about married life. How's having her home finally?"

Clarke couldn't help but grin, a grin so big it went way passed her eyes. "It's amazing, I feel like everything we ever wanted we have, everything we ever dreamed of came true and then some. Having her home is amazing and I am never letting her leave for longer than a week again."

"Why a week?" Octavia questioned.

"Okay maybe two, because god knows you and I are going to need to get away from there every now and again." Both women laughed knowing just how true that was.

 **XOXO**

New York – Wedding Day

"You're getting married today." Octavia grinned as she and Raven helped Clarke into the final touches of her dress.

"I'm getting married today."

Raven rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Please you two have been married since sophomore year of college. You're just finally making it legal."

"You're only saying that so you don't burst into a fit of tears before we even walk down the aisle."

Without saying a word Raven gave her best friend the middle finger. Clarke was about to make a smart-ass comment when the door to their bridal suite opened.

"There's our beautiful girl." Abby grinned with Elizabeth in tow.

"Pretty sure Lexa might take offense to that."

Elizabeth grinned. "Nah, we just told her the same thing." Clarke smiled at the thought of her fiancé getting ready.

"You really do look beautiful honey, your father would have been a wreck."

Clarke nodded with somewhat of a sad smile. "I suppose he called all of this didn't he? As much as you two wanted it. Dad was the one to tell me at ten years old that I better learn to love Lexa because one day I'd marry her."

"Thank the heaven's he's working his magic up there still because you two still fight like cats and dogs." Elizabeth added for good measure as she kissed Clarke's cheeks. "I better get back to my other daughter because she kills Anya for a strand of hair being out of place."

XOXO

"You look amazing, stop worrying. She's already agreed to marry your dumb ass. If a single hair isn't in place I don't think she'll care."

"Are you really going to give me the ' you fucked up' speech again? Pretty sure I finally woke up, smelled the Anya and fixed it."

Anya's face was stoic before she burst into laughter. "Took you long enough, we should have been going through this years ago."

"But it feels right now, like this is where we're meant to be."

Anya rolled her eyes. "Sappy Lexa, right on queue. I swear you better hold it together out there or I will never let you live it down."

"It's my wedding day, I'll cry if I want to jerk. Forget you, where are Raven and Echo?"

"Raven is probably helping Clarke, convincing her that marrying you is a good idea. Which we all aren't sure it is." Echo grinned as she walked through the door. "And I just went to check on everything else before Anya skins everyone alive for not having things perfect."

Lexa threw a knowing look in Anya's direction. "What? When you're two best friends are finally getting married you want everything to be perfect besides if I don't do it then Octavia will."

Lexa rolled her eyes with a huff. "I hate that you two are friends."

 **XOXO**

"Mmm, I love waking up to you in my shirt." Clarke grinned as she wrapped her arms around her wife's waist from behind as they stood on their deck facing the ocean.

Lexa leaned her head gently against Clarke's. "I'm not sure if it's yours or mine."

They both laughed as Clarke ran her hands across Lexa's stomach under the shirt and kissed the back of her neck. "It's mine, I got it at a Rangers game years ago."

"You and those Rangers." Lexa took a deep breath in. "I am so glad to be home, waking up next to you is still probably my favourite thing."

"Aren't you just a sap this morning."

"You love it."

Clarke sighed. "True, but where's my coffee?"

"Keeping warm, I wanted to let you sleep. I'll go get it for you." Lexa felt arms squeeze her waist.

"No, just stay, you're to warm to let go of right now."

"And I'm the sap." She felt Clarke nod her head against her shoulder. "Okay, coffee after then."

XOXO

Their ceremony had gone flawlessly and without a single hiccup. Both women barely held it together as they walked down the aisles toward one another. It got even worse during their vows but they had managed to let out a few tears without ruining their makeup.

"Ladies and gentlemen if you'd please rise and welcome in our favourite couple Clarke and Lexa Griffin-Callaway. Seriously you two, did you have to hyphenate it?" Raven asked with a laugh and the shake of her head.

The sounds of Marvin Gaye's 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' started playing through the speakers as Clarke and Lexa made their way through the double doors into the room filled with their friends and family. As they got to the middle of the room Lexa spun Clarke around and pulled her in close as they swayed back and forth. It didn't take long before they started singing the song to one another causing them both to break out into a fit of laughter.

"You make me the happiest person on this planet Lexa Griffin-Callaway."

Lexa grinned that wide eye grin she did whenever she was really happy. "You couldn't possibly the happiest person on this planet because I'm pretty sure that's me Clarke Griffin-Callaway."

"You just always have to win don't you?" Clarke grinned as she spoke softest enough for only Lexa to hear.

"I won the day you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me."

"Rest of my life, I just thought you'd be good as far as first marriages go." Clarke wagged her eyebrows. She watched Lexa tilt her head back to laugh and in that moment above any other she knew that this was going to last a life time. "Always," she whispered.

"And forever." Lexa whispered in return as she kissed her wife's cheek.


End file.
